Getting Frustrated With Daughter!

[Juliebove]

I see. Did she try different ways to make it, or just strawberries and sorbet? How long ago was it when she liked them?

You mean she won't even feel the least bit left out? I mean, not that she'd necessarily want the exact same thing, but are you saying she wouldn't care that she doesn't get anything, and wasn't asked?

Wouldn't it be worth a try? I was always told "How do you know you won't like it unless you try it?" Can you be so sure she won't like it, as to not even bother? I've made non-dairy yogurt, and it's easy. It doesn't need the cultures to have the right texture and taste, so it only takes minutes to make.

So again, the impression I get is that it's not just the food, but the package, or presentation, or perhaps the novelty. Like those little cups are sorta personalized or something. They're cute. Maybe a combination of those. What would happen if you took the empty container from something she likes, and filled it with a homemade version? If you think she'd turn it down (and my guess is she would), then it would confirm something I mentioned earlier. If you took some little individual package of something she likes, and emptied it into a bowl or whatever, it would not surprise me if she'd turn that down too.

I guess it's kinda similar to why kids like tiny toys. Those little figurines and such.

I'd be inclined to try putting homemade things into little cups of some sort, with lids, and put them into the fridge for her. But I wouldn't necessarily tell her "those are yours". Rather, just place them in the fridge so that they are in plain view, and see if they catch her eye. My hunch is that she'd only like them if it's her own decision to try them. Suggesting it makes it like your idea instead of hers, and all bets are off. Probably a long shot, but I'm about out of ideas. Kids her age have a tough time adjusting to all the changes and emotions, etc, as Alex J mentioned.

I don't know what else to suggest. It does seem like a phase that she'll outgrow though. But I will say, tactfulness goes a long way. Figuring out just what to say, when to say it, and how to say it, can make all the difference. Like coaxing a pet into the bath water - you try to make it jump in on it's own, by smiling and using a friendly voice. Side Note: Ever notice the tendency to talk to pets about two octaves higher than normal?

I would never put something I made into a container of something else. That's just wrong! I'm pretty sure she would not like a yogurt I made. She likes something she can just grab and put in her lunch and likes that it has an expiration date on it. She's big into expiration dates. If it is something I've made in a large quantity, she is always worried that the food isn't fresh.

As for the smoothies, we only put in what she agreed to put in. She doesn't like most fruit. I can't blame her. I don't like any fruit. It just tastes bad to me. She does get the Peach Perfection at Jamba Juice but only because they seem to be the only ones that don't make her sick. She can't have any that have bananas in them. For some reason they make her mouth itch. And she is unwilling to have any with dairy in them.

As for making something special for my husband, it would most likely be something she is not interested in eating. Some sort of vegetables she hates or something highly seasoned. He likes a ton of garlic in his food and also likes really spicy foods.

[Juliebove]

my mom says i went through a phase sort of like this...all i wanted to eat for dinner was bologna...every single night for like months. so she just let me. and after a few months the phase ended. i bet your daughter is just in a phase too.

That's one thing she will eat.

I tend to eat the same thing day after day until I get sick of it and then move on to something else. Now it is Ian's chicken nuggets for lunch.

[Juliebove]

I'm jumping back to the vitamins, and sorry if I'm misunderstanding, but you said that the Doctor told you she'd outgrown the children's vitamins and she refuses to take a swallow-able? I think that's how I read it. I do know that the 1 a day people make a chewable adult vitamin, and they state that they add no gluten to their products. Also, I took that box, and compared it to a children's multi, and there were very few differences, mostly the iron was higher in the children's which women need anyways due to women usually having lower iron levels. Dh eats little red meat, so I got him the flintstone type vitamins, since he was gagging on the swallow-able tablets. He takes one a day.

Also, as a non-celiac child, my choices were dinner or bread and butter. Take it or leave it and go hungry. I know butter is out, but there's got to be some sort of spread to put on gluten-free bread and that should be the only thing available other than dinner. Flat out refuse to let her pig out on junk food, keep gluteny stuff for dh that dd can't eat if it comes down to it, or get it all out of the house, as no one needs junk food. If she doesn't like your meals, she can cook for herself/go hungry. Same with your box lunches. She knows that the foods will make her sick, and she has limits, and as this is a recent rebellion, she knows how often she can/can't eat certain foods, so put it in her control. I know that mom's icky food sure tasted great after I'd been cooking for myself for 6 months after moving out. When I tried that phase with my mother as a teen, she put me in charge of the household meals for a week, no whining allowed, you don't like what I cook, fine you're the cook now.

I know you're catering to her foods issues because you love her, but she's seeing it as you controlling her, so cut the strings, she's grown up enough to not like what you're making, she can cook for herself.

She doesn't refuse to take a swallowable. She doesn't like to take them. She would refuse any sort of chewable though. I could get her to take the gummy vites sometimes, but not always. And they don't really contain very much in terms of vitamins. The problem is I just keep forgetting to give them to her and she never reminds me.

