I Am Scared To Find Out If I Have Dh Or Not...

[starsweet]

Ok I'm going to make my history short... my skin would have a major breakout every few months or so starting back in 2001. Actually the first time I broke out, it was really small and the doctor (who may have been incompetent) said it was shingles which is weird since I was only 20 at the time and in college. So finally in 2005 or so I went to a integrative doctor who told me to immediately stop eating gluten and casein. I did and felt a bit better. I took an IgG blood test which said I had increased levels of IgG to eggs, milk, soy, wheat, and peanuts (roughly in that order... the highest was to eggs and lowest to peanuts). So I stopped eating all the stuff (including gluten, not just wheat) and my skin has been a ton better. I still have a few lesions but nothing like the major breakouts I used to have (and actually I don't experience any more major breakouts). I was reading about celiac and DH and my lesions look a lot like DH which really freaks me out. The only thing is they are not exactly symmetric and I don't get them in the typical places it says, I get it mostly on the arms, legs, sides/hips, and waist area. And when they heal they aren't purplish, more like brown but that may be due to my ethnicity (I'm from India). I have no GI symptoms and never have, even when I used to eat everything. I'm scared to death I have DH/celiac and the only way I'm surviving now mentally is to keep telling myself all this is not permanent, just some temporary intolerances because I can't bear to think that can't have pizza ever again. I have not had any tests done yet except a urine test for organic acids (since my doc initially thought I had candida yeast) which indicated no yeast but I do have high levels of some bad bacteria (poor gut flora). The test also said I had very low levels of B vitamins, low CoQ10, low alpha lipoic acid, and low neurotransmitters, basically I was low in nearly everything needed to produce energy (which makes sense since I still have no energy, even after my new diet-doctor said I have very poor carbohydrate metabolism and I am a poor methylator). Anyway, if I wanted to get a skin biopsy, can someone explain to me what I should so that the doctor does it properly? Does it hurt? Do I also have to have an intestinal biopsy? My doc gave me an order for a celiac panel through blood work, but is that the proper way to go or should I get a skin biopsy of the lesion first? I am not currently eating gluten except for a slice of pizza I had two weeks ago (ok I cheated).

Also can someone explain the iodine thing? If I put topical iodine on my skin then it should make my lesions worse, if i do have DH and therefore celiac? Do you put it on the lesion? Will this work if I have been gluten free for a while (other than that pizza)?

Also is DH sensitive to sunlight? If it always is, then I shouldn't have it because sun doesn't bother me at all. Does my skin thing even sound like DH at all? Oh if I do get a blister when it breaks the fluid looks like honey but I don't know if that matters or not since maybe a lot of types of eczema look like they have honeyed pus?

I'm just really hoping these are all temporary intolerances due to the bad bacteria in my gut. I am taking probiotics and have improved, but I still experienced tingling skin when I had that one slice of pizza.

Sorry so long... I really need some help.

Oh yeah, one more thing, I have had hair loss since I was 15 (starting around 1996 or so) and am losing a lot less now but is not growing back as I thought it would.

[RiceGuy]

Welcome to the board!

This is just my opinion of course, but to me it sounds like definite DH.

Iodine is used by the body in the repair of skin from cuts, infections, etc. That is why more iodine in the diet can lead to more of the rash. Salt is another thing that can make the rash worse, and from what I understand it doesn't have to be iodized for this to occur.

The good news is that you can look forward to recovery, and avoiding the rash outbreaks (for at least most of the time). Pizza can be made gluten-free, so it's not like you'd have to give it up completely, nor any other sort of stuff. Just about anything including cheeses and meats can be made with other things besides the traditional ingredients. It is true that specific ingredients may have to always be avoided, but recipe substitutions are common for those intolerant to gluten or other things like dairy. Also, many find dairy can be added back into the diet once the healing has progressed far enough. I don't know if the tests you had done is an indicator of a true intolerance, or simply a side effect of the gluten intolerance.

I'm certain other members will have a lot of helpful advice and information for you.

[starsweet]

I'm not sure though because I eat a ton of iodine since I eat a ton of seafood and haven't noticed any increase in DH. I only seem to have a major breakout if I eat any of those foods I mentioned for a longer period of time. Also is DH sun-sensitive?

Can I do my own simple test for now by applying iodine and how would I do it? Thanks for your reply.

[tarnalberry]

Iodine makes DH worse when you're eating gluten, because it is part of the process of binding up IgA deposits and leaving them under the skin (which case the itchiness and lesion).

