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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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elye Community Regular

Ahhh! Pierre! Vous etes un diable fourbe, bien sur...... . ... . . ;)B)

E with accent

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happygirl Collaborator

i'm here :D

thinking of J and hoping to hear from her soon, and wishing Patti the best tomorrow morning!

"Response to Russian attack on Georgia"

An excited redneck ran into a Wal-mart store in Alabama over the weekend with a pocket full of cash demanding all the ammunition he can buy.

This caught the immediate attention of the store manager who arrived promptly at the sporting goods counter to assess the situation.

"Why do you need all this ammunition?" the manager asks the redneck.

"'Cause I just heard on CNN that the Russians have attacked Georgia--they gonna play h$ll if they attack Alabama!"

jerseyangel Proficient
"'Cause I just heard on CNN that the Russians have attacked Georgia--they gonna play h$ll if they attack Alabama!"

:lol::lol::lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Good Luck tomorrow Patti!!!!

Has anyone heard from Sarah today?

Jess yet?

jerseyangel Proficient

Thanks Amanda--I haven't heard from Sarah.

elye Community Regular
lay h$ll if they attack Alabama!"

:lol::lol: This reminds me of what Jack exclaimed when we were watching the news, and there was footage of Russian tanks moving into Georgia. He said, "Oh my gawd..........what is Russia thinking?? A little southern state, minding their own business?!"

elye Community Regular

Patti, I've been thinking about you.....bet ya can't wait for tomorrow to be in the can. What time is your proceedure? I know you'll be a brave little soldier........ :)

Yes, I wonder if Jess is up and moving about.

The fact we haven't heard from Sarah could be a good thing...... . . maybe she's been very busy getting legal assistance and researching her position. Let's hope.............


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jerseyangel Proficient
The fact we haven't heard from Sarah could be a good thing...... . . maybe she's been very busy getting legal assistance and researching her position. Let's hope.............

This was my thought too.

My appointment's at 8:30, Em. Have to be there at 8. I'm hoping the bloodwork will be in also--she seemed to think it would be when I saw her on Friday.

Darn210 Enthusiast

Patti - this time tomorrow it will be over . . . here's hoping they find some answers (but nuttin' scary).

My neighboUr spent a couple of days in the hospital after her goil surgery . . . no guarentee that Jess is even home yet. Sure hoping that Sarah has gotten some legal counseling.

I'm in withdrawal. I have figured we were averaging about 50 emails/day for about 7 days . . . yep, that's right, I got about 350 emails (and that's what Nikki will be coming home to) . . . of course I'm not even sure I got all of them . . . and now today . . . just a pittance!!!

Darn210 Enthusiast

. . . of course, some of those were duplicates from Tom!!! . . . :lol::lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
Patti - this time tomorrow it will be over . . . here's hoping they find some answers (but nuttin' scary).

My neighboUr spent a couple of days in the hospital after her goil surgery . . . no guarentee that Jess is even home yet. Sure hoping that Sarah has gotten some legal counseling.

I'm in withdrawal. I have figured we were averaging about 50 emails/day for about 7 days . . . yep, that's right, I got about 350 emails (and that's what Nikki will be coming home to) . . . of course I'm not even sure I got all of them . . . and now today . . . just a pittance!!!

Thanks Jan-it :) I hope so too.

I know about the emails!! Twice in the last week I've had to clear out my inbox.... :P

If Nik's email account is anything like mine, she won't get half of what we sent her. Em, I just got one from you about an hour ago that I'm sure you sent yesterday :lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
. . . of course, some of those were duplicates from Tom!!! . . . :lol::lol:

:lol::lol: Poor Pataughmn! :D

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

Good Luck tomorrow patti

yep this time tomorrow...............ALL DONE

YES, HOPE NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS ON SARAH

:lol: LOVED YOUR JOKE LAURA.

JUDY

curlyfries Contributor

This is probably a little late, but could still come in handy next time any of you go straying out of Sillyville ;) .........actually, it would work well for those dealing with certain @#*!!$% men, too!

ANTI-STRESS EXERCISE

Picture yourself near a stream.......

birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air......

nothing can bother you here.......

no one knows the secret place........

you are in total seclusion from that place called "the world"........

the soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity..........

the water is clear............

you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under water.

There now.......................feeling better? :D

jerseyangel Proficient
Good Luck tomorrow patti

Thanks hun :D

There now.......................feeling better? :D

Yes, much!! :P

:lol::lol::lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
It means:

Me? I'm here, hidden.

