Home From School, Again

[OBXMom]

My second grader with celiac disease is home from school yet again. Last week he missed most of the week, and this week he went in late one day, and I took ear drops to school another couple of times to help him get through the day, because he refuses motrin and tylenol. Today even the playdate he would have had after school was not enough to lure him to go. On top of his regular symptoms ( tummy hurts, throw up feeling in his throat) he is contending with allergy stuff (ear ache, runny nose, headache.) When he is feeling well, he loves school, and making up the work is not a problem for him. I still just have a really hard time letting him stay home when he is not contagious, with only vague symptoms.

I wish there were a set of rules about when to allow a child to stay home, and when to make them go, with a special celiac version, of course. I also wonder if it is awful to let a child who stayed home from school play with another child after school. I did it once, I admit, but I was afraid I would be reported to the Mommy police. Hopefully we will get my little guy feeling well - it seems like we are having constant doctors appointments- and this will be a short term problem. But until then, any words of wisdom are appreciated . . .

[RiceGuy]

I was sick a lot when I was little, and many times I was practically pushed onto the bus. Inevitably, the school nurse would have to call and have someone take me home. Finally my complaints were taken a bit more seriously, but not nearly enough IMO.

If your child normally enjoys school, and willingly attends without grumbling when feeling well, then I'd be inclined to take it seriously when he complains he doesn't feel well. Don't feel guilty for this, as your child's health is at stake, and the school should understand this as well.

Also remember that kids don't like sitting still, so when they do you know something is wrong. Even when they begin to recover and get more active, some of that activity is likely due to the fact that they are bored to tears. I am speaking from experience too.

Being always hungry, I was always accused of faking, because everyone seemed to think that a sick child couldn't possibly be interested in food After all, being sick was associated with an upset stomach/loss of appetite. However, my symptoms didn't include that.

[dbmamaz]

Another VA mom with the same problem - except my son isnt celiac (as far as we know - actually waiting for results). Some mornings he has the runs several times before the bus comes here. I often will just drive him in late, tho - he's in middle school (6th grade), and he'll just stay home all day and play video games and then want to play w his freinds after school. But often when I send him to school, I get several calls from the clinic that hes' in there - a sore throat, a headach, a tummy ache, the runs, sometimes all in the same day.

I feel really bad making him go to school sick . . . I dont want him to suffer. He's also in specail ed classes for emotional issues despite being gifted iq, so the work is incredibly easy for him. But . . .he never seems sick on the weekends. He's never too sick to get up and go to baseball. And today I picked him up - he felt SO sick at school, but once he got home, he devoured his whole lunch and wanted more.

So mostly, unless he really, really begs, I send him in the morning, and half the times I end up bringing him home by lunch time. The only advantage to that is that as long as he shows up, its not an absence, it doesnt show up on his record.

I'm just starting testing, and i'm hoping if I do sensitivity testing after the allergy and celiac testing, we'll figure out what foods are bothering him so much. But theres not much you can do about this awful VA hay fever season . . . which lasts from feb thru november, I think?

[Ursa Major]

OBXMom, do you still give your son dairy and soy? Dairy is known to cause ear infections, tummy aches, constipation and emotional issues, and soy will cause similar problems for somebody intolerant to it as well.

It sounds to me like he is intolerant to more foods than just gluten. Food dyes could also cause some of those problems.

You might want to do an elimination diet with him, to figure out his other intolerances, to finally get him completely well!

[Phyllis28]

My son was generally heathly enough to go to school so my experience is not the same as the other posters. I implented the following rule for my son very early in elementary school: No video games, TV, Computer or eletrontics during the school day if he stayed home sick. If he had to come home from school these activities were prohibited until the end of the school day. I never had any major problems with him staying home when he was not sick. I never had any major problems with him staying home when he was not sick.

[RiceGuy]

Another VA mom with the same problem - except my son isnt celiac (as far as we know - actually waiting for results). Some mornings he has the runs several times before the bus comes here. I often will just drive him in late, tho - he's in middle school (6th grade), and he'll just stay home all day and play video games and then want to play w his freinds after school. But often when I send him to school, I get several calls from the clinic that hes' in there - a sore throat, a headach, a tummy ache, the runs, sometimes all in the same day.

