Super Ez Guideline Help Please!

[Mom23boys]

While not perfect yet my 8,6 and 4 y/o kids can make good choices without me hovering over them. My hubby is something else though. He came up to me today and said "I made a good choice at the party last night, I only had the pasta salad". By the look on my face he quickly got it that it was NOT a good choice. I've got the Dummies book and told him that is his project for today but does anyone have any suggestions, tips, printouts...that could help him learn. I don't think he is being stubborn, I seriously think he doesn't get it.

[gfcookie]

While not perfect yet my 8,6 and 4 y/o kids can make good choices without me hovering over them. My hubby is something else though. He came up to me today and said "I made a good choice at the party last night, I only had the pasta salad". By the look on my face he quickly got it that it was NOT a good choice. I've got the Dummies book and told him that is his project for today but does anyone have any suggestions, tips, printouts...that could help him learn. I don't think he is being stubborn, I seriously think he doesn't get it.

all five of you have celiac? have you actually been tested? are you aware the odds of that are slim to none? If your husband is eating pasta salad, he's a dope. he's a grownup, he should make his own decisions. Basic way to put celiac, no bread, pasta, sauces, seasonings, or anything out of a box. If it has more than three ingredients, it's probably not safe. if its based on something grown in a field, its probably not safe. If you all haven't been tested, you may not want to force your children through life gluten-free if its not necessary. iuf you all have been, i apologize, i just have run into too many people who have celiac and automatically assume their kids do, and it's not really fair to them.

[dbmamaz]

Just to differ slightly, many people who dont have celiac disease still are healthier without gluten. Raising kids without gluten is in no way abusive or mean. They can always make other choices when they leave your home.

Your husband . . . wow, thats kinda funny that he thought pasta salad was good. Idea # 1 - dont let him go to parties alone! Idea #2: tell him to ONLY eat meats, cheese, fruits and veggies when he's not at home, and corn chips and potato chips. And only if they are plain, not fried or stuffed or anything. Simple - simple foods - nothing mixed up. NO bread, cookies, pasta, cakes - but its easier sometimes to focus on what he can eat, maybe. Heck, he could call you from a place and ask u to help him choose lol!

Oh, and NO BEER!

good luck with that . . .

[Mom23boys]

If you all haven't been tested, you may not want to force your children through life gluten-free if its not necessary. iuf you all have been, i apologize, i just have run into too many people who have celiac and automatically assume their kids do, and it's not really fair to them.

Celiac is not the only issue that is gluten free. In our house we have 1 wheat allergic (child), 2 aspies (children) whose nutritionist told them to go Gluten-free Casein-free (they also test IgE to milk - 1 has had ana reactions, we are waiting on the additional gluten etc), I just had a panel done and came up borderline sensitive (I am also casein positive) and DH came up with possible celiac, instruction to go gluten-free and casein positive.

Even if not a one of them were positive to anything, if we decided to make our house completely gluten free it would be completely gluten free. Life isn't about "fair" and people who think it is must have a pretty miserable existence.

DH had never heard of gluten until a short time ago. He really had no reason to know or care about what it was. He now has to learn about what it is. IMO it is very immature to call someone a "dope" when they don't have all the answers. By your usage that must mean everyone here who asks any question must be a "dope" because they are not born knowing all the answers about gluten free. What a joy!

[Eriella]

Here is my guidelines of what to eat when I am out of the house:

-non-fried Tortilla chips

-salsa

-fruit and veggies

-cheese

-M&Ms

- salad w/o croutons or salad dressing

-baked potato

- hard boiled eggs

-plain coffee

-Pepsi or Coke

-wine

-unflavored vodka

Foods to avoid:

- anything that has more than 5 ingredients

- anything that you know would have flour in it

- beer

- anything fried

When I go out to eat, I am fine 99% of the time if I get a plain steak (without seasoning-- make sure he tells them that) with a baked potato and veggies or a cheese omelet (double check that there is no pancake batter in the eggs).

