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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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psawyer Proficient

There has been so much sadness and anger here of late.

Our nephew sent us a couple of phunnies that I want to share. :)

Missing Husband

Rick was in trouble -- He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, 'Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT HAD BETTER BE THERE!!' The next morning, Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused and curious, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new....BATHROOM SCALE. Rick has been missing since Friday.

Please pray for him. :lol:

And, he also sent us:

THIS IS QUITE REMARKABLE, PLEASE DON'T CHEAT!

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it. They are:

A. Apple

B. Banana

C. Strawberry

D. Peach

E. Orange

Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!

Test results: Please SCROLL DOWN

If you have chosen:

A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples

B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas

C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries

D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches

E. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges

:D

Sarah, if you're reading, I'm thinking about you constantly.


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Darn210 Enthusiast
Typo-shmypo Allen does NOT want a neutering!!!!!!

GAHHHHH!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol: Well, the edit window is still open . . . I could go fix it . . . but it's phunnier this way.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
Sorry 'bout the kitty, Amanda . . . how old is Lucky?

Lucky just turned 3. He is such a loyal kitty....I am getting teared up thinking of him. I am in "the home office" currently....yes and typing on the computer. I do it all the time, this is how I disconnected from the Tv's phones and the hubby for a bit. I am fully clothed though ;)

Landen is here tonight, boy was he clingy tonight. Didn't want to sit in the cart at Wegmans, he wanted me to hold him, didn't want me walking out of the room...anyway he is sleeping in his new crib. We got one of the cribs from my mom's and now he has his own crib in our spare bedroom...or as we refer to it now, Landen's room.

Jen, Landens mom put an offer on a townhouse today. So I am hoping she makes out well there.

Hi Alex!!! I missed you :)

Hi all other sillies...I cannot wait to meet Allen, he sounds so much fun. I told him if I come tomorrow we could put the Little Tikes 8 in 1 playground together so he would have some slides to go on. Since mom didnt have any kids yet this year old enough and Silvia is too small, our climbers have been put away....time to break em out!

Darn210 Enthusiast
A. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples

B. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas

C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries

D. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches

E. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges

Peter!! I totally fell for it . . . made sure I didn't peek before I made my selection . . . :lol::lol: . . . I'm "C" by the way.

Green12 Enthusiast
Speaking of youth-in-asia, the other day the Olympics announcer says "the Chinese women" while the tv shows those teensy barely-teen gymnasts!!! :facemakingsnortofdisbelief:

16 is the minimum age now but one seems to be 13 & another 15 - according to, until very recently, China's own official athletics websites!!! :blink:

Those Chinese gymnast look very young , It's hard to believe all but maybe one are over 16.

Hi all other sillies...I cannot wait to meet Allen, he sounds so much fun. I told him if I come tomorrow we could put the Little Tikes 8 in 1 playground together so he would have some slides to go on. Since mom didnt have any kids yet this year old enough and Silvia is too small, our climbers have been put away....time to break em out!

Sorry about Lucky Amanda :(

That's wonderful news about your parent's new foster child, he sounds like a real cutie!

Hi Alex!! I hope you are well :)

Great Sillies Peter! I totally fell for the fruit one too. I was really torn between the peach and the banana, but I guess it doesn't matter anyway :lol:

Judy dear, yep I have those books on my Good Reads, just go to my books page and check them out. The series in order is Little Altars Everywhere, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, and Ya-Yas In Bloom, all by Rebecca Wells.

I just finished Little Altars tonight. Gotta go to the library and get me Divine Secrets this weekend!

Sillies, I am sad swimming will be over soon :( Lots of track and field coming up I guess.....and what else?

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

I have to say I really like the winter games better than the summer. I enjoy watching the Skiing, but I love the luge and the bobsled events.

You know tonight I noticed a sign of summer ending.....the sun has been going down sooner....My house was darker when Landen was heading to bed tonight, usually I have to close all shades when I am putting him down. Plus the last few nights have been chillier!

