Workplace And Celiac

[mef]

Hi All,

I'm new to this forum, so I apologize if this thread has already been hashed out! I was diagnosed about a year ago with Celiac and after about 3 months of denial (I was a pastaholic growing up) I finally became fully gluten-free. Best diet choice I could make. I still have some bad days, but 90% of the time, I feel great.

I was diagnosed while in college and am now pursuing a graduate degree. For me, college was a fairly protective, tolerant environment to those who needed to be gluten-free, but I am now getting ready to start work. I wanted to ask how you all have handled being gluten-free and working at the same time. While it seems to be a simple answer, I had an experience this past summer that was awful. I worked in a large corporate environment where going out to lunch together was the norm. So much of my work focused on the social aspects of meals that it was hard for me to be a full joiner. Even after I explained my condition and dietary needs, I would have people brush it off or still pressure me to eat gluten foods. All I could think was that if I could go into anaphylactic shock, this would be so much easier!

While some of the people appeared to be compassionate, when being picky about a restaurant became inconvenient to them, the situation drastically changed. As the summer progressed, I began to feel isolated as I was excluded from social events and later felt like a third wheel on project teams. For conferences, even though I would list my dietary needs, there would never be a gluten-free meal for me or anything I could pick apart. I became quite stealthy in hiding food around the hotel in case of emergencies. I understand that having celiac means you need to become adaptible and flexible, especially in social gatherings, but I felt like I was in a constant battle between my career and my health--health won.

While I hope that my experience/situation is not one that happens frequently, I wanted to hear from you all about it. Any tips or ideas for being gluten-free while working?

Thanks for all of your help and just listening--it's great to have a voice where others know exactly how you feel.

[*lee-lee*]

what field of work are you in? was your summer job just for the summer, like an internship or something? it could be just the way that particular company was but not necessarily the norm.

i started the diet the week i moved and began working from home. i've now been unemployed for a few months now so i've never had to take my gluten-free lifestyle into the office but i'll have to sooner or later. (i'm hoping to find a job soon...unemployment is getting boring!)

in all of my previous jobs, eating out was never a big thing. we did have our fair share of luncheons though, where food was ordered in. i guess in that instance, i'd notify the organizer i wouldn't be eating their food and just bring my own to the lunchroom or eat at my desk before hand. depending on the company, they may have offered to order a separate meal that i could eat (salad or whatever).

i'd suggest if you're obligated or required to dine out with co-workers, try and eat something before you go and just order a salad or "naked" meat at the restaurant. if you have a desk, fill up the drawers with snacks to munch on throughout the day so you don't have to focus so much on the meal when you go out.

i will never understand why people can't accept that when someone says "i can't have that" it means I CAN'T HAVE THAT! i get that people forget (and they should, it's not their responsibility to remember ) but why must they press us to "just have a bite"? they certainly wouldn't encourage someone with a peanut allergy to have a PBJ sandwich!

[emcmaster]

I don't think my answer is going to be popular, but here it goes.

I suck it up. I go out with the group and don't eat. I order coffee or hot tea and make conversation.

If we're traveling, I make sure that somehow I get a rental and drive myself to a grocery store where I buy food for the week. Or we stop by Starbucks a couple times a day and I live on nonfat lattes and the fruit cups.

Bottom line is most people don't understand the disease and can't understand how important it is that we be completely gluten-free.

[ang1e0251]

I am no longer in a situation like you described but occasionally still have to eat at a group function. I sat hungry once or twice then decided I would never do that again. I take my own meal no matter what. I will peruse the offerings first and eat if I can, but if not, out comes my meal. I don't apologize for it or feel funny any more. I have a serious medical condition and everyone doesn't need to know the details of my medical history. Most won't comment, some may ask and I can just say I have some serious food allergies or my dr has me on a very strict diet. If you don't make a big deal out of it, they won't either. Answer q's w/confident short answers then calmly complement someone else and the conversation will change away from you.

[kbtoyssni]

This may depend on your line of work, but company culture plays a big part in this. At my current job people rarely go out to eat - it's the norm to eat together in the cafeteria so I can bring my own food just like 25% of my coworkers. I'm trying to think of a clever way to ask this question in an interview - maybe something like "do coworkers socialize during work hours like eating lunch together?" Or a joking "how's the cafeteria food?" that would probably give you a good idea if people eat it often. The benefit of me bringing my own food everyday is my coworkers see what I eat, know it's gluten-free, and realize that it's not weird food. They're more curious than anything else.

[tarnalberry]

I also go and just don't eat if there isn't anything obvious that's safe. (I'll eat ahead of time, though.) If YOU are HIGHLY CONFIDENT about the choices you make regarding the food you put in your system (and aren't a blushing wallflower about it), they will pick up those signals and won't try to bully you about it. It might not be what you're used to doing, but practice!

