Not Sure What To Do

[msmini14]

Every year my company gives all employees and immediate family members a one night stay at the Omni Hotel and tickets to the Padres game. We have endless beer and hotdogs at the game, which I cant consume. I just need to know if it is wrong of me to not want to go this year? I have only been gluten-free for since Feb 08 and I still have trouble coping at social functions. It wont be the same as last year, I cant eat or drink. I will have to bring my own food which is not a problem, but I still have a hard time watching/smelling food that I cant have.

I went to dinner not long ago and they all wanted mexican food, which was my favorite. The flour tortillas looked soooo good, it took a lot for me not to cry that night.

I have already explained to my boss that I dont really want to go and she told me that I cant stop my life because I have Celiac. She just doesnt understand and what really sucks is that, its just FOOD. My whole life revolves around food now. No one gets it unless they have been/going through this.

Opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Jen

[aikiducky]

My opinion - it would be ok to not go this year, but make up your mind to go next year. By that time you'll have gotten used to the life change and it won't be so hard. But you really don't need to force yourself to do it all immediately I think.

Pauliina

[laurelfla]

I TOTALLY get what you're saying and I think you should skip it if that is what will make you feel better. Or spend the night at the hotel and then go shopping, or to a fabulous restaurant with a gluten-free menu! I know how you feel... and it gets better eventually... but after almost 3 years (in August), I still have bouts where I just get upset at things not being like they used to and not being able to eat what I want! Luckily, my husband is very understanding... except when we went bowling last weekend, he had the nerve to have a beer with everyone else!!! The pitcher was next to me on the table and it smelled sooo good. I was upset for a while, and then I went home, and last night I had my Budweiser Redbridge. (Things are so much easier when we're at home, aren't they? I never feel left out here!) I felt silly later for being irritated with him. Of course he can have a beer whenever he wants, he shouldn't stop himself because of me. We do have a line with pizza. He knows that not being able to eat it still killls me, so when we're over at someone's house and they order, he never partakes. He's one of the few people I know who truly gets how it can make me feel sometimes. Some people on this site may say that you and I are wallowing, but maybe food is just more important to you and me than it is to them. PM me if you ever want to rant! I'll listen!

Anyway, I feel your pain. Do whatever you need to do to feel okay. Those people like your boss will never get it... and they'll never have to. It sucks... But eventually you'll be able to list a host of good things that have come into your life by having to be gluten free. Hang in there.

[msmini14]

I look at this in a good way, I have to eat healthy, etc. Which I always have but now it is a very strict life long change. I appreciate your reply Laurelfla, it is nice to know that I am not the only one.

At least you dont have tempting food in your house lol. My roomate could care less, she leaves a mess of crumbs on the counter. Or a big piece of nice fluffy cake which drove me crazy.

I never ate all the bad stuff because I watched what I ate. I regret it now, I should have had that piece of cheesecake, big old carne asada burrito, ack drives me nuts.

So once I get myself under control I will make good gluten-free treats for myself =) Just wish I had someone to cook for besides myself, lol.

[home-based-mom]

Are you required to go? Remind your boss that if this is a requirement, they have to pay you!

Are the tickets just all together in a section, or in one of the private boxes. In the private boxes, they may be able to accommodate your needs. If you are all together in a section, crawling over each other and spilling things, yeah, it would be a lot harder.

Suggest to your boss that she go and not consume anything that you couldn't, all the while keeping in mind that for you, it's a health hazard.

Many people here have arrived at the place in time where they go for the social aspects and not the food, but I think that takes time that you haven't had yet.

I haven't ever been to Petco Park, but if it's anything Qualcomm it wouldn't even be safe to touch the seats, restroom surfaces, escalator rails or any other surface without getting contaminated. I think you have a right to stay home until you are more comfortable with this whole thing.

Put a new twist on that infamous sports saying, "Wait 'Til Next Year!"

[Phyllis28]

Many people here have arrived at the place in time where they go for the social aspects and not the food, but I think that takes time that you haven't had yet.

Missing a social event because I could not eat the food never even occured to me. Take what time you need to adjust but remember your social life will be limited until you are able to cope with other people eating gluten food.

[Greeneyes4950]

I went to dinner not long ago and they all wanted mexican food, which was my favorite. The flour tortillas looked soooo good, it took a lot for me not to cry that night.

I have already explained to my boss that I dont really want to go and she told me that I cant stop my life because I have Celiac. She just doesnt understand and what really sucks is that, its just FOOD. My whole life revolves around food now. No one gets it unless they have been/going through this.

I definately feel for you, mainly because it seems like i go through this on a daily basis. Like i was with my friend and she ate her cheese breadsticks in the car (which were my favorite) and prodded me to eat just "one." Which i couldn't, and didn't.

It gets easier. Well easier to resist, i have to say. Though i have to say, when i was at a restaurant the other week, hungry, and facing a plate of steamed broccoli and green beans, and the two people i was with were eating some pretty awesome looking food, i had a moment were i felt like crying. It doesn't seem fair sometimes.

I have to agree with your boss though, you can't stop your life. If anything, go, just so that you can get used to situations like this, because they will keep happening. I'm in college, which is hard. I live off campus, so i have to plan out what i'm going to eat, making sure i have enough to eat for the day, since i don't trust the dining center. my life too has a greater emphasis on food than it once did. Just remember it's all for a good cause, because food isn't worth feeling/being sick.