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

Hi My Silly Buddies

I'm so glad to see and hear from you all

Esp. our Alex.........happy to see you on line.

Just don't have any funny in me bones tonight... :(

Hope and pray Sarah is doing ok

Amanda.......sorry about your Lucky but good news about Allen. How is you foot doing

Peter......thanks for the attemp at making our nite a little brigher........ B)

think I'll call it a nite.

thanks for being there for each other today.

Tomorrow is another day and maybe it will be a better one

we can hope.

Judy

EDIT-----i see Sarah........please post Sarah if you feel your up to itWe'd love to hear from you

Can you feel the love and strength coming from all of us?

We care so much about you and your precious boys.

Judy


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Ridgewalker Contributor

Hi Judy... I'm completely and utterly exhausted... just wanted to skim through here... but I did just send an email update, hopefully everybody got it. My brain's not functioning well....

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

pLEASE...........don't worry about us.

your short post here let's all know your alive.... B)

I did just rec your email and know there was so much exhaustion just typing it all out

Please stick by your guns .........and gut.........

we love you Sarah.

I pray you can get some sleep tonight

at least you have a week to get your thoughts together.

nite

Judy

elye Community Regular

Thank you SOOOO much for that email update, Sarah. You are amazing to be thinking about keeping us posted when you are going through all this! But it's true, we all worry and wonder constantly about you, and wait for each update.

Our Hugs and prayers continue! :wub:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Hi Everyone

Was at the vet this morning with Lucky, we have to await bloodwork results. I wont be around today. I am going to see my new little bro, Allen. He talks to me on the phone and sounds adorable :)

So I am leaving soon and will check if later tonight if I come back home this evening.

Have a good day sillies!

Jestgar Rising Star

Have fun 'manda! Bring back a new avatar!

Jestgar Rising Star

So mods, how did this whole 'Scott reminding us to be polite' thing come about?

I'm assuming that neither he, nor you all constantly monitor all the threads, so does that mean someone had to actually waste their day looking for posts that they could call offensive just so they could run to dad and say "he's being mean to me!!"?

Are there really people who have lost site of the fact that this is a computer, and not real life? I just can't believe that's the case.

Mtndog Collaborator

ALEX- It was so good to "see" you- COME BACK- we miss you! I'll take you to the Cape ;)

There has been so much sadness and anger here of late.

Our nephew sent us a couple of phunnies that I want to share. :)

Missing Husband

Rick was in trouble -- Rick has been missing since Friday.

Please pray for him. :lol:

And, he also sent us:

THIS IS QUITE REMARKABLE, PLEASE DON'T CHEAT!

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it. They are:

Sarah, if you're reading, I'm thinking about you constantly.

Pieter- I am constantly looking for Rick :lol: :lol: :lol:

I can't believe how revealing that test was - I NEVER knew I was a person who liked strawberries :lol:

Hi Judy... I'm completely and utterly exhausted... just wanted to skim through here... but I did just send an email update, hopefully everybody got it. My brain's not functioning well....

It's just nice to see you- we love you.. :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

OK- in regards to the sadness and anger here, I have a few quotes for you (feeling feisty today):

"Be kind, everyone you meet knows you're better looking" (somebody)

"I've been there; I hope you have to go there too" (Patti)

"Families are a bond you share that is , unfortunately, unbreakable"(Amanda)

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

- George Bernard Shaw

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

- Charles Pierce

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

- Winston Churchill

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.

- Irvin S. Cobb

THIS ONE IS FOR ME:

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

- Forrest Tucker :lol: :lol:

Mtndog Collaborator
So mods, how did this whole 'Scott reminding us to be polite' thing come about?

I'm assuming that neither he, nor you all constantly monitor all the threads, so does that mean someone had to actually waste their day looking for posts that they could call offensive just so they could run to dad and say "he's being mean to me!!"?

Are there really people who have lost site of the fact that this is a computer, and not real life? I just can't believe that's the case.

I am not a mod any longer, but yes, I believe it may have been the case. Although I appreciate Scott's reminder to be nice, I think it should have been spread to some others on the board as well. I told him that.

