The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Mtndog]

Good Sunday morning sillies........

Bevvy????? what in hell is going on? Has she checked in today? oh dear, I hope there's nothing serious.....

Amanda - hope Lucky's okay.......

Well sillies, my back's been acting up a bit lately - some slight but increasing pain - and today, I was planning on going to church......then, pulled a muscle or DISLODGED somethign in me spine whilst shaving my legs in shower. Am now in enoooooooormous pain, and quite hunched over when walking. So.......I'm on the couch......Weezee is bored out of her mind, as am I........need any and all available sillies to come entertain us.

got nowt else.......

but yeah, who does that Nikerler think she is, not checking in wif her sillies during her trip!!!!!!!!!!

Spruezee!!!!!!! Poopy Cow on the back! You must stop shaving your legs- get 'em lasered whenst you get yer boob job!

Well, NO TEARS when we dropped the Ripper off, thank gawd. He gave me one of his huge, marvelous hugs, I smelled his boyish, messy hair, and he trotted off to his cabin with Eugene, a young kid he had just met who, like him, doesn't know anyone else there.

This is a co-ed camp, so he may end up hanging around the girls more - - he tends to get on better with them than the boys, because, to quote him directly, "Girls are usually a lot more sensible and kind. Boys my age can be crazy and babyish".

Yeah, well, Jack....dunno how much that's gonna change in your life........

Oh my Gawd- how cute is he!!!!!!!!!

[elye]

Amanda.......puleeze report in.....is Lucky eating anything?

Soooooozie.....your back?

Janet.........knee?

Ptaoughmghmn! Anything happening wif yer expensive little bottles?

[Darn210]

Amanda.......puleeze report in.....is Lucky eating anything?

Soooooozie.....your back?

Janet.........knee?

Ptaoughmghmn! Anything happening wif yer expensive little bottles?

Nosey ain't she???

[Judyin Philly]

Gosh lots going on today.

Emily.......glad no tears were shed and son has a buddy

Amanda....hows the kitty

Susie....... is you back better

sorry if i left anyone out.

yes the storms and lighting were horrific here

took a nap and thought it was all over and headed out to the store. didn't have what i needed so had to do Acme too

WELL........COMING OUT.......HERE I AM WITH THE LIGHTING STRIKING ALL AROUND .......WIND BLOWING LIKE MAD..........AND OF COURSE POURING RAIN.

CAN YOU JUST PICTURE ..........JUDY THE WALKING LIGHTING ROD.........

PUSHING A METAL SHOPPING CART.......METAL CANE IN ONE HAND AND METAL UNBREALLA BALANCING UNDER MY CHIN...........

GOT IN THE HOUSE AND GOT ALL THE WET GROCERIES IN THE HOUSE .....PUT AWAY WHILE GETTING DINNER.......AND .........WE ATE 15 MIN AFTER I GOT IN THE DOOR...............NOW I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT FOR THE WOMEN WHO 'MULTI-TASK EVEN COOKED SOME SOUP WHILE EATING DINNER.

THE COOKED CHICKEN AT TRADER JOES ................PRAY IT WAS OK. ALREADY HAD RICE COOKED WO JUST DID ASSPARGUS AND SALAD.i

I'm done for the day ...........getting in me jammies.

I'll keep cking off and on.

judy

[Darn210]

Amanda....hows the kitty

Susie....... is you back better

Oh . . . Judy, too . . .

[DingoGirl]

to quote him directly, "Girls are usually a lot more sensible and kind. Boys my age can be crazy and babyish".

If you guys KNEW what I was dealign wtih right now.........and HOW TRUE the Ripper's words are.......um, how did he get to be so smart???

:angry:

*warning - rant coming*

I have soooooooooooooooooooo much anger over what has transpired with a@@hole, and how I am being misrepresented, and how HE sees things versus HOW THINGS ARE. And there's nothing I can do.

I don't even know what to DO with this anger, hurt, abandonment, and betrayal.

One thing I've learned..........at a VERY VERY old age........I've always been a very trusting person, and believed what people told me about themselves. I finally wised up - at 46 years old. my friend Sophie asks me - "HOW did you not see these things in him?????? HOW will we get you to SEE things in the next guy?" <do not worry pholks - there really isn't going to BE a next guy for.......years and years and.....if there is? I'll see it. Oh boy, will I see it.....because, I"ve become a bitter old hag/cynic now>

WHAT IN HELL is wrong with me?

