The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

But really - you pholks who live where it's ONE degree, or minus 10 (my cousin in Minneapolis yesterday) - how in hell do you LIVE in that? Drive, walk, get anywhere, function, leave the house?????

You guys are tough

Ummmmm . . . . . . we wear coats . . .

we need a picture!!!!!!!

We do NOT need a picture of Arnie doing his bizness !!!!. . . . . . or did you mean the bootie thang?? OK, yes, a pic of the bootie-thangs.

Got called from work to pick up son from school. Lots of stomach flu flying around the area. I think the nurse is sending home any kid that shows up in her office reguardless of what's going on . . . she sent 37 kids home yesterday. Oh well, didn't really want to stay at the preschool . . . two kids were sent home wif major poo crimes. Kids were barfing on Friday. Gah!!! What fun!!!

[flourgirl]

Kween Amanda is almost installed in the palace...with new chimney and NOOOOO radon! yippeee

Here goes the lyrics so far....but I need help:

Oom-pa-pa Oom-pa-pa

Weeding and mulching and warm summer showers

Birds in my back yard and gardens with flowers

Kittehs a-purring curled up on my knees

These are a few of my favorite things.

Gluten-free brownies and readable labels

Foods that are safe when I set at my table

Friends who come visit, the warm breath of spring

These are a few of my favorite things.

When I'm poopy, feeling droopy

When I'm down and sad

I try to remember my favorite things

Then I don't feel quite so bad

Wanna play with this? It needs more silly

[elye]

Wow, I somehow missed that post of Jess's regarding the Barf detergent. This is very interesting and SO telling for me -- that "barf" is the Farsi word for SNOW.

That is perfect. Barf. Exactly how I feel about this stuff. I need to start learning more Farsi. . . .sounds like my kinda language. . ..... ..

Yay on the house, Your Highness!!

Get your Crack On .......Joooooles!

Oh no, Elsie tackled the Christmas tree?!?! Of course you could blame the jester or the bugler, it does sound like something they would do

Ah! Never thought of that p!sstank jester - - it was likely him, staggering in, bells tinkling, dancing drunkenly around my living room. . . . ..

You guys, watch out for that jester at this time of year. . . ....ya let him in yer house for some holiday cheer, some laughs, toe-bell jingling. . . ....... and look what can happen. This time it was just an upended Christmas tree. Next time - - I could look out and see him floating lifeless in me ho' tub. . . . ..

[Darn210]

Ah! Never thought of that p!sstank jester - - it was likely him, staggering in, bells tinkling, dancing drunkenly around my living room. . . . ..

Yes, I can just see him trying to dance wif the Christmas tree!! . . .

Emily said *p!sstank*

Nice job wif yer song TreeSuh . . . yes, yer missing sumptin about tinsel-butted kittehs.

[JNBunnie1]

Sillies, I am so very tired. I think I might have a touch of the holiday dull drums, overwhelmed by too many things.....for one the Paella for Christmas Eve is a no-go. With our schedule of church and coming back and needing to eat right away it isn't the most practical of recipes, although I would LOVE to do it I really need something that can be made ahead and just warmed up. So back to the drawing board on the menu, and time is running out!!!

You could go to that website, the 365 gluten-free crockpot blog and find a recipe of hers. That lady is my hero. Then you could just put something in the crockpot earlier that day.

[Jestgar]

OK Bubble gummers. This'll have to do until I figure the Face thing out:

Open Original Shared Link

[jerseyangel]

OK Bubble gummers. This'll have to do until I figure the Face thing out:

Open Original Shared Link

There ought to be a law.......

[Mtndog]

Oh, I have missed so much...poor wee Arnie's feet and wee, Nikki's fabulush time, Em's beautiful av of Gus and his gal, SNOW IN SEATTLE , tinsel hanging from cat's butts.

Where have I been? Oh right, adopting kitteh for dad, company Christmas party at which I wanted to get fabulush with some margaritas (like a pepper-infused, watermelon puree one- we need a lick your lips emoticon) but could not, and the annual Christmas party at me in-laws yacht club (sounds MUCH fancier than it is). Santa arrives by lobster boat But me wee goonies came and I had so much fun with them. They are the luvs of me life (since I don't ever have to discipline them). I sang Christams carols and danced with me youngest niece Lucy who has the pinkest cheeks and bluest eyes and smiles constantly.

OK- here's a cute/phunny story. My dad could not remember hazel's name and since she looks like the feline version of Angus, he has renamed her........are you ready? ANGUS! We now have Angus the cat and Angus the dog :lol:

Ummmmm . . . . . . we wear coats . . .

