Can't Even Enjoy Thanksgiving- Staying Home

[jasonD2]

Some of my friends are having Thanksgiving and invited me to join...gonna be a group of 16 people. I wont be able to eat anything there and its not like I can tell them which ingredients to use cause the world doesnt revolve around me. So I'm staying home and eating plain chicken, steamed rice and green beans...the same exact friggin meal I eat every damn day. What a great life I have!

[jerseyangel]

Jason,

Why don't you pack up your chicken dinner and take it to the gathering? As long as you have a plate of food in front of you and are engaging in conversation, I'll bet no one will take much notice.

We're going to our son's for Thanksgiving dinner--he lives in Jersey and we'll be driving over from PA. I made a turkey breast, candied yams, stuffing and veggies yesterday. I froze a dinner for myself to take to dinner on Thursday. I also plan to take a gluten-free veggie side dish, cranberry-orange relish and a gluten-free dessert to share.

There will be about a dozen of us there. When the food is being put on the table, I will take a plate and go into the kitchen and heat and plate my dinner. I did this last year, and it was fine--the important thing is that I was among friends and family for Thanksgiving dinner. My food didn't match everyone's exactly, and it didn't matter one bit!

Hope you decide to go--have a happy holiday

[ShayFL]

Im going to a friend's house. There will be about 12 people there. I wont be able to eat ANYTHING there. So I will be taking my own baked chicken and veggies so I can enjoy the company of my good friends who know and love me and couldnt care less if I bring my own food. I did the same for a Halloween party and for Fourth of July. Everytime it has worked out great and I feel so good that I got out and didnt hermitize myself.

[jasonD2]

It wont be fun for me If I go cause I'll be the odd person and I will be looking at all the great food I cant eat so I wont be able to enjoy myself

[flourgirl]

Any day is what you make it, and I'm sure no one there would consider you to be the odd man out...except yourself. We are not going out, either. What we decided was to invite some friends here, so that I can control the food. There will be foods that I can't eat and that's fine. For me it's not about the food. It's friendship, love and celebrating all that we have to be thankful for. Like so many here...I had to go through an attitude adjustment about foods. It's such a small part of my life anyway...my happiness does not hinge on my tiny set of taste buds. There are just way too many choices and options...about food, about life, about anything. I choose good health, a few good friends, and to focus on those things that make me and my loved ones happy.

I really don't mean to lecture....as I'm sure this isn't what you need. I can sympathize, as we all can. I guess I mean to urge you to look at the larger picture....not just about Thanksgiving but for everyday. I hope this helps....even a little bit. Why not try it out..bring your own and maybe a little to share? Focus on the fellowship. You may just surprise yourself into a great time!

[missy'smom]

I encourage you to go and bring your own food. I have and would bring my own food. It's not always "fun" or "enjoyable" like it used to be but it's better for me to get out and be around people and observe traditions. I might not have the best time at the time but I never regret it later and am always glad I made the effort and sometimes enjoy it better than I expected. I'm hosting a Thanksgiving potluck for 20 this year and won't be able to eat much of anything, even things I make myself, due to diabetes. I can't even just sit and relax after I eat, I have to move around for a while otherwise my blood glucose goes up too much. I'm making turkey for everyone that I can eat and a quinoa pilaf that I'll eat a small portion of and share the rest and probably a steamed veg. for myself. My kiddo is going to have the same sort of simple menu of his own, because I'm not up to making a million individual things. I did make a dessert in individual portions so he'll have something special. If someone brings a gelatin or cranberry sauce, I'll snatch some for him before everyone goes through the line. Can we help you figure out a way to make/or buy a varied meal for one?

[Jestgar]

I enjoy going to people's houses and being a PITA. Looking forward to having my sister-in-law throw potholders at me after I ask for the millionth time "Can I read the label?"

[Jestgar]

Also meant to say that I'm making my own Thanksgiving meal on a different day so I can eat whatever I want and freeze the rest.

