Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):
  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

psawyer Proficient
I wonder if things will ever get back to normal?

Me too. :(


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Lisa Mentor

Here is a funny for ya'll. Feel free to substitute names and faces. ;)

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first .

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?

Scroll down

The moral is.....

If you don't let a woman have her own way....

Things are going to get ugly

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

QUOTE (jerseyangel @ Aug 19 2008, 07:55 AM)

I wonder if things will ever get back to normal?

Me too. :( Peter

me three :( Judy

jerseyangel Proficient
If you don't let a woman have her own way....

Things are going to get ugly

Lisa--you are priceless! :rolleyes:;):)

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Sillies- I had the X-ray....I walked down to radiology this morning and had it done. I am awaiting word. Since I work here and I am the patient I am looking for my results to come across the computer. Ill let you know soon!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

I also forgot to mention, my mom got another child yesterday, also a boy who is 2 yrs old his name is Ethan so now she has Ethan and Alan.....I think that is funny!

elye Community Regular

Wow, Amanda! Two foster kids! That is awesome! :)

Great phunny, Lisa! :lol: Gonna send that along to my male buddies........

Quiet lately in these parts...I miss all the phun :(

I just pheel blah--I wonder if things will ever get back to normal?

Me too. :(

YES!!!!! :):) Things WILL be back to normal!!....

Spoke to me dad this morning. He told me that he's getting so old and bored, with all this time on his hands..... he was looking around for something to do last night. He plugged the phone in where their blender used to be. He said, "I called somebody.....and I heard, "AAAUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!"


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



DingoGirl Enthusiast
Yes, I phell into the drink. We went by a cottage with a number of young people lounging about on a large deck. We were too far out to yell, "Hi, there", so we were just coasting by.....when SUDDENLY...........dear gawd........an incredible sound system begins to pound, there are some screeches as the girls and a couple of the guys jump off their muskoka chairs and begin dancing around, as JIVE TALKIN' begins to pulsate down the lake.

:lol: :lol: this makes me laff.........and it was JIVE TALKIN'?? ancient history.....young people are listening to this? :blink: is it.........back? Admittedly quite a phun song.......but there are very few 80's songs I will listen to.....

but I bet she WAS dancing like Elaine Bennis.......'twas the final foot kick that flung her in.....

HEY! Looks like this guy stole our idea for coming up with new things to compete in at the Olympics:

:lol: Dwight :lol:

turkish luge

BUT...we took Angus to the beach last night and he was HEE-larious

<-----------See new avatar

:wub: Weezee told me to tell you taht she is in LOVE wif Angus.........my gawd, look how CUTE he is!!!!!!!!

<crazy, obsessed dog lady - that is me>

.......and one final farewell salute to Jess's uterus :D............can we get the choir to join in?........Tom will direct, and Peter can.........oh jeez, everything that comes to mind sounds so......wrong, without trying to :ph34r:

:lol:

Hey.......where IS Jess? Thought she might have checked in by now.....maybe the drugs are TOO good? I don't hear her uterus singing, either......

Quiet lately in these parts...I miss all the phun

I just pheel blah--I wonder if things will ever get back to normal?

:( Patti - blah, I know. Aren't you going in fer sumfin' tomorrow? Colonoscopy? Endoscopy? or......did I dream this?

we WILL get back to normal........but alas, we have to realize there will always be pain and loss.....and my goodness, we've been phollowing each others' lives for......quite a while now....... :) but sadly, there WILL be more loss and grief in our midst .........that's why it's good we are here. :wub:

I also forgot to mention, my mom got another child yesterday, also a boy who is 2 yrs old his name is Ethan so now she has Ethan and Alan.....I think that is funny!

:lol: that IS funny! they have another one? wow, what a handful!

I jsut can't get over how impish and cute that Alan is...... adorable!