E with accent

Mtndog Collaborator
I'm glad you're feeling ok about it now, Bev.....maybe after the break, your body will tolerate it better :) What a week, indeed!

I was so saddened to hear 'bout your dad's kitty :(

Dad's meow meow is doing Ok- she's kind of up and down with eating but so far she's hanging tough.

Patti- I hope all goes well tomorrow and that the answer is sumfin simple and I think I can speak for Laura and I when I say I hope it ain't the Lyme beast (need green tick emoticon).

Holy crap... . . . . .... .... :unsure:

.... . . . .Where is everybody?... . .. .. . ..

Yo soy aqui tambien!!!!!!!!!!! Just went out for a last Hurrah dinner with Kurt. Went to a place in Gloucester with a deck and I had a cocktail and yummy seafood! Last drink for awhile! No drinking during treatment and in the 10 week break I've probably had 2 drinks. Made these 2 count ^^

0.

Bought the funniest art cards. This woman takes food and tiny figures and make landscapes. I've gpot people lounging on sushi and skiing on cauliflower- will scan them in tomorrow :lol:

Dang, just how long IS Ni-koe-lah's Turkish frolic??????????? :lol:

The nerve :P - she probably checked her email and decided to defect :lol:

Moi? Je suis ici, cach
jerseyangel Proficient

Souczie--

So glad yer mom did well today and is pheeling well :D Now what's that smack you were talking about yerself????? :o:o Perish the very thought, dear one.....

Mtndog Collaborator
My mom had an endoscopy and colonoscopy today, and she's just home, resting comfortably, feels fantastic, even though they stretched her esophagus (the purpose of the procedure - happens yearly for her). No polyps - she says they must come from my dad's side - my grandfather, brother, dad (died of colon cancer) and I have all had them.....he cut a BIG 'UN outta me during my procedure in '06. My GI said.......they ALL turn into cancer, over time. :o I did not know that.

<morbid statement coming>

There have been days, lately, when I wish he would have left it in. Why am I here??????????? :ph34r:

speaking of certain ba$tard men, someone mentioned to me today taht A$$hole's story (and the other orphaned children across the street) very well could make it into People magazine.

This, my friends, would have me..........homicidal. :lol::angry:

Glad mom's OK :D You arre here because you are loved.

If he makes it in People I will purposely eat gluten so I can PROJECTILE vomit from here to CA!!!!!!!! <_< <_< <_<

jerseyangel Proficient
If he makes it in People I will purposely eat gluten so I can PROJECTILE vomit from here to CA!!!!!!!! <_< <_< <_<

As will moi :angry:

Lisa Mentor
i'm here :D

"'Cause I just heard on CNN that the Russians have attacked Georgia--they gonna play h$ll if they attack Alabama!"

:lol::lol::lol: This sounds scary to me because I don't think this is a joke. This can really happen ya'll. :rolleyes:

jerseyangel Proficient

Nice quote, Lisa B)

Lisa Mentor
Nice quote, Lisa B)

Work'in on it ;)

Green12 Enthusiast

Hi Sillies, feeling rather un-silly today....dunno why <_<

Just wanted to pop in and say good luck to Patti tomorrow, I hope the procedure goes well and that it is over before you know it :)

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Glad mom's OK :D You arre here because you are loved.

If he makes it in People I will purposely eat gluten so I can PROJECTILE vomit from here to CA!!!!!!!! <_< <_< <_<

:lol: fab one Bev

glad you had a nice nite

good luck with the PICC on Friday

you'll be kicking arse soon girlfriend!

As will moi :angry:

ditto

:lol::lol::lol: This sounds scary to me because I don't think this is a joke. This can really happen ya'll. :rolleyes:

probably could Lisa

Nice quote, Lisa B)

