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What To Do When Everyone Is Ignorant/inconsiderate?

Drama-Queen

By Drama-Queen
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Drama-Queen Rookie
Drama-Queen
Posted

So I went to the Twin's game yesterday and afterwards my boyfriend and his family got the great idea to go to Baker's Square for pie....do I even need to say that it is a gluten-haven? Being nice I didn't say anything and went along with it. At the time I was extremely hungry. I had had breakfast but the game was long. I was at it from 12:00 to 5pm.

So we got to Baker's Square and ordered my beverage....water.....and the waitress came back and asked what I wanted to eat....I said no thanks.

So there I was at a booth with 5 other people...in between my boyfriend and his brother's girlfriend. So I sat there for the next hour watching him eat a brownie a la mode, and the girlfriend eat pumpkin pie. It was torture, and I was getting even hungrier. My boyfriend was well aware that I could not eat any of the food but didn't say anything when the parent's decided on a restaurant, because he is also too polite/nice.

What was the kicker though was that his mom asked "Why didn't you order anything?"

To this I replied "I have Celiac's disease."

She said "What's that?"

So then I had to explain that I can't eat gluten and what kinds of foods it was in.

What is so funny about this was that earlier in the summer before school started I spent a whole weekend (5 days) with my boyfriend's family up in Brainerd. So they accomodated my diet and cooked gluten free for me. I did manage to get glutened that weekend though because of cross-contamination.

Do some people just not have a memory? Do they just not take much interest in others? How hard should I kick my boyfriend in the shins for not saying something?

Peeved....yes. Super flaming angry mad....no. Concerned about my safety....definetely. :unsure:

BTW the Twins won the Division Title! (For those of you that don't like the Twins, don't leave nasty comments about this....that would be not about the point of my post.)

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CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

I always carry food with me so that I have something to eat in that kind of circumstance. With celiac you really have to plan out each meal, so on a day like that, where you are dependent on others, bring enough food for the day so that you're pleasantly surprised if they pick a place you can eat. You can't really kick your boyfriend ... you should have said something to him to remind him to speak up for you. Some people (his family) will never remember ... I have totally clueless people related to me!

Drama-Queen Rookie
Drama-Queen
Posted
  • Author

What are your favorite gluten-free items to bring with you? I am new at getting myself acclimated to this new diet. I bring snacks but that never is enough. What would you suggest?

I won't kick my boyfriend. I promise. :P

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

Well, right now I stick close to home because I'm on a diet to correct my adrenal fatigue that is waaayyy more strict than gluten-free .... but nuts, Lara Bars, Bumblebars, fruit, etc. is good, and I used to keep that kind of stuff in my purse at all times. If I were gone all day like you were, I would have actually packed a lunch -- gluten-free sandwich, corn torillas with meat and cheese, or something like that with chips, fruit, a bar, etc. Or just pack your favorite gluten-free snack. Last time we travelled, I brought along a box of gluten-free cereal and some Vance's Dari-Free powdered milk substitute (I can't have dairy, but the plus is you don't have to worry about refrigeration, just add water!) and ate cereal when everyone else was eating at a fast food place. I just brought it right in and ate it there (I dare them to tell me I can't! :P ). I'm always watching out for myself ... then if someone else looks out for me it's a pleasant surprise and a real gift from them!

Fortunately, big purses are coming back in style :D

Ruth52 Newbie
Ruth52
Posted

I know how frustrating it is when you aren't able to eat anything on the menu. I have noticed that our local bakery now has the 'token' gluten-free food - chocolate florentines and blueberry friands - not much but at least it's something.

I usually carry my own food. It's annoying and it's inconvenient, but it's safe.

Luckily my husband has learnt that it's a really good idea to cater for my dietary needs when we eat away from home! (I said that with a wry grin on my face).

happygirl Collaborator
happygirl
Posted

peanuts were always a good 'filler' for me if you are aren't allergic (I can't tolerate them now)

any and all fruits, veggies, etc in little bags

I know its not healthy...but I used to bring candy along all the time. Snickers, etc.

fritos, tort chips, gluten free crackers, etc.

surprisingly, there are lots of choices! like carla said, its more about the planning. Which is a pain, but, it'll prevent you from being starving.

