It's Hitting Me...

[bakinghomesteader]

Well, it is hitting me that this sucks. I bummed out today, feeling kinda depressed a bit. Just thinking of all we have to give up. I LOVE fairs and LOVE the food (the only time of year I eat like that) I will miss funnel cakes, fried snickers, dippin dots, etc. My husband wants me to say I was wrong and it's all in my head and go back to normal. BUT, I feel so much better physically without gluten. He thinks I'm overreacting to making his bread and saying I feel bad afterward. "You never said anything before when you baked bread about feeling bad" Well, that's cuz I always felt bad, baking or not. He doesn't like for me to talk about it. I think he thinks it's nonsense in a way. We have a cookout to go to and he is worried that I will draw too much attention to myself because I probably won't be able to eat much. But, I said I will bring some things to the bbq and that it will be fine. He is just needing time to get used to it too I guess.

I don't know. Maybe I am worrying about it too much. I feel like a basketcase at times looking at labels, asking questions, deciding what and what not to cook. It would be easier to just feel bad. BUT I DON'T WANT TO FEEL BAD. So, I will continue on with my gluten free life and maybe I will get the hang of it and it will seem "normal" soon.

Thanks for letting me vent a little.

Feeling the weight on the world on my shoulders,

Bakinghomesteader

[gfmolly]

This is a really hard thing to transition into, I really feel for you right now. Getting healthy is your number one priority and seeking out support such as in this forum will really help you through this. It sounds as if your husband is taking this personally. Maybe you can explain to him that you need support right now and that is most important role he can play at this point. As you start feeling bettter, that will be proof of how gluten free is helping you.

If you can spend some time perusing this forum, you will learn alot about good substitutes and things you can eat with little work. When I first started this a month ago, I just ate naked food....plain meat, veggies, fruits, rice, potatoes. That was really stabilizing and helpful to just get my bearings. There are alot of lists in this forum and other places of mainstream foods that are gluten-free.

As for the cookout, bring your own food! People are really understanding about this. I've found just saying that I have food allergies, even though that is technically not accurate, people understand and then I haven't made a big deal out of things and drawn attention to myself.

I hope that you can feel less overwhelmed as you are armed with knowledge.

Big hugs,

Terri

[EBsMom]

I'm so sorry! I had a similar feeling last weekend - just wanted to cry, felt like I was weighted down, felt alone because family isn't being very supportive. My daughter (9, like your son, and also homeschooled) is the one that I first suspected of having gluten intolerance/celiac disease. She was having HORRIBLE reflux and gas, both of which seem to be clearing up without gluten (or casein, for now) in her diet. I went gluten-free to support my daughter, and lo and behold, I feel better than I have in a long time....so I guess I may be on that intolerance spectrum with her. A friend (who has 2 children with celiac disease) told me that my attitude would go a long way toward determining how my daughter adapted to the diet, so I've been very positive, upbeat, encouraging. Last weekend it all hit me, though, just as you described. I'm happy to report that after indulging in some self-pity (a rarity for me) I feel a lot better now. I'm assuming that there's a grieving process that goes along with giving up things (foods, customs) that have been a part of your life for so long.

I'm also not getting a lot of support from my husband (he just doesn't want to believe it) or my in-laws. In an odd way, that has steeled me to model a more optimistic view of this new lifestyle. I guess I have a little of the rebel in me - I love to prove the skeptics wrong! Anyway....hang in there! Only you know how much better you feel off the gluten, and that's what you need to cling to, IMO. Good luck to you!

Rho (in NY)

[Babygirl6915]

I also feel your pain. My boyfriend was not very supportive either in the beginning of all this but now that he sees how much better I am feeling & how I am rarely in a bad mood anymore he is supportive. Once you start physically feeling better this will all feel a little less overwhelming. I am not saying there wont be times when it is all you can do not to eat a giant piece of cake with everyone else but overall it does get easier.

[Karen B.]

Well, it is hitting me that this sucks. I bummed out today, feeling kinda depressed a bit. Just thinking of all we have to give up. I LOVE fairs and LOVE the food (the only time of year I eat like that) I will miss funnel cakes, fried snickers, dippin dots, etc. My husband wants me to say I was wrong and it's all in my head and go back to normal. BUT, I feel so much better physically without gluten. He thinks I'm overreacting to making his bread and saying I feel bad afterward. "You never said anything before when you baked bread about feeling bad" Well, that's cuz I always felt bad, baking or not. He doesn't like for me to talk about it. I think he thinks it's nonsense in a way. We have a cookout to go to and he is worried that I will draw too much attention to myself because I probably won't be able to eat much. But, I said I will bring some things to the bbq and that it will be fine. He is just needing time to get used to it too I guess.

