What Do You Do When You Receive Cookies And Cakes As Gifts?

[Amyleigh0007]

I am a teacher and received tons of cookies, cake mixes, brownie mixes, and other goodies from my students as Christmas gifts. While I am thankful that they took the time and effort to think of me, I am at a loss as to what I can say when I receive these treats. I thought I had made my diet status known when I made gluten free cookies for our school bake sale back in September and a few of my parents know that my son has Celiac disease but I guess it just didn't click. I don't even want these treats in my home for fear of cross contamination. I always send thank you notes home during Christmas break but I am not sure what I can say that isn't an outright lie (i.e. I loved the cookies! etc.). Has anyone else been in this situation before?

[*lee-lee*]

i say it's probably best to just acknowledge the gesture rather than focusing on the fact that you couldn't enjoy the treat. they probably won't even notice you didn't say how yummy the cookies were.

do you have a neighbor that you can pass the goodies on to? or a church or community center? the break room at work you can put the food out for your fellow teachers? food pantry for the mixes?

[Sweetfudge]

i agree. i'm not the type to make someone feel bad for not remembering my condition, so i simply thank them, and pass the gift along. i remember when i worked at a school, all the staff appreciated anything left in the break room!

i'd keep some extra gluten free goodies on hand though, just so i wouldn't feel cheated for having these great treats in front of me

[emcmaster]

I would send a Thank You note saying "Thank you very much for thinking of me."

[mamaw]

I too would send thank you notes & quietly pass along the goodies. We take ours to the local salvation army (feeds people daily) to a personal care home or to meals on wheels.or if your community has dinners for the needy they also love to get these gems........hth

[Amyleigh0007]

Thanks for all your comments. I gave everything to my parents. I did run into a student today and she asked if I had eaten her "puppy chow" yet. I told her no but that it looked really good. They are so excited to give me that stuff, especially when they help make it. It just breaks my heart that I can't eat it.

[Darn210]

If you get "forced" into a confession, you can tell them that you weren't able to enjoy the food but since you were able to give someone else home-made goodies, you were able to enjoy the "free-time" since you didn't have to make anything yourself.

[CaraLouise]

I work in a church and am given food a lot and I just thank them for the gift and pass it along to someone who will enjoy it.

[tarnalberry]

Also, if you're "forced into a confession" (I love the expression; feels true sometimes, doesn't it? ), if you can ask the person you passed the food onto how the item was, find out! then you can say something like "Well, I couldn't eat it, because wheat makes me sick. So I thought my mom might like something that looked so tasty. And she told me it was really yummy! You must be a good cook!"

[Juliebove]

I get stuff I can't eat all the time, between the diabetes and food allergies. If it's something pre-packaged, I might give it to a charity or a friend. But most of the stuff just goes straight into the trash.

[frec]

I'm a teacher and I've had the same problem for years. I always saved treats to "eat after school" and took things home to my neighbors. But this year I have a student with serious nut allergies. We've had to really be careful. I keep an Epipen in the room. She can't even eat next to anyone who has nuts. We have to scrub everyone's desks after lunch, etc. Anyway, I don't usually make a big fuss about my food problems but this year I told the class about it right away in the fall, just to keep the girl from feeling like the only "weird" person. Her mother put a Nut Free Zone on her desk so I put the celiac symbol on mine. Now I have a class that is quite educated about food labeling and--nobody gives me cupcakes anymore! (My allergic girl likes to give me fruit roll ups though.) I think I'll be more forthright about it in the future.

A parent came in last week and asked me exactly what brand of chocolate I could eat. She said her son knew I liked chocolate and was determined to get me some, but she wanted to check first. I was really touched.

[Hummingbird4]

Today at work a co-worker brought in several huge trays of homemade cookies. Must have been 7 or 8 huge trays with a couple of dozen different types of cookies and candies. She does this every year, and every year we all look forward to it! But this year I have Celiac. I mentioned to somebody that I was bummed I couldn't eat the cookies, and that person told the woman who baked the cookies. She came up to me and told me that I should be able to eat the peanut brittle, the fudge, the caramels, the peanut butter balls, almond butter balls, and the coconut cherry chews because none of them contained flour.

