The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

Yes . . . something is definately going around . . .

CDC Alert

The Centers for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

[Darn210]

Also computer virus info . . .

WARNING !!!!!!!!! ALERT!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU RECIEVE AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT LINE "NAKED PICTURES OF SARAH PALIN. DO NOT OPEN IT.

IT MAY CONTAIN A VIRUS

WARNING !!!!!!!! ALERT !!!!!!!!!!!

IF YOU RECIEVE AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT LINE " NAKED PICTURES OF HILLARY CLINTON. DO NOT OPEN IT.

IT MAY CONTAIN NAKED PICTURES OF HILLARY CLINTON.

[blueeyedmanda]

Well this silly has pink eye! I give up--My dr. thinks I got it from allergies which is nice, but I am still contagious for 24 hrs from the start of meds- which means no work until Friday....This might be hard. I have so much due!!!

[Judyin Philly]

omg........JANEEEEEEETTTTTTTTT IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!!!

JUDY

[Darn210]

Um, Janet is harassing me (and Weezee) on another thread :lol: (see the "my dog on petsugar" thread)

*snort*

That's what friends are for

[Green12]

Julie--what a pretty new av!

To add your caption, go to My Controls/Edit Profile/Custom Member Title. Type your caption in and be sure to hit amend my profile at the very bottom

Thanks Patti!!!!! It worked

Must go back to catch up!

[Darn210]

OK . . . a couple of highlights from my trip . . .

Four, forty-something, slightly plump women . . . The first day getting ready to go to the beach, two of us walk out wearing the exact same swimsuit!!!!

Found out going through security that my driver's license had expired about three months ago!!! Guess what I got to go do today??

I was quite popular on the beach. I had several people stop by to ask me about my Open Original Shared Link. However, at the end of the day, I was having a particularly hard time getting the "shade" part to collapse into the small sleeve it's suppose to fit in. Finally, a perfect stranger (who I had noticed had been watching) walked over and said "Gimme that"!! And quicker than you could say "Bartender, I'll have another", she had it all folded up. Then she just left . . . no joking around or chatting or anything . . . she was just tired of witnessing my incompetence.

Susie, I did not get to see your mailbox av!!!

[elye]

Ugh, Amanda. . . .sorry to hear ya got L'oiel Rose (sounds so much more exotic en Francais)..... Well, you're off work for a couple of days, so you can be in Sillyville constantly!

. . . ..Nekkid Hillary Clinton

Actually, I must say she looks pretty good fer what, late fifties?

Watch, someone is going to now tell me she's 32. . .. .......

Love yer av, Jooolie! What a view. . . . breathtaking....

I just realized this morning that this is the time of year in this part of the country when everyone suddenly smells like mothballs. It's autumn for real, here!

[elye]

I had several people stop by to ask me about my Open Original Shared Link.

Whoa!!! Does that guy come wif the chair??

[Darn210]

Whoa!!! Does that guy come wif the chair??

Ummmm . . . why yes he does!!! . . . howevah, you would have thought he would have known how to collapse the shade/screen!!! but no . . . just another pretty face!!

[Green12]

Welcome back Janet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loved yer virus info sillies

You guys have had some WACKY dreams!!

And pink eye is going around Sillyville??? Yikes!! Next thing you know we will all be ovulating at the same time, even Peter, Tom, and Ryan

Amanda, the Florida trip with yer mom sounds like a GREAT idea!! I hope you can find a cheap flight. I looked into airfare from here to New York and it was like $1000 What's up with that?? Well I know, but just saying

Walmart trumpeter

and Patti's doing the treadmill and such! Julie, too? Well, pholks, I have been faithfully working out at gym for over a month now also. Elliptical and heavy weights.......loving it.

TreadmillING (the act of engaging with the treadmill)..... a phun new word created right here in the ville!!

