I Dont Know What To Do

[jasonD2]

some of u might recall my previous postings regarding my new job and concerns about my diet and being on the road. i took a sales job that requires 80% travel and am on the road 4 days out of the week.

Anyway, im 2 weeks into the new job and im finding that its just literally impossible to maintain a diet free of all my food triggers. The only option for me now is to either eat or starve. my first week was difficult cause i didnt have much freedom to pick and choose restaurants and had to eat where everyone else wanted to eat. as a result i skimped on food, made some poor menu choices and lost some weight and felt really run down, which is not good right now cause i have so much work to do and so much to learn and cant afford to be malnourished. The only way i can successfully stick to my diet is to be a total pain in the ass with the wait staff and spend 5 minutes going thru all the ingredients that i cant eat -- my business requires taking clients out and making good impressions and am just uncomfortable getting into all my food/health issues in front of these people...the worst is when everyone is sitting there quietly while im making all my requests.

Seems like everyone i go out with wants italian food, which sucks for me since i must avoid gluten and dairy. today we went to an italian place and i asked for salmon with marinara sauce and french fries. the salmon was covered in pasta (the waitress didnt tell me pasta was part of the dish) and loaded with garlic..i did what i could to just eat the salmon but it was hard and i didnt even enjoy the meal. im also sure there were traces of gluten all over my food.

A few days ago my colleagues wanted Hibachi. the rice was covered in butter and i asked the chef to prepare mine without...he said he couldnt and everyone at the table was looking at me cause i was holding the chef up. they prepared my food in the back with plain steamed rice. after i ate it i realized they used soy sauce which has wheat in it.

Going out to eat should be enjoyable and for me its just stressful and emotionally exhausting. i just spent 4 months on a very strict diet and was able to avoid problematic foods cause i cooked everything at home. now i feel like im messing up my insides again. im really scared...this is my dream job and after 2 weeks im already freaking out.

id appreciate some suggestions

Thanks

[pixiegirl]

I'm not sure what other food restrictions you have and I certainly understand that the more you have the more difficult it is to eat on the road.

My daughter has: gluten, peanuts and tree nuts.

I have: gluten, tomatoes, squash, beans and I can eat small amounts of lettuce.

We have traveled all over the world and I travel monthly (at least) with my job and at least 5 or 6 times a year for vacations.

I think the only advice I can give you is you have to be more assertive. For me 5 minutes of direction to the wait staff isn't a big deal. I certainly could not eat, nor would I attempt too, salmon that was on pasta, I would be so ill that I wouldn't be able to work for a few days. So for me, I have to spend the time.

And if you didn't know the dish came with pasta you didn't do a very good job at explaining your food issues. I made it very clear I can't have gluten and I always run down that this includes a whole lot of other products, bread, croutons, pasta, flour used to thicken sauces or salad dressing. I also printed out a tiny little list that in some places I give to the waiter. (if they chef comes out to speak to me I don't usually bother with the printed list, that in itself tells me they are concerned about food issues but when I have to deal with the wait staff I give them my list which is only about 3 inches by 3 inches but it quickly outlines where gluten is: bread, pasta, flour used for thickening, soy sauce, etc. I've had good luck.

You said your in sales, do you have a sales area so that in time you will end up knowing the restaurants in your particular territory? I have clients that I eat with too and I pick the restaurants.. I just say, I'm sorry but I have a lot of food allergies but I know I can eat at restaurant A, B, or C. Which do you prefer. I've never had a colleague or client say: I'm not going to those. Everyone has been very understanding.

It takes a while to get the hang of it (I've been gluten-free for about 6 years) but you do, eventually. Its really helped me become more assertive as a person and for me that was a good thing!

good luck, Susan

[cupid]

Hi, Just a thought since I'm still new to this myself and not a lot of experience eating out @ restaurants that don't offer gluten-free menus but do you have time to call a head and speak to the manager about what you need? Maybe this would at least make you more comfortable in front of your collegues. I know its just hard enough for me to do this in front of friends who don't really understand you can't have "just a little" as they would say. Good luck w/ this and your new job.

[RiceGuy]

For someone on the road so much, I'd recommend one of those portable mini electric coolers. Basically a little refrigerator that runs on 12V from the lighter socket in the dashboard. Then you can keep all sorts of stuff, no need to refill with ice all the time, and no CC risks. Seems to me it would be much easier to truthfully say you aren't hungry or that you already ate, etc.

I've seen 12V buffet burners too, so you could heat stuff up with that if need be. A 12V microwave may be another way. I think the microwave might be more of a drain on the battery though, depending on the duration of use.