Because.......I"ve never been more wrong about a person in my whole life than THAT BA$TARD - I"LL SAY IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - - and am suffering terribly from it.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is something that I'll probably regret writing and may want to erase but.........who cares? If I could, I'd put billboards up all over his new city, announcing what people will eventually find out and what his not-quite-ex-wife warned me about, through Sophie. You should SEE the self-aggrandizing email he sent to everyone he knows a few days ago (including me, and we have no contact....such braggardly-ness.........such narcissism......but the latest email has........UN-HINGED me.

hurts like hell. BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

carry on

[elye]

I don't even know what to DO with this anger, hurt, abandonment, and betrayal.

Gaaaaaaahhhhh......Susie.

Wish there was something, anything, I could say or do to make your hurt go away......Time really does heal wounds, and it's all still so recent....

Talk about a crazy, babyish individual......YOU SAID IT, JACK!!!!!!!

[Mtndog]

Amanda.......puleeze report in.....is Lucky eating anything?

Soooooozie.....your back?

Janet.........knee?

Ptaoughmghmn! Anything happening wif yer expensive little bottles?

Yes, yes- please to report!!!!!!!

Oh . . . Judy, too . . .

Oh Judy- glad you're OK!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Spruezee..... that man is the leftovers after a yard sale . But I know it doesn't matter; it still hurts like HELL. :wub:

[tom]

Ptaoughmghmn! Anything happening wif yer expensive little bottles?

ooooooooooooooh kayyyyyyyyy . ..here goes . ..

bleh .. ....nothin' good anyway .. ..

Stopped taking the ND's 48-component multi-vit, which has bits of milk & soybean oil, last night. Allegedly the oil is free of the protein which I've assumed is my soy problem. So I was looking for milk symptoms & mighta ended up soyed.

Or maybe there's something in the other 3 pills.

I don't ****** know except it's very wrong that it's Jazz Fest wkend and I don't care.

(Crap . ..do I really wanna post this?)

[DingoGirl]

uh-oh.........

went to remove my rant (which, I can assure you all, very well MAY appear at a later time) and, too late!!!!!!

oh well. who cares. I would tell him all of that to his face if it mattered.......if any of it would sink in.....but it would not. If he even REMOTELY cared about me, and I thought there was just the slightest chance of his reading here....I'd not post anything. [and can you tell, taht's what's making me the craziest???? someone who is crazy in love with you, in an inseparable relationship, promises eternity to you and then......BAM. totally and completely gone..... it's shattering. Especially to an old gal. ]

Tom - things don't sound good. so sorry...get OFF those evil expensive pills!!!! have you tried all of them yet, or just some? Not caring about Jazz Fest? oh dear.......

bevvy - we haven't heard about yer stools yet......what's going on?

JUDY! mygawd, HUMAN LIGHTNING ROD!!!!!!!! Please be careful! And, quite the multi-tasker, you are!

Em - I, too, wish you, or ANYone could do anythign to a-MELL-yer-ate this pain. Just takes time. But, I'm afeared that this has all changed me forever.....and not in all good ways.

well, Weez and I will go watch olympics in bed now. *yawn*

Sillies, you MUST all fly in this week and we'll have the REAL Last of the Mojitos party.

thanks for listneing to me rant........

[Judyin Philly]

hi

hang in there susie.....

Amanda. bev you both ok

Janet your knee.

nite all

j

[elye]

Morning, Sillies!

Amanda, I think Gus has caught whatever Lucky's got. Out walking with them last night, he suddenly, without warning, with none of the gyrating heaves, barfed up this incredible yellow froth. Elsie just stared at him, wild-eyed...."What in hell are you doing?!" And he has not been the same since - - wandering the house through the night, another two small bile-looking barfs by the back patio door.... .. and this morning he stood out back eating our tall, decorative grass for about twenty minutes.

Gad, methinks the next barf'll be an angry green.......

Ptaoughmghmn! Jazz Fest, and no excitement? This is truly not right.

You wanna give everything a good try, but hell, you don't want to be feeling miserable. Can you call the naturopath and talk with her about all this? She may just say that it all takes time, but perhaps not.....maybe there's another approach (?)....just thinking aloud... . . . ..

