You'd Think Im Crazy, But Im Not

[mr. moore]

its ok to be so obsessed and paranoid about a certain idea that you spend every minute obsessing over it isn't it? i think it's because im 19 and im not going out and having sex, or counting my money, or thinking about college. i've been through just the dumbest situations in desperate attempt to feel calm and normal inside. that's why im here, and that's why i've posted on mental illness boards and been to chiropractors and ear doctors ect. ect.

i just don't KNOW how to be in the "here and now" when i feel so blurred n confused all the time! like sometimes it comes, and when it does, i STOP everything im doing and just talk to people and laugh and have fun. but then the blurred vision comes back, followed by the constant inner dialouge/music that plays in my head, and it's scary. im so used to it though that i just pretend everything is normal and people will keep talking to me and i get more annoyed because i have to keep pretending i know wtf is going on. not good when your a cashier at target!

guys im gonna try and not sound dramatic, but this is really taking a toll on me. i don't know why i have it, and even my family laughs at me. ive been waiting for that. i just wait for the worst possible thing to happen, thats just me though. but im in beautiful tennessee, trying to enjoy my time with my family and the scenery, and the warmth, and im just so confused and in a constant state of panic! i can't shut my mind off even when im running and listening to music. but ill stop because this isn't even the right website to jerk about things.

i need to know. am i under the influence of some food chemical that is messing with how i percieve things? i can be open minded (once youve wanted to kill yourself your very open minded lol) (...that wasnt funny)

i thought about it ive read books and i need to know: before i sign myself into a hospital and live there the rest of my life, am i on the right path? can chemicals really confuse you as much as i am?

thanks and please don't be worried, im just very vexed right now.

[MySuicidalTurtle]

Chemicals and chemical imbalances can affect you in those ways. Maybe you should see a doctor and a therapist to get your chemicals and mind in check. If you do not like the ones you see, go to another, until you feel comfortable.

[mr. moore]

thanks but there's no point if im feeling so disoriented i can't focus.

[Opioid from gluten issues]

thanks but there's no point if im feeling so disoriented i can't focus.

You sound just like my daughter when she's been eating anything with even a little bit of gluten in it. You need to talk with a doctor (family doctor or naturopath) about how you're feeling. In the meantime, have you stopped eating wheat? You might find that gluten could be contributing to how you're feeling. Good luck adn I hope you feel better soon. You're not alone!!

[home-based-mom]

Lots of things can cause brain fog and confusion in sensitive people. In addition to gluten, you could be having problems with other grain proteins or with dairy or soy. Food dyes cause problems in some people. I believe you have already mentioned MSG. A man at church has become basically house bound because he CANNOT be exposed to flourescent lights or cell phones without having seizures. Some of us are helping the family stockpile incandescent light bulbs because in a year or two they will be illegal to buy and once they run out the family will have to sit in the dark at night.

Read the SCD thread for a diet you might try.

Until you clean the toxins out of your system - whatever they may be - you will never know how good it is to feel well.

Try keeping a diary. Set your watch or cell phone to go off every hour and write down how you feel and what you ate. There may be a correlation, although someone else may need to look at it to make the connection if you are not able to focus on it.

Hope you feel better soon!

[mommida]

You can be sensitive to anything. High EMF readings in a location make people feel like they are being watched, haunted, and other eerie feelings.

When was the last time you went to the dentist? I've heard many odd stories about needing dental work and people think they are going nuts, with odd sounds in their heads and such.

It is likely to have a chemical imbalance in the body, but only a doctor can help you.

By the way, the fact that you fear you are insane, is more of a sign that you are sane. Or that's what I heard.

[Lisa]

Dylan,

We are not doctors. We can offer experience, but you should seek professional help. As said earlier, if you are not comfortable with the doctors you see now, find others.

A doctor can test for chemical imbalances. With a past suicide attempt and your current emotional state, you should be dealing with professionals. Sit down and try to talk to your parents about your concerns. Talk to someone you trust, until they hear you.