I don't know. Maybe I am worrying about it too much. I feel like a basketcase at times looking at labels, asking questions, deciding what and what not to cook. It would be easier to just feel bad. BUT I DON'T WANT TO FEEL BAD. So, I will continue on with my gluten free life and maybe I will get the hang of it and it will seem "normal" soon.

Thanks for letting me vent a little.

Feeling the weight on the world on my shoulders,

Bakinghomesteader

If you can find a local Celiac Support group and get your hubby to go to a meeting with you, it might make a difference. He'll see a room full of people that take it very seriously and he'll probably meet a few that have experienced what it is like to not be diagnosed early. And it might give him a chance to speak with some spouses that have had experience in supporting their Celiac partner.

I feel very lucky that I was diagnosed before permenant damage was done such as osteoporosis or tripping off one of the related immune disorders. And the positive approach to life that we encountered at our local Celiac group helped "set the tone" for dealing with the issue. I refuse to call Celiac a "problem" because, for me, it was actually the solution to quite a few health issues. IMO, it's better to follow a gluten-free diet than take pills with unknown side effects and cheaper too.

United States of America: Celiac Disease Support Groups and Organizations:

https://www.celiac.com/st_main.html?p_catid...-46107329217.b1

[lovegrov]

You can have most flavors of Dippin Dots. The big turkey legs are usually OK. Same with popcorn, cotton candy (always OK as far as I know), many ice creams, candy apples, and many drinks.

richard

[blueeyedmanda]

Believe I understand how you feel, and I know everyone else has been there at some point. I too love the fairs/carnivals. Every year when we go to the beach, I had to give up Mack's pizza in Wildwood and that is the best pizza. Aww the funnel cakes too.

It is a rough time, and even though you feel so much better there are times you just wish you could eat things.

[angel-jd1]

You can have most flavors of Dippin Dots. The big turkey legs are usually OK. Same with popcorn, cotton candy (always OK as far as I know), many ice creams, candy apples, and many drinks.

richard

Richard is correct. Most dippin dots flavors are fine except the obvious ones like cookies and cream. Check out their website they have lots of good info on it. Cotton candy is a good option. I know it is hard right now, but try to look at the things you CAN have instead of what you can't. It helps

As far as the hubby goes, I think that family members also have an adjustment period that they go through. Many folks on the board talk about their family members having a hard time too. Give him some time and hopefully he will come around and realize this is what you have to do to be healthy and be a good wife. You can't do those things when you are sick!!

Things DO get easier. We all have that "mourning period" that we go through. Thinking of all the things we can't have and wishing we could. I remember throwing a HUGE fit at my parents house because they ordered pizza when I was there and I couldn't have it. Now something like that doesn't bother me.

Hang in there and post when you need some help. There are tons of nice and kind people here to help get you through this. We understand even when your family might not

-Jessica

[Derek Borckmann]

I also feel your pain. I live in Wisconsin and we have the largest music festival in the country called Summerfest coming up. It is a great place to eat lots of food and drink lots of beer and not think about your worries. We find a babysitter each year and go there to pretend we are 21 again.

This year though I will not be going because there is nothing there for me any longer. Festivals, cookouts, camping are all areas where the feeling of loss exists.

It must be that the depression we feel is not just chemical but a feeling of such loss.

We all need to find new things in life that bring us joy given our situations.

We should all be stronger at some point as adversity makes one grow stronger and we are all dealing with plenty of it.

Others I have talked indicated that they have felt better than the ever have after a point in time. I so look forward to that point. Has anybody here reached that point yet?

[UR Groovy]

I don't know. Maybe I am worrying about it too much. I feel like a basketcase at times looking at labels, asking questions, deciding what and what not to cook. It would be easier to just feel bad. BUT I DON'T WANT TO FEEL BAD. So, I will continue on with my gluten free life and maybe I will get the hang of it and it will seem "normal" soon.

Thanks for letting me vent a little.

Feeling the weight on the world on my shoulders,

Bakinghomesteader

I think most of us go through this. I did. It's a lifestyle change that isn't something that the "general public" goes through. The label thing, the eating thing, the people that don't understand, and for me, my head got so cluttered up with a world that I didn't even know existed. I understand when you say it would be easier to just feel bad. I've wondered about this myself - lots of times, but now, I'm really on the side of the fence that it wouldn't be easier. Those few days that I have cramping and other unpleasant things, I remember feeling that way all the time before. I think it's a rather difficult adjustment, because you're dealing with everyday stuff (what to eat? how will I find the time?), giving up some of your favorite foods, emotions (will I adjust to this, and will the people in my life adjust?), occasional doubt (could it really be wheat gluten?), the learning curve (it's a lot to take in), the way you feel health-wise, and the changes there, and you've gotta expect some surprises along the way. It's a lot to take in. I think you just have to go through this part to get to the next - whatever that may be.