It does sound like you could have gluten and DH, so either you need to commit to STAYING gluten free - permanently - or you need to go back on gluten f0r 3-4 months, and get the blood test and have the lesions biopsied. Being gluten free does not mean that you have to give up beer and pizza - there are a number of gluten-free beers available, and you can get or make gluten free pizza as well.

[starsweet]

Iodine makes DH worse when you're eating gluten, because it is part of the process of binding up IgA deposits and leaving them under the skin (which case the itchiness and lesion).

It does sound like you could have gluten and DH, so either you need to commit to STAYING gluten free - permanently - or you need to go back on gluten f0r 3-4 months, and get the blood test and have the lesions biopsied. Being gluten free does not mean that you have to give up beer and pizza - there are a number of gluten-free beers available, and you can get or make gluten free pizza as well.

I'd like to find out for sure if I have it or not. So does that mean I have to eat gluten for 3-4 months first, then get a skin biopsy? Do I really have to eat it that long?

No I really can't make gluten free pizza, because I have other intolerances as well and most of the gluten-free flour has other stuff like milk in it or it always has something I can't eat. I hate this. I don't drink beer anyway so that's not an issue.

[RiceGuy]

From what I've read, the skin biopsy must be done NEAR a rash spot, but NOT on it.

As for being able to make pizza, yes you can! I also cannot have dairy, along with a variety of other things including eggs, yeast, sugar, potato, tomato, and more. Yet I can still make pizza. I don't use a pre-made flour mix, and there's no need for milk or eggs in pizza dough anyway. If you want a pre-made mix though, one made by Open Original Shared Link may be suitable for you. There are non-dairy cheeses as well, one of which is made by Open Original Shared Link.

[gfp]

I'd like to find out for sure if I have it or not. So does that mean I have to eat gluten for 3-4 months first, then get a skin biopsy? Do I really have to eat it that long?

No I really can't make gluten free pizza, because I have other intolerances as well and most of the gluten-free flour has other stuff like milk in it or it always has something I can't eat. I hate this. I don't drink beer anyway so that's not an issue.

I think people are just trying to give you examples ... frankly you should be hoping you have DH... because its dead easy to cure ... no drugs or steroids etc. just a diet that starts off sounding hard and scary but really isn't.

Your other intolerances might or might not be independent of gluten....

Lots of people, me included react to other things when glutened. For instance I have a violent reaction to lavender when glutened and a lightly lower one to geraniums (which I found out are the same family), I get hay fever and react to dairy...

When I'm gluten-free these either dissapear or become almost trivial... so look positive... everything might actually be a lot easier than your expecting

[tarnalberry]

I'd like to find out for sure if I have it or not. So does that mean I have to eat gluten for 3-4 months first, then get a skin biopsy? Do I really have to eat it that long?

No I really can't make gluten free pizza, because I have other intolerances as well and most of the gluten-free flour has other stuff like milk in it or it always has something I can't eat. I hate this. I don't drink beer anyway so that's not an issue.

sorry on the beer bit - heh, it's early, and I misread "pizza" for "pizza and beer" (a common one around here).

you can still make gluten free pizza. a lot of us have other intolerances, especially milk. it might not be really really close to regular pizza, but something like it at least. tell us what your other intolerances are, and we'll probably be able to find something that works for you.

(gluten and dairy free alone is easy. egg free shouldn't be a problem for pizza, same with soy free and nut free. legume free should be a problem. corn free and rice free would be harder if it's also legume free, but not as much if they're independent. but there's still a couple things left to try in that case. yeast free would mean you'd have to go very thin crust, and it'd be different, but still kinda like it. there are plenty of flours - NOT MIXES - to pick from.)

[starsweet]

I think people are just trying to give you examples ... frankly you should be hoping you have DH... because its dead easy to cure ... no drugs or steroids etc. just a diet that starts off sounding hard and scary but really isn't.

Your other intolerances might or might not be independent of gluten....

Lots of people, me included react to other things when glutened. For instance I have a violent reaction to lavender when glutened and a lightly lower one to geraniums (which I found out are the same family), I get hay fever and react to dairy...