Your current emotional state may be due to gluten, msg, chemicals or something of greater concern, but this is something that a doctors should explore. An eliminating diet may not be your answer.

Before you explore on your own, please seek professional advise.

[mr. moore]

Dylan,

We are not doctors. We can offer experience, but you should seek professional help. As said earlier, if you are not comfortable with the doctors you see now, find others.

A doctor can test for chemical imbalances. With a past suicide attempt and your current emotional state, you should be dealing with professionals. Sit down and try to talk to your parents about your concerns. Talk to someone you trust, until they hear you.

Your current emotional state may be due to gluten, msg, chemicals or something of greater concern, but this is something that a doctors should explore. An eliminating diet may not be your answer.

Before you explore on your own, please seek professional advise.

thank you but i have seeked the help of over SIX different professionals in only the past 4 months! my complaint has always been feeling sad, foggy headed, vision was blurred, feeling moody, and i've put HUNDREDS of dollars for these people to help me. i should be in college. but i basically want what everyone takes for granted. i want to look at someone and know that what i see is real, the ringing in my ears gone, and to fall in love and to enjoy life. that is IT. right now, i couldn't care less about anything. you can't when your as irritated and disoriented as i am. always. i can only relate to stoners!

and yes i tried the gluten free diet for a week and a half, and nothing but i haven't felt moody, but i have felt muddled (confused) and panicked. like i said one day off of anything processed did my quite well but it makes me scared because im so used to feeling confused. im just worried its a placebo effect. maybe someday i'll spread the word on how food has messed with me.

[Lisa]

What have your doctors recommended?

[Rachel--24]

and yes i tried the gluten free diet for a week and a half, and nothing but i haven't felt moody, but i have felt muddled (confused) and panicked. like i said one day off of anything processed did my quite well but it makes me scared because im so used to feeling confused. im just worried its a placebo effect. maybe someday i'll spread the word on how food has messed with me.

I went through maybe 40-50 conventional doctors....who did NOTHING for me. I was treated pretty badly.....probably because on the outside I didnt appear to be sick. None of the tests they ran came up with any answers and I was given drugs, drugs and more drugs....because that was the one thing they were always willing to do...whether I wanted it or not.

They insisted that I see a physchiatrist, they insisted on antidepressants...and more drugs as a cure for whatever was happening to me. I got more and more depressed because I was not getting anyone to take me seriously. I knew instinctively that something was affecting me...and it was NOT in my mind and it was not something that was gonna be "cured" with a prescription. To me it sounds like you also can sense that something you are exposed to is triggering these symptoms.

Dont be afraid to trust your insticnts....dont be afraid to trust your body. In the end I relented and went to the shrink. She was the smartest of all the doctor's I'd seen because she was the one who truelly listened and who told me that NOTHING she could give me would resolve my issues...it was physical and had yet to be properly diagnosed. Antidepressants were not going to "cure" me.

I did my own research...eliminated processed foods and the improvement was dramatic.

I talked to my doctors about this and was told that I still needed to see a shrink.....and that whatever improvement I was experiencing was a placebo effect and nothing more......the REAL issue was still "in my head".

Anyways, I switched to more knowledgeable doctors who do not believe that drugs are the answer for every problem. I was able to return to work after having been on disability for 2 years. I've been back at work full-time for over 3 years now. The diet worked for me....and I can function really well as long as I avoid the triggers. It was definately not a placebo effect.

[mr. moore]

What have your doctors recommended?

well therapists think i have some issues that are stemmed from my childhood, and that i should seek out female companionship. (which i have. but you have to feel normal to do that.)

the inner ear doctor said everything is fine.

my eye doctor said that my vision should be fine with glasses on but when i wear them there's still blurry and unreal looking.

the chiropractor said that some craziness in my spine could affect my central nervous system, and to keep seeing him and buy this 200$ package.

this neurologist said that my problems result from being born with an umbillical cord around my neck and the problem could be solved with multiple sessions of "neurofeedback" (the most ludicrous idea ever proposed!!)

my dietician said if i cut back on my carbs, specifically grains, that i could see some improvement in mood and energy.

of my own will i went through the withdrawls and that still wasn't enough so i went off gluten for a week, and just felt, well, weak.

now im trying this extremely all natural route on the "fail safe diet".