I feel really bad making him go to school sick . . . I dont want him to suffer. He's also in specail ed classes for emotional issues despite being gifted iq, so the work is incredibly easy for him. But . . .he never seems sick on the weekends. He's never too sick to get up and go to baseball. And today I picked him up - he felt SO sick at school, but once he got home, he devoured his whole lunch and wanted more.

So mostly, unless he really, really begs, I send him in the morning, and half the times I end up bringing him home by lunch time. The only advantage to that is that as long as he shows up, its not an absence, it doesnt show up on his record.

I'm just starting testing, and i'm hoping if I do sensitivity testing after the allergy and celiac testing, we'll figure out what foods are bothering him so much. But theres not much you can do about this awful VA hay fever season . . . which lasts from feb thru november, I think?

Wow, sure sounds like Celiac to me. Any chance he's getting more gluten at school than at home? Or some other allergen?

[home-based-mom]

When I was growing up, if you were too sick to go to school, you were too sick to play with friends or do other fun stuff. Period. No exceptions. I kept that rule when raising my daughter. Among other things, it helps kids to sort through how sick they really feel. It also helps you as a parent to spot patterns of not feeling well at school but coming home and feeling well enough to play. Maybe there are other issues at school that need to be investigated if this is a pattern.

That being said, if I had a headache, a stomach ache and the runs, I would not want to be there, either. And I can't imagine the school would want me there!

THAT being said, going to school when you are able, even though you don't feel 100%, establishes a lifelong pattern and a mind set that in life there are some things you have to do whether you feel like it or not. Such a mind set will serve a person well in the work place, because employers are much more likely to do whatever they can to accommodate someone who is truly too ill to work if that person has not already set a pattern of "calling sick with a hangnail."

It does sound like there may possibly be some other food issues here. Have you kept a food diary?

[taweavmo3]

I completely agree with Ursa......seriously consider cutting out dairy and soy if you haven't already. My kids had constant colds and ear infections until we cut out all dairy. They have gone nearly all winter without so much as a cough. I have tried to add it back in, and they always end up with runny noses. Dairy is a known mucus producer. For calcium, I make them a smoothie in the morning with fruit, orange juice, and a liquid calcium supplement (just 2 tbs gives you 100% RDA). I also keep a chart on my fridge of calcium and iron rich foods to keep their diet in check.

As for the school issue, I know that part is hard. My 5 year old has missed many days this year, and alot of it has been due to cross contamination issues or a teacher directly giving her gluten. If she is lethargic and complaining of a tummy ache or headache, I usually let her stay home. Like your child, when my dd is feeling well, she happily goes to school. So I take her complaints seriously, and we have received a letter from the school regarding her absences. This is when an actual diagnosis comes in handy, a letter from our doctor stating she has Celiac should cover any attendance issues we may have.

[OBXMom]

Another VA mom with the same problem - except my son isnt celiac (as far as we know - actually waiting for results). Some mornings he has the runs several times before the bus comes here. I often will just drive him in late, tho - he's in middle school (6th grade), and he'll just stay home all day and play video games and then want to play w his freinds after school. But often when I send him to school, I get several calls from the clinic that hes' in there - a sore throat, a headach, a tummy ache, the runs, sometimes all in the same day.

I feel really bad making him go to school sick . . . I dont want him to suffer. He's also in specail ed classes for emotional issues despite being gifted iq, so the work is incredibly easy for him. But . . .he never seems sick on the weekends. He's never too sick to get up and go to baseball. And today I picked him up - he felt SO sick at school, but once he got home, he devoured his whole lunch and wanted more.

So mostly, unless he really, really begs, I send him in the morning, and half the times I end up bringing him home by lunch time. The only advantage to that is that as long as he shows up, its not an absence, it doesnt show up on his record.

I'm just starting testing, and i'm hoping if I do sensitivity testing after the allergy and celiac testing, we'll figure out what foods are bothering him so much. But theres not much you can do about this awful VA hay fever season . . . which lasts from feb thru november, I think?

Hello, neighbor! We are actually in the same hometown. So you know I know what you mean about the pollen. Do you go to R.O.C.K. events? There has only been one since we were diagnosed, but it was fun. You know, we have a bit of the-never-sick-on-the-weekends thing, too, but I think it actually makes sense. It is much easier to overcome feeling bad for something fun and relaxing. If you ever want to compare notes on area doctors, let me know.