When I'm gluten-free these either dissapear or become almost trivial... so look positive... everything might actually be a lot easier than your expecting

I realize all of you are trying to help and I really appreciate that. The thing, I have been gluten free for almost 2 years (aside from the occasional cheating which is very minimal, like twice a year - remember, I haven't been diagnosed yet, nor has any doctor ever mentioned DH/celiac to me, and my doctor recently said to try eating some of my allergens again "just to see") and I STILL feel crappy - I have no energy. I also don't eat any of the other allergens I mentioned. I have experienced a huge improvement from before with my skin, BUT I am not 100 or even 95% better, energy-wise or mentally. Which is why I don't think it's celiac or maybe I am hoping it's not because this diet is horrendous. I am in grad school and literally have no social life. It's suffocating. I already make my own stuff at home but I dislike having to be so nonspontaneous all the time and be so reclusive. If I do end up having it though, I may move to NY after I graduate since I hear it is so celiac friendly.

So in order to tell for sure, should I do a skin biopsy or intestinal? Sorry I don't completely understand what I should do next (since I am already eating gluten-free). I am hoping to God these are all temporary intolerances due to the bad bacteria in my gut.

One more thing - does anyone know anything about 5-HTP and celiac? My doc prescribed 5-HTP for me as one of my supplements since I have a lack of neurotransmitters but when I read the warning labels for 5-HTP it says, "Do not take if you have IBS, Crohn's, Celiac..."

[starsweet]

One more thing, is the celiac panel from Quest Diagnostics an accurate test?

Open Original Shared Link

[RiceGuy]

Well, I haven't bothered to get any "official" diagnosis, nor do I plan to ever do so. The diet has told me all I need to know. But many do choose to obtain some sort of medical "proof". If that will help you then you should seek it. However, do not be surprised if it comes back negative no matter how much gluten you've been ingesting beforehand, or how horrible eating such things make you feel. The diet is after all the best test.

Anyway, to assist your digestive system in assimilating nutrients, I'd highly recommend a magnesium supplement. It has worked virtual wonders for me, and others here have also found it quite beneficial. Like yourself, I wasn't gaining much from the gluten-free diet until I began two supplements: a sublingual methylcobalamin (vitamin B12), and a powdered magnesium supplement.

Some time before learning about gluten, I did have the yeastie beasties (intestinal candida yeast). Abstaining from all yeasts and sugars, and taking caprylic acid capsules did the trick. Little did I know that gluten was the underlying issue, and I sure wish I had known. As much as you feel restricted by the gluten-free diet, it isn't anything compared to what will very likely happen if you ignore the problem.

Also, don't overlook skin/hair care products, as these often contain gluten. And the occasional "cheating" is truly a bad idea, no matter how small or infrequent.

[starsweet]

Well, I'd like to have the test because there is a huge difference between gluten intolerance (which can be temporary) and celiac. With gluten intolerance, I would be able eat it once in a while (not too often of course) and not feel too bad. With celiac, any gluten is a no-no. So yeah, I would really like to know for sure!

I have been taking both of the supplements you mentioned and do feel better but not totally. Also my organic acids test indicated an adenosylcobalamin deficiency (not methylcobalamin, which I have been taking because that's what I thought I needed) so I'm going to try the adenosylB12 and see how that works. For magnesium I am bathing in Epsom salts and it helps a lot. Which type of Mg are you using?

One more thing, with undiagnosed people who are celiac who still eat gluten, do have a pronounced weight loss? Thanks RiceGuy you've been very helpful.

[gfp]

starsweet: Im not sure gluten intolerance can be temporary ... rather wheat intolerance...this is expalined as best I can below.

weightloss (and gain) are not fixed... some people do one and others the other...

Non of the celiac/gluten tests will work unless you are eating it over an extended period. This is because it takes time for the body to develop the antibodies and then a while after that for the antibodies to actually reach a peak. This is largely the indifference between an allergy (IgE) reaction and intolerance which is IgA and IgG...

I have to say if you want something definitive then you are going to have to subject yourself to the "real" tests .. if you do your own iodine test I very much doubt that you will feel definitive about it... and you need to be eating gluten anyway for the binding to work so a biopsy would at this point at least give something more definitive...

What I really want to tell you is that you shouldn't be scared ..... please... we all come here and moan because everyone here understands and sympathises and often our friends and relatives don't BUT its really not that bad. When you say you have been gluten-free what we are all thinking is that you tried to be gluten free and most of us know from our own attempts that our first tries were more like gluten light., Its normal, the whole thing is a learning experience but almost all the old hands on here who are giving advice started out as confused and scared as you.

Funny thing, what I really miss is being able to go out for a good curry... but I still make my own at home at least once a week along with flat breads using only lentil and chick pea flours... if you saw my kitchen you'd laugh, I have a whole set of shelves full of spices and various parts of trees... we all have things we would miss but almost nothing is irreplacable.