I would never offer her bread for dinner. Why would I do that? There's hardly any nutrients in bread, especially the kind she has to eat. I consider it to be junk food. I have on occasion allowed her to have cinnamon toast along with some meat, and a vegetable if she is being super fussy. But she hasn't asked for that in a long time.

[RiceGuy]

She doesn't refuse to take a swallowable. She doesn't like to take them. She would refuse any sort of chewable though. I could get her to take the gummy vites sometimes, but not always. And they don't really contain very much in terms of vitamins. The problem is I just keep forgetting to give them to her and she never reminds me.

A note on the refrigerator or a mirror usually helps jog one's memory. But, she should be able to take it upon herself to take her vitamins.

[mindwiped]

She doesn't refuse to take a swallowable. She doesn't like to take them. She would refuse any sort of chewable though. I could get her to take the gummy vites sometimes, but not always. And they don't really contain very much in terms of vitamins. The problem is I just keep forgetting to give them to her and she never reminds me.

I would never offer her bread for dinner. Why would I do that? There's hardly any nutrients in bread, especially the kind she has to eat. I consider it to be junk food. I have on occasion allowed her to have cinnamon toast along with some meat, and a vegetable if she is being super fussy. But she hasn't asked for that in a long time.

Sorry, I misunderstood about the vitamin. As for forgetting to take it, I don't have a lot of suggestions.

I do understand your feelings about bread, but my mother refuse to raise us in a manner that would allow us to treat her as a short order cook. She would always try to get us to eat the veggie and the fruit if the entree wasn't one of our favorites, but if it came down to brass tacks, and all we would eat was bread and butter, she was OK with that, she knew we could make up the lost nutrients at breakfast.

What I'm personally noticing is that you've come here, appearing to ask for help, genuinely wanting help, but are totally unwilling to change anything in your daughter's life to achieve the change you want. I'm sorry if this is blunt, but if you're here to rant, and get feelings off you chest, please let us know, and we will sympathize and stop offering solutions. If you really do want things to change, you might try a few of the suggestions. I know you said you'd tried some of the things mentioned back when your dd was 4, but that was 7 years ago, and trying them again can't hurt. Other ideas that have been mentioned you just blow off or get defensive about. For example, her bread, there are nutritious breads out there, that have a place in a healthy diet as much as any gluten-free whole grain, assuming there's not a candida issue, but you automatically go to bread is 'junk food', which it maybe unnecessary carbs for your blood sugars, but maybe very necessary starches for your daughter in order to give her the energy she needs for all those dance classes you mention. I am not trying to make you angry, and I'm not trying to back you into a corner, but for 6 pages, very nice people have done their best to help you, and all you seem to have for them is scorn and a sense that your choices are superior to any of ours. If any of this did upset you, I apologize for the upset, but I feel that what I wrote needed to be written, and I do not apologize for my words.

[Juliebove]

The way I was raised, bread was considered an unneccesary food and my mom sort of regarded it as poison. We did get occasional sandwiches for road trips and very occasionially there would be toast or cinnamon toast for breakfast. But we never had bread with meals. We did have some awful brown and serve rolls at holiday meals or on the rare occasion when we had company over. My mom didn't like us to bring our lunches, and made us buy our lunch most of the time. I protested a lot and she finally allowed me to bring lunch at the most once a week. This changed by the time I got to Jr. High and High school when I was responsible for my own lunches. Then, I rarely bought at all. I didn't like the lunch that the school served.

Several people have pointed out to me that the problem is probably just her age and I think this is true. I don't really think there's anything that's going to change any time soon. She will just have to grow out of it.

You are entitled to your opinion of course...

[GFqueen17]

That's one thing she will eat.

I tend to eat the same thing day after day until I get sick of it and then move on to something else. Now it is Ian's chicken nuggets for lunch.

haha same here!!! i eat them everyday

[RiceGuy]

OK, it seems apparent that our suggestions haven't been in line with your concept of what constitutes good food. Therefore, if you could list the meals you've prepared over the last 5 days, it will give us some insight into it, and thus should help us to more effectively help you.

[Olivia+Alainas*Mom]

I would never put something I made into a container of something else. That's just wrong! I'm pretty sure she would not like a yogurt I made. She likes something she can just grab and put in her lunch and likes that it has an expiration date on it. She's big into expiration dates. If it is something I've made in a large quantity, she is always worried that the food isn't fresh.

As for the smoothies, we only put in what she agreed to put in. She doesn't like most fruit. I can't blame her. I don't like any fruit. It just tastes bad to me. She does get the Peach Perfection at Jamba Juice but only because they seem to be the only ones that don't make her sick. She can't have any that have bananas in them. For some reason they make her mouth itch. And she is unwilling to have any with dairy in them.

As for making something special for my husband, it would most likely be something she is not interested in eating. Some sort of vegetables she hates or something highly seasoned. He likes a ton of garlic in his food and also likes really spicy foods.