Well, must walk the dog, mow the lawns, make jewelry with a friend, and then........my daily online hunt for volunteer and real jobs.....PRAY FOR SOMETHING GOOD TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am tired of hunting. :(

SARAH - the water. :( Oh my God, you are beign tested. Sometimes I think things have to get pretty damned dark before the brightest light can come. None of it makes sense.....but just hold onto hope....be strong......and take care of YOURSELF.........and your boys.

Your parents own that home, right? I don't know if this applies in NC - but there are places in California that will assist homeowners with projects.......grant money......etc. Something maybe your parents can look into.

Praying for you. :wub:

jerseyangel Proficient
He plugged the phone in where their blender used to be. He said, "I called somebody.....and I heard, "AAAUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!"

Your dad :wub:

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

Lisa Mamma Goose

do you see the buttons............to the right of the page numbers for the thread?

Good Luck

Judy

jerseyangel Proficient
:( Patti - blah, I know. Aren't you going in fer sumfin' tomorrow? Colonoscopy? Endoscopy? or......did I dream this?

An endoscopy.... <_<

I think we were posting at the same time, Soozle :) You're right, of course.....such is life....

Amanda--I keep phorgetting to tell you that Allen looks a lot like my older son did at that age :D What a cutie, and now Ethan. Bless yer parents! Let us know bout that ankle.

I'm not surprised that Jess hasn't checked in--she's either still in the hospital or coming home today. I was in 2 days but I think she said somephin 'bout going home the next day. Either way, it's slow going; getting around the phirst week or so. She has me number, so if she's not up to the computer, maybe she'll call.

She was on me mind all day yesterday....as was Sarah, of course. I sent Sarah a long email yesterday morning, poor thing, the news keeps going from bad to worse :(

Lisa Mentor
Lisa Mamma Goose

do you see the buttons............to the right of the page numbers for the thread?

Good Luck

Judy

Shhhhhh :ph34r::blink: I'll play a little later when I have some time. :D Thanks J

jerseyangel Proficient
Shhhhhh :ph34r::blink: I'll play a little later when I have some time. :D Thanks J

:unsure: Sumphin' aphoot? Play? :unsure:

Mtndog Collaborator

Emily- I LOVE your new avatar!!!!!!! Omg, I bawled when they gave out the medals. The Olympics (especially horses) turns me into a blubbering mess. So many happy childhood memories!

I can actually visualize this - - an enormous pipe organ playing away, a rising crescendo of voices, gyrating, swaying bodies in burgundy robes......

The Farewell Hymn to Jess's Uterus.......

... . . Too early in the morning to be thinking lyrics... .... .....

A eulogy of sorts- or is it's Ben Stiller's eugoogly in Zoolander :lol: :lol: Bet you guys didn't know I was such a good eugooglizer :lol:

The moral is.....

If you don't let a woman have her own way....

Things are going to get ugly

:lol: :lol: Ain't that the truth?

I also forgot to mention, my mom got another child yesterday, also a boy who is 2 yrs old his name is Ethan so now she has Ethan and Alan.....I think that is funny!

:lol: It's o great that your mom does this!!!!!!!!!!

:wub: Weezee told me to tell you taht she is in LOVE wif Angus.........my gawd, look how CUTE he is!!!!!!!!

we WILL get back to normal........but alas, we have to realize there will always be pain and loss.....and my goodness, we've been phollowing each others' lives for......quite a while now....... :) but sadly, there WILL be more loss and grief in our midst .........that's why it's good we are here. :wub:

I agree- we WILL get back to normal. Life can be hard, really hard, but the beautiful things make the pain bearable.

Angus sends kisses- his girlfriend Cassie is staying with us for four days :wub:

An endoscopy.... <_<

Gah- what a freaking week! Sarah's situation, Jess's surgery, Patti's endoscopy ( you do NOT have refractory sprue but it's good they're going to check). I hope your results are GOOD. I get PICC'd on Friday but am feeling better about it now.