But, let us remain phunny- I can't take anymore drama that is not "Real". We have enough with all the REAL LIFE stuff going on with the members of this thread. :D

Jestgar Rising Star
I am not a mod any longer, but yes, I believe it may have been the case.

Curious.

It's my opinion that if you offend someone who's opinion you value, you seek that person out and make amends. If you feel that the impetus was only to add unpleasantness to the world, then ignore it. Why should you concern yourself with someone who only values unhappiness?

And I have one more quote to add

"Maybe her purpose in life is to make you look good." (Jane)

Jestgar Rising Star

And I have to add, that everytime my post leads to a new page, I feel a little pang of regret that it didn't make me royalty :(:lol: :lol: :lol::P

Darn210 Enthusiast

Dang . . . I'm tired. Told the kids to sleep in today. They have to get up at 7:00 on school days (oh, by the way, school started last week). So this morning they slept in . . . until 7:07. I don't think they get it . . . and normally they seem like such bright kids. :P

Jess . . . when is your surgery?? Is it Monday?? How long do you have to stay in the hospital?

Also just wanted to check . . .who here (besides me) hasn't been a monarch?

elye Community Regular
And I have to add, that everytime my post leads to a new page, I feel a little pang of regret that it didn't make me royalty :(:lol::lol::lol::P

:lol::lol::lol:

Jess, I believe you were Queen at around the 400-page flipover, er thereabouts.

Just like a graduating year or degree letters, from now on those of us who have held monarch position should designate such as part of their signature - - everywhere. On your Visa slips, on cheques, letters to the school.....This sort of thing needs to be recognised.

Elye p1000-1100

:lol::lol:

Dang . . . I'm tired. Told the kids to sleep in today. They have to get up at 7:00 on school days (oh, by the way, school started last week). So this morning they slept in . . . until 7:07. I don't think they get it . . . and normally they seem like such bright kids. :P

I hate this......but at least my kids are a little older and usually sleep past 7:30, anyways....

Jack gets home from camp tonight!!! He emailed me a couple of photos this past week, playing volleyball and flipping over in a kayak..........ah, to be young again....... :)

Jess! your surgery is Monday morning, is it not? Are you the type that must ceremoniously say farewell to her uterus? Write a letter to it, have some final verses read?

I do believe my aunt did something like this............someone I do not see that much.......

:huh:<_<

Green12 Enthusiast
Dang . . . I'm tired. Told the kids to sleep in today. They have to get up at 7:00 on school days (oh, by the way, school started last week). So this morning they slept in . . . until 7:07. I don't think they get it . . . and normally they seem like such bright kids. :P

:lol::lol:

Jess . . . when is your surgery?? Is it Monday?? How long do you have to stay in the hospital?

I was just thinking the exact same thing Janet............and Bevy, when do you get the PICC??

Jess, I believe you were Queen at around the 400-page flipover, er thereabouts.

Just like a graduating year or degree letters, from now on those of us who have held monarch position should designate such as part of their signature - - everywhere. On your Visa slips, on cheques, letters to the school.....This sort of thing needs to be recognised.

Elye p1000-1100

:lol:

Don't forget the "HRH".......HRH Elye p1000-11000

Jess! your surgery is Monday morning, is it not? Are you the type that must ceremoniously say farewell to her uterus? Write a letter to it, have some final verses read?

What a splendid idea!! We We must do something special in Sillyville this weekend, a Bon Voyage party for Jess's uterus or sumfin

Darn210 Enthusiast
What a splendid idea!! We We must do something special in Sillyville this weekend, a Bon Voyage party for Jess's uterus or sumfin

Yeah, one of you rhymie types should throw sumptin together . . . Ode to a Uterus.

Jestgar Rising Star
What a splendid idea!! We We must do something special in Sillyville this weekend, a Bon Voyage party for Jess's uterus or sumfin

:lol: :lol: :lol:

At this point I'm wishing I had sent her on her way much much sooner. I'm more inclined to opt for 'I have my life back' party. When I don't have to plan all my daily tasks around how many tampons fit into my purse, and how close I'll have to be to a bathroom. Probably similar to all you gastro-gluten people....

