Diet So Isolating

[Marlene]

I don't know about you, but I find this diet can be so isolating. The girls from my office just went out for lunch and did not even bother to ask me if I wanted to go -- I probably wouldn't have been able to anyways since I think they are going for pizza. I just find that at social functions (which always seem to revolve around food) I end up having to eat something different from everyone else.

Even at home, I feel so isolated sometimes. I try to cook meals that we can eat together whenever possible, but a lot of times it just doesn't work out. Sometimes by the time I get my food ready, the family is half done their meal. They are not trying to be rude, but they might as well eat while their food is hot instead of waiting for me, right?

I could go on with more examples but I think you get the drift. Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas? Is this something that I am just going to have to learn to live with?

Thanks a lot,

Marlene

[StrongerToday]

I totally understand. We recently went on a family vacation which really went pretty well. Most days we went to places where I could get some great food. It was on the last day they went to an Irish pub (gee, thanks), ordered onion rings, passed the soda bread, had huge lunches, then went to a French bakery. Then at dinner they didn't want to go out, but I was starving - all I'd had was the "low carb" burger (no bun) and a side of brocolli! Then the next morning they ate croissants from the French bakery for breakfast and said "gee, sorry we can't offer you any".

At first I was p.o.'d they'd said that *again* then I realized I'd have been mad if they hadn't offered. Yes, finally I realized this is just the way it is and to get used to it.

We went to Margartiaville for lunch where I had called ahead and the chef came out and positively fawned over me, brought me fresh fruit, had a special desert for me... it was all great until my dad said (eating some of my desert) "gee, now we know how it is to live your diet". Yeah, don't think so!!

But it's all good, I'm the only one who came home who didn't gain weight on the trip

[melie]

I hear you, Marlene. This is something I'm still navigating. I feel that I have a large "FREAK" sign on my forehead when there's ever a social event revolving around food. I hate being different and hate the attention from being different, and answering all the same questions, seeing the same ''glad it's not me'' look in people's eyes.

Melie

[Jestgar]

I'm sorry you're feeling left out. At my work usually they ask, or they 'we're going out for Sushi, we assumed you wouldn't want to come'. And I'm fine with that. Sometimes I say 'let's go here', or 'I can't eat at that restaurant, how about this one?' And sometimes I email other friends and go out to lunch with people that care about me.

If it looks like they're going out, ask. If they say they're going for pizza, make some comment about it sounding like fun (and about how you'll probably skip lunch so you can leave at 3, if you can get away with that). Gently include yourself, even if you don't go with them.

[DingoGirl]

It feels even MORE isolating in the beginning.....but the longer you do it, it does get better. When I dine out, and I have been able to do it safely quite often, I will speak to the chef or kitchen manager privaely, and just very sweetly explain what the situation is. They have alwyas been wonderfully accommodating and I"ve never gotten glutened from eating out, except once in the beginning. I will usually order a piece of sauteed fish with vegetables, alwyas ask for a clean pan, just put butter/lemon salt and pepper in it.....butter and lemon on veggies. It's always been fine.

Dining out at tiny bistros is even easier. I have had many things there - - they usually use fresh, pure ingredients and if there's any question, I jsut don't bother. Had some very spicy scallops two weekends in a row at this fabulous little restaurant we have here - my dear friend happens to be a server there so gets me all the ingredients and brings bottles/containers to me if there's any question.

I would suggest finding places in which you feel comfortable and safe, establish a rapport, and go from there. But a pizza parlor - I don't think there's any way to eat anything in there - bring your own food and drink a glass of water....just not safe. You have to pick and choose your activities with this disease - - but I find most people, friends, family, restaurant staff, are really accommodating....

[gfpaperdoll]

Please give yourself a break at home and only cook one gluten free meal for the whole family!!!

[CMCM]

I think we all feel this way sometimes. But I've decided that as with most other things, people are generally thinking mostly only of themselves and tend to forget about the dietary limitations of others. It's just not forefront in their thoughts as it must be with us. SO.....I choose to think of this as mostly in my head, and I stop myself from being upset or offended most of the time. And actually, if you are inventive, most places have things we can eat. I got to the pizza place and eat salads from their salad bar. There are always people on diets who won't eat sugar, desserts etc. due to the diet, so this isn't all that different!

[DebbieInCanada]

  Marlene said:

..The girls from my office just went out for lunch and did not even bother to ask me if I wanted to go -- ...

For lunch at work - take initiative and control of the situation yourself. You dont' have to wait for someone to ditch you, or half-heartedly say "oh, I'm sure you don't want to come for pizza". Plan a lunch outing yourself. Ask one or 2 friends, choose a place that YOU can eat, and tell others you are going to restaurant X, and they are invited.

And at home - develop as many "everyone" meals as you can. I have very few double meals. If we do have gluten-free and non-gluten-free choices, it's for a part of the meal, but not the whole thing. For pasta - one pot of sauce, and then 2 pots of pasta is about the biggest effort I make! I make gluten-free Burgers, and then everyone else has a wheat bun, and I do gluten-free bun. Or, I make smoke sausage, and everyone else has perogies, and I have a microwave baked potato.

There are tons of meals that are "naturally" gluten-free, and very easy to make that way with small substitutions. (check out the baking forum!)

Hope that helps a bit.

Debbie