We need Em's dad, Uncle ray and our founder Richard!!!!!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

So my X-rays are negative. I just saw the report. Hmmmm.....when will my leg get better than?

jerseyangel Proficient
I get PICC'd on Friday but am feeling better about it now.

We need Em's dad, Uncle ray and our founder Richard!!!!!

I'm glad you're feeling ok about it now, Bev.....maybe after the break, your body will tolerate it better :) What a week, indeed!

I was so saddened to hear 'bout your dad's kitty :(

Yes--we need our 3 Sillie wise men :P

elye Community Regular
So my X-rays are negative. I just saw the report. Hmmmm.....when will my leg get better than?

Well, we've got some good news!! :)

Amanda, if you're working the leg normally (usual walking/moving that one does in a regular day), it can take a while. You've likely pulled or strained something..... ...Alternating heat and ice on the area, fifteen minures for each, for an hour a few times a day, always helps me immeasurably. If you've got a period of time where you're at your desk for an hour, put ice on it for fifteen minutes, then a heating pad for fifteen. Alternate for an hour. Do it at home while in front of the TV. This really works! :)

Great news that it isn't broken.........

curlyfries Contributor
Ummmm . . . actually, I knew it was you, Lisa . . .

:ph34r: oops :ph34r:

If you don't let a woman have her own way....

Things are going to get ugly

Ain't it the truth!!!!! :lol:

elye Community Regular

Holy crap... . . . . .... .... :unsure:

.... . . . .Where is everybody?... . .. .. . ..

DingoGirl Enthusiast

:unsure:

I know, 'tis so quiet here?

Peeps?????? come out and PLAY!? :huh:

Well, I am going to go to the gym. That's right, am thinking of joining. Went yesterday, kind of loved it (<my back hurts :ph34r: > . Hell, it was a part of my life for nearly 20 years......it's just not right NOT having it.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of......what seems like having to look for my life, at this age. :( Shouldn't I have had it all figured out by now? But......since leaving Monterey I haven't had a very big life, these past four years in FresNO.......no excuses now. It is disheartening, though, this search. No doors opening yet. :(

And, speaking of hell Fresno, we are so excited here as we have a freaking COLD SPELL - it's 95 degrees er sumfin today.....can you believe that this thrills us? It's been 100 degrees or more for over 90 days, I think I heard.....

Dang, just how long IS Ni-koe-lah's Turkish frolic??????????? :lol:

psawyer Proficient

Moi? Je suis ici, cach

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Moi? Je suis ici, cach
jerseyangel Proficient
Moi? Je suis ici, cach
psawyer Proficient
Moi? Je suis ici, cach
jerseyangel Proficient

Why do you hide thyself, PeOter? Undercover operations er sumphin? B)

I guess if you say, it wouldn't be so undercover anymore, now would it? :huh:

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - knitty kitty replied to dsfraley's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      12

      9 y/o Son Diagnosed with Celiac Disease; Persistent Symptoms: Does this Sound Familiar?

    2. - Mari replied to Jmartes71's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      1

      Second chance

    3. - cristiana replied to dsfraley's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      12

      9 y/o Son Diagnosed with Celiac Disease; Persistent Symptoms: Does this Sound Familiar?

    4. - Wheatwacked replied to dsfraley's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      12

      9 y/o Son Diagnosed with Celiac Disease; Persistent Symptoms: Does this Sound Familiar?