[Olivia+Alainas*Mom]

Sorry, I misunderstood about the vitamin. As for forgetting to take it, I don't have a lot of suggestions.

I do understand your feelings about bread, but my mother refuse to raise us in a manner that would allow us to treat her as a short order cook. She would always try to get us to eat the veggie and the fruit if the entree wasn't one of our favorites, but if it came down to brass tacks, and all we would eat was bread and butter, she was OK with that, she knew we could make up the lost nutrients at breakfast.

What I'm personally noticing is that you've come here, appearing to ask for help, genuinely wanting help, but are totally unwilling to change anything in your daughter's life to achieve the change you want. I'm sorry if this is blunt, but if you're here to rant, and get feelings off you chest, please let us know, and we will sympathize and stop offering solutions. If you really do want things to change, you might try a few of the suggestions. I know you said you'd tried some of the things mentioned back when your dd was 4, but that was 7 years ago, and trying them again can't hurt. Other ideas that have been mentioned you just blow off or get defensive about. For example, her bread, there are nutritious breads out there, that have a place in a healthy diet as much as any gluten-free whole grain, assuming there's not a candida issue, but you automatically go to bread is 'junk food', which it maybe unnecessary carbs for your blood sugars, but maybe very necessary starches for your daughter in order to give her the energy she needs for all those dance classes you mention. I am not trying to make you angry, and I'm not trying to back you into a corner, but for 6 pages, very nice people have done their best to help you, and all you seem to have for them is scorn and a sense that your choices are superior to any of ours. If any of this did upset you, I apologize for the upset, but I feel that what I wrote needed to be written, and I do not apologize for my words.

[Juliebove]

OK, it seems apparent that our suggestions haven't been in line with your concept of what constitutes good food. Therefore, if you could list the meals you've prepared over the last 5 days, it will give us some insight into it, and thus should help us to more effectively help you.

She hasn't complained in the past 5 days aside from tonight when we went out to eat. We let her choose the restaurant, but being Valentine's day, they were busier than I'd thought they would be. And we went early!

I'd already shot my insulin (mistake) so we had to eat quickly. We had to go to the one nearby restaurant where we thought we could get right in. And we did. Problem with that place is it is really limited as to what we can eat, leaving us really with only a couple of choices. They were slow, and they wound up dropping one of our meals. Daughter and I had the same thing. I told them to give the meal to her to shut her up. I ate some of the bread. Thankfully I am not allergic to it. She still complained because they had to redo my meal. None of us could see why she complained so much because I ate mine as quickly as I could and we both finished at about the same time.

I really just think it is a phase she is going through. I've had enough other moms with kids of about the same age say the same thing and people here in reponse have told me the same thing.

She had hot dogs for breakfast this morning. She asked and I could tell by the look on her face that she thought I was going to say "no". I told her she could have them. She made them herself and was very happy.

[mindwiped]

OK, I'm going to be WAY out in left field, but reading your last post had me thinking. Are a lot of your battles over food at a point when your daughter's blood sugars could be either very low, or dropping like a rock? I know that dropping or low blood sugars can cause a lot of irritability, and with the teenage hormones, it just magnifies it. Since you have insulin, I'm assuming you're diabetic, and I know that diabetes can run in the family. I also know it's not uncommon for a person to be both diabetic and a celiac. In my mind, it would explain the cravings for all the 'junk food', she's fighting to raise her blood sugar, not knowing it's low. Knowing how you speak, and seeing your concern, I'm sure you've had your daughter screened for diabetes, but if its been awhile, it could be good to have a recheck.

Also, I'm glad that on the whole it was a good week! I hope for you next week will be at least the same, if not better.

[RiceGuy]

She hasn't complained in the past 5 days aside from tonight when we went out to eat. We let her choose the restaurant, but being Valentine's day, they were busier than I'd thought they would be. And we went early!

She had hot dogs for breakfast this morning. She asked and I could tell by the look on her face that she thought I was going to say "no". I told her she could have them. She made them herself and was very happy.

Good! So it seems she will make a meal for herself without throwing a fit after all! Now, as long as it isn't restricted to hot dogs, I think things should work out fine.

Incidentally, ever use amaranth, Kasha (roasted buckwheat), millet or teff? These can work for all sorts of dishes, from casseroles to hot cereals. They are very nutritious too.

[Juliebove]

Good! So it seems she will make a meal for herself without throwing a fit after all! Now, as long as it isn't restricted to hot dogs, I think things should work out fine.

Incidentally, ever use amaranth, Kasha (roasted buckwheat), millet or teff? These can work for all sorts of dishes, from casseroles to hot cereals. They are very nutritious too.

We tried millet. Nobody liked it at all. I have some Kasha. Never tried Amaranth. Nobody here much likes hot cereal. I have some that she won when she won that gluten-free food basket, but I'm not sure what's in it.