[flourgirl]

Hi! It IS a tough call when your child is ill. You want to do all you can to make their lives easier. My own son had a lot of health issues.....wish I had known then what it was all about! My philosophy would have been the same, however. Unless he was running a fever, or could not be away from the bathroom, he had to at least make the effort and attempt at going to school. He always had the option of coming home if he felt he just could not make it through the day. MOST of the time, he felt well enough to stay in school for that day. Often, once he was involved in the classwork, he wasn't so focused on feeling bad. I was afraid to set a precedent for his adult life to give in too easily to the little road blocks. How on earth would he then deal with the big ones?

Hope this helps. Your are not being mean in teaching your child to live his life to the fullest in spite of his illness. Giving in and laying down is rarely an option. Good luck!

[OBXMom]

OBXMom, do you still give your son dairy and soy? Dairy is known to cause ear infections, tummy aches, constipation and emotional issues, and soy will cause similar problems for somebody intolerant to it as well.

It sounds to me like he is intolerant to more foods than just gluten. Food dyes could also cause some of those problems.

You might want to do an elimination diet with him, to figure out his other intolerances, to finally get him completely well!

Ursa & Tamara, we have eliminated dairy, soy and corn, which we determined were causing problems through an elimination diet. All he eats now are rice products, meat & poultry, eggs, potatos (only a bit), and fruit leather. He only drinks apple juice & rice milk. There are other foods he might be able to tolerate, but he refuses to try them. I was wondering if we should eliminate rice again, as it sometimes gets stuck in his throat, but it is 90% of his diet, and before we added it back during his elimination diet he was losing weight at an alarming rate. What would you eliminate next? Thank you very much for your thoughts and questions.

- Jane

[OBXMom]

I was sick a lot when I was little, and many times I was practically pushed onto the bus. Inevitably, the school nurse would have to call and have someone take me home. Finally my complaints were taken a bit more seriously, but not nearly enough IMO.

If your child normally enjoys school, and willingly attends without grumbling when feeling well, then I'd be inclined to take it seriously when he complains he doesn't feel well. Don't feel guilty for this, as your child's health is at stake, and the school should understand this as well.

Also remember that kids don't like sitting still, so when they do you know something is wrong. Even when they begin to recover and get more active, some of that activity is likely due to the fact that they are bored to tears. I am speaking from experience too.

Being always hungry, I was always accused of faking, because everyone seemed to think that a sick child couldn't possibly be interested in food After all, being sick was associated with an upset stomach/loss of appetite. However, my symptoms didn't include that.

RiceGuy, thank you for sharing your memories of a child's perspective. Your opinion is a little different than some of the others, and I wonder, do you think getting practically pushed onto the bus made you any more resilient or gave you a stronger work ethic? Hard to say, of course, but just wondering.

[OBXMom]

My son was generally heathly enough to go to school so my experience is not the same as the other posters. I implented the following rule for my son very early in elementary school: No video games, TV, Computer or eletrontics during the school day if he stayed home sick. If he had to come home from school these activities were prohibited until the end of the school day. I never had any major problems with him staying home when he was not sick. I never had any major problems with him staying home when he was not sick.

I hear you, Phyllis, and I have always had the same rules. I've just been feeling so sorry for my son lately, that they are getting harder to justify.

[OBXMom]

Tamara, Sandi & Flourgirl, I hear you all, and totally agree with the tough love approach. It is just not the easiest for me. I have never managed to get my child to eat a single fruit or vegetable, and believe me, I've tried, so you can see who wins many of the battles of the will in my house. There are of course things I put my foot down about, and school attendance is one of the areas where I probably should toughen up. Thanks for helping me think this through.

[Ursa Major]

Unfortunately, rice could be a problem, as could be potatoes. Which rice milk are you using? Rice Dream is processed with barley malt, and despite their gluten-free label, is not 100% gluten-free.

Eggs could also be the culprit, it is one of the most common allergens. Him refusing to eat vegetables makes it almost impossible! That is really tough.

Have you tried putting vegetables into meat loaf? Sometimes veggies can be disguised so kids will eat them.

Will he try cereal, like the gluten-free cereals from Bob's Red Mill?

I am wondering if he gets gluten at school. Are you sure they are all aware of his issues and understand?