Good luck!

[gfpaperdoll]

Mom23boys, just wanted to congratulate you for taking good care of your family.

yes, everyone on the planet Earth would be healthier in mind AND body if they would not eat grains and processed foods. & I also differ with the poster that thinks it is so rare to have 5 people in a family with a gluten problem. I think it is rare not to have all the family have a gluten problem. Most everyone has it, they just do not know it. They may be symptom free until they get cancer, asthma, another auto immune illness, diabetes, dementia, on & on & on.

the rare exceptions are when you see an 85 year old person that has never been sick a day in their life, they work out at the gym, they are energetic & take care of all the other sickly 60 & 70 year olds that they know, they are mentally alert & they look like they are 60 years old. I look at that person & I think that wow, you know I do not think that person has a problem with gluten. (but you know I wonder what their diet is like?)

But then I look at all the people that I know that have asthma, acid reflux, cancer, IBS, Crohn's, lupus, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, ADHD, dementia, angry temper, obese, sinus infections, UTI infections constantly, thyroid problems... & I think what a pity that they have no idea that they have a problem with gluten.

mom23boys, re your husband, that is common with a lot of people, they do not think what pasta is made out of. They tend to think of wheat as the whole grain stuff, I am not even sure that a lot of people know that "flour" is made out of wheat. They just do not think about it. most people have no idea what they are really eating. I think that he will catch on, but he might need some explanations as to which cooked foods contain wheat (& gluten). I think it is harder for men if they do not cook. For instance if you never cooked gumbo you would not know that the roux is made out of wheat flour & fat. So a little cooking 101 might be a good place to start.

[gfcookie]

Celiac is not the only issue that is gluten free. In our house we have 1 wheat allergic (child), 2 aspies (children) whose nutritionist told them to go Gluten-free Casein-free (they also test IgE to milk - 1 has had ana reactions, we are waiting on the additional gluten etc), I just had a panel done and came up borderline sensitive (I am also casein positive) and DH came up with possible celiac, instruction to go gluten-free and casein positive.

Even if not a one of them were positive to anything, if we decided to make our house completely gluten free it would be completely gluten free. Life isn't about "fair" and people who think it is must have a pretty miserable existence.

DH had never heard of gluten until a short time ago. He really had no reason to know or care about what it was. He now has to learn about what it is. IMO it is very immature to call someone a "dope" when they don't have all the answers. By your usage that must mean everyone here who asks any question must be a "dope" because they are not born knowing all the answers about gluten free. What a joy!

well, get a book to help, and i was only joking by saying the word dopey, really any grownup who doesn't actively take care of themselves and ignores a health issue sort of earns the title of "dope" in my book. If your husband is a grownup, he needs to learn for himself, get him the hidden epedimic the peter green book, and let him come to his own decisions about what he should and should not eat. you're his wife, not his mother. and, if your entire house is gluten-free, shouldn't he already know? please, lets try and play nice here. And, it really isn't fair in general to force children to eat gluten-free just because you have celiac, although in this case it's clear your kids have other health issues. Maybe i got confused, because i thought you said all of your kids and you ate gluten-free, so i wasn't understanding why your husband would have no knowledge of their health issues and needs.

[gfcookie]

Mom23boys, just wanted to congratulate you for taking good care of your family.

yes, everyone on the planet Earth would be healthier in mind AND body if they would not eat grains and processed foods. & I also differ with the poster that thinks it is so rare to have 5 people in a family with a gluten problem. I think it is rare not to have all the family have a gluten problem. Most everyone has it, they just do not know it. They may be symptom free until they get cancer, asthma, another auto immune illness, diabetes, dementia, on & on & on.

the rare exceptions are when you see an 85 year old person that has never been sick a day in their life, they work out at the gym, they are energetic & take care of all the other sickly 60 & 70 year olds that they know, they are mentally alert & they look like they are 60 years old. I look at that person & I think that wow, you know I do not think that person has a problem with gluten. (but you know I wonder what their diet is like?)