[missy'smom]

I would skip the waitstaff and go directly to the manager. Get the dining cards and present them every time. Tell them they are welcome to hang onto them/take them back to the kitchen as long as they need, just return it when they are done or keep them(if you don't mind).

[Guest hightop girl]

What are "dining cards"? I am new to this.

[home-based-mom]

What are "dining cards"? I am new to this.

Visit Open Original Shared Link site - you can print them out in several languages. It looks like if you have more than one food issue you may need to use what they have as a guide and create your own. Print them out and use as needed.

[gfpaperdoll]

several options but number 1 you have got to have some self confidence - no one respects a person that does not stand up for what they need to do to be healthy...

Wheat is one of the top 10 allergens - nothing wrong in saying you have a severe wheat allergy.

Always assume that there will be bread or pasta on a dish, if I order something that is plainly gluten free I always say - no bread or in Texas it is "no flour tortillas". If I am getting ice cream I remind them again - no cookie, I am allergic to wheat...

if a dinner companion asks any questions you can just say "I am on a medically restricted diet" - end of subject.

Carol Channing took her own food to dinner at the White House, on more than one occasion. Of course she also had sterling silver containers & her own chef!

Take your lunch with you, that you have made ealier in the morning from things that you have & a quick grocery trip... With a light hearted comment to dining companions about being on a restricted diet, like you are amused in an annoying way - really everyone is going to mirror your attitude... If you are nervous & embarrassed your guests will also be nervous & embarrassed for you.

really the bottom line is to drop pretentions & get real with your life, your food & dining out with business associates. Pretending to be something that you are not never really works, no matter what the situation is. I sense that you might have underlying insecurities...

[Phyllis28]

several options but number 1 you have got to have some self confidence - no one respects a person that does not stand up for what they need to do to be healthy...

Take your lunch with you, that you have made ealier in the morning from things that you have & a quick grocery trip... With a light hearted comment to dining companions about being on a restricted diet, like you are amused in an annoying way - really everyone is going to mirror your attitude... If you are nervous & embarrassed your guests will also be nervous & embarrassed for you.

really the bottom line is to drop pretentions & get real with your life, your food & dining out with business associates. Pretending to be something that you are not never really works, no matter what the situation is. I sense that you might have underlying insecurities...

I agree, I travel for business, though I do not entertain clients. I regularly bring all or some of my lunch with me. If there is someone new I make a simple explanation such as "I can not eat wheat, oats, rye or barley" or "I am on a medically restricted diet", change the subject and move on.

Aim to make a good impression with who you are not what you eat.

[Ursa Major]

I agree with several of the suggestions here. It is a good idea to call ahead of time and talk to the manager, to see if they will make it work for you, and to find out if they actually care for their patron's safety.

Call several restaurants, so you can suggest which ones your guests can choose from. If you say, "I have food restrictions, these are the restaurants where I can safely eat........... which one would you like to go to?", you know you will be safe, but your guests feel that they had a choice.

Also, always have food with you, just in case you can't find anything to eat.

Don't squirm or look apologetic when talking to wait staff, chef or manager. It is normal for you to eat this way, and hopefully nobody would want you to get sick. Everybody knows that many people have allergies and/or food intolerances, and now they have found out you are one of those. No big deal.

[Panopticism]

I never eat at restaurants... too bad that's not an option for you. Could you bring your own food everywhere, or is that not possible?

[Green12]

Based on what you say here, I would suggest making your health and your diet your number one priority.

You can't function, or work even, when you are sick from reacting to your meals. It will take more time planning ahead and like some mention here some more assertiveness on your part, BUT it will be worth it and make a difference.

I would suspect that as time goes on, and you learn more about what works for you and what doesn't on the road it will all become easier and routine, and not so much of a big deal.

Also, don't let the fear of appearing different or being an inconvenience to the wait staff/kitchen or the people you are dining with compromise what is important to you (and necessary), your health and diet.

[gfgypsyqueen]

I feel your pain. Everytime I have to explain my allergy to a server it becomes a 15 minute discussion at the table with the other guests. Find a light joke comment to explain you have these allergies and change the topic back to business. I don't travel as much as you, but I travel some for work. Here are some things that work for me.

Hotel: get the room with a fridge and microwave. That is a must. Travel with a small discrete cooler full of emergency foods for you. You may need a letter from Dr to make the security at the airport easier.