Take care bakinghomesteader,

fajitas

I'm 7 months in.

[bakinghomesteader]

Thank you all so much. You have helped me get through this day. I am so glad this forum is here. My husband called at lunch to see how I was feeling. He so much wants me to feel good. Like you all said, I think he needs to adjust too. He is one to worry about what everyone thinks, are we inconveniencing anyone? etc.

Part of it for him, too, is that all our married friends just rave about my baked goods. I want to steer away from making them (gluten ones) right now, but he wants people to envy his wife. It makes me want to make the BEST gluten free baked goods and see if they like those too. I know, it's not right to want someone to covet your cooking Maybe I should take it as a humbling from God and not worry what others think.

I have alot to think about. This lifestyle change is hard for me right now. I will try to think of the wonderfullness I feel now being gluten free.

Also, thank you sooo much for letting me know that there is still some fair food I CAN have. Thank you for helping me think of the good things and not just the bad. As for turkey legs, what if they have seasoning on them? I know, I know, just ask them.

Bless you all for being there for other people through this, sharing your experience to help others.

Many blessings,

Bakinghomesteader

[DarkIvy]

Thank you all so much. You have helped me get through this day. I am so glad this forum is here. My husband called at lunch to see how I was feeling. He so much wants me to feel good. Like you all said, I think he needs to adjust too. He is one to worry about what everyone thinks, are we inconveniencing anyone? etc.

Part of it for him, too, is that all our married friends just rave about my baked goods. I want to steer away from making them (gluten ones) right now, but he wants people to envy his wife. It makes me want to make the BEST gluten free baked goods and see if they like those too. I know, it's not right to want someone to covet your cooking Maybe I should take it as a humbling from God and not worry what others think.

I have alot to think about. This lifestyle change is hard for me right now. I will try to think of the wonderfullness I feel now being gluten free.

Also, thank you sooo much for letting me know that there is still some fair food I CAN have. Thank you for helping me think of the good things and not just the bad. As for turkey legs, what if they have seasoning on them? I know, I know, just ask them.

Bless you all for being there for other people through this, sharing your experience to help others.

Many blessings,

Bakinghomesteader

I think this is probably the hardest part of having celiac... there's so much to learn and change within your life that it can be really overwhelming. The best thing you can do for yourself is ask lots of questions about the food your eating, but that can be SO hard at first. When I first went gluten free, it was easier to go to restaurants than eat in my school's dorm. At first I felt very embarassed asking lots of questions and grilling my server over if there was wheat in x and y items. I'm usually pretty easy going and I'm not one to complain about food that I get at restaurants, so it was REALLY hard for me to have to tell the staff to make me a new dish because they had put bread on the plate.

When I first started this, my boyfriend was really skeptical. He kept questioning me and one time when I was crying in Whole Foods over not being able to find something to eat, he snapped that I "probably don't even HAVE celiac!" Like your husband, he often wondered why I didn't "seem" to be in any pain prior to finding out about celiac. I was lucky that it didn't take him long to figure it out and learn that it is a big deal. He started to notice how much better I was feeling and in the meantime, the more I talked to him about celiac, the more he learned as well. It's important that in this situation you can be calm and rational with him, but explain that you need support. It's also important for HIM to start learning about this condition so that he can understand what you're going through and what you need. The way I did this was doing lots of research and telling him about everything I'd learned. I still do this, it really seems to help. He too was really skeptical about my not "having symptoms", but when I explained that I'd always had diarrhea but didn't say anything about it to anyone because it was gross/embarassing, and that it went away when I was gluten free, he started to understand. He also knows that I'd been sick the entire school year and no one really knew why... but going gluten free made it better. It's taken two months to get to this point with him... like others have said, the people around you will also need to go through an "adjustment" period.

I really like baking, too. It's been really sad to give up my old ways of baking and have to start from scratch. You can still bake, though. There are actually quite a few gluten-free baking books out there with lots of gluten-free baking advice. I recently checked out a few of these books from the local library. It may take some time to figure this out, too, but I wouldn't not give up on something like this over celiac. I've had some gluten-free baked goods that tasted better than the wheat flour versions, so there's a lot of room for creativity

[tarnalberry]

I have always thought, comparatively speaking, I transitioned to being gluten free pretty painlessly. I found adapting to be pretty easy, didn't care much about other people 'looking at me' (oh noes! ha!), didn't care about people trying to correct me, liked talking about it, liked trying to adapt around it. But I still went through the same thing. To some extent, we all do.