Soooooooozle! I completely phorgot that he is a member on here! It's coming back to me.....he posted a few times. Seems like such an eternity has passed, and it was really only what, mid-winter? Six months ago, maybe?

.....Gad......Crazy and babyish..........

Time does heal all wounds.........

Bev, How are you?? We are all thinking about your stools!

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi Sillies

Em-sorry to hear your kitty might be ill to... Now Lucky has not thrown up since last morning but we are only feeding him 2 tablespoons of wet food every few hours. Plus we gave him that hairball junk that should bring it up if there is one. It hasn't come up yet but John said it needs time to work. By all other means Lucky seems fine.

We woke up to a nasty storm this morning.

House Update--the one I showed you guys was not what we liked when we got there....so many things on the outside that I didn't like and that cannot be changed such as sitting alongside an alley but there is no even patch of grass between the house and alley....I didn't like that at all. Oh well.

Another House Update--we did find another we are going to browse hopefully this evening.

Open Original Shared Link

It is bank-owned and cheap and selling as is....it needs a lot of touching up in the inside....and we have some people who are skilled fixer-uppers. Plus John and I are going to help out. This house is what we always wanted a Cape Cod, plus it cmes with things, I as a country girl want, it has land....not an abundance but enough so my kids have a place to run, its not bumped up against the neighbors like other houses in this area are. As for the work....from pictures you can tell it needs alot but it would give us the chance to get things we want. Plus if the house is 104,000 and been on the market since winter we can probably get them down to 100. If not 104 is still great. Plus we would take out and extra 20,000 for the improvements bringing our loan total up to 125,000 at most. well under what other houses in this area are costing and what some that we looked at are going for.

We did the mortgage calc. and if we bought it for 104 and put down 10% our monthly mortgage would be 583, far less than the 900 we pay in rent. So we spent the night browsing Lowes and such for ideas of what things cost and what we might like, since this house is empty and bank owned you cxan acquire it quicker than if someone was still living in it...so if possible we would want to get on it quickly.

So another exciting day upon us :):)

[jerseyangel]

Mornin'

Oh Souczie...you know if there was something--anything--I could do to make this easier on you, I would Too bad if he reads what you wrote, it's from yer heart and something it wouldn't hurt him to hear, either

Argh....poor Gus--hope it's just a passing upset. The other day, Allo was looking out the door and I heard the telltale whine and then he puked right there. I went to clean it up--and do you think he'd move? No, he just continued to watch the outdoors whilst I cleaned up around him

How are you today, Bev?

Pataughmn, I've been thinkin' bout you and figuring that all wasn't well since you have hardly been posting. I've tried the natural route and could never tolerate the suppliments. The rationale is that "the oils won't make us react" and "it such a small amount"--but for us sensitive Celiacs with other intolerances--or at least for me, this doesn't hold true. I think we're a breed unto ourselves

I have yet to find suppliments that I can take, save for the Caltrate. I finally gave up and concentrated on eating as well as I could, given the restrictions. These don't sound like they're helping you at all--you don't sound happy

Judy--did ya dry out yet? We had a ton of rain, but luckily I didn't have to go out in it. Still looks kinda iffy this morning......

Yeah Amanda--those real estate pictures always make the house look fantastic and sometimes when you actually get there, you wonder how it could be the same house!

I told our realtor that I'd like my picture taken with one of those magic real estate cameras!

You'll find the right house--it's out there waiting fer youse! This other one sounds intreguing--and looks quite charming. At that price, you could afford to make changes over time to make it your own. Make sure you like the area, cause that's the one thing you can't change. Anything else, you can--believe me Hope Lucky feels better soon.

[Darn210]

Morning all . . . How 'bout those 4x100m men's freestyle relayers!!!! OMG what a fantastic race!!!

Amanda . . . no, not likely that they will show the house sittin' on the alley . . . . . . hope the next one does better. It's smart to get a rough idea at how much things will cost to fix/replace. Pink tile can be replaced at your leisure (assuming you were planning on getting rid of the pink tile kitchen counter tops ) but if you are redoing the hardwood floors, I would recommend doing that before you move in if you can . . . quite a dusty project!!! You can get a good deal if you're willing to do the work or get some "free" labor donated by family/friends!!!

