Deciding Not To Pass The Gene?

[WhimsiKay]

This came up in conversation the other day between hubby and I, and again between friends and I, and I was just wondering if anyone out there has simply decided not to have children to avoid passing on Celiac to a child?

I'd be interested to hear your story/thoughts, or anyone's thoughts, really. =)

Sort of open-ended, I know.

[CarlaB]

Thirty percent of the general public has the celiac gene. One percent has celiac disease. That means roughly three percent of those with the gene develop the disease. I would not let it impact my decision to have or not have children.

[ShayFL]

We ALL have genes that can have negative health consequences (if triggered). Unless there is a perfect family out there that has never had a single disease all the way back through generation after generation where everyone just dies of old age by taking a nap at 90 and never wakes up....

If I knew I had some weird gene that could make my child be born without a functioning brain, or with some horrific disease, then I might consider adoption. But Celiac is treatable anyway. So even if your child has the genes, gets triggered and gets dx celiac.....you know the cure.

[Nancym]

I can provide you with many valid excuses not to have children, but this wouldn't be one of them.

First of all, the genes are very, very common. In fact, they probably haven't identified all the genes yet so it is probably a huge portion of the population with the potential to have issues with gluten.

Then just because you get a celiac gene doesn't mean it'll become your destiny. Environmental factors seem to trigger it. Look up "epigenetics" sometime. Fascinating stuff.

Anyway, if you're looking to not have kids and need something to tell the your parents, then I would suggest just learning to say "No, this is not something we want" and stiffening your spine. You can explain or not. For me, I wanted to be free to do whatever I pleased and well... having kids robs you of that for 20 years or more.

It's ok not to reproduce! Someone else will more than likely make up for what you don't do.

[munkee41182]

My fiance has kidney disease, I have celiac, Cancer runs rampant on both sides of our families, heart disease as well. We're still going to have kids, and we even joke that we're having kids so we can harvest more kidneys for my fiance incase he ever ends up needing a transplant (or more than one) lol. Just because you have celiac, or the gene for it, doesn't mean that you should avoid having kids.

[blueeyedmanda]

This would never stop me from having children! My kids if it comes out they have celiac will be tested early and on the diet and will be living a normal life. Children are such a blessing and I cannot punish myself in letting that joy slip by.

[Ursa Major]

I have multiple intolerances, and it looks like all five of my children and all of my grandchildren have inherited at least some of them (and most of them are gluten intolerant, too). But on the whole, they are a healthy, beautiful bunch. All are highly intelligent and gorgeous (yes, I can say that, people who aren't part of my family will comment on how beautiful my kids and grandkids are frequently).

What a shame it would be if I wouldn't have had my kids because of my health problems!

Now I have read of families who had one kid after another with a deadly disease that would kill them before they were ten. Both parents carried the gene and still they kept having those kids. I think that is awful, and they should have adopted instead. But not having kids because of intolerances? No way, you can avoid those foods and be healthy, if you are aware of them!

[cruelshoes]

My son with celiac is one of the most delightful kids you will ever meet (all 3 of my kids are great, but he is a gem). His dietary restrictions make him uniquely compassionate to struggles that other people have. He really cares about making sure everyone feels included and is treated the same. Celiac has brought so many good things into our lives. We have made good friends, eaten good food, and learned about what we are made of. Yes, it's a pain in the kiester a lot of the time. But there is more good than bad for us.

Our first 2 kids were born before I was diagnosed. When we were thinking about a third, it never even crossed our minds not to have another baby because of celiac. When I was pregnant with her, the doctors said that she very likely had downs syndrome, and gently told us that it would be OK if we chose to terminate the pregnancy. I told them to shove it, that she was my daughter, and I would love her no matter what conditions she happened to be born with. She was born without Downs, and so far has not developed celiac. But if she does, we will deal with it just like we do with my son.

Kids are a mixed bag, and you never know what you are going to get. I guess each person's situation is different, but choosing not to have kids because of celiac would not have been right for us.

[TrillumHunter]

I'm happy to be alive even though I have it! I didn't find out I had it until after I had my three but I wouldn't change it--and they all three have the gene.

[munchkinette]

I have decided not to have children for a number of reasons. One of those is all the health problems I have- not just because I don't want to pass on those genes, but because I need to take care of my own health before I can take care of someone else's health. I can't have a kid with so many fatigue issues.

I actually have several additional reasons for not having kids (i.e. I just don't want them), but health is a factor.

[Adelle]

I would never have considered not having children simply because they could have Celiac. I mean, people shouldn't be eating gluten anyway (celiac or not, it's just bad for you!), so what real difference does it make?

We are, unfortunately, learning the hard way that just because someone WANTS children, doesn't mean that they get to have them.

[GlutenGalAZ]

My husband and I are still up in the air about kids. We got married when we were 21/22 and said that we would talk about kids when we were 27/28ish mainly b/c at the time we were yes and then no. We decided in the mean time we would go on vacations, camping etc (our time) have fun. As the years went by though I have started to notice more and more health problems and I am honestly scared about having kids. I have talked to my gyno and dr about if I could have complications with having a kid due to my heart problems.

About a year after being married I started to have chest pains, passed out couple of times and was dizzy a lot. I found out after tests that I have tachyarrhythmia (fast pulse) so I now take medicine and have made changes in my daily life, this is from my mom's side and she is way worse than I. I have a knee problem which I think is from my dad's side as well as the gluten intolerance. The way I feel all the time and other health issues and reasons we just don't want to bring a child into the world and have them have the same problems or worse. I know how I feel and I would feel awful if I passed on health problems especially heart problems to my child (mine started about 20 years sooner than my mom's but aren't as bad and I hope everyday that they don't get as bad). At this time in our life we don't want to have kids for health reasons and some other reasons. We still talk about it off and on and figure that we are still young so we have time.

I am happy though b/c I have three older brothers that all have kids and we get to be the fun Aunt and Uncle.

One of my dr's told me if it happends, it happends you can't stop time and things that you are doing to have kids they just happen.

[WhimsiKay]

Very enlightening, thank you.

I want to go on record to say that there's no pressure to be had in any direction; it was just an element to a couple conversations that I figured I'd ask here about. Being the first in my family to be diagnosed (or even suspected, for that matter), I don't have the knowledge to draw on from close members of my family, so you're all it.