[mr. moore]

I went through maybe 40-50 conventional doctors....who did NOTHING for me. I was treated pretty badly.....probably because on the outside I didnt appear to be sick. None of the tests they ran came up with any answers and I was given drugs, drugs and more drugs....because that was the one thing they were always willing to do...whether I wanted it or not.

They insisted that I see a physchiatrist, they insisted on antidepressants...and more drugs as a cure for whatever was happening to me. I got more and more depressed because I was not getting anyone to take me seriously. I knew instinctively that something was affecting me...and it was NOT in my mind and it was not something that was gonna be "cured" with a prescription. To me it sounds like you also can sense that something you are exposed to is triggering these symptoms.

Dont be afraid to trust your insticnts....dont be afraid to trust your body. In the end I relented and went to the shrink. She was the smartest of all the doctor's I'd seen because she was the one who truelly listened and who told me that NOTHING she could give me would resolve my issues...it was physical and had yet to be properly diagnosed. Antidepressants were not going to "cure" me.

I did my own research...eliminated processed foods and the improvement was dramatic.

I talked to my doctors about this and was told that I still needed to see a shrink.....and that whatever improvement I was experiencing was a placebo effect and nothing more......the REAL issue was still "in my head".

Anyways, I switched to more knowledgeable doctors who do not believe that drugs are the answer for every problem. I was able to return to work after having been on disability for 2 years. I've been back at work full-time for over 3 years now. The diet worked for me....and I can function really well as long as I avoid the triggers. It was definately not a placebo effect.

thats definitelly inspiring! but i need to know, did you experience what im talking about for years? the blurred vision and confusion, the feeling that your going crazy and just make up stuff because the real world is too hard to focus in?

[Rachel--24]

thats definitelly inspiring! but i need to know, did you experience what im talking about for years? the blurred vision and confusion, the feeling that your going crazy and just make up stuff because the real world is too hard to focus in?

Its been 6 years since I first started having symptoms. It all came on very suddenly and the symptoms were severe enough that I could no longer work. I was pretty messed up during the first 3 years. My eyes were very affected and sometimes I couldnt drive because my eyes were so blurry and also painfully sensitive to light. I was wearing sunglasses in the house in the middle of the night and driving at night was pretty bad because of all the lights.

It seemed like I didnt have normal responses to things. My brain wasnt processing things as quickly so I'd do things that I wouldnt normally do.....like run red lights. Even though I'd see the light....I just wasnt stopping or realizing that I needed to stop (until it was too late). Then I would have no reaction at all...even though cars were coming toward me in the intersection. I just didnt respond to the situation with normal reaction...I was more like a zombie.

I couldnt focus or concentrate on anything, my memory sucked (and I'd always had a very good memory)....I guess I just started to feel "lost" because I really couldnt be the person I'd always been. I became a totally different person during that time. I also had trouble talking....like I couldnt express myself. It seemed like my brain had slowed WAY down. I did feel like I was going crazy at times....it was the scariest thing ever!

The last 3 years have been sooooo much better. I still have days when my eyes are a little blurry, or a little more sensitive to light....but its not severe. I have things under control for the most part so sometimes I'll indulge (but I dont knowingly eat things with MSG, aspartame, sulfite, nitrates or benzoates). I just know which foods are going to be more problematic for me and I avoid those....for example I wouldnt eat deli meat because I know it would not go over well (too many additives, preservatives and amines).

On Xmas I ate whatever I wanted but I avoided salami, colored candies, soda, yellow cheese, peanuts and certain cookies (I ate a few that were homemade). I ate everything that was served for dinner (none of it was processed).