Sven is in da SILLY house!!!!! Bunnie is now working out, and Patti and Susie, me and Em, Amanda (...are you back to the walking?) Nikki of course goes slimming

There is a new thing that you can do to a friend, besides the now old "poke", "hug', "send a beer to"- - dunno if any of you have noticed it, but it would work very well here, Patti, for this old love. You can "bump and grind" with ________.

Do you remember him being the type who'd be receptive to bumping and grinding wif you?

EMILY!!!! I swear, you crack me up!!!! This made me laugh so hard.........and go check if there really is such a thing as bumping and grinding on the Book

this is a hand

this is a lamp

You might be surprised how often you need to use these phrases in a sentence

Another useless exercise in futility, aggravation & general d%$#@#$baggery.

He *really* doesn't listen well.

Not sure why we couldn't have done it over the phone.

Mostly just said some unknown non-cancerous thingy (1.8 x 1.5 x 2.6 cm) betw the pancreas & upper duodenum should get an MRI or MRCP.

Nothing about the intestinal ridge/lump that prompted the CT, except pointing to the sentence on the report that says nothing was seen there.

Guess I'll probably be keeping the appt at the Mayo Clinic (Phx) Nov 6th.

Me burgeoning silly's waned & vanished.. .. .

Oh, TOM!!!!! This post totally bummed me out, I am so sorry you didn't get much back from the Dr and your report.

Your appt at the Mayo Clinic sounds like a good plan. Keep trucking, you'll get to the bottom of this!

I did get in trouble once in 5th grade for writing on the side of the school building with a dandelion ..........don't laugh........after all, it was the late 60's.

Hee hee, yer such a rebel Lisa!!

Oh, Heathcliff!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE that book (one of my two faves!).

Mine too!!

I've decided this board is a subspace conduit of thought from one silly to another. I started working out the other day again, I've been limping ever since. My boyfriend had an eye issue three days ago. We had burgers the same night everybody else did.

However..... I LOVE musicals. I have to confess though, the reason I liked Moulin Rouge so much is cuz I think Ewan Mcgregor is super sexy, and I had no idea he could sing like that.

Bunnie

I LOVE Moulin Rouge, one of my top faves, and I LOVE Ewan McGregor. Have you seen A Life Less Ordinary? He's so phunny in it!!

Thank goodness!! I was beginning to think I was the only one!

You're not Patti, I love musicals too.

This is a totally de ja vu conversations, I think we discussed Chicago and Moulin Rouge before and drew lines in the sand on who liked/hated what......then we broke out into a song and dance turf war routine a la West Side Story

Pheeling silly today!!!!!!

BAH to SWEATERS!!!!.......... what yer need is A JUMPER

Nikki

[jerseyangel]

I think we discussed Chicago and Moulin Rouge before and drew lines in the sand on who liked/hated what......then we broke out into a song and dance turf war routine a la West Side Story

gawd!!

[jerseyangel]

Hey Jan-it--welcome back! Phunny travel stories!

The thread's been phine--Em's ruling wif an iron phist

Amanda--heinous pink eye Pheel better!

[elye]

That's right. . . . jumpers are worn in the UK in lieu of sweaters.

Do they also retain the smell of mothballs, then?

Janet! We DO hope that you will be posting an av of your Hilton Head experience. . . . hopefully a shot of you and your friend walking into the room at the same time, staring at each other's bathing suit.. . . . .

[curlyfries]

........ Vital information to consider: Are they both your left eyes?. . . . .....This means something. . .. I am certain . . . .....

Mine is my right eye......mirror image of Amanda.......but mine is not pinkeye...probably an ingrown eyebrow hair gone amuck!

I have a left eye thing going on too. (get it? the )

Anyways, the excema that has been gone for like 2 years is suddenly back I ain't happy

I saw you mention that on another thread. I used to have a dry skin-type rash on my right eyelid....can still kinda see where it was.