But then I look at all the people that I know that have asthma, acid reflux, cancer, IBS, Crohn's, lupus, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, ADHD, dementia, angry temper, obese, sinus infections, UTI infections constantly, thyroid problems... & I think what a pity that they have no idea that they have a problem with gluten.

mom23boys, re your husband, that is common with a lot of people, they do not think what pasta is made out of. They tend to think of wheat as the whole grain stuff, I am not even sure that a lot of people know that "flour" is made out of wheat. They just do not think about it. most people have no idea what they are really eating. I think that he will catch on, but he might need some explanations as to which cooked foods contain wheat (& gluten). I think it is harder for men if they do not cook. For instance if you never cooked gumbo you would not know that the roux is made out of wheat flour & fat. So a little cooking 101 might be a good place to start.

whole grains containing gluten can actually be quite healthy for those without celiac. I think us celiacs like to think we're smarter than those gluten eaters, but those who eat healthy whole grains usually really do just fine. It's the gluten in form of doughnuts and fried things that really make gluten so unhealthy.

[gfpaperdoll]

that is the common misconception that whole grains are healthy, which they are not. I suggest as a start a couple of books, "Dangerous Grains" & Good calories Bad Calories".

gfcookie, how long have you been gluten-free? Do you have children?

[home-based-mom]

mom23boys, re your husband, that is common with a lot of people, they do not think what pasta is made out of. They tend to think of wheat as the whole grain stuff, I am not even sure that a lot of people know that "flour" is made out of wheat. They just do not think about it. most people have no idea what they are really eating. I think that he will catch on, but he might need some explanations as to which cooked foods contain wheat (& gluten). I think it is harder for men if they do not cook. For instance if you never cooked gumbo you would not know that the roux is made out of wheat flour & fat. So a little cooking 101 might be a good place to start.

Let me echo this. People just do not think about what they eat or what it is made of. I have one friend - bright but very busy - who I have reminded over and over. It is starting to sink in.

If something like this has never been part of your life, it takes time to wrap your head around it and all the implications. Learning "the hard way" aka "screwing up" is very effective. Chances are your husband will make other errors, but probably won't make that one again!

[Lisa]

Mom23boys,

Here is a beginners guide for Celiac. Perhaps this may be helpful.

Open Original Shared Link

You sound like you have a lot to juggle with multiple issues in your household. Hats off to ya

[gfcookie]

that is the common misconception that whole grains are healthy, which they are not. I suggest as a start a couple of books, "Dangerous Grains" & Good calories Bad Calories".

gfcookie, how long have you been gluten-free? Do you have children?

i've heard about those books. there are also books that suggest a raw food diet is healthy, and those that suggest eating only protein no matter the fat content is healthy. grains have been the basis of diets for people for hundreds of years, and somehow, people are still here. I've been gluten-free for four years. No one else in my family has celiac. and last i heard, the possibiltiy of a first degree relative, child included having celiac is 1 in 22. if anyone has any research that disproves that, i'd love to read it. i'm very interested in why celiac moms make their non celiac children gluten free even outside of the house (it is understandable if you cook for he home to make it all safe) if they do not have aspergers or autism or a wheat allergy. In my opinion it's not a good idea to force ones own diagnoses on ones children. I know it is off topic on this thread, but i really would love someone to show me some research explaining why even though it is apx 1 in 22 chance of having celiac if you have a first degree relative with it, families with 4 kids and 2 parents all "have celiac" I'm not being facetious, i'm truly interested, because, i will be starting a family soon, and if my children are gene tested, and do not have the gene, they will not eat gluten free simply because people think it is "healthier". Plenty of celiacs have awful diets and eat fattening replacement foods anyway. Sorry this has turned into a book, but, does anyone have an explanation, either book or website or journal as to why so many people automatically assume all of their kiddos have celiac too? I'm not speaking of those who's kids really have celiac or need for a gluten-free diet. I just wonder why people seem to automatically assume their kids have celiac? Is it bc they may have another autoimmune disease and benefit from gluten-free diet even though it's not celiac? It just makes me so nervous that so many people act like their entire family has celiac, when, in reality, every family shouldn't be full of 5 or 6 celiacs..statistically it makes no sense.