[sbj]

It wont be fun for me If I go cause I'll be the odd person and I will be looking at all the great food I cant eat so I wont be able to enjoy myself

Jason - you need to stop for a minute and think about what Thanksgiving means. It has nothing to do with food or turkey or fun or being the odd man out.

Thanksgiving is about being thankful in spite of difficulties!

"The Plymouth colony lost half its population its first year. Can you imagine losing half your population and still being thankful to God for the good things He does for you ? Are you genuinely grateful to your Creator for all the good things you have, in spite of the difficult circumstances you may have experienced?"

Perhaps if you concentrate on all of the things you can be thankful for, instead of all the crap you have to endure, you can celebrate this holiday according to its true meaning. It's a day to thank God for your blessings. Believe me, you are blessed. For one thing, someone is thankful for you - they invited you to give thanks with them! Do them the favor of showing up with your own food and giving thanks for having them in your life. You are here on this earth - that's something to be thankful for. You have this forum of strangers who are trying to help you - that's something to be thankful for.

Meditate for a while on everything that you can be thankful for despite your difficulties. I think that will make it clear that you should go to the party and give tru thanks even if you do have to eat the same old food as every other day. Thanksgiving is one day to forget about your hardships and to give thanks.

[ShayFL]

Very well said sbj.

Jason, I have seen your posts for a long time now, and understandably, I can see you suffer from a form of depression. For whatever reason, you have not sought out professional help. It took me awhile too.

In the meantime, I can highly recommend a book by Louise Hay. She is an amazing human being and her personal story is very inspirational. This book below really helped me. I still read some of it everyday. She started out helping AIDS patients back in the 80's when everyone treated them like they had leprosy and that the disease was a death sentence. She has helped so many people live healthy lives. You can too. You can get one used for 7 bucks:

http://www.(Company Name Removed - They Spammed This Forum and are Banned)/You-Heal-Your-Life-Gift/dp/1561706280

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I think about the 8 million people who were slaughtered in the concentration camps. Most of them were lucky if they had one meal a day--a piece of bread made with SAND and watery soup made from kitchen garbage.

They would have considered themselves lucky indeed to have chicken, rice, and green beans.

I agree with Shay--you do sound like you are terribly depressed. You may need vitamin supplements, you may need to get outside and get vitamin D from the sun (or cold clouds!), you may even need some kind of medication (which I usually think of as unnecessary, but in some cases, I do believe it can help). Depression is also very common with low thyroid.

Either way, I do think you need to talk with a doctor about it, but finding a decent one who doesn't throw you on so much meds that you are comatose, or one who doesn't tell you it's all in your head--well that can be awfully difficult.

Have any of your friends or acquaintances ever had to deal with depression? Might any of them be able to recommend an intelligent, caring doctor who would run tests to find out WHY you are depressed (it's usually some kind of chemical balance, after all--low thyroid, vitamin deficiency, etc.)?

[Jenny (AZ via TX)]

Jason, please go to your friend's house. Pack up your dinner and bring it with you. Your friends must care a lot about you to invite you over for Thanksgiving.

I'm doing the same thing. We're invited over to a friend's house every year for Thanksgiving. This year she is doing it on Friday. (My first gluten free Thanksgiving) So, hubby and I are cooking dinner for Thursday for his parents including a few gluten things (not for me). I will take leftovers for me to my friend's house on Friday. Hubby will get to eat every thing he wants. I'll also bring lots of snacks so I don't feel deprived when I can't have their gluten desserts. Actually the hardest part is not being able to eat the bread!

But, I will be able to visit and laugh with friends and that is what it's all about. So, please go and have fun.

[gfpaperdoll]

Hi Jason, run down to the store or Walgreens & get yourself a bottle of Nature Made B12, 1,000mcg & start taking one after lunch & dinner. I am not saying this is the best B12 to take, but it is handy & cheap & will do for the time being. No one that is depressed can think right to be checking out vitamins. You need some hand holding! then find some Carlson's vitamin D, 2,000mcg & take at least one a day of those - or maybe two. I order mine from Vitacost, $7.00 a bottle & they deliver in about 3 days.