BAH to SWEATERS!!!!.......... what yer need is A JUMPER

OK.....WTH is a jumper?......cuz around here, it's a sleeveless dress with no waistline that requires a shirt...usually turtleneck...to be worn underneath it.

BTW.....I happen to like sweaters!.

And on a similar note...you know the knit winter caps people wear?.......my MIL calls that a toboggan. .........isn't that a sled?

[Judyin Philly]

loved the chair Janet and welcom back

Amanda and all "EYE" problemed sillies.......get better you hear me.

enjoyed all the chatter today

carry on

judy

[Darn210]

Yeah Nikki . . . we don't have room for horses jumpers. We have a spare bedroom and all . . . but I'm pretty sure it's against the Home Owners Association rules.

[DingoGirl]

IT MAY CONTAIN NAKED PICTURES OF HILLARY CLINTON.

*snort*

my mailbox? well, you get to see how completely HEINOUSLY sterile and manicured the grounds are, here. (at least, at Stepford\'s house) horrible typical, Central Valley idea of landscaping.......\'tis truly egregious. Always wondering if I should start some HUGE campaign to promote drought-resistant and native plants.......but very few care, here. Huge water crisis......you\'d think they would.....but no. Very odd place to live, this bloody Central Valley......I don\'t belong here, I\'ll tell you what.

Someday, I think I\'m moving to Charlotte. Or Atlanta. The South is where I belong, phriends.

Ummmm . . . why yes he does!!! . . . howevah, you would have thought he would have known how to collapse the shade/screen!!! but no . . . just another pretty face!!

Probably very busy wif his ballcock.

This is a totally de ja vu conversations, I think we discussed Chicago and Moulin Rouge before and drew lines in the sand on who liked/hated what......then we broke out into a song and dance turf war routine a la West Side Story

Pheeling silly today!!!!!!

Julie

I don\'t recall having to reminisce about the trauma of Moulin Rouge....... not sure we discussed it here, did we? I dingo\'d it......I DO remember discussing Chicago........ugh. Pure torture.

SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! some very disgusting things happened today!!!!!!!

Minding my business gardening, pulling weeds, etc.

First, I pick up the poop (annie\'s, not mine) to mow the lawn. Alas, I missed a pile of a particularly gooey sample (and loaded with nuts, BTW, from one of her binges). [NOTE: drastic measures have been enacted to reduce binging and, they have worked, I\'m pleased to say. Trash can is - GASP - outside the fence but hidden by shrubs. I\'m safe. ]

So, this poop was spread like frosting :gag: all over the bottom of me shoe, and then tracked all over the cement patio, before I was aware. :vomitface: They were quite old, I simply threw the shoes away as could not deal with the cleanup.

Second. I\'m weeding one of the beds, and I notice a slightly rancid odoUr, but ignore it, it\'s so slight and I think I\"m imagining things. Fifteen minutes pass, and I am using my NEKKID HAND and a small spade to dig up weeds.......I am within centimetREs of this pile of........what I thought was feathers at first but was not. my spade touches upon this.........this..........decayed pelt :vomit: OF A LONG-DEAD RAT. So, after discovering it and flicking aside this rat fur remant, there is a GIGANTIC PILE OF MILLIONS OF MAGGOTS.

:grossOUT: :barf: :horror: :revulsion:

And, they went VERY deep, as I dug with my spade..........oh my God. many inches below the surface. :wretchingalittleasIthinkaboutit:

By the way, spider spray does not kill maggots.

So then..........in another bed I am weeding, there is another rat, only FRESHLY DEAD, like, maybe it died yesterday? and I have to scoop it up in a shovel and put it in the trash.........that makes me REALLY SICK.......very hard for me to do. It had rigor mortis, quite a stiff, long tail, BTW.

I decided to put it in the bag with the scooped-up doggy poo, which meant, having to hold the bag open and maneuver the shovel with the other hand. I was CERTAIN taht that rat tail was goign to touch my hand, and shudder to think about it. So - put gloves on - and yes, the tail DID touch my gloved hand.