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      133,562
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Hannah Kelch
    Newest Member
    Hannah Kelch
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.6k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):
  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • knitty kitty
      I found some articles that illustrate the immune reaction to casein and gluten. Bovine milk caseins and transglutaminase-treated cereal prolamins are differentially recognized by IgA of celiac disease patients according to their age https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19290628/   Gliadin and Casein Metabolism: Synthesis of Gliadomorphin and Casomorphin and Their Biological Consequences https://www.researchgate.net/publication/397908713_Gliadin_and_Casein_Metabolism_Synthesis_of_Gliadomorphin_and_Casomorphin_and_Their_Biological_Consequences   Effects of milk containing only A2 beta casein versus milk containing both A1 and A2 beta casein proteins on gastrointestinal physiology, symptoms of discomfort, and cognitive behavior of people with self-reported intolerance to traditional cows’ milk https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4818854/#:~:text=Results,lactose tolerant and intolerant subjects.   Casomorphins and Gliadorphins Have Diverse Systemic Effects Spanning Gut, Brain and Internal Organs https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8345738/   Brain Opioid Activity and Oxidative Injury: Different Molecular Scenarios Connecting Celiac Disease and Autistic Spectrum Disorder https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7407635/  
    • Mari
      Ijmartes71 I  son't think you are crazy by any psycoligical s=defination but you are obsessive. you may have considerable brain fog  , a problem that affects celiacs and many other people. . With this obsession you have abd being braun dogged you arw not abke to take any advice people are giving you to help you. To take advice you need to reduce your anxieties abd think more clearly. .Stop taking your herbs for at least one week because some of them will have side ellectsif you take them too long. You can add them back if you don't notice any good changes. Be more careful about being strictly gluten free.  
    • cristiana
      Just to say that I too was hesitant to come off dairy products completely @dsfraley.  Milk, yoghurt and soft cheeses definitely caused bloating.  This bloating gave me rib and pelvic pain, and I remember  the pain was so horrible at times it was almost a sick feeling., kind of like the sort of aches you get with flu.   Milk, yoghurt and soft cheeses also gave me diarrhea, but I noted I could still eat small amounts of hard cheese like cheddar without any issues. Re: milk, my gastroenterologist told me at that time that I could just by lactofree products, and should be fine, but when my gut was still very damaged they went right through me regardless. Thankfully I am able to tolerate milk very well again, although I have noted that too much of it can have a slightly laxative effect. The other thing that made me feel off were heavy iron supplements, which contributed to bloating and diarrhea.  In the end a GP told me to take ferrous gluconate, which is a much gentler supplement, with water an hour before breakfast in the morning.  That was helpful.  If your son is supplementing  (which needs to be under medical supervision as too much iron can cause issues) Floravital fruit syrup is another alternative, but make sure you don't buy Floradix as it contains gluten. Lastly, all oats, soya products and certain pulses also made my stomach sore.  Apart from the oats (which need to be certified 'pure' aka gluten free ones) I was able to eat these things again some months after adopting a gluten-free diet. I would say keeping a food diary might be worth a try, noting any negative symptoms following eating.  Patterns start to emerge which might otherwise be difficult to identify.
    • trents
    • Wheatwacked
      Anyway, I have no problem with grass fed milk other than the price.  Maybe I should move to Ireland or New Zealand.  They're the only countries that don't feed grains to their cows to increase milkfat and milk volume. A side note: I just came back trom the vascular surgeon about the scan of my carotid arteries done last week.  A year ago I had over 90% stenosis in the right artery and 80% in the left.  Tcar procedure done in the right with a stent.  The results today were right side downgraded to Moderate stenosis and the surgeon did not expect to see as much improvement on the left. (untouched). I must be doing something right.  Recheck in six months.   Mucosal reactivity to cow's milk protein in coeliac disease This paper proves that cassein is the protein in cow's milk is the trigger but the study did not differentiate as grass fed milk.  I haven't found any studies specific to grassmilk. The study does not differentiate alpha or beta cassein.  Google says: some clinicians speculate that grain-based proteins could potentially pass into the milk, though scientific studies typically find no detectable gluten or gliadin fragments in bovine milk regardless of the cow's diet. So given alpha cassein as the trigger, grass fed A2 cassein; thought to be easier to digest and less likely to trigger the specific inflammatory pathways associated with standard commercial dairy; plus the omega 6:3 ratio of grain fed milk is 5.8:1 vs grass fed ratio of 1:1, grass fed milk is less inflammatory.  
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.