Emily . . . how are you holdin' up without the Ripper? . . . perhaps we should all think of a question for him to answer when he gets back . . . something like . . . would you be willing to go bald if you could have an extra set of eyes in the back of your head (and YOU would be the only one like that)??

Tom . . . PoopY Cow on the $uppliment$

Spruezee . . . I know he hurt you, but I say good riddance. You have seen his true coloUrs. . . . and realistically, who but we few faithful sillies actually keep up and read all these posts!!! I find it highly unlikely he should ever see your rant!! We could send it to him, though (we wouldn't, but like Patti said, he deserves to hear a few of those things.)

To all you puking pet owners . . . when my Maggie dog had her spells, I would feed her (cooked) ground beef mixed with rice and cottage cheese and water (twas recommended by the vet). The vet, during one particuallarly bad spell put her on zantac.

Knee's doing good.

[blueeyedmanda]

Hi Everyone-

I was going to redo the entire kitchen! It is not efficent the way they have it. That poor cook-top is so small. I need to buy all appliances anyway so I would just do the whole kitchen.

We plan on doing the work before moving in because we would want to paint and such. I am not digging that pink countertop though....if it was a different color...maybe!

[Mtndog]

No sick fur babies!!!!!!! Sad I hope Gus and Lucky are OK (did I miss anyone?)

Oh Ptaum- Sorry about the soying/lactosing. I hope you feel better soon (((((((HUGS))))))).

Time does heal all wounds.........

Bev, How are you?? We are all thinking about your stools!

And, the best part- TIME WOUNDS ALL HEALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, oh- he's gonna get it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah baby!

I am doing Ok- thank you all for thinking of my stools They are halfway through testing (I called- can't stop worrying) and they look like they are gonna be OK. But doc is gonna call me about blood work- what does this mean? Should I worry (like I'm not gonna anyway!)

[Mtndog]

Oh for those of you who know naught what SKEEBALL is, we turned our Swedish friends onto it soo much that Peter sent us this:

I am currently the record holder at 370! This guy got a 9 freaking hundred!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

TIME WOUNDS ALL HEALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, oh- he's gonna get it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah baby!

Oh yeah!!

Bev, I hear ya on the worrying--my appointment with the gastroenterologist to look further into this elevated enzyme situation is on Friday.

Jeeze--never a dull moment, huh?

[Jestgar]

Oh for those of you who know naught what SKEEBALL is, we turned our Swedish friends onto it soo much that Peter sent us this:

OMG You throw those little hard balls!! Do you have any idea how many times I would hit myself in the head with them before even getting close to hitting the catcher thingy?? My version of a 'perfect game' would be to get one ball somewhere near the top part of the dealie and not hurt myself or anyone standing near me _{which would be a perfect stranger because everyone I know backs away when I pick up some projectile}.

[Ridgewalker]

Got this from a friend, and now I pass it on to my Silly friends. I think #1 is my favorite.

None of that Sissy Stuff

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad --I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick --Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off.

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!

Friendship is like peeing your pants,

everyone can see it,

but only you can feel the true warmth.

[jerseyangel]

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

And don't think I don't appreciate it!

How you doin' Sarah? I was thinking we haven't heard from you lately.

[Mtndog]

OMGAWD- patti- I hope all will be OK. Jess- you could SO totally skee ball! If I can do it you can do it!

Got this from a friend, and now I pass it on to my Silly friends. I think #1 is my favorite.

None of that Sissy Stuff

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad --I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared -- we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick --Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off.

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask -- because you are my FRIEND!

Friendship is like peeing your pants,

everyone can see it,

but only you can feel the true warmth.

Sarah- I love that!!!!!!! Cracks me up every time!!!!!!!!! My favorite is "When you are confused -- I will use little words."

I think "When you fall...." should be "When you fall, I will laugh my arse off (and then try to pick you up"

[jerseyangel]

"When you fall, I will laugh my arse off (and then try to pick you up"

Hee--My little sister, who is really one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, has this habit of laughing whenever anyone trips or falls. It's like a nervous habit--she doesn't really think it's phunny, she just automatically laughs.

I come from a long line of wierdos

[blueeyedmanda]

I think my fave is about "when you fall....." Because I do fall alot and people have to help me up LOL!