[dandelionmom]

My daughter is only in preschool so I'm not sure what we'll do at that age. But right now she's doing really well in school so if she gets glutened, I keep her home. She gets so foggy and emotional and has such violent gastro symptoms there's no way she'd be able to be productive in school. I'd rather she be home getting snuggled and keeping hydrated.

[RiceGuy]

RiceGuy, thank you for sharing your memories of a child's perspective. Your opinion is a little different than some of the others, and I wonder, do you think getting practically pushed onto the bus made you any more resilient or gave you a stronger work ethic? Hard to say, of course, but just wondering.

Well, as you point out, it may not be so easy to have an unbiased prospective of it. However, one thing that stands out is that for those few times when I got my parents to listen, and went to a doctor, the doctor convinced them I was faking to get attention or to stay home. They of course believed the doctor. All little kids are liars, right? At least that's how my parents thought. They actually said to me, that they were only taking me to the doctor to call my bluff, figuring I'd either back out in fear of needles, or be exposed as a faker.

I could continue, but I'm sure you see the pattern.

But as for the work ethics and such, I'm not sure it did anything for that. I hated school with a passion, but I did go without making a fuss if I felt ok. I understood it was intended to teach important stuff, but I had my own interests, none of which were addressed in school. I was bored, too weak for gym, and upwards of 6-8 inches below average height. So resiliency it didn't give me. Rather, it made me sicker to put my body through that.

I think house chores did more for work ethics. There's nothing like learning from example too, and there was no shortage of that. But at the time I'm sure I felt like most kids - that work of any type was keeping me from fun things. I wouldn't expect much deviation in that from child to child, except for those kids who are forced through economic disadvantages to practically skip childhood to help support the family.

One thing for sure though, is I learned to have no trust in doctors.

[allie h.]

I had trouble going to school until I was diagnosed my sophmore year of high school. It all started in the 8th grade when I started getting sick. I really didn't like going to school not feeling well but my mom pretty much made me go (she didn't think I was really sick). Finally in the summer of 9th grade my GI diagnosed me with IBS (actually Celiac but we didn't know that yet) and said the only thing I could really do was take immodium. So I took that the whole 9th grade year but had to stop because I was taking too much and my doctor was worried that I would do permanent damage. Also that year I had trouble going to school, not feeling well, and hated having to use the bathroom at school. What made it a little easier was that one of my teachers actually had IBS so she was someone I could talk to if I was having a bad day.

This whole time my mom still thought I was faking it and somehow was just anxious,afraid, or worried about going to school. This went on until one day I flat out refused to go to school until she took me to the hospital to get an x-ray because of my serve abdominal pain I had been having.So we go to the hospital and after a lot of barium testing we find out that at 15 years old I have a malrotation of the small intestine (small and large intestine are twisted, common in newborns but very rare for anyone older than that). We are referred to a specalist at the childrens hospital and I have surgery 2 weeks later. I felt a little better after the surgery but was still having the IBS symptoms.

Finally in February of my Sophmore year the tests finally come back postive that I have Celiac (My doctors and I knew I would eventually get it because my mom and her mom both have it). I was happy to find out that I didn't have IBS and even though I would have to radically change my diet, I felt good knowing I had the actual diagnosis.

However, school was now a big issue. Since I had gone undiagnosed for 3 years my doctor said my case was pretty bad and it would take a while to heal. He suggested that I try to do something about the rest of the school year because he was concerned about me being able to go. I was exrememly anemic and my intestines were not in good shape (Everything fine now). So this is what we did. We came up with the plan for me to finish the last quarter of school (9 weeks) at home and send everything into school via email or my brother. However, at first, my counsleor and the school were less than thrilled. They didn't see how I couldn't go to school. It took a lot of work (Doctors notes explaining everything, and my parents having a conference with the principal and my counselor) but they finally agreed.

I did pretty much all of my school work by myself and had tutors for spanish and math. After a long summer I was finally ready to go back to school for my Junior year. My Junior year was great!!! I had the best attendance rate of all my high school career and the best grades. I even graduated high school a year early and I'm about to finish my first year of college!

Sorry for such a long post but I wanted to share my experience. I know your child may not feel well and you don't want them to suffer but everything will get better in the long run. They may still be healing which can cause problems and discomforts but everything will get back to normal I promise.

Even though I was better at the start of my Junior year I still had some doubts about everything. I still became sick a few times but nothing like before the diagnosis. I spent some time in the nurses office,went home for a few hours sometimes, but for the most part I made it through the day. Don't give up, encourage your child to go to school it will help them in the long run.