The plus side is if you have been trying to be gluten-free your probably not.... like I say this is not a criticism, its what I did and most of the people here. Your post mentions not being mentally 100% and Im putting 2+2 together here and making 5 (well also your taking 5-HTP) so I am going to say when you get 100% gluten-free the depression justlifts after some time...

One day you just wake up and your goping about life and something happens that you think is going to make you feel aweful and it doesn't... suddenly that is the old you.

I'm sorry this is a bit personal but I can't think of any way to explain it otherswise except you are presently obviously depressed and this is blocking you seeing the positive side of this. This means you are goiung to have to put some trust in what we say...

Remember that pizza... I promise it won't seem such a big deal after you have managed to be completely gluten-free for a few months...

I realise its impossible for you to feel this now, you are just going to have to trust SOMEONE...

Lets look on this positively.... together.

Lets say for the sake of discussion you are depressed.

Lets say you can't see a positive way forwards....

Lets say you feel that you will always miss that pizza.

Lets take away the depression and suddenly non of that would matter. Normal people do this all the time.... Ive lived all round the world .. most of my colleages have at times missed sometihng from home, you name it... from bacon or peanut butter to crazy little things they fly half way round the world as treats. Its comjpletely normal but its only an issue to focus on if your depressed. The more depressed the more those "comfort foods" give us comfort...

I'm going to assume you like Indian cooking, frankly I don't know how anyone can't.... and 90% of it is naturally gluten-free.

If it turns out to be DH then the chance is most of your other intolerances are likely to either go away or become way less serious. Indeed these intolerances themselves might only be caused by your reaction to gluten. Life is likely to get simpler not harder because although you might avoid these other foods you don't need to avoid them like gluten...

In summary, you shouldnt worry ... if its DH then its likely that although its for life its completely controlable AND super bonus you also get free anti-depression. I realise its hard but look to the positive outlook.... look at the number of posts here from disbelievers about going 100% gluten-free and they post that they feel worse for a week or so then usually "is it worth it" then one day they come back and post and say "Wow" ...

[UNCHeel]

I recently read somewhere that 75% of seratonin which is your body's natural mood elevation is produced in your GI tract. Thus it does make sense that we all have some feeling of the glass feeling less empty since we are impacted so heavily. Getting the test done I promise will give you a sense of empowerment not just from finally knowing but from then utilizing the diet to tap in your body's own natural calming device. It has truly meant a world of difference to me.

[starsweet]

gfp, how long would I have to eat gluten for the tests to work? So even for the skin biopsy I would have to be eating it?

By the way, my first "attempt" has not been gluten light. Trust me, I know all about licking envelopes, gum, hidden sources, etc. I have been gluten free for nearly two years minus the occasional, I mean REAL occasional like 2-4 times a year cheating. Like I said, my doc never mentioned anything about celiac and she said I can try eating gluten and my other allergens once in a while just to see if I get a reaction. BUT, I didn't know that that difference between WHEAT intolerance and gluten intolerance that you said. Also, even though my IgG test said eggs, soy, milk, WHEAT, and peanuts, I am also avoiding gluten. The only others tested were shrimp, corn, and tomatoes, and all were negative.

So anyway my main point was that I have been allergen free for some time now and still feel crappy. And I still don't see a positive side, because I don't eat anything, I never go out (I'm a COLLEGE student), and worse, I still feel and look like crap! My hair is still falling and hasn't grown back the way I thought it would after cutting out all these allergens. Gosh just writing this is making me cry.

And I haven't taken 5-HTP yet. My doc JUST told me to start taking it based on my urine test. I just asked that question about 5-HTP/celiac because I see on the bottle it says NOT to take it if you are celiac, and I'm not sure what would happen if I do take it and if I'm celiac.

I do like Indian cooking but not 24/7/365.. same for Asian and Thai cooking. The main issue I see with all this is a lack of social life or a life for that matter. I don't like being abnormal. I HAVE experienced life gluten-free, SOY FREE, EGG FREE, etc... (and all the other hidden sources that go along with those foods) and it sucks. I want to die, seriously. I mean I can see this whole thing being positive IF I felt 100% better and my skin totally cleared up and I could shave my legs again and wear skirts again and if my scalp hair grew back and I had energy again. But it really sucks when you make so many sacrifices and you're still not how you used to be when you were healthy. Then you feel like, what the heck am I doing all this for?! The remedy is almost worse than the disease.