Hope this helps!

Drama-Queen Rookie
Drama-Queen
Posted
  • Author

Thanks guys! Great suggestions! :)

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Guest Kathy Ann
Guest Kathy Ann
Posted

I have a really nice family. But even they have pulled some unbelievably inconsiderate stunts. I have sat many times hungry in a booth surrounded with people chowing down on wonderful stuff. You're not alone. They just aren't thinking.

All the suggestions here have helped me too. I need to completely change how I think when I go places. I need to come up with treats I REALLY like and make sure to have a big supply of them to take wherever I go. I might not be able to enjoy what they are all having, but at least I won't have to starve at the same time! :blink:

Looks like I'll have to get a bigger purse! :P

Drama-Queen Rookie
Drama-Queen
Posted
  • Author

Thrift Store large purse hunting here I come!!!!

And it will be vintage, and cheap too.....!!

Or I can just make one.....

(my creative mind is already working) :lol:

tarnalberry Community Regular
tarnalberry
Posted

I suggest a couple things:

1. bring backup food in a purse/pocket - you never know when you won't be able to find food

2. speak up for yourself and don't rely on others to do it for you

3. talk to the waitress/waiter/manager about what you can have - I'll bet they would have had a baked potato or plain steak they could have made for you.

Michi8 Contributor
Michi8
Posted
Do some people just not have a memory? Do they just not take much interest in others? How hard should I kick my boyfriend in the shins for not saying something?

Some people can't think beyond themselves, and really cannot even grasp being unable to eat something, especially if they have none of their own allergy/intolerance problems. Take my dad for example...I've had a peanut allergy since childhood, yet he would forget and bring home treats for the family that obviously had peanuts in them. Gosh he must have felt awful to see the hurt look on his little girl's face (and then he'd return to the store to get me something too.) :rolleyes:

Michelle

JenKuz Explorer
JenKuz
Posted
Thrift Store large purse hunting here I come!!!!

And it will be vintage, and cheap too.....!!

Or I can just make one.....

(my creative mind is already working) :lol:

Off topic, but check out www.craftster.org They have a thousand and one amazing bag patterns. And millions of other fantastic ideas for things to make. My user name is craft-matic, so watch for me :)

Or ebay "vintage airline bag" for some really cool large totes. Some are overpriced, but others are dirt cheap, thrift store prices. But that's coming from a girl in a sad, sad city where the thrift stores are worthless :(

Guest Kathy Ann
Guest Kathy Ann
Posted

How about designing a stylish purse with clever hidden lined pockets to house a small ice pack and lots and lots of zippers or velcro for all those snacks, condiments, etc. to stay put? I'm going to work on that! :)

Adelle Enthusiast
Adelle
Posted

I'm notorious for bringing food with me. Even before I discovered celiac. I always keep at least 1 "zone" bar with me. It tastes yummy and it tides me over till I can get actual food. I keep nonperishables stashed in my car, and usually have some fruit with me too. The local grocery store sells these instant nukeable thai food things, I stash them everywhere.

I'm also kind of a jerk, if someone wanted to go "out to eat" I would either say " well since I can't eat there, just drop me off at home and I'll eat there" or if they insist I'd say, "ok but let's find a phone book and call around to find a place that won't make me SICK". Usually they back off. Lol

And I have a big purse too :)

Guest melannen
Guest melannen
Posted
Off topic, but check out www.craftster.org They have a thousand and one amazing bag patterns. And millions of other fantastic ideas for things to make. My user name is craft-matic, so watch for me :)

Or ebay "vintage airline bag" for some really cool large totes. Some are overpriced, but others are dirt cheap, thrift store prices. But that's coming from a girl in a sad, sad city where the thrift stores are worthless :(

I just have to chime in and second the recommendation for craftster. I'm over there too (night_owl)!

ok, back on topic :)

I love dried cranberries and peanuts, always have some with me. I also love KIND fruit and nut bars (made by PeaceWorks); my favorite is coconut almond.

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