There's nothing wrong with taking pride in something you do well (as long as it doesn't go to your head), and if baking's one of those things... well then it's time to get good at gluten free baking. (My coworkers *love* my muffins.)

But I also think that this condition reminds you that no one else will think about whether or not YOU are being inconvenienced but yourself. "Am I inconveniencing others?" is a question asked through your own filter. People say to me "I didn't want to show up an hour late and inconvenience you, so I called to say that I wouldn't show up at all." Well, guess what - it's more of an inconvenience to not come at all than come an hour late for me. Or people will say "I didn't want to inconvenience you, so I brought my own food." Well, now I have to watch for contamination like a hawk - I'm more inconvenienced by that. Or people will say "I'll make the reservations, I don't want to inconvenience you when you're busy." Well, when they get back to me with only a very short time of warning, I'm more inconvenienced. It's not that they did anything wrong; it's that what they see as an inconvenience and what I see as an inconvenience are two different things. Neither of us is right or wrong - we're just different. (Which is why those inconveniences don't actually make me upset. The other people are just trying to do what they think is happiest.)

Selfish is not always bad.

[DestinyLeah]

Now you can enjoy the fair without clogging your arteries or feeling as tired and puffy as I am sure you did after a few hour every time before.

And you can't ignore this diet and just 'feel bad'. If you do not take care of yourself and stay gluten free, and you just ignore the guidelines, you will invariably die of complications, whether they seem related or not. Your cancer risk jumps, auto immune disorders abound, and you could wind up with life-threatening primary reactions such as malnutrition or blood or intestinal infections. This is serious, and the people around you need to realize that. You can and should eat gluten free, regardless of how other people may react. Your health and happiness are at stake, and they are too high a price to pay for a piece of bread.

[chrissy]

we still do alot of baking at our house. my twins didn't bake much before they were gluten free, but they have gotten pretty good at it, now.

i recently made sweet rolls with cream cheese frosting , and fruited cheese danish. they were both really good. we've made some great apple pies with excellent crusts.

if you were already a great baker----you will continue to be a great baker. roben ryberg's book "the gluten free kitchen" has some recipes in it that cook up really well.

[cyberprof]

Try the Gluten Free Goddess's blog. She has the most amazing recipes. Her gluten-free brownies and coconut-carrot cake are to die for and both my (gluten-eating) teenagers said that they were the best they'd ever had, including gluten recipes!

I too love to cook and am finding it quite easy. Although I'm still working on pizza and haven't attempted bread yet (to help lose weight!).

Good luck to you!

~Laura

Well, it is hitting me that this sucks. I bummed out today, feeling kinda depressed a bit. Just thinking of all we have to give up. I LOVE fairs and LOVE the food (the only time of year I eat like that) I will miss funnel cakes, fried snickers, dippin dots, etc. My husband wants me to say I was wrong and it's all in my head and go back to normal. BUT, I feel so much better physically without gluten. He thinks I'm overreacting to making his bread and saying I feel bad afterward. "You never said anything before when you baked bread about feeling bad" Well, that's cuz I always felt bad, baking or not. He doesn't like for me to talk about it. I think he thinks it's nonsense in a way. We have a cookout to go to and he is worried that I will draw too much attention to myself because I probably won't be able to eat much. But, I said I will bring some things to the bbq and that it will be fine. He is just needing time to get used to it too I guess.

I don't know. Maybe I am worrying about it too much. I feel like a basketcase at times looking at labels, asking questions, deciding what and what not to cook. It would be easier to just feel bad. BUT I DON'T WANT TO FEEL BAD. So, I will continue on with my gluten free life and maybe I will get the hang of it and it will seem "normal" soon.

Thanks for letting me vent a little.

Feeling the weight on the world on my shoulders,

Bakinghomesteader

[bakinghomesteader]

Well, I talked to my husband. He said he just wished we didn't have to talk about health all the time. I also have myasthenia gravis (a neuromuscular disease) and have had some female issues as of late. I understand what he is saying. We talked this morning and I said what I had to say and he said he supported me and he didn't really want to talk about it anymore. He just said something like, "ok, you can't have gluten anymore, can we move on." What it was was I brought up the fact about how I was upset about the fairs, but then I was told that there WAS some things I could still have and I was excited about that. He said good.

Sometimes I just feel like a burden. I think he thinks that since a doctor didn't tell me about the gluten, then I'm probably wrong, but don't eat gluten if you don't want to. Oh, well. I will pick myself up by the bootstraps and carry on. He will come around sooner or later.

Bakinghomesteader