I think Bev does hers Wednesday. Honey, I'll do a couple extra shots of pain-killer in your honor Wednesday morning :D

Darn210 Enthusiast

NICKERLER's BACK!!!!!!

Welcome back Nikki!!!! Don't expect to hear from you for quite some time . . . you're WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY behind!!!

nikki-uk Enthusiast

Psillies!!!!!

Turkısh poop ın!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope all me peeps are ok.

GADS ıts hot!!

Havıng a phab tıme -- burnt to a crısp :lol::lol:

Tryıng to work thıs strange laptop :rolleyes: ....pool partytonıght @ 10pm

nikki-uk Enthusiast

Psillies!!!!!

Turkısh poop ın!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope all me peeps are ok.

GADS ıts hot!!

Havıng a phab tıme -- burnt to a crısp :lol::lol:

Tryıng to work thıs strange laptop :rolleyes: ....pool partytonıght @ 10pm

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    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, @jimmydee! Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder, meaning the consumption of gluten triggers a response by the immune system that causes the body to attack it's own tissue. Celiac disease has a genetic base that requires some kind of trigger for the genes to be turned on. We know that there are two primary genes responsible for providing the potential to develop celiac disease and we know that about 40% of the population carries one or both of these genes. However, only about 1% of the population actually develops celiac disease. So, that tells us that something more than just having the genes is necessary in order to develop celiac disease. Something must trigger those genes to wake up and produce the active disease. It's that "something" that we are struggling to understand and that is somewhat of a mystery. But there is a growing body of evidence pointing to the culprit being a disruption of the proper balance of microorganisms in the gut. Apparently, the microorganisms that live in our intestines produce chemicals that regulate the size of the openings in the mucous lining of our small bowel. A disruption in the healthy balance of this microorganic community causes an increase in the size of the openings in the mucous lining. This in turn allows protein fragments from the food we eat that are larger than normal to invade the mucous lining where they are detected as threats by the immune system. This is what is happening with gluten for those with celiac disease. The attack in the mucous lining of the small bowel by the immune system on these incompletely broken down gluten components causes inflammation and, over time, as we continue to consume gluten, it damages the mucosal lining of the small bowel which results in the loss of efficiency of nutrient absorption. This mucosal lining is made up of millions of tiny finger like projections that create an enormous surface area for the absorption of nutrients when healthy. The "wearing down" of these millions of finger-like projections due to celiac inflammation greatly reduces the surface area and thus the ability to absorb nutrients. This in turn typically results in numerous health issues that have a nutrient deficiency base. But the answer to the question of why there seems to be an epidemic of celiac disease in recent years may not be simple. It may have many facets. First, we don't know how much of this epidemic is real and how much is apparent. That is, how much of what we perceive of as a dramatic increase in the incidence of celiac disease is simply due to greater awareness and better detection methods? Celiac disease is not new. There is evidence from ancient writings that people suffered from it back then but they did not have a name for it. And it wasn't until WW2 that gluten was identified as the cause of celiac disease. Current thinking on what is causing imbalance in gut biology has put forth a number of causes including overuse of antibiotics and pesticides, environmental toxins, fluoridation of drinking water, preoccupation with hygiene and sanitation, and the western diet. https://www.celiac.com/celiac-disease/theories-on-the-growing-prevalence-of-celiac-disease-and-gluten-sensitivity-over-the-last-half-century-video-r6716/?tab=comments#comment-25345 All this to say that I doubt your UTI or the low dose aspirin had anything to do with the onset of your celiac disease. It was probably just coincidence unless the UTI was the stress trigger that activated the celiac potential genes. The onset of celiac disease an happen at any stage of life and many people report it following a period of illness. But what is interesting about your low dose aspirin theory is that aspirin is in a class of medications known as NSAIDs (Non Steroidal Anti Inflammatory Drugs). Scientific studies have shown that long term use of NSAIDs can damage the villous lining of the small bowel in the same way as celiac disease.  The other thing I wish to point out is that unless you have actual testing done for celiac disease, you can't be sure if you have celiac disease or NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity). They share many of the same symptoms, the difference being that NCGS doesn't damage the lining of the small bowel. There is no test for NCGS, celiac disease must first be ruled out. NCGS is 10x more common than celiac disease. The antidote for both is a gluten free diet.
