A Girl That Copies My Entire Home And Garden To The "t"!

[Christina98]

Listen I want some others opinions on this.....because I am confused as to how to handle this and why I cant.

There is this girl that lives in the same apartment complex as me and we hate each other.

Get to the point (cause I can go on) forever about her.....she has NO STYLE in my eyes with her place and when I moved in here 3 years ago...I took this boring standard apartment and "ooked it up" my own style.Nothing I see elsewhere its just stuff I see in my head.

Well not to bragg but it came out nice!

Really....people always would say WOW this looks like this apartmen tont belong here.It looks like a different place all together.

I really was impressed with myself and I didnt I am not a conceded person.

Well anyhow she copied everything from the same blinds as me to the same outdoor lantern and even the way O placed my flowers in the garden with my decor.She would often get the same thing or if she couldnt find it she would get very similiar to it.

All the things she mimicked were : I built shelves in my kitchen (she couldnt so she propped plants up on make shift shelves)I painted 1 wall purple in my kitchen and hand painted purple and green flowers above it) she painted her one wall green today and mimicked the flowers with stencils.

She has bought the same curtains as me......mine are vanilla with a slight pattern of plaid in it.She bought greeen plaid ones.

Lst year I tore up my basic piece of lawn that is in front of my standard apartment and I put bricks and mulch and plants etc, well.......she did the same thing.....she just did upposite colored mulch and bricks.

Listen I could go on and on but I wont anymore.....I just want some advice. I CANT stand her and we have had it out time because I said poop to her now we dont speak and havent in 1 year.She continues to mimick me though.

HELP!!!!! How so you handle someone who does this obsessive type thing but yet she hates me? Should I say anything to her?

And would this bother others out there?

I have never had anyone want to be me (not that she wants to be me) but She wants my things and my style but why and how when we hate each other?

HELPPPP!!!!! I wanna tie her up with those "mimicked curtains" and paint her with the paint she uses to mimick my stule and stuff the flowers down her throat with the flowers she competes with!!!!!!

[heatherjane]

Listen I want some others opinions on this.....because I am confused as to how to handle this and why I cant.

There is this girl that lives in the same apartment complex as me and we hate each other.

Get to the point (cause I can go on) forever about her.....she has NO STYLE in my eyes with her place and when I moved in here 3 years ago...I took this boring standard apartment and "ooked it up" my own style.Nothing I see elsewhere its just stuff I see in my head.

Well not to bragg but it came out nice!

Really....people always would say WOW this looks like this apartmen tont belong here.It looks like a different place all together.

I really was impressed with myself and I didnt I am not a conceded person.

Well anyhow she copied everything from the same blinds as me to the same outdoor lantern and even the way O placed my flowers in the garden with my decor.She would often get the same thing or if she couldnt find it she would get very similiar to it.

All the things she mimicked were : I built shelves in my kitchen (she couldnt so she propped plants up on make shift shelves)I painted 1 wall purple in my kitchen and hand painted purple and green flowers above it) she painted her one wall green today and mimicked the flowers with stencils.

She has bought the same curtains as me......mine are vanilla with a slight pattern of plaid in it.She bought greeen plaid ones.

Lst year I tore up my basic piece of lawn that is in front of my standard apartment and I put bricks and mulch and plants etc, well.......she did the same thing.....she just did upposite colored mulch and bricks.

Listen I could go on and on but I wont anymore.....I just want some advice. I CANT stand her and we have had it out time because I said poop to her now we dont speak and havent in 1 year.She continues to mimick me though.

HELP!!!!! How so you handle someone who does this obsessive type thing but yet she hates me? Should I say anything to her?

And would this bother others out there?

I have never had anyone want to be me (not that she wants to be me) but She wants my things and my style but why and how when we hate each other?

HELPPPP!!!!! I wanna tie her up with those "mimicked curtains" and paint her with the paint she uses to mimick my stule and stuff the flowers down her throat with the flowers she competes with!!!!!!

All of this sounds very childish. If anything, she's trying to get a reaction out of you, and it looks like it's working. Try showing kindness to her, even if it may seem ridiculous. It will make a better person out of you, and maybe convict her of her attitude. Obviously, she admires your style... turn it around for something good rather than the dissention and stress this situation is causing. All of it is just making you miserable.