I really am curious to know what the deal is.

[blueeyedmanda]

You sound like you have a lot to juggle with multiple issues in your household. Hats off to ya

I agree, I commend you for taking charge of your family's health. I would be doing the same thing if I were in your shoes

[Ursa Major]

gfcookie, there are families here were both parents have celiac disease, with both of them also having the genes for it. The likelihood of all their kids having celiac disease is an awful lot higher than 1 in 22.

One of my daughter's mother-in-law has celiac disease as well. When it comes from both sides, again, she is watching her kids. And sure enough, her oldest daughter (18 months) is confirmed gluten intolerant and had solid bms for the first time, stopped her awful temper tantrums and had eczema clear up on the gluten-free diet. She has also tested to be dairy intolerant.

My husband doesn't seem to have a problem with gluten. But I see signs of gluten intolerance in all five of my grown kids and most of my grandchildren. At this point I can't tell about the new baby, of course. But for the other eight, I can only say with certainty that ONE doesn't seem to react to gluten at all (he is three).

While probably most of my kids wouldn't test positive for all out celiac disease, they would all benefit from a gluten-free diet, even though a couple of them are in denial, and one is purposely eating gluten to defy me, even though she agrees that gluten will give her gas and she feels better without it.

What you don't understand is, that wheat isn't meant to contain as much gluten as it does now. Through genetic engineering the gluten content of wheat has been multiplied many times over in the last century. Celiac disease used to be a truly rare condition when wheat was left as it was meant to be. It is NOT healthy any more now.

Plus, before modern harvesting and threshing methods, things went along at a much slower pace, and by the time wheat would be milled it had sprouted, which made it also much more digestible. Nowadays all the toxins that sprouting would eliminate are in our flour and bread.

[Worriedtodeath]

I had to chime in here and say that our ped dr said there are groups of people who must wait for medical science to catch up with them.

NO ONE in my family has a Celiac dx. NO ONE! But we are gluten free due to a very sick baby who will not grow on wheat. She's not a Celiac and as of this moment in time there is not one piece of research published yet to even suggest what she might be. Our ped supports us in a gluten-free lifestyle because medical research doesn't know everything and my child grows off of wheat. But there is not and there will not be a dx that explains this. She's not Celiac, she's not a wheat allergy, she's not even an intolerance since it is hotly disputed as to what that means and how it can be identified. She's according to every test and xray normal for the standards in place today. She doesn't grow but there is no explanation for this. But remove gluten and she grows, isn't sick anymore. The University of Chicago expressed interest in her for a research trial they are doing on people who aren't Celiac but respond as if they were.

Making the house safe for her included putting the other kids and myself on gluten-free diet. After doing this, we discovered a host of issues that DISAPPEARED. Things like running to the bathroom after every meal, fatigue, pain, weepiness, headaches, inability to focus, inability to speak, to do numbers, to read a sentence without stumbling, 1/2 inch growth over the last week (for a child that normally grows 1 inch in a year)........ THe list continues to grow every day my kids are off of gluten and that is just the kids. Let's not even get into what it's doing for me.

We don't have Celiac's. Blood panels reveal we are just peachy. And at this moment in time, there is no other dx to give us that is an established dx. We must wait for science to catch up to us. In the meantime, do I allow the kids to eat gluten until a dr discovers a disease, syndrome, etc and has something in black and white to support my mother's instinct that gluten is interfering with my kids' well being? Or do I do what I know is best for them at this time? Will they be gluten free for life? Don't know but while they are growing and growing and developing, I know that gluten can and is interefering with that. If I had Celiac, I would never introduce gluten to my child until they were adults. The damage it can do is far greater than damage from not eating a twinkie or whole wheat bread or whatever is considered wheat filled healthy. Why take that chance? I try to eliminate every chance of a problem while pregnant why stop when they come out??