[mysecretcurse]

These people sound like total SH*THEADS if you ask me. Pressuring you to have "just one bite"? WTF??? You don't need to go into shock for gluten to threaten your life. Make these people aware that damage from gluten CAN kill you.

All my friends and family have always been supportive as possible. They don't understand it, and often times HAVE tried to serve me gluten foods and what not, but not on purpose, they just don't understand it. Being so innsuportive of something like this is seriously disgusting.

I think our illness is our assignment in life, and so is educating people about it. If people are going to be scum to me, I'd personally want nothing to do with them. Then again I'm an unemployed starving artist so what the hell do I know about navigating the office politics of the corporate world. That's not my world and it never will be.

If you HAVE to mingle with these people I guess just go and don't eat anything, but I know that would be impossible for me. I'd be too bitter about being left out and I like to eat too much so I probably wouldn't be good company anyway. I admire those of you who can pull it off.

[Sinenox]

I don't think my answer is going to be popular, but here it goes.

I suck it up. I go out with the group and don't eat. I order coffee or hot tea and make conversation.

If we're traveling, I make sure that somehow I get a rental and drive myself to a grocery store where I buy food for the week. Or we stop by Starbucks a couple times a day and I live on nonfat lattes and the fruit cups.

Bottom line is most people don't understand the disease and can't understand how important it is that we be completely gluten-free.

I am in an environment very much like that described above and unfortunately "suck it up" doesn't tend to apply where social gatherings of this nature are concerned, at least for some of us. Going out and not eating is great - but can you do it twice a day and eat in your office without people taking exception? Many of us are too young to rent a car and often meals are provided instead of a per diem. It's frankly a lot like drinking. If you're at the bar with everyone and you're not drinking - even if there's a perfectly good reason - everyone else tends to get a bit uncomfortable. Still going and not eating makes you the interloper and that can be lethal to your career in certain lines of work. I would desperately like a good behavioral answer to this question. It's been a big problem for me as well. When I bring my own food people get upset and when I confront the secretary about considering some gluten free fare (little of which exists around here) she tells me that one person is not enough to inconvenience the rest for where meals are concerned. Tarnalberry's suggestion about confidence has helped me sometimes. I just wish there were some kind of magical social meme that could improve this situation.

[ang1e0251]

I agree with other posters who have pointed out that if you couldn't eat pork for religious reasons, your company would not give you a hard time about it. Religious reasons carry a lot of weight. Also if you were diabetic they would fall all over themselves to accomodate you. I think the Americans with Disabilities kicks in there.

That being said, I'm not one to draw that kind of attention to myself. I just try to take care of myself and not expect others to understand or accommodate me. I never was into the politics when I worked for a company of that size and still don't like it. It would be interesting to know if your company lists you as disabled in their reports on personnel. I was shocked one day when I happened to see an affirmative action report on management in the store I worked in. They routinely claimed me as Hispanic because my married name was. I didn't mind the distinction but I was appalled that they claimed to fill a "quota" because of me. It was like they didn't have to hire a deserving minority person because they claimed me. If your company claims you as a disabled person, they must accommodate your disability in certain ways.

Frankly, I was never moved to go to that much trouble because I felt I would get nowhere. But I suppose the ADA covers celiac also and is an avenue to pursue for anyone who chooses to.

[elonwy]

I work at a place with an almost full kitchen. We are served breakfast, have a fully stocked fridge of snacks, sandwich fixings, etc and lunch is ordered in every day. When I first started here I told them not to worry about it, but they insisted I be included. They order me gluten-free cereal on the grocery delivery, and make sure that I get included on the lunch order, or if I go get it myself I get paid back for it. Its kind of unusual, but if they feed us we don't leave the building When we have catered employee parties they always make a separate plate of goodies for me at whatever location we are at. I also work with a few vegans and vegetarians, and they are bought things as well.

I never expected them to be so cool with it. My old job just went "ok you can take care of yourself". If people get questiony I just tell them I have severe food allergies, and that's the end of it. I'll explain to my friends and people that might get it and really need to know what Celiac is, as far as everyone else is concerned, I have allergies, because they can't really argue with that. If they give you crap after that, they're jerks.

I honestly think that it is all about attitude. If its not a big deal to you and you're confident with it, like tarnalberry said, then there is no opening for doubt or stupid jerks. I do not see this as an insurmountable obstacle.

I also have a desk drawer full of nuts and larabars and emergency rations

[JNBunnie1]

I have found that the confident "I can't have gluten (explain what it is when questioned) and here's my food, how's yours?" works great. We don't go out, but when someone does notice it's usually jealousy because my food's way cooler than the cafeteria food. I honestly have trouble understanding a work culture that would hassle you about your food choices, then hassle you about the consequences of what they pressured you into doing. I'd just start keeping my own food with me everywhere, buy a little cooler, figure out some non perishables that tote easily. If you are able to see this as non-negotiable, then your coworkers will have no choice. I honestly can't imagine a job where you HAVE to eat 'their' food unless you're a restaurant critic.