[gfp]

Sorry just back from a meal and pub so I'll answer tomorrow (promise)

[tarnalberry]

The main issue I see with all this is a lack of social life or a life for that matter. I don't like being abnormal. I HAVE experienced life gluten-free, SOY FREE, EGG FREE, etc... (and all the other hidden sources that go along with those foods) and it sucks. I want to die, seriously. I mean I can see this whole thing being positive IF I felt 100% better and my skin totally cleared up and I could shave my legs again and wear skirts again and if my scalp hair grew back and I had energy again. But it really sucks when you make so many sacrifices and you're still not how you used to be when you were healthy. Then you feel like, what the heck am I doing all this for?! The remedy is almost worse than the disease.

The gluten free diet does not in any way have to keep you from being social. You can separate socializing and eating into two separate activities, that happen to often be done together in our world. (Which, IMHO, isn't a good thing anyway and I try to combine socializing and active things like hiking, kayaking, bowling, skiing, etc.) It's all a matter of adaptation - not just the diet, but mentally as well. Many people here have all those intolerances (gluten, dairy, soy, egg), and more and many of them aren't old farts who've graduated college either. (Heck, you can have a social life outside of college too. Who says you stay home at night once you're out working and making money to support an active life outside of work? )

You're right that it sucks that you're not getting better - but do you feel *worse* when you're eating gluten? Either way, I hope you and your doctor continue to try to narrow down what the possible problems are and you can be on your way to feeling better soon.

As for needing to eat gluten, all of the tests - blood or skin - look for a reaction to gluten. That's what celiac disease and gluten intolerance are - reactions to the gluten. If you consume no gluten, you cannot react to gluten (can't react to something that isn't there), and hence there is no reaction for the doctors to observe. You need to be eating gluten - for blood tests - on the order of three slices of bread a day for three months. For a skin biopsy, it probably just needs to be enough for you to start breaking out in DH. Keep in mind, though, that you can have celiac without DH, even if you have other skin problems that look like DH.

[gfp]

tarnalberry has said what I was planning on saying....

Its not being gluten-free that prevents you socialising....

If you truly are 100% gluten-free, not sharing a kitchen and utensils with others then there may well be something overlooked.

However you really got to make sure its not some CC... when I first tried to go gluten-free I bought a lot of tortilla chips (plain) ... and i was completely frustrated... I couldn't work out why I was still getting ill and felt like crap.

The chips were labelled corn, salt & oil.... I eventually gave them up and then a while later the same brand had a label saying they were made on the same production line as gluten.

I honestly convinced myself it couldn't be these chips... but I am now fairly certain it was (and also some medications, indeed one of my natural but prescribed medications for depression)

[FGFP]

Ok I'm going to make my history short... my skin would have a major breakout every few months or so starting back in 2001. Actually the first time I broke out, it was really small and the doctor (who may have been incompetent) said it was shingles which is weird since I was only 20 at the time and in college. So finally in 2005 or so I went to a integrative doctor who told me to immediately stop eating gluten and casein. I did and felt a bit better. I took an IgG blood test which said I had increased levels of IgG to eggs, milk, soy, wheat, and peanuts (roughly in that order... the highest was to eggs and lowest to peanuts). So I stopped eating all the stuff (including gluten, not just wheat) and my skin has been a ton better. I still have a few lesions but nothing like the major breakouts I used to have (and actually I don't experience any more major breakouts). I was reading about celiac and DH and my lesions look a lot like DH which really freaks me out. The only thing is they are not exactly symmetric and I don't get them in the typical places it says, I get it mostly on the arms, legs, sides/hips, and waist area. And when they heal they aren't purplish, more like brown but that may be due to my ethnicity (I'm from India). I have no GI symptoms and never have, even when I used to eat everything. I'm scared to death I have DH/celiac and the only way I'm surviving now mentally is to keep telling myself all this is not permanent, just some temporary intolerances because I can't bear to think that can't have pizza ever again. I have not had any tests done yet except a urine test for organic acids (since my doc initially thought I had candida yeast) which indicated no yeast but I do have high levels of some bad bacteria (poor gut flora). The test also said I had very low levels of B vitamins, low CoQ10, low alpha lipoic acid, and low neurotransmitters, basically I was low in nearly everything needed to produce energy (which makes sense since I still have no energy, even after my new diet-doctor said I have very poor carbohydrate metabolism and I am a poor methylator). Anyway, if I wanted to get a skin biopsy, can someone explain to me what I should so that the doctor does it properly? Does it hurt? Do I also have to have an intestinal biopsy? My doc gave me an order for a celiac panel through blood work, but is that the proper way to go or should I get a skin biopsy of the lesion first? I am not currently eating gluten except for a slice of pizza I had two weeks ago (ok I cheated).