Then yes, get some professional guidance. & some blood work done on those vitamins & mineral levels.

Quit mooning over some old girlfriend & get a new one. If you are a nice young man there are a lot of women out there looking for you. Have you signed up on the single gluten-free dating site? I think there is one somewhere. Quit feeling bad about being gluten-free & heck use it to find a girl. Talk to all the women in the grocery store - all of them, some of us old ladies have single daughters & nieces...Going to the doctor? ask them if they have any young people your age who are gluten-free. Okay you did not ask but here are my ideas for finding a nice young woman:

go to church

take a class

take a dance class

join a hiking group

prowl the grocery store, get to know the checkers

find a local support group

volunteer - anywhere -

go to the library - get to know the librarians

outlet malls

get to know your neighbors

hang out at the local museums, attractions, take a book, a sketch pad etc.

borrow someone's dog & take it for a walk - okay people really do this...

Get your hair cut at a place that also does women's hair & get to know everyone

take a photography class

Take any class that you think girls would like - not going to find many in shop tools 101.

If all that fails, find the local scrapbook store & hang out there & ask some single girl to help you learn how to scrapbook - for your mom...

Now for the next problem, food. Boy, I can tell you do not know how to cook. Just like a guy that I used to know that was gluten-free but his wife wasn't & she had no idea how to cook gluten-free & really was not interested in learning, so he did without. Okay, say ten thank yous that you are not in that mess.

What you need are some hands on cooking lessons. See if you can find someone that is a good gluten-free cook that will swap cooking lessons for odd chores etc. or dishwashing !!!! Hopefully that is where the support group comes in. If not you need to be on here finding out where everyone lives. Now if you are close to Texas we are all about good food.

Next, list all the foods that you CAN eat on here & we can come up with some things for you. I will be shocked if you have half the limitations that I do & I eat very well.

Pack your plate for Thanksgiving, say gobble gobble, three times, leave the house & go to your friends house for the fellowship. smile when you get there so they will know that you are happy to see them!

REMEMBER YOUR LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU & 90% ATTITUDE. oops did not mean for it to be in all caps, oh well...

[Juliebove]

I don't have celiac but I do have diabetes and also food allergies. When I was first diagnosed, I wouldn't go anywhere where food was involved. I thought like you did. I would get angry with people around me eating all the things that I couldn't.

Then I finally realized that each person has their own set of problems. Those people might be able to eat whatever they want. But they have other problems to deal with that you don't.

I eventually started venturing out. For an event like you've been invited to, I would bring my own food. I wouldn't have chicken though. I would have turkey. I would just get a small package of sliced (safe) turkey. But then I like that stuff and I don't much like chicken. If you prefer chicken, have that. You could make a baked potato or a small amount of mashed potatoes. Something different than what you usually have. You can get pre-made mashed potatoes these days. Not sure if they are gluten-free or not. I'm allergic to dairy so I could never eat those. I haven't read the ingredients.

If I were you, I would take my own food and maybe something safe to share.

[nutrifoodie]

Don't feel so alone! We ALL struggle with this. For me, this year will be different. I am away from home in California at school. I won't have access to my pantry and my safe kitchen to cook things at. Instead of staying on campus and wallowing in my room (because of my food intolerances), I am going over to my friend Stephanie's for the break. I won't be able to eat anything that they make either. But I am going to buy some pans, and cook something for myself there. Something simple... a sweet pototo, quinoa and pumpkin, raw spinach on the side, and some turkey breast. She has lovingly offered up her home and her friendship, and it's been a blessing. She will take me to the store and make sure I have food to eat Most people deep down inside realize that food connects us, no matter what we can or cannot eat. So alert your friends of your intolerances, and bring your own meal If they give you a hard time, they are not worth having as friends. Zap it in the microwave and HAVE FUN! Food does not have to be the focus (something I struggle much with).. and especially at Thanksgiving, being with others and recognizing how much God has blessed us with, and what a wonderful country we live in (if you live in the USA) and how the Pilgrims got us here. Pack up that food, and ENJOY Turkey Day!