    • julie falco
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    • jimmydee
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    • knitty kitty
      Welcome to the forum, @Karen Chakerian, We need more information, please.   What homeopathic remedies or medications are you taking now?  Do you still have the blood pressure and other symptoms?  What is included in your diet currently?  Dairy? Oats?  Processed gluten free foods?  Vegetarian?  Other food allergies?  Do you take vitamins?  When gluten is removed from the diet, the body stops making the anti-gluten antibodies that are usually measured in blood tests used to diagnose Celiac disease.  To measure the anti-gluten antibodies, you would have to consume 10 grams of gluten (4-6 slices of bread or equivalent) per day for a minimum of 2 weeks or longer.   A DNA test which looks for the most common genes for Celiac Disease may be a less invasive avenue to pursue.  Has your doctor checked you for nutritional deficiencies? Glad you're here!
    • knitty kitty
      @SaiP, Insomnia is listed as one of the side effects of Loratadine.   Niacin B3 in the form Tryptophan, Pyridoxine B 6, Folate B 9, Cobalamine B12, Magnesium, and Thiamine B 1 are needed to produce the sleep hormone melatonin.  Insomnia can also be caused by low Vitamin D and low Vitamin A.   A strict gluten free diet can be low in essential  vitamins.   Gluten containing products are required to replace vitamins lost in processing and milling.  Gluten free processed foods are not required to have vitamins added.  White rice is not a good source of B vitamins.  Brown rice is little better.  Exposure to light (even grocery store lights) and heat (during transportation) can destroy B vitamins.   B vitamins are easily lost in urine and diarrhea because they are water soluble.  If you have had diarrhea longer than two weeks, you are probably low in B vitamins.  Fat based vitamins, like Vitamins D and A, can be low due to fat malabsorption in Celiac disease, too.   Damaged villa in Celiac Disease do not absorb B vitamins and fat based vitamins and minerals well.  Supplementing with essential nutrients while villi heal boosts the ability to absorb essential vitamins and minerals.  Vitamins are stored and utilized inside cells.  Blood levels are not accurate measurements of vitamin deficiencies.  You can have normal blood levels while having deficiencies inside cells.  The brain orders cells to release their stores so the brain and heart can keep functioning.  This results in normal blood levels, but vitamin deficits inside cells.   Your indulgence in a little bit of bread is providing some, but insufficient amounts, of vitamins needed to make sleep hormone melatonin while keeping your inflammation and histamine production high.   In addition to a B Complex, I took 1000 mg of tryptophan before bed to correct my insomnia caused by high histamine levels.  Correcting my Vitamin D level to between 75-100 nmol/ml helped as well.  Also Passion flower extract is helpful in falling asleep quickly.   Please stop eating gluten bread as this will keep your autoimmune response triggering and your antibody levels won't go down and your histamine levels will stay up as well.   Celiac is a marathon, not a sprint.  P.S. I wanted to reiterate that insomnia and weight loss are symptoms of Thiamine deficiency.  Benfotiamine is a form of thiamine that promotes intestinal healing.  Thiamine is water soluble and nontoxic even in high doses.  High doses are needed to correct thiamine deficiency. All mitochondria in cells utilize thiamine.  The World Health Organization says to take 500 - 1000 mg per day of thiamine and look for health improvement.  Diets that are high in carbohydrates like rice and gluten require more thiamine.  For every 1000 calories from carbohydrates, we need 500 mg more thiamine.  Thiamine is found in meat.  Few veggies contain thiamine. Can you rise from a squat without assistance?  This is the field test for thiamine deficiency used by WHO.  If you cannot rise easily from a squat you may be thiamine deficient.
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