The thing with food chemicals is that the reactions occur once you reach your threshold (which is different for everyone). It is cumulative....so you might be ok eating certain things once in awhile....but not everyday....and not in huge amounts. I just totally avoid the most obvious offenders (the additives and preservatives that are listed in ingredients). Those are too much for me right now and would definately set me off. Thats why I avoided having Sprite with my dinner...even though I REALLY wanted it!

The only way to find out if this is going to help you is to try it. Since you felt better on the day that you ate no processed food....you are probably on the right track. You will make mistakes with the diet because it does take time to understand it all.....but by eliminating processed foods you should get an answer one way or the other.

[mr. moore]

what exactly are sulfites?

[mr. moore]

and salyicytes?

[lizard00]

Have you sought out the advice of either a naturopath or an osteopath? It's still the luck of the draw, but often these doctors opt for more drugless ways to treat, and are more open to different ideas than conventional doctors. It may not seem so far fetched that you have chemical sensitivities to an ND or OD. These doctors are more aimed at finding the source of the problem, not treating the symptoms.

Remember, dietiticans, conventional doctors and the like are taught in medical school to believe the FDA is right. So if it's approved to go in our food, it must be ok. They're taught to believe that FDA approved drugs are safe, and that drugs are usually that answer to ailments. You can find some conventional doctors that think outside the box, but not often.

[Rachel--24]

I agree with the previous post with regards to finding a doctor who will be more open to what you're experiencing. Outside of conventional medicine there are many many doctors who understand reactions to chemicals. As previously mentioned they will help you get to root of your problems.

It is very frusterating to have doctors who do not believe you or who do not take you seriously.....in my case this worsened my condition by increasing stress levels and causing even greater depression (loss of hope). For the past 3 years I have only seen doctors who are out of the mainstream and I have been very happy with them.

Sulfites are preservatives that are in many types of processed foods (sometimes labeled and sometimes not).

Salicylates are a naturally occuring chemical found in fruits, vegetables, spices, herbs. Its a natural preservative and pesticide that protects the plant from disease. Some people have a sensitivity to this natural occuring chemical. There are also synthetic salicylates which are man-made chemicals put into foods, medications, toiletries, perfumes, etc.

You may or may not be sensitive to them but they are part of the failsafe diet. The only way to find out is to follow the diet. Some of the foods contain very high amounts of salicylates....whereas others contain much less.

Heres a site with good info. about salicylates

Open Original Shared Link

For you I think it would be most important to avoid the synthetic chemicals in processed foods to see if there is any improvement.

[mr. moore]

thank you and im sorry for being a burden. im just trying my best to enjoy my vacation down south where its actually warm, and my mind is just floaty and i can hardly see sometimes.

[suzyks]

I had blurred vision (like looking through a glass smeared with baby oil), moodiness, headaches, and odd humming noises all because of drinking Diet Coke. It was the Nutra Sweet. It can really cause people some problems.

Suzy

[purple]

thank you and im sorry for being a burden. im just trying my best to enjoy my vacation down south where its actually warm, and my mind is just floaty and i can hardly see sometimes.

Never think you are a burden. As you ask questions and others answer, many people are learning by reading/researching. As topics pop up, we keep are eyes and ears open. We are all here to help one another. You may even become a doc someday

My dd went to an osteopath for extreme PMS, she was diagnosed allergic to gluten. The very first thing he did was ask if she had any fillings and he looked into her mouth.

My mom at 70ish went to the same doc 2 yrs ago. He got her off high blood pressure pills, healed her pneumonia and fixed whatever was wrong with her liver. She has been fine since.

I think many of our problems start with mercury and other synthetic garbage we put into our bodies. Then problems arise. Its like putting dirt inside the engine of your car. Sooner or later it will start to fall apart.

[Rachel--24]

thank you and im sorry for being a burden. im just trying my best to enjoy my vacation down south where its actually warm, and my mind is just floaty and i can hardly see sometimes.

Not a burden at all. We're all here to learn....ask as many questions as you'd like.