Food: Bring small packages of Meat or sauces with you during the day. Put them in small coolers or thermos type things. Girls can toss these in a purse easily. Do you carry a brief case or laptop bag that you can put these in? The main reason is when I get stuck in a really unhelpful restaurant, I order a side salad as plain as they come, then add my meat and sauce from home. I can't function if I am hungry and I won't eat if the food is questionable. So, by having snack portions I can always eat if I have a problem at a restaurant.

Another option is to land in the city, stop by the local grocery and get 1/4 or 1/2 lb of safe lunch meat and bring safe crackers from home. That will last a few days.

Also, if you have a regular territory, scout out the areas and get a list of gluten-free menu restaurants together that stays in your computer with you for all trips. Then start expanding on that list. Call the restaurants in the area prior to arriving for the week. I do shockingly well at mom and pop restaurants. Burger with cheese, potato or nacho chips is my standard lunch order. I'm sure a steak and potato would work just as well for dinner. Most places can do something with that to make it safe. Boring food is better than unsafe meals for me .

The other option is to find the local health food stores that carry a decnet supply. Then just stock up when you get off the plane or arrive in town.

Finally, most people like options of just a few good restaurants and understand when you say you have some food allergies and you need to go to certain places. Heck, you are paying and the places that are generally safe for Celiacs are higher end restaurants. Your clients will love when you come to town! If they have a particular place they wnat to go, call early in the day and see what you can arrange. I will say the one time I called ahead, spoke to the manager and arranged my whole meal early in the day for my dinner, I was never so sick. It was horrible!

But traveling with cards for chef may be a great help.

The traveling pains will settle down soon. Don't give up on the job because of the food issues.

[Takala]

You feel anxious because you have been glutened.

You need to "sell" your needs to the wait staff. Wait staff varies from the kind and helpful to the hopelessly ding a ling. Tell them it's a wheat and barley allergy. So NO wheat or bread or flour products. You say "gluten" and they won't hear it correctly.

I have found one has to be extremely specific when ordering or the *****s will put sauce on everything after I've said NO WHEAT and explained the no gluten thing. I've even specifically emphasized NO SAUCE and some dingbat puts a cup of sauce next to the meat on the plate "in case I change my mind."

You also can get a plain broiled steak, plain broiled fish, plain vegetable, and plain baked potato at most restaurants. Don't eat the restaurant "butter" unless it comes wrapped in tinfoil and has a picture of a cow on it, I'm serious, or unless you're at Outback Restaurant and eating off of their gluten free menu. Because they will stick a knife in who knows what and then scoop your butter. Ugh. Chicken tends to be marinated, so be carefull. Eggs and bacon and fresh fruit cup is another default meal. Get fried eggs. Some places put wheatjunk in the scrambled.

When you order a salad, NO CROUTONS, so please make me a fresh salad, and oil and vinegar dressing.

Don't eat french fries in restaurants, that is just asking for cross contamination from other things made in the fryer with bread coatings.... ugh. Unless the Chef comes out and assures you he cut the potatoes himself and is using a dedicated fryer.

Ironically, you can buy Ore ida brand tater tots, I think, and they are supposed to be gluten free.

Don't eat fried chips in Mexican restaurants, same deal with the cross contamination.

Chevy's, for instance.... they don't have much at Chevy's Fresh Mex unless you really study the menu. They use soy sauce in a lot of their meat marinades. Smaller, real Mexican restaurants tend to be much less of a problem.

Japanese restaurants.... some sushi is okay. Sushi chefs tend to be very nice since they are used to preparing things to order. Just specify no wheat. So no fake crab, no eel, no seaweed wraps that have been marinated in soy sauce. They make a really good soy sauce called San- J wheat free tamari, you could carry a bottle of that with you and use it.

Thai food.... pad thai, the rice noodle dish, tends to be gluten free.

If you start having happy dining experiences, the successful waiters who get tipped will start looking out for you.

I would also start packing a big totebag with a lot of foods I could eat, and use that to snack out of.

[kitten37]

Assert yourself. There are many people out there with nut or shellfish allergies and a restaurant would not take those lightly, nor would/should colleagues/clients. Your health is number one. I was going to say if you are not ready to go through the initial explanation right in front of these people calling the restaurant ahead and giving a heads up so they also are not caught off guard and have a little more time to think/prep options for you. Then all you have to do is say "I'm Mr/Mrs so and so we spoke earlier". Also a point made earlier as well, although the gluten movement is getting stronger for people who aren't affected by it many are still clueless. I for one have known my cousin had celiac all my life but I thought it was something very different than I understand it to be now. Throwing the word gluten out there you may as well be speaking an alien language to people. Put everything in layman