Also can someone explain the iodine thing? If I put topical iodine on my skin then it should make my lesions worse, if i do have DH and therefore celiac? Do you put it on the lesion? Will this work if I have been gluten free for a while (other than that pizza)?

Also is DH sensitive to sunlight? If it always is, then I shouldn't have it because sun doesn't bother me at all. Does my skin thing even sound like DH at all? Oh if I do get a blister when it breaks the fluid looks like honey but I don't know if that matters or not since maybe a lot of types of eczema look like they have honeyed pus?

I'm just really hoping these are all temporary intolerances due to the bad bacteria in my gut. I am taking probiotics and have improved, but I still experienced tingling skin when I had that one slice of pizza.

Sorry so long... I really need some help.

Oh yeah, one more thing, I have had hair loss since I was 15 (starting around 1996 or so) and am losing a lot less now but is not growing back as I thought it would.

I have had DH for about 30 years. I was also diagnosed with allergy to iodine. I didn't know at the time I had celiac and only found that out by accident 5 years ago. My outbreaks mostly start first on my elbows and knees, but they can be anywhere and I mean anywhere. The sunlight actually is good for DH. It helps to dry up the areas. I have really never noticed what color the fluid is like, guess I will notice next time. I just know they itch like crazy and I keep them popped so they can dry out. I also use an antibiotic cream to help keep it from getting infected. I had a biopsy and I don't remember any pain. They gave me a deading shot. They took an actual blister and it left a big enough spot to need a stitch. Personally I would reather know than wonder do I or don't I.

[jesse]

yeah my .02 is that you shouldn't give up.

i have been gluten free for 2 1/2 years and i'm still learning things, one thing i can be certain of is "its better to be living than dead".... thats no joke you were saying before so dont treat it like one.

i have had my ups and downs w/ gluten free life and i know as well as you that it is hard, but remember its like davy jones said on the pirates of the carribean "life is cruel".

sorry if im doing a bad job of cheering you up here...

anyways, keep w/ it, my intentions are to go to chicago to the same place my sister went and get a biopsy, though i live in pittsburgh and work all the time so its tough for me too.

one thing i would suggest is that you cut the amount of salt that you take in. i have done this now for about the past 3-4 weeks and have had excellent results in my opinion. i used to have acne like sores around my lips/mouth area and that has cleared up dramatically, i mean night and day. also, on my chest the same has happened for me too, and that is a great relief as well. the only place that i get any kind of acne/dh is on my shoulders and upper back though that has got better as well i guess. yeah id say so to that....

the main thing i have avoided is table salt and i stopped eating sunkist almonds at work (not to single out one brand, but they do seem to have salt on them). i heard from another board member here that iodine can be bad, so i just kinda pass on that stuff, plus i bet my blood pressure is getting some relief from that too now!

another thing i stopped using in this time frame is dial gel soap(sorry for singling out a brand again, but its the truth; this is the one that you need a sponge like thing to use, not sure if you know what i mean). this i believe to be a main contributor to the dh/acne clearing up on my body; i had started using an orange bar of zest, and im now using a white bar of ivory. granted, i still have some flare ups, but nothing like before and i believe this will only get me better....

as for sociality, last night i went out w/ my buddies after work in the mid spring/winter of pittsburghs soutside. i did this borrowing my one buddies shorts at work and my blue dickies shirt w/ the carhart top (this wasnt too intelligent considering it was snowing) and shoes obviously. my buddies were all dressed up as pirates and we did the "Pirate Bar Crawl", it lasted till about three in the morn. and was intense; i know if you look for stuff on myspace that you will find picks of us somewhere. i had the green bendanna. you know what the point here is though, i didnt have crap on my face for once and had enough confidence to go out and be sociable, i hope i can pass that luck on to you....

anyways, cheer up. life is indeed not over and the one thing it seems you desire very highly, pizza, is still attainable. i see that stuff everytime i go to work at my second job, and it is extremely tempting too, but i say no. its funny, the running line about celiac's, all our life were told "dont drink, dont smoke, dont do drugs. then one day were told dont eat bread or anything w/ wheat in it, plus other things too"; life is cruel indeed....

peace,

jdog