Kween Amanda is almost installed in the palace...with new chimney and NOOOOO radon! yippeee

Here goes the lyrics so far....but I need help:

Oom-pa-pa Oom-pa-pa

Weeding and mulching and warm summer showers

Birds in my back yard and gardens with flowers

Kittehs a-purring curled up on my knees

These are a few of my favorite things.

Gluten-free brownies and readable labels

Foods that are safe when I set at my table

Friends who come visit, the warm breath of spring

These are a few of my favorite things.

When I'm poopy, feeling droopy

When I'm down and sad

I try to remember my favorite things

Then I don't feel quite so bad

Wanna play with this? It needs more silly

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK Bubble gummers. This'll have to do until I figure the Face thing out:

Open Original Shared Link

Jess- whatever are you talking about? MOO HOO AHH HAA HAA!!!!

[jerseyangel]

Al's xmas dinner at school tomorrow......... this means we have to cook him his own Turkey dinner (bought a small leg), gravy and mince pie to take in

......but I CANNOT have him eat his usual lunchbox stuff while the others have a xmas dinner can I?????

<would rather have forty winks with blankie than start cooking >

Such a good mum Yes, Al shall have a proper christmas dinner like the rest of the kids

Boozy liver crimes at a cozy pub!!!!!!!!!!!! FABULUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kinda says it all, now doesn't it?

Yes, I was surprised to read this, also......I never peel mine, either. . .. just cut the stalky end from each one. Soooozie, what do you do to make yours delish? Mine forever remain boring and barely tolerable to my kids. . . . ...

I boil mine till tender, drain well, and saute wif Smart Balance till golden and top wif crumbled bacon Takes the bitterness right outta 'em

Sillies, I am so very tired. I think I might have a touch of the holiday dull drums, overwhelmed by too many things.....for one the Paella for Christmas Eve is a no-go. With our schedule of church and coming back and needing to eat right away it isn't the most practical of recipes, although I would LOVE to do it I really need something that can be made ahead and just warmed up. So back to the drawing board on the menu, and time is running out!!!

Not the dreaded dull drums By all means Julie, make sumphin easy and do ahead-able. You need to enjoy Christmas Eve, too

Got called from work to pick up son from school.

Uh-oh What in the Sam Hill IS it about this time of year that viruses all seem to be at their peek????? Gawd!

[jerseyangel]

My dad could not remember hazel's name and since she looks like the feline version of Angus, he has renamed her........are you ready? ANGUS! We now have Angus the cat and Angus the dog :lol:

Well now, how cute is THAT?? Is Hazel now her middle name?

[elye]

Well. .. ...Sick chillens, sauteed sprouts, Angus², Santa on a lobster boat. . . . . ..

What in hell is the Face Thing, Jess? I wanna figger it out, too!

[Jestgar]

Those girls dedicated obnoxious songs to me on Spacebook through some torture posting device.

[curlyfries]

Lisa so sorry about your fall, what's the bruise looking like today..Michael Jackson the gloved and sequined years??

Actually, I think we're moving thru the animal kingdom. Either the ears are getting shorter yet, or the head is getting larger, as also is the black nose. Soooo.....now me thinks it is the head of a koala. Yes... definitely a koala.

I once had a wooden seat.....didn't have it long, the darn thing liked to pinch .

I had that one, too!!! The wood started to split and it became a tushie torture device

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.. .. .. . . . .STOP STOP STOP with the cheery snow chatter!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously!

Sparkly kittteh butts

Jess needs more Christmas songs!...hmmmmm......wonder what happened to my Reggae Christmas music tape

Poor Hazel/Angus....will she have an identity crisis?

......favorite things♫♪♪♫....must think on this

Gian-knit's wee ones learning Farsi for snow!

I boil my sprouts in water with chicken bouillon........also takes the bitter out.

[tom]

Hehe I remember tinsel-tailed kitteh-butt

(Family cat growing up)

Too much to comment on

Carry on Psillies!

[Jestgar]

I had that one, too!!! The wood started to split and it became a tushie torture device

Did we all shop in the same place for that seat

And I don't eat sprouts. Nasty little things

[curlyfries]

Sooooziiieeeee!!!!!!!

If you really want to enjoy this winter wonderland, come to my house pronto and scrape the ice off me windshield!

Such fun, I want to share

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies

We really can say that the snow outside looks wonderful, very festive all the trees are covered and the snow isn't too dirty yet....what is not wonderful....having to scrape that ice off the car when it is literally thick and everywhere....not fun!

So here we are at work again. I am not looking forward to another day.

[Jestgar]

Waitin' for my snow. Schools in the North are already closed (it's 5am), but I haven't seen a flake.

[nikki-uk]

Those girls dedicated obnoxious songs to me on Spacebook through some torture posting device.

Whaaaaat???????????