[darlindeb25]

Any day is what you make it, and I'm sure no one there would consider you to be the odd man out...except yourself. We are not going out, either. What we decided was to invite some friends here, so that I can control the food. There will be foods that I can't eat and that's fine. For me it's not about the food. It's friendship, love and celebrating all that we have to be thankful for. Like so many here...I had to go through an attitude adjustment about foods. It's such a small part of my life anyway...my happiness does not hinge on my tiny set of taste buds. There are just way too many choices and options...about food, about life, about anything. I choose good health, a few good friends, and to focus on those things that make me and my loved ones happy.

Perfect, exactly how I feel.

[GlutenWrangler]

Jason,

Honestly, I would kill to be able to have some chicken, rice, and beans. But I can't eat. I'm fed through in IV, and it's been that way for almost a year and a half now. Imagine what it's like to not have a single piece of food for almost 18 months.

But if I'm able to enjoy and make the best of Thanksgiving, there's no doubt that you can. You have the option to spend Thanksgiving with friends, and you should take it. It's not that hard to bring your food with you, and when you're talking and having a good time, you'll forget about the food that you can't have. Just put yourself out there and try to have a good time. I'm sure you'll be happy you did.

-Brian

[MollyBeth]

Jason!!!

Carpe Diem Buddy!! This is it. You have to live everyday to the fullest. This is your life. When you are 60 years old do you want to look back and say you spent your days alone because you had dietary restrictions? Think about what you will miss out on. I understand if you are depressed. I've been there. I went to a counsler and through work I got better. If you want change in your life it has to come from wthin.

Go have dinner with your friends. Sit around the table with them. Tell stories. Tell jokes. LAUGH!!! After dinner play cards or watch football. You'll feel better.

[mysecretcurse]

Some of my friends are having Thanksgiving and invited me to join...gonna be a group of 16 people. I wont be able to eat anything there and its not like I can tell them which ingredients to use cause the world doesnt revolve around me. So I'm staying home and eating plain chicken, steamed rice and green beans...the same exact friggin meal I eat every damn day. What a great life I have!

I understand. SO so much. I'm crying right now as I write this post.. I'll never understand what we did to deserve this.. have no answers but I wanted to offer a *hug*

Honestly, I would kill to be able to have some chicken, rice, and beans. But I can't eat. I'm fed through in IV, and it's been that way for almost a year and a half now. Imagine what it's like to not have a single piece of food for almost 18 months.

!!!! Can I ask why? I'm so sorry...

[DingoGirl]

It wont be fun for me If I go cause I'll be the odd person and I will be looking at all the great food I cant eat so I wont be able to enjoy myself

WHAT???????????? Don't look at it this way!!!!!

Everyone has given wonderful advice. My gosh, don't let a food restriction take away your joy and fellowship! I bring my own food, on this day, and practically everywhere. I would never think to inconvenience anyone by my restrictions, and I would never isolate myself because of this! Bring your chicken dinner, or whatever you decide, don't talk about it, don't make a big deal of it, just eat, and enjoy whom you are with.

Go and give thanks for your friends/family and......what you CAN do.....it DOES suck that we can't eat what everyone else is eating but.......we can do this! we CAN manage!!!

You do sound sad, Jason....I've been there. For decades. There is help for that, of many kinds.

Brian - - I had no idea you were sustained by IV. That is really tough. God bless you, and your attitude.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

[JNBunnie1]

You know, I went to my boyfriend's family's thanksgiving dinner yesterday, and brought myself a big bowl of chicken noodle soup (which was bangin, by the way).

I could have spent the time feeling bad because I couldn't have what they were having. But you know what they were having? Storebought stuffing. Storebought rolls. Mashed potatoes. Green bean casserole with storebought cream soup. Gravy from a can. Funky broccoli casserole with storebought processed cheese on top. Storebought pies, storebought ice cream. The only thing made from scratch was the turkey and the tatoes.