As for stats, with a disease that is not recoginized by many drs, unknowing pathologists, those stats mean nothing.

As for the original poster sorry for highjacking your thread and congrats on taking care of the family. My hubby is struggling to keep up with direct, hidden, cc gluten issues as it has been rather dumped on us quickly and he still has a full time job to deal with. While my job was and still is to keep everybody healthy, together, and manage the household. He would be totally lost if he had to worry about this himself and would find it diffucult to research all of this, do all the reading, and get the stuff, and then get it on the table. I go as far as to call him if he takes the kids out and tell him they can get this or that or this is okay. I have been going to the grocery store and calling him to look up items online for me that I didn't research before hand. That seems to have helped. I also have a Gluten FRee Folder containing food lists and companys and ingredients that are no nos and the good ones (CLEARLY marked and highlighted to make sure they show up). I make out a menu and list on the fridge and include snacks from the outside world on it just to kinda keep it in the front of his eyes. I've looked up places online, printed the menus, and highlighted the meals we can have. those are in the car. maye you could talk before he leaves about where he will eat and what he can eat there? I know my hubby grabs food because he's out of time to plan what to eat and if he doesn't get food now, he won't get the chance. Maybe having a "food plan" ????

hang in there!!

Stacie

[Worriedtodeath]

email me and I will send you all the lists I have and the shopping guides I came up with. You can then see how to use them for your hubby. We just had to take out dairy too, so I have some of that as well. Most of it is complied from here and the autism sites. THe resturant menus are on their website. maybe business size no nos would help?? Stick them in a business card holder that he can tote around???

Stacie

[MySuicidalTurtle]

I'd like to remind everyone to stay on topic. If anyone wishes to discuss how people raise their non-Celiac children, the rate at which Celiac mothers give birth to Celiac children, or whole grain issues then please make new threads and I am sure many will participate. Thank you!

[tarnalberry]

How to help your husband?

Well, I'm guessing that he's just very unaware in the food realm. I don't mean that in a bad way at all - it's very easy, particularly in our society, to be unaware of what food really is made of, where it comes from, and how it fuels us. We take food for granted, and often as nothing more than either something to sate us, something to soothe us, or something to please us.

While you may be his wife and not his mother, you still can teach him, if you're both open to taking on the roles of mentor and mentee. It may be harder than it was with your children - they didn't have a lifetime of UNlearning to do - so you may have to dig up reserves of patience for adults (whom you expect to be more 'educated') that you weren't prepared for. But if you teach him, he'll feel more in control, we will fail less, and you'll both feel more confident that he can handle those parties well. (While I'm not religious, it's really the "give a man a fish...; teach a man to fish..." thing.)

Maybe start by having him come to the grocery store with you and cook with you, while you point out where you are making changes and where things are different from what other people, who aren't Gluten-free Casein-free, might do. Teaching him, one-on-one, is going to stick with him better than just a paper list (though giving him that as well would be a good hard reference for him to go back to), as shared experiences make excellent learning experiences.

[JNBunnie1]

You know, when I got sick ('activated' is a word I like), it had never once occurred to me that the food I eat is anything that could harm me nutritionally, or really what was in it. I never read an ingredient list. I just continued on my merry little Toaster Strudel way until I got sick and started searching for something, anything, that could make me better. It didn't occur to me that the food I eat could be responsible for the way I feel (DUH!) until I read it in a book, the Maker's Diet. And I was so tired and sick by that point that for the first three months wheat free (didn't learn about 'gluten' till a while later) I ate rice pasta with meat sauce for two meals a day for three months. And I can't tell you how many people said to me, "Well, flour's not made from wheat. Pasta's safe. Oh, but this is white bread." I mean, at least I knew that white flour came from the wheat grain. But most people don't even pay attention to THAT. It's scary how brainwashed we are when it comes to food. I think you're perfectly justified in giving your husband 'The Look'. But he obviously is new at this and needs to take an hour and just study what foods are ok. Good luck finding a free hour with kids and a job and all this stuff though. In this instance, one of the gluten free instruction manuals might really be in order. He could take is shopping, leave it in the car, since he's obviously safe at home!