I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't going to touch any of those things with a 10-foot pole. They're on trays with a variety of cookies on them, and people reaching across and dropping crumbs. Not to mention cross-contamination in her kitchen while she was making them. I simply couldn't risk it.

But oh, so sad, because everything looked so good. Fortunately, she didn't come up to me later and ask if I ate any. I think I would have had to lie and say it was delicious. People think I'm insane when I start talking about cross-contact (as if how could a tiny speck of crumbs cause any kind of damage). Ugh.

[torontosue]

I work in a high end hair salon and lots of our clients gave cookies or chocolates that were not safe. I just said thank you and smiled, then put out a plate of these goodies on the front counter for clients and staff alike.

Everyone enjoyed them, moaned about how fat they were getting and enjoyed not having to worry about overeating them for the first time ever. I honestly did not feel cheated. When the few chocolates came in that were safe for me, the other girls I work with put them in the back and said, oh, we have to keep those for Sue....and didn't put them out for clients. So when I do want a sweet treat, there is something there for me.

On Christmas eve, the boss ordered pizza for everyone....then realized, as he got me to make the call to order them, that I wouldn't be able to enjoy....asked if there was anything on their menu I could have and told me to order something for me as well.

[ang1e0251]

For me, I have to be upfront with people. They may be surprised if they offered something I can't have but they remember for the next time. I usually temper it with something like."Oh shoot, that looks so delicious but if it even touched a crumb, I can't have it." When you don't tell someone, you run the risk of offending them as they use their imagination to theorize why you won't eat their gift. Their imagination is always cruel to you. A special medical diet they can understand, uppityness (perceived) they can't.

At the office, I would have been upfront with her about them touching the other food. I use the poison ivy example. That way you are not attacking her, you're just following dr's orders.

We attended a Christmas buffet this weekend of my sister's in laws. Not even my family. There wasn't much there I could have but they were very understanding. I made chicken for me to eat but forgot it. doink! It was torture because there was a goodie table that sounds like your situation. Trays and trays of cookies and candies. I sat on the opposite side of the room and ignored it. It's weird because they have so many diabetics in their family. Of course they just adjust their insulin.

I think you shouldn't hide or gloss over your condiition. I have a friend who's a 15 year celiac and before my diagnosis, I never would have dreamed of offering her a food she couldn't have. I was happy to go out of my way to please her. She's my friend! I'll bet your coworkers and students also want to please you and just lack the knowledge of how. Give them the gift of knowledge!

[bremac]

I'm a teacher and I've had the same problem for years. I always saved treats to "eat after school" and took things home to my neighbors. But this year I have a student with serious nut allergies. We've had to really be careful. I keep an Epipen in the room. She can't even eat next to anyone who has nuts. We have to scrub everyone's desks after lunch, etc. Anyway, I don't usually make a big fuss about my food problems but this year I told the class about it right away in the fall, just to keep the girl from feeling like the only "weird" person. Her mother put a Nut Free Zone on her desk so I put the celiac symbol on mine. Now I have a class that is quite educated about food labeling and--nobody gives me cupcakes anymore! (My allergic girl likes to give me fruit roll ups though.) I think I'll be more forthright about it in the future.

A parent came in last week and asked me exactly what brand of chocolate I could eat. She said her son knew I liked chocolate and was determined to get me some, but she wanted to check first. I was really touched.

That was so touching I am almost in tears. How sweet of you for helping your student and I think it's so wonderful how the class reacted.

[Seejanerun4]

I really appreciate this thread! I've been struggling with this issue myself. Here's a spin on the question --how do you respond when people bring forbidden food to your gluten free home?