You know what I'm making for me and my family tomorrow? Awesome turkey. Homemade gluten-free stuffing. Homemade gluten-free crescent rolls. Homemade Chebe rolls. Butternut squash/sweet potato casserole with marshmallows. Garlic mashed potatoes. Homemade gravy. Fresh garlic green beans. Sweet corn. Baked carrots. Organic cranberry sauce. Pumpkin pie, Pecan pumpkin pie. Key lime pie. Maybe some cheesecake.

Doesn't that sound better?

I had a blast yesterday!

[SGWhiskers]

Jason,

I hope you had happy Thanksgiving whether you were out with friends or cozy at home.

It is so hard to get out and do something when you are feeling down. I've struggled with depression for 15 years. I've been between functional and half heartedly considering suicide. I've been up and down all through that time. At any stage of the disease, when people told me to get up and go do someting or to look on the bright side of life, it was a joke to me. I just didn't have the energy or the ability to do those things no matter how hard I tried. The worse the depression, the harder it was to engage in healthy behaviors.

The few little things I did that started me on an upward spiral were to admit I was depressed, tell a few close friends I needed help, get my butt to a psychiatrist for antidepressants, and start counseling. I needed my fiance and best friends to help me do those things, but eventually, things started getting a little better. If you don't like your psychologist, get a new one. You must find a connection with him/her. The psychiatrist is also likely to start you on an older less effective drug because that is what the insurance will want him to do. Every body is different, so one may work or it may not. It may have side effects (mine were always sleepiness), it may be magic for you. Keep trying meds until you find the one that works for you. Always call the company to make sure they are gluten-free.

I never felt like visiting friends, and cancelled or no showed all the time until I found "my" antidepressant. Now, I long for those old friends to call and hang out. Now, the world is sunnier and my thoughts are less bleak. My body is physically happier. The vitamins I've been taking have only added to the feeling of wellishness. I'm still a bit depressed, and the economy and our job situations have me up at nights lately, but there is this internal trust that I can put one foot in front of the other and go forward. Before, I knew that there were walls all around stopping me and I couldn't imagine how to move half an inch towards better.

There is another, happier you hidden by depression and or gluten poisoning. As hard as confessing that you need help is, you will be living a better life years from now if you ask for it. My loved ones dragged me kicking and screaming towards health when I needed it most. I was a PITA for them, but we are all better for it.

I wish you the best for this winter. I know I find that the time from January through March is the worst for me every year. I do usually feel better if I can get out of the house and get some freezing cold sunshine.

Wishing you health and friendship

SGWhiskers

[Judyin Philly]

Dear Jason

I was thinking of you yesterday!

I hope you'll post and let us all know what you decided to do with your day.

Brian, glad you posted and hope your feeling alittle better since we last talked

Will look forward to hearing from you Jason

Judy

[flourgirl]

Hi Jason! I, too, stopped hoping for a post from you about your Tbird Day. Am seriously hoping that you decided to just enjoy what you can and not worry about the rest! Did you have a decent day? Please drop a note here...I know there are many who care, even if they don't write in. Hope things are looking up for you soon.

[Melissa76]

Some of my friends are having Thanksgiving and invited me to join...gonna be a group of 16 people. I wont be able to eat anything there and its not like I can tell them which ingredients to use cause the world doesnt revolve around me. So I'm staying home and eating plain chicken, steamed rice and green beans...the same exact friggin meal I eat every damn day. What a great life I have!

Hi there, I am new to the forum and new to discovering that I have gluten allergy. I am personally overwhelmed about how much this is affecting my life. No one gets it. It is nice that we can vent on a site like this and have people understand that food is AWESOME and we can't eat it! Also, American social society is based around it. It isn't easy to be the odd one out.

I just want you to know that I think you are awesome just for being strong enough to resist eating it. I can't even do that. If staying away from a situation helps you be healthy-- good for you!

It is the Saturday after and I made it. The dinner I went to the people were very supportive! I think the word is getting out!

Melissa