:vomitvomitvomitvomitvomitvomitface:

All in all, a disgusting gardening experience. Must be more careful and more watchful of dead rodents and nutty, soft, poo.

[Judyin Philly]

*snort*

All in all, a disgusting gardening experience. Must be more careful and more watchful of dead rodents and nutty, soft, poo.

ah the joys of gardening

sorry couldn't resist susie!

[elye]

NUTTY, SOFT POO CRIMES!!

These gardening experiences are grossing me out the door... . . ..

Sooozie! The rat tail touched your hand?? :gagme:

And on a similar note...you know the knit winter caps people wear?.......my MIL calls that a toboggan. .........isn't that a sled?

Um......yep. The knit hats are touques (pronounced "tooks").......

Someday, I think I\'m moving to Charlotte. Or Atlanta. The South is where I belong, phriends.

Um.. . .but aren't you already in the south, Sooozie? I guess most places are south when you're in Canada. . . . . . . .

[DingoGirl]

ah the joys of gardening

sorry couldn't resist susie!

I bet you are USED to rodents and critters, Judy, but, in the almost four years I've been here - NEVER seen a rat, squirrel, mouse - only snails and spiders - seriously! We live in a desert climate, and new community......no critters here. Teh rats are probably here now because they cut down three of the four orchards earlier this year. and the squirrels don't now the gate code.

NUTTY, SOFT POO CRIMES!!

:lol: :lol:

Poo crimes, all right, EGREGIOUS poo crimes!

[Jestgar]

Second. I\'m weeding one of the beds, and I notice a slightly rancid odoUr, but ignore it, it\'s so slight and I think I\"m imagining things. Fifteen minutes pass, and I am using my NEKKID HAND and a small spade to dig up weeds.......I am within centimetREs of this pile of........what I thought was feathers at first but was not. my spade touches upon this.........this..........decayed pelt :vomit: OF A LONG-DEAD RAT. So, after discovering it and flicking aside this rat fur remant, there is a GIGANTIC PILE OF MILLIONS OF MAGGOTS.

:grossOUT: :barf: :horror: :revulsion:

And, they went VERY deep, as I dug with my spade..........oh my God. many inches below the surface. :wretchingalittleasIthinkaboutit:

By the way, spider spray does not kill maggots.

So then..........in another bed I am weeding, there is another rat, only FRESHLY DEAD, like, maybe it died yesterday? and I have to scoop it up in a shovel and put it in the trash.........that makes me REALLY SICK.......very hard for me to do. It had rigor mortis, quite a stiff, long tail, BTW.

:lol: :lol:

My yard is full of dead things in various stages of decay. Also plenty of pup poop from the neighbour's dog.

[Mtndog]

Oh Spruezee- As my niece would say "That is SO disgusting!" Ew...I think I would have run screaming!!!!!!!! I don't mind LIVE rats but I do mind live maggots- BLECH!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome back Gianknit and her beach babe chair!!!!!!!!!! That guy, the one that came with the chair, did he serve you all drinks and foot massages? Sigh......

I just realized this morning that this is the time of year in this part of the country when everyone suddenly smells like mothballs. It's autumn for real, here!

[

Emily :lol:

Poo crimes, all right, EGREGIOUS poo crimes!

Gah! bah! I've got egregious human poo crimes thanks to that pharking protein know as gluten. I got glutaminated -bah!!!! POOPY COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although, I must say Annie's poo crimes sound worse as she binged. I didn't inhale swallow that much!

perhaps I Open Original Shared Link

[Mtndog]

Check this out:

Open Original Shared Link

[jerseyangel]

All in all, a disgusting gardening experience.

Oh Souczie--I would think so! I was thinking I could go for a little dessert, but after reading about your gardening adventures, maybe not......(no emoticon for this particular instance)