[AliB]

We have to be very careful here not to adopt a 'them and us' attitude. Those with Celiac disease do not have the monopoly on gluten intolerance!

The thing is, EVERY human on this earth who eats gluten, is gluten intolerant to a greater or lesser degree. It has been modified into a protein molecule that is very difficult for our bodies to digest. Some may have an inbuilt ability to cope with it but by far the majority don't and the underlying nutrient starvation it causes will eventually catch up in some kind of disease.

Some may develop early symptoms, some may develop late symptoms, some may not develop symptoms at all, until they are struck with an illness that is not recognised as being caused by gluten intolerance.

I now know my mother was almost certainly Celiac. She had all the markers for it, but it was not picked up until 3 weeks before she died and the nutrient deficiency was way too great for her body to recover from. I now know my father's symptoms were due to severe gluten intolerance. My Mum had tried going wheat-free at one point but it was obviously not enough. I may have Celiac, I may just be extremely gluten intolerant. I care not which. All I know and all I care is that dropping gluten is making me better.

Celiac is just one end result of severe gluten intolerance. There are many, many others. If you have the genetic markers, at some point you will develop Celiac. If not, you can still be severely gluten intolerant.

I would say to your hubby - if it makes you ill, avoid it like the plague! Stick to plain, good, wholesome food with as little as possible in the way of additives. Any meat, fish or fowl unprocessed, any vegetables, cooked and raw, any fruit unprocessed and without toppings, no grains except rice, buckwheat, millet, quinoa and corn. Some people get it some don't. I have a friend. Her daughter is a regional school meals Manager and is fully conversant with types of food. My friend however, is not and cannot grasp the difference between protein and carbs, which makes trying to feed her diabetic husband very interesting!

Is it worth making him a list that he can keep with him of the different types of food he can eat? The more gluten-free he becomes, the more likely he is to react to foods that affect him, and hopefully he will then start to realise which foods are the problem for him.

[Mom23boys]

Thanks for the good suggestions.

I sat him down and had another talk with him this weekend. He has been used to having the freedom of eating what he wants at work/work lunches. He is now under the "shock" of being included in the family allergy/sensitivity/intolerance list with such intensity. Before he only had to watch out for vanillin and notify me if he had shellfish (I'm ana). All of a sudden he is right in the big middle with the rest of us. Our meals at home are so "normal" that he hasn't known what is gluten-free and what is not (unless I buy the packaged bread - then everyone knows - bleh).

I'm going to try to get him a list made up today. Luckily today is the only day this week he has a business lunch. He is supposed to call me before he goes out and I'll figure out the menu. (He is VP and waaaay to busy to get that done).

[blueeyedmanda]

Thanks for the good suggestions.

I sat him down and had another talk with him this weekend. He has been used to having the freedom of eating what he wants at work/work lunches. He is now under the "shock" of being included in the family allergy/sensitivity/intolerance list with such intensity. Before he only had to watch out for vanillin and notify me if he had shellfish (I'm ana). All of a sudden he is right in the big middle with the rest of us. Our meals at home are so "normal" that he hasn't known what is gluten-free and what is not (unless I buy the packaged bread - then everyone knows - bleh).

I'm going to try to get him a list made up today. Luckily today is the only day this week he has a business lunch. He is supposed to call me before he goes out and I'll figure out the menu. (He is VP and waaaay to busy to get that done).

good for you I hope this helps him. It is a big shock for anyone Good Luck on your efforts.