[blueeyedmanda]

I always bring my own food when we are having gatherings inside the hospital, lectures and such. When we do venture outside which due to the growth of my office is not frequent these days I opt for a plain salad.

When we have pot-lucks I make gluten free main dishes and desserts, and they eat them right up. When they like things alot like those flourless peanut butter chocolate chip cookies I make them on sunday night and bring them into share.

I have had good luck at my conferences, we are able to dine on our own for some, and the last one had a meal sheet that you filled out prior to the trip that asked about special dietary needs. I do bring my own food into the hotel. I have not found it to be a problem at all.

I sometimes wish it was easier but I have found ways to adapt and they are working well for me.

[photobabe42]

I am appalled that people even have the incredible, ahem, STONES, to think or act like this. While the newspaper industry is having many problems, I am thankful that I still have a job (for now) and that I am surrounded by intelligent people who are full of curiosity and investigative skills. The photo staff (myself and two others) are known to be very food oriented. We go out to eat often and I don't have desk drawers more than I have a three-tiered pantry. However, when I suspected that I had issues with gluten (and later, dairy) it took less than a week to educate my fellow photographers to my new diet. I made it a point to research what I can eat at any given restaurant in town, and now we go only to places where I can eat at least one thing safely. The company potlucks have not been an issue. I bring more than one dish that I can eat, and at least one or two people always bring in foods that they know I can eat. We're not talking a bag of tortilla chips either, we're talking a DISH. No one minds if I bring my own food to meetings and who ever goes for coffee never fails to remember my soy milk chai latte. Many comment on how much healthier I look these days, and I always try to make sure I express my thanks when my co-workers make efforts to include and feed me.

I am very sorry for those of you with self-absorbed co-workers. I can only suggest that patience, leading by example, and in cases of last resort, sarcasm and the HR department, will help your situation. Stock up on yummies at work so you don't go hungry, request fridge access if you need it. Best of luck!

[Sinenox]

I'm not one to draw that kind of attention to myself. I just try to take care of myself and not expect others to understand or accommodate me. I never was into the politics when I worked for a company of that size and still don't like it.

My experience with this has been that no matter how it's down-played, your failure to eat exactly what everyone else is eating is the source of that attention. In a tight-knit competitive atmosphere where you don't control your own schedule, there just isn't any getting around it. That bit about being the quota-filler is interesting! I've never even considered checking on that. Wouldn't it be fascinating if they both listed your disability and failed to accommodate for it.

I do not see this as an insurmountable obstacle.

That's easy when you've never had the experience, I suppose.

I asked my friend the sociologist to weigh in on this rights-to/rights-from issue where food allergies and the like are concerned. He gave me a book recommendation: Stephen Mennell's "The Sociology of Food: Eating, Diet and Culture". I think I'll pick it up. If anyone else is interested in the read we could have a chat room book club.

[mef]

Hi all,

Thank you all for the generous replies!

More than anything, it helps to know that I am not the only person out there who is trying to overcome this...

Ya'll rock my socks--thanks for being here

[blueeyedmanda]

I am appalled that people even have the incredible, ahem, STONES, to think or act like this. While the newspaper industry is having many problems, I am thankful that I still have a job (for now) and that I am surrounded by intelligent people who are full of curiosity and investigative skills. The photo staff (myself and two others) are known to be very food oriented. We go out to eat often and I don't have desk drawers more than I have a three-tiered pantry. However, when I suspected that I had issues with gluten (and later, dairy) it took less than a week to educate my fellow photographers to my new diet. I made it a point to research what I can eat at any given restaurant in town, and now we go only to places where I can eat at least one thing safely. The company potlucks have not been an issue. I bring more than one dish that I can eat, and at least one or two people always bring in foods that they know I can eat. We're not talking a bag of tortilla chips either, we're talking a DISH. No one minds if I bring my own food to meetings and who ever goes for coffee never fails to remember my soy milk chai latte. Many comment on how much healthier I look these days, and I always try to make sure I express my thanks when my co-workers make efforts to include and feed me.

I am very sorry for those of you with self-absorbed co-workers. I can only suggest that patience, leading by example, and in cases of last resort, sarcasm and the HR department, will help your situation. Stock up on yummies at work so you don't go hungry, request fridge access if you need it. Best of luck!

that is great that you were able to educate your fellow coworkers about your new diet, but you must remember not all coworkers are going to be as easy as yours. I am not sure HR can really help this type of situation. Just because my coworkers dont always bring something for me to eat doesn't mean I feel any less accepted. I also work with a woman who does not eat meat and she feels the same way I do, if there is stuff for us great but if not we can bring our own.