ditto

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    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, @jimmydee! Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder, meaning the consumption of gluten triggers a response by the immune system that causes the body to attack it's own tissue. Celiac disease has a genetic base that requires some kind of trigger for the genes to be turned on. We know that there are two primary genes responsible for providing the potential to develop celiac disease and we know that about 40% of the population carries one or both of these genes. However, only about 1% of the population actually develops celiac disease. So, that tells us that something more than just having the genes is necessary in order to develop celiac disease. Something must trigger those genes to wake up and produce the active disease. It's that "something" that we are struggling to understand and that is somewhat of a mystery. But there is a growing body of evidence pointing to the culprit being a disruption of the proper balance of microorganisms in the gut. Apparently, the microorganisms that live in our intestines produce chemicals that regulate the size of the openings in the mucous lining of our small bowel. A disruption in the healthy balance of this microorganic community causes an increase in the size of the openings in the mucous lining. This in turn allows protein fragments from the food we eat that are larger than normal to invade the mucous lining where they are detected as threats by the immune system. This is what is happening with gluten for those with celiac disease. The attack in the mucous lining of the small bowel by the immune system on these incompletely broken down gluten components causes inflammation and, over time, as we continue to consume gluten, it damages the mucosal lining of the small bowel which results in the loss of efficiency of nutrient absorption. This mucosal lining is made up of millions of tiny finger like projections that create an enormous surface area for the absorption of nutrients when healthy. The "wearing down" of these millions of finger-like projections due to celiac inflammation greatly reduces the surface area and thus the ability to absorb nutrients. This in turn typically results in numerous health issues that have a nutrient deficiency base. But the answer to the question of why there seems to be an epidemic of celiac disease in recent years may not be simple. It may have many facets. First, we don't know how much of this epidemic is real and how much is apparent. That is, how much of what we perceive of as a dramatic increase in the incidence of celiac disease is simply due to greater awareness and better detection methods? Celiac disease is not new. There is evidence from ancient writings that people suffered from it back then but they did not have a name for it. And it wasn't until WW2 that gluten was identified as the cause of celiac disease. Current thinking on what is causing imbalance in gut biology has put forth a number of causes including overuse of antibiotics and pesticides, environmental toxins, fluoridation of drinking water, preoccupation with hygiene and sanitation, and the western diet. https://www.celiac.com/celiac-disease/theories-on-the-growing-prevalence-of-celiac-disease-and-gluten-sensitivity-over-the-last-half-century-video-r6716/?tab=comments#comment-25345 All this to say that I doubt your UTI or the low dose aspirin had anything to do with the onset of your celiac disease. It was probably just coincidence unless the UTI was the stress trigger that activated the celiac potential genes. The onset of celiac disease an happen at any stage of life and many people report it following a period of illness. But what is interesting about your low dose aspirin theory is that aspirin is in a class of medications known as NSAIDs (Non Steroidal Anti Inflammatory Drugs). Scientific studies have shown that long term use of NSAIDs can damage the villous lining of the small bowel in the same way as celiac disease.  The other thing I wish to point out is that unless you have actual testing done for celiac disease, you can't be sure if you have celiac disease or NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity). They share many of the same symptoms, the difference being that NCGS doesn't damage the lining of the small bowel. There is no test for NCGS, celiac disease must first be ruled out. NCGS is 10x more common than celiac disease. The antidote for both is a gluten free diet.
    • julie falco
      BRAND NAME: NOT BURGER PLANT-BASED PATTIES  A product I came across labeled gluten-free bought it when I got home I read the back ingredients further to notice that it says gluten with a line going through it u will see in the attached pics.     The label says down below that it is processed in a facility that also processes "WHEAT".  I tried to put this on the Gov. website as false advertisement but couldn't do it.  Maybe on here at least the word can get out to others not to purchase anything gluten-free without throughly reading the whole label....It won't let me upload 2 pics.  says to contact manager.   The products name is Not Burger    INGREDIENTS: Water, Pea Protein, Coconut Oil, Sunflower Oil, Natural Flavors, Bamboo Fiber, Less than 2% of: Methylcellulose, Dried Yeast, Rice Protein, Salt, Cocoa Powder Processed with Alkali, Psyllium Husk, Potato Fiber, Red Beet Juice Powder (color), Chia Protein Concentrate, Spinach Powder.   Manufactured in a facility that also processes wheat and soy.          MANUFACTURED FOR: The NotCompany, Inc, 438    Treat Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94110.
    • jimmydee