[Guest hightop girl]

I have only been gluten free since Aug. so it is still a bit of a challenge for me. Social gatherings were hard around the holidays, but it was kind of a "figure it out" or stay at home alone. I decided to go and figure it out. My birthday was a week ago and my husband took me to a Rockies game. I really only eat healthy stuff, but he knew that I would really like a piece of pizza, so he picked up a gluten free one from a great gluten free restaurant, and we ate it on the way to the game. I could have a rum and coke at the game, so i didn't feel like I was missing anything. Also... the Rockies serve Hebrew National hotdogs which are gluten free. I didn't have one, but it was incredible what a good slice of pizza did for my mood. I really have had to work at realizing that even though company social events always seem to have food and beer, it is the social part that I enjoy.

[Juliebove]

I don't have celiac, but I do have diabetes and food allergies. After I was diagnosed with diabetes, I refused to go to any knid of social thing that involved food. Not even the movies. I just couldn't handle that others around me could eat all kinds of food so carefree!

By the time I found out about my food allergies, things got easier. But there are still some things I will decline. Like a party on Sat., but for more reasons than just the food. It's far away and my husband plans to spend the night there, and although he said he would give us a ride home and then return, I can not be sure he will really do this. I fear he will try to talk us into staying and this is something I can not do. I need my meds and my insulin and I don't want to have to pack all this stuff there. Chances are, daughter and I can't eat anything there. She has food allergies as well. But in this case it is less of a food issue and more of a need to get back home by a certain time.

As for the ball game, I dislike sports so much that I don't even know what kind of sport the Padres play. I've never liked hot dogs or beer and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to go to the game. However, I might enjoy the hotel. Would it be possible for you to go just to the hotel and not the game? That way you could bring your own food with you and you'd know you could have a safe meal.

[gfgypsyqueen]

I agree that in the beginning the restricted diet really sucks. If you don't feel comfortable going this year, then don't go but plan a great trip for you that weekend. No staying home bored and upset about what you are missing. Your boss may get the idea of eating on a restricted diet, but they don't understand it fully. Since food and drinks are such a big part of our society and business, find a way to be comfortable requesting business functions at certain places so you can eat too. Getting used to packing your food and calling caterers is not my first choice either, but I do it becasue my kids have allergies and celiacs too. I refuse to stay home because of this disease and I try hard to show them that this disease and allergies cannot limit their life - only they can. So when things settle down a little and you get more comfortable with the diet, plan to go to everything whether or not food is involved. You'll kick yourself for missing a good party and it will be better for your career. Buy translation cards for the mexican restaurants. Higher end restaurants can usually handle the gluten-free diet. I recently found an expensive Mexican place near me and had chicken enchaladas which was a great treat for me. If needed, call or stop in to the restaurant before hand and figure out food options with a manager.

I agree with one of the other posters that you should at least go to the hotel and then go for a spa day or soemthing when everyone else goes to the game. If you decide to go to the game this year or next, buy a discreet tote bag cooler. Some look more like a handbag than a cooler. Pack it full of shrimp cocktail or some other really great snacks for you. You may not be able to enjoy the hotdogs on the buns, but you can pack some really great treats for you. Bring a sports bottle full of margarita's. The park might object to a flask of alcohol, but a sports bottle that looks like lemonade...noone will care (bring a Dr's note if needed).

Hope things go easier for you soon.

[Mango04]

It's not wrong to not want to go, but I honestly think you should go. It would be a good opportunity to learn how to cope in these types of situations....sort of like facing your fear type of thing... Bring some Redbridge and hotdogs and gluten-free hotdog buns and join in....you'll see eventually that it doesn't have to be too hard.

I haven't ever been to Petco Park, but if it's anything Qualcomm it wouldn't even be safe to touch the seats, restroom surfaces, escalator rails or any other surface without getting contaminated.

I'm from San Diego. It's absolutely possible to go to Petco Park (and Qualcomm) without getting contaminated.

[NorthernElf]

You are new to this whole celiac deal so cut yourself some slack. It does take a period of adjustment, some denial, some anger (!), and so forth. I've been dealing with it all for about 4 years now and I've gotten more comfortable with it. Sure, it still sucks - but it REALLY sucks to be sick, so one deals with it. It also sucks to miss out on events solely because of food.

If I was in your position I would go. Woohoo - free game and socializing ! I travel everywhere (hockey rink with the kids, outings, and yes, even restaurants) with a lunch kit style bag with a shoulder strap. I have gone to restaurants for breakfast and ordered milk & a bowl so I could eat my cereal. Hey, I'm with people who are eating full meals (and paying for them), so why not ? Anyway, I would just bring stuff to the game in a bag...he he, maybe even a small bottle of wine.

Again, give yourself time to adjust. There's no point going if you are going to be miserable.

My daughter has a disability (a form of dwarfism that makes her joints weak). Mentally, she's fine. We talk a lot about doing what we can do. Long distances (anything more than a block to half a block) are hard for her. She has a motorized chair, we also carry her sometimes in a backpack. She gets to go hiking (well, we hike, she's in the pack!), shopping, goes on field trips, etc. Yes, she needs some mobility aides so she's not quite as "free" as her peers but she still gets to go & see things. Anyway, the point is that we focus on being able to do some with modification, versus having to miss out altogether. Sometimes I view celiacs like that too. I have to modify and sometimes go without, but I can still enjoy the experience or company.