I enjoy entertaining with a full gluten free spread (in my gluten-free kitchen), however routinely folks will bring something (think uber-crummy - cookies, cakes, etc.) to the dinner. While they are no doubt trying to be gracious guests, it completely stresses me out & I'm unsure how to handle it without offending or embarrassing my well intentioned guest.

I'm tempted to meet people at the door and say -oh that looks delicious; please take it back to you car right now!! Or ok we'll open that in the backyard .

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I really appreciate this thread! I've been struggling with this issue myself. Here's a spin on the question --how do you respond when people bring forbidden food to your gluten free home?

I enjoy entertaining with a full gluten free spread (in my gluten-free kitchen), however routinely folks will bring something (think uber-crummy - cookies, cakes, etc.) to the dinner. While they are no doubt trying to be gracious guests, it completely stresses me out & I'm unsure how to handle it without offending or embarrassing my well intentioned guest.

I'm tempted to meet people at the door and say -oh that looks delicious; please take it back to you car right now!! Or ok we'll open that in the backyard .

Well, if you are inviting them to your home, it's your call--and your responsibility, really--to inform them of food allergies/intolerances in your home beforehand.

Gracious guests DO show up with something (though they usually call ahead and ask, "What can I bring?"), although you can be equally gracious by saying at the time of invite (or writing it on the invitation if there is one) that due to severe food allergies in your house, you have a (gluten-free) (peanut-free) (taste-free) (just kidding) house. If they are polite enough to call ahead and ask what to bring, tell them (sadly, not bossily) of your restrictions and give them some good and inexpensive suggestions (ice cream, if dairy isn't an issue, or fresh fruit, or wine, or (my favorite) Bailey's Irish Cream.

People with severe allergies to flowers do this all the time; so can we!

Anyway, welcome aboard, seejanerun, and I hope you don't run away from here!

[Amyleigh0007]

I had that problem on Christmas Eve since we had it at our house. My mother in law came over early and made the food at our house (her idea). I was not very happy with that plan since the food she made was loaded with gluten. I told her she would have to bring her own pots, pans, and spoons and she acted like I was crazy but she did it. We have a long, L shaped counter and I kept all the gluten food on one side, away from the gluten free food. My son knew he couldn't eat any of the food that was past the stove. I bought lots of plastic containers and gave all the leftovers to my brothers in law. I didn't want any of that stuff in the house. I also washed my hands about a million times just to make sure I didn't get residue on me. It seemed to work out because my son and I didn't get sick.

[julirama723]

With students, I NEVER refuse any gift they give--they want so much to give you something of theirs, something they made or created or purchased, that it doesn't matter what they give, it's THAT they give that makes them feel good. To refuse the gift is like saying "I don't like you" and they won't understand that I can't eat what they gave me. My co-workers know what I eat and what I don't eat, so if they can intercept, they will, and will exchange the cookies/cakes/gluteny-goodness for something like peanuts in the shell, or will suggest artwork or a craft project instead.

That being said, I NEVER eat what they give me. I don't even handle it! Usually it's the younger students who come in during another class to give me treats. (I teach music and have grades K-12.) I just ask them to set it on the table, I thank them generously, and they feel really good knowing they could give me something. When they leave, I offer it to my older students at the end of class, because they know that I can't eat it, and they understand why I don't refuse the gift--refusing a gift (or a meal) is one of the rudest things a person could do, culturally-speaking.

So when a student gives you a gift, accept it with a smile, because they want to show their appreciation for you! It's physical proof that they like you. When they leave, offer the mixes or other sealed goodies to co-workers or school support staff or take them to a food bank, put the baked goodies in the lounge or workroom, or if this is not possible, just throw it away at school (without the students seeing you do it.)

[Amyleigh0007]

Oh, I always take the goodies. I would never refuse a gift. I tell them thank you, give them a hug, and ohhh and ahhhh about how yummy it looks. But, it's later when I send the thank you notes that I get stuck. This year, getting good advice from all of you, I simply said "Thank you so much for the (fill in the blank). That was nice of you and your family to think of me." I ended up giving all the goodies to my parents and brother and they enjoyed them.