      Let me start by saying that I am self- diagnosed Celiac. I didn't want to pay for tests, because I don't have health insurance and the doctor said I would HAVE to eat gluten for the tests and I am afraid it will kill me. I diagnosed myself by quitting dairy, sugar and gluten for a couple weeks and figured out the problem by process of elimination.  ANYWAYS.......here's why I blame "Aspirin low dose safety coated" for my Celiac Disease.  I started taking regular Aspirin for a couple weeks for back pain and decided to switch to low dose safety coated Aspirin because I thought a smaller dose was safer for regular use. Well about 3 days after starting low dose safety coated aspirin, I got a terrible UTI. I didn't know what to do (should have gone to doctor) I started taking cranberry pills and read Aspirin can cause UTIs, so stopped taking that. A week later, the UTI was getting worse but then my Dad gave me some probiotic pills and the next day I felt better, so I took those for a week and the UTI was gone. About a week later, I bought my family cake and pizza for a birthday party. I ate a whole bunch and there was some leftover the next day, so I ate a bunch again. Welp, that was my first Gluten attack. I was home alone and almost called an ambulance, my stomach was so full of gas I couldn't breathe, I was covered in sweat and thought I was having a heart attack.  Since quitting Gluten I haven't had the "gas attacks" or had the awful constipation that lasts 3 days. So I'm certain I'm Celiac and I absolutely blame low dose safety coated Aspirin, I think it's the time release binder that is the problem, because I was fine with regular aspirin, I was just breaking those into halves or quarters. Actually now that I think about it I may have even used the regular aspirin at other times in my life before that, just not the little low dose safety coated Aspirin, that's what I think caused it. What's weird is my Dad took the low dose safety coated Aspirin for years and years, for it's reported heart benefits, and he never got Celiac.  Anyways, I felt this was important to share, so they can find the cause of this disease, which seems to be affecting more people than ever before. At least Gluten Free Pizza exists, that's been my new staple food in my diet.         
    • knitty kitty
      Welcome to the forum, @Karen Chakerian, We need more information, please.   What homeopathic remedies or medications are you taking now?  Do you still have the blood pressure and other symptoms?  What is included in your diet currently?  Dairy? Oats?  Processed gluten free foods?  Vegetarian?  Other food allergies?  Do you take vitamins?  When gluten is removed from the diet, the body stops making the anti-gluten antibodies that are usually measured in blood tests used to diagnose Celiac disease.  To measure the anti-gluten antibodies, you would have to consume 10 grams of gluten (4-6 slices of bread or equivalent) per day for a minimum of 2 weeks or longer.   A DNA test which looks for the most common genes for Celiac Disease may be a less invasive avenue to pursue.  Has your doctor checked you for nutritional deficiencies? Glad you're here!
    • knitty kitty
      @SaiP, Insomnia is listed as one of the side effects of Loratadine.   Niacin B3 in the form Tryptophan, Pyridoxine B 6, Folate B 9, Cobalamine B12, Magnesium, and Thiamine B 1 are needed to produce the sleep hormone melatonin.  Insomnia can also be caused by low Vitamin D and low Vitamin A.   A strict gluten free diet can be low in essential  vitamins.   Gluten containing products are required to replace vitamins lost in processing and milling.  Gluten free processed foods are not required to have vitamins added.  White rice is not a good source of B vitamins.  Brown rice is little better.  Exposure to light (even grocery store lights) and heat (during transportation) can destroy B vitamins.   B vitamins are easily lost in urine and diarrhea because they are water soluble.  If you have had diarrhea longer than two weeks, you are probably low in B vitamins.  Fat based vitamins, like Vitamins D and A, can be low due to fat malabsorption in Celiac disease, too.   Damaged villa in Celiac Disease do not absorb B vitamins and fat based vitamins and minerals well.  Supplementing with essential nutrients while villi heal boosts the ability to absorb essential vitamins and minerals.  Vitamins are stored and utilized inside cells.  Blood levels are not accurate measurements of vitamin deficiencies.  You can have normal blood levels while having deficiencies inside cells.  The brain orders cells to release their stores so the brain and heart can keep functioning.  This results in normal blood levels, but vitamin deficits inside cells.   Your indulgence in a little bit of bread is providing some, but insufficient amounts, of vitamins needed to make sleep hormone melatonin while keeping your inflammation and histamine production high.   In addition to a B Complex, I took 1000 mg of tryptophan before bed to correct my insomnia caused by high histamine levels.  Correcting my Vitamin D level to between 75-100 nmol/ml helped as well.  Also Passion flower extract is helpful in falling asleep quickly.   Please stop eating gluten bread as this will keep your autoimmune response triggering and your antibody levels won't go down and your histamine levels will stay up as well.   Celiac is a marathon, not a sprint.  P.S. I wanted to reiterate that insomnia and weight loss are symptoms of Thiamine deficiency.  Benfotiamine is a form of thiamine that promotes intestinal healing.  Thiamine is water soluble and nontoxic even in high doses.  High doses are needed to correct thiamine deficiency. All mitochondria in cells utilize thiamine.  The World Health Organization says to take 500 - 1000 mg per day of thiamine and look for health improvement.  Diets that are high in carbohydrates like rice and gluten require more thiamine.  For every 1000 calories from carbohydrates, we need 500 mg more thiamine.  Thiamine is found in meat.  Few veggies contain thiamine. Can you rise from a squat without assistance?  This is the field test for thiamine deficiency used by WHO.  If you cannot rise easily from a squat you may be thiamine deficient.
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