WHO would do such a thing

Hazel is now Angus²!!!!!!!!!!

GAHHH!!!!!!!!

No boiler man - no new or repaired boiler as yet ...they keep changing their minds on what to do......latest is the landlord (my local council) will NOT pay for new

Carry on debating fellas ....meanwhile we freeze

However the electrician has been to check the works (new smoke alarms)......had to pull me dishwasher out to get to summat (a pipe?)....oh the shame!!!,...the cobwebs and dirt behind there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waiting for another man to check summat else

However the 2 other things I was waiting in for have ARRIVED

Life (for me) is a waiting game

Oh, and Boris can't stop vomiting *sigh* ...sicky cat!!

How's everyone ?? (now I've finished moaning )

I keep dodging the doll drums....... but I want to give in

[elye]

Hey, all!

The Ripper is rippin' through all the newly fallen psnaough as I speak...makin' up fer the shifts he missed while across the pond. . .. ...

I must ask one of my Middle Eastern students if the Farsi word really is BARF. This is just too perfect for accuracy!

I have wooden toilet seats on all toilets . . .. lovely looking, and quite heavy. Don't believe there have ever been any weenis crimes with toddlers here (or drunken adult men). . . . must ask the menpholk 'round here. . .

How does everybody pheel about those horrid, ridiculous fuzzy toilet seat covers that match the bath mat? Um.... .. well, you know how I feel from that description . . . .

Mygawd. . . . ugly? And all they do is absorb the errant wee and dirt and hairs :gag: that permeate the toilet area . . . .... ....

[elye]

Waiting for another man to check summat else

Nik!!! The cavalcade of men in yer life. . . ....!!

What is up wif wee Boris? Cat vomit is child's play for me, a simple one-handed pick up/wipe with a paper towel, bit o' cleaning spray. .. . ...now large dog vomit: the real deal. Takes a few minutes.

Hope he is okay!

[Darn210]

And I don't eat sprouts. Nasty little things

Me neither . . . can't stand the smell.

What is up wif wee Boris? Cat vomit is child's play for me, a simple one-handed pick up/wipe with a paper towel, bit o' cleaning spray. .. . ...now large dog vomit: the real deal. Takes a few minutes.

Got Smack vomit here . . . no little swipe wif that one. Actually, it wasn't bad as he made it to the non-wooden-seated-toilet in time. Kiddos (actually just Skeeter as Smack is home for the day) have a two-hour delay for school due to the ICE . . . I don't mind snow too much (since we don't get that awful much) but ICE is a differnt story.

A funny from me mum:

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'

The operator said 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?' The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.' The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.'

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, I have good news, her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr.Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.'

The grandmother said, 'Thank you . That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.' The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?' The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me sh!t.'

True Story..........I believe it happened in Seattle <snort>

[Jestgar]

True Story..........I believe it happened in Seattle <snort>

:lol:

Was she packing a squirrel?

[flourgirl]

Oh, Nik Nik...how frustrating to wait so long for others to do sumphin, anithang, even if it's the wrong thang (hopefully not).

I agree that Kitteh barf is much easier than large dog barf. I once had a huge Dobie-Lab mix. A wonderful cuddly love who thought he was one of the cats...but that's another story. Anyway, I had bought a beautiful ORIENTAL CARPET (you know where this is going, don't you?) that I was so proud of! the colors, slate blue and cream, were perfect for my dining room. I felt guilty about the exorbitant amount of money I paid for it.....but I did love it. Anyway, I wandered into the dining room early one morning...and OMG!!! Somehow the dog managed to cover at least 75% of the rug. Whatever he'd eaten (I had kids in the house at the time, so your guess is as good as mine) stained the rug orange! I used carpet cleaner, I used laundry soap, I paid a professional rug cleaner. After all of that I still had the faintest tinge of orange......which we learned to ignore .

Fuzzy toilet covers!!!! I DO remember them! Complete with tank covers and matching (slippery) floor rugs! With all of that bulky-fuzz around the tank and seat...somehow the seat didn't want to stay up, and the slot for the handle always got in the way and made it a pain to flush. But it LOOKED nice....or so we thought at the time

[elye]

Fuzzy toilet covers!!!! I DO remember them! Complete with tank covers and matching (slippery) floor rugs! With all of that bulky-fuzz around the tank and seat...somehow the seat didn't want to stay up, and the slot for the handle always got in the way and made it a pain to flush. But it LOOKED nice....or so we thought at the time

Yup . ... I believe there are many who remain staunch toilet accessorizers - - 'tis quite amazing. All that heinous, tea-cozy-looking shag stuff to collect hairs, wee, etc.... . . ....

Janet. . . please tell me you have NO TOILET CLOTHES on the one poor Smack has been filling. . . .. . .