[chasing4]

When my dd started getting sick, she was throwing up multiple times a day and I didn't know what was causing it so I thought it best to keep her home from school. Our family doctor thought she was throwing up because she was coughing so bad because she had croup. Once we got her cough calmed down, she was still throwing up and I thought she was making herself throw up, so I still sent her to school. Now knowing what we do, I feel really bad I did that.

After she got diagnosed, there was one day she was complaining about her stomach so bad but I thought she should at least try school, but I told her if she didn't feel good after a little bit of school that I would pick her up. Thankfully, she never threw up and she made it the whole day. But I do kinda regret sending her that day too.

If I do keep her home, she knows she is supposed to either be in bed or on the couch. She is also not to be playing around when her sister gets home from school.

[Nic]

I would say you definitely need to find out the reason she is still having symptoms. Because if it were just gluten alone, than she should not be symptomatic. That being said, is she the kind of kid who is dramatic about being sick with colds and such? My nephew is the kind of kid who even with the slightest cold thinks he needs to stay home. So my sister enforced the no games or computers during the school day rule as well as no outside if you don't go to school and now he thinks twice before he insists on staying home. If she is not that type and she only complains when truly warranted then I think you are doing the right thing. No one can concentrate when they are feeling really bad.

Nicole

[OBXMom]

Yikes! It is Rice Dream that we use. Do you know of any safe brands? How do they get away with this?

The veggies in meat loaf is not a bad idea, I would just have to puree them so he won't know they are there. He eats cold rice cereals but won't eat any hot cereals. The suspicious little guy would never eat anything he wasn't totally sure about - he won't even trust me if I am not convincing enough that something is gluten free, so I think he is o.k. at school.

Thank you for all of the great thoughts. I'll try removing egg from his diet for a few days to see if that helps, then go from there.

[OBXMom]

Allie, what a difficult age to go through all of that. I appreciate you taking the time to share your story, it really does help to hear from someone who took a long time to heal, but still ended up doing so well. How you managed to skip a year after all of that is really impressive. Thank you for the encouragement, and good luck on exams.

[Ursa Major]

Yikes! It is Rice Dream that we use. Do you know of any safe brands? How do they get away with this?

Some people are okay with Rice Dream, but the very sensitive ones react. I am in Canada, so most brands are different. I am sure others here will give you specific brand names. You could also try almond milk, I think it really tastes nice, too.

[RiceGuy]

The veggies in meat loaf is not a bad idea, I would just have to puree them so he won't know they are there. He eats cold rice cereals but won't eat any hot cereals. The suspicious little guy would never eat anything he wasn't totally sure about - he won't even trust me if I am not convincing enough that something is gluten free, so I think he is o.k. at school.

That suggests to me that he's serious about his health. Only you know your child, but to me that doesn't sound like a child who'd exaggerate very much.

Carrots do go well in meatloaf, and they also go well in pies. Just Google carrot pie recipes and you'll get a number of them. Sweet potato pie is another, and of course pumpkin, which is a winter squash. Carrot cake (which is really a sweetbread) is always good too, as is zucchini bread. If you use Stevia in place of the sugar, these things can be far healthier than they'd be otherwise. I don't use dairy, so I usually add shredded coconut. In the blender it generally gets fairly smooth.

I really like Arrowhead Mills Rice & Shine hot cereal, and with that he can see the gluten-free statement on the label.

[allie h.]

Is it only veggies that he doesn't like? I have a fruit smoothie recipe that I really like. It is very quick and easy to make. It could be a good option for breakfast or an after school snack

Ingredients

1 ripe banana, sliced

1/2 cup raspberries

1/4 cup blueberries

1 1/2 teaspoons honey

1/2 cup unsweetened apple juice

1/2 cup ice

Directions

1. Place ingredients in the order listed in a blender. Pulse twice to chop the fruit, stir well, then blend until smooth. Serve immediately.

Nutrition Information

Per serving

Calories: 126

Carbohydrates: 33g

Fat: 0g

Saturated Fat: 0g

Monounsaturated Fat: 0g

Protein: 1g

Cholesterol: 0mg

Dietary Fiber: 5g

Potassium: 338mg

Sodium: 4mg

Nutrition Bonus: Vitamin C (25% daily value).