[DreamWalker]

Were you diagnosed with Celiacs Disease? I'm asking because you said you tried the gluten-free diet for one and a half weeks. . . . .

Confusion & vision issues are the first to hit me if I accidentally eat gluten. It's like you have half the picture or your surroundings are fragments and it's difficult to connect the dots and obtain a decent understanding of what's going on around you. At my worst, I cannot follow conversations. It's as though peoples voices permeate my conscious then slip away into oblivion. I've learned to catch cues and respond somewhat appropriately but eventually people realize something is wrong and if I don't know them well I fear they think I'm on drugs. As for the vision, it's frightening to drive at night because all the lights blur together and I can't discern between the stoplights & taillights/brake lights.

Even the slightest contamination results in a return of these issues. Initially, when I first began the gluten-free diet it took over a month for me to notice the mental side-effects diminishing. Also, I did not eat anything I was unsure of. (IE no supposedly gluten free foods like those quick microwaveable dinners.)

The confusion is something to really watch out for when going gluten free. My main issue is that with the slightest contamination, I wind up being encased with a brain fog that leads to me being less careful about cross contamination throughout the day. Eventually, I'm reeling in pain and running to the bathroom and rarely to I remember the original culprit. It helps to keep your home completely gluten free (but I know that's not always possible.)

Once the confusion clears and you can properly interpret your world the gluten free diet won't be nearly as difficult to follow. Basically, I eliminated everything that could be causing celiac flare ups and was shocked to find my mental problems ebbing away. I never thought gluten could cause such issues until they began evaporating. Also, watch out for products you wouldn't normally suspect like make up, shampoo, lotion, tooth paste, vitamins, etc.

I hope you find an answer soon. Living in hell and barely scraping by (especially when you're young) is not something anyone should have to bear.

[spanish-road]

You cannot focus too! Holy poop i got the same thing i go around life in a haze and i used to be able to sit and focus on something for hours and figure it out, not i just space out after 10 minutes or less. I think that the gluten messes with my mind since my body is going into a craze.

I avoid gluten like a fire and when i do get a little back to massive haze for a month. As an example last summer i was working out of town and living out of dinners, i was gone off in my world the whole time 4 months of a haze not knowing what the heck is going on.

[Anna and Marie]

You cannot focus too! Holy poop i got the same thing i go around life in a haze and i used to be able to sit and focus on something for hours and figure it out, not i just space out after 10 minutes or less. I think that the gluten messes with my mind since my body is going into a craze.

I avoid gluten like a fire and when i do get a little back to massive haze for a month. As an example last summer i was working out of town and living out of dinners, i was gone off in my world the whole time 4 months of a haze not knowing what the heck is going on.

wow, i can't believe other people have this! my twin and I get the brain fog and the memory loss...so we didn't realize our diets were not totally gluten free and the past 3 1/2 years is like a big gray area. a few things, like faces we remember but conversations...please. We feel bad in that our closest friends thought we were space cadets and they repeated things over and over but we just couldn't process things or remember them. somehow we managed to get through school... we sat in the front of the rooms but that only helped for five minute intervals..

the gluten free diets have helped so much, we also cut out soy and dairy and everything is getting better! good luck!

[hannahp57]

I had blurred vision (like looking through a glass smeared with baby oil), moodiness, headaches, and odd humming noises all because of drinking Diet Coke. It was the Nutra Sweet. It can really cause people some problems.

Suzy

i have had a reaction once to what i was pretty sure was a diet soda... coke or pepsi cant remember which...

but i drank maybe one can's worth.. and just a couple hours later i had such a headache, felt dizzy and could NOT focus or think straight. then a few hours later my stomach was torn up. it was like the glutened flu! some strange vicious combination of the two. i also react to MSG though i am not sure about other additives. i think that some of us just cannot handle these artificial ingredients.

Mr. Moore you should go back to that elimination of processd foods. take it one day at a time and dont give up after only a week. my most severe symptoms were in my digestive system and it took MONTHS for me to feel better. years to feel GOOD. but it is so worth it, please do not give up hope