[Christina98]

All of this sounds very childish. If anything, she's trying to get a reaction out of you, and it looks like it's working. Try showing kindness to her, even if it may seem ridiculous. It will make a better person out of you, and maybe convict her of her attitude. Obviously, she admires your style... turn it around for something good rather than the dissention and stress this situation is causing. All of it is just making you miserable.

I would like to turn it around if possible because Yes it is a huge pet peeve of mine.Maybe you could give me advice on how I could do this.Show kindness to her ......but how? when she hates me back.

If anything I would like to change the situation so it dont bother me even if it meant doing something I dont really want to do.

Your right maybe shes trying to get a reaction but she has been mimicking for 2 years now.....its just at its peak tight now and she is annoying.

Thanks for your comment

[Christina98]

Listen I want some others opinions on this.....because I am confused as to how to handle this and why I cant.

There is this girl that lives in the same apartment complex as me and we hate each other.

Get to the point (cause I can go on) forever about her.....she has NO STYLE in my eyes with her place and when I moved in here 3 years ago...I took this boring standard apartment and "ooked it up" my own style.Nothing I see elsewhere its just stuff I see in my head.

Well not to bragg but it came out nice!

Really....people always would say WOW this looks like this apartmen tont belong here.It looks like a different place all together.

I really was impressed with myself and I didnt I am not a conceded person.

Well anyhow she copied everything from the same blinds as me to the same outdoor lantern and even the way O placed my flowers in the garden with my decor.She would often get the same thing or if she couldnt find it she would get very similiar to it.

All the things she mimicked were : I built shelves in my kitchen (she couldnt so she propped plants up on make shift shelves)I painted 1 wall purple in my kitchen and hand painted purple and green flowers above it) she painted her one wall green today and mimicked the flowers with stencils.

She has bought the same curtains as me......mine are vanilla with a slight pattern of plaid in it.She bought greeen plaid ones.

Lst year I tore up my basic piece of lawn that is in front of my standard apartment and I put bricks and mulch and plants etc, well.......she did the same thing.....she just did upposite colored mulch and bricks.

Listen I could go on and on but I wont anymore.....I just want some advice. I CANT stand her and we have had it out time because I said poop to her now we dont speak and havent in 1 year.She continues to mimick me though.

HELP!!!!! How so you handle someone who does this obsessive type thing but yet she hates me? Should I say anything to her?

And would this bother others out there?

I have never had anyone want to be me (not that she wants to be me) but She wants my things and my style but why and how when we hate each other?

HELPPPP!!!!! I wanna tie her up with those "mimicked curtains" and paint her with the paint she uses to mimick my stule and stuff the flowers down her throat with the flowers she competes with!!!!!!

p.s. i have tried to make peace in the past by slipping her a gift card for christmas in her door.She never thanked me and my husband....I know it would be healthier for me atleast to make peace so she does not get to me as much but I dont know how.

[tarnalberry]

I would let it go. You can't change anyone but yourself, and what she does in her apartment doesn't really affect yours. Your decisions are still your own, and it's only your choice to get upset. I know it's hard, as I've been in mildly similar situations, but it's the only thing you can do.

[Christina98]

I would let it go. You can't change anyone but yourself, and what she does in her apartment doesn't really affect yours. Your decisions are still your own, and it's only your choice to get upset. I know it's hard, as I've been in mildly similar situations, but it's the only thing you can do.

Id love to let it go but I got to first learn how to do it cuz me.....by myself....iwill not accomplish much

[RiceGuy]

Well, this is how I'd perceive it. Maybe I'd be way off, but this is what I think.

I would guess that she feels upstaged by you. That she has an inferiority complex. Try to keep in mind that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Yeah, I know that doesn't really help, and I have to admit, it would bug me a lot too, seeing someone copy me like that.

One thing I don't understand, is how you both see each other's kitchens. I'm not sure I follow that.

Anyway, what to do?...My initial response (which might be a bad idea in the end) would be to do something really stupid, and let her copy it. Then switch it back the way you had it before. If she reverts hers to match, switch it again. So, maybe put some horridly ugly ornament out, and if and when she copies it, take yours off. Or, paint a vase or a pot a certain way, and if she copies, then repaint it with a different pattern. Get seven door mats of completely different colors/patterns/styles, and place a different one out for every day of the week. By the time she's purchased something like it, you'd have switched yours again.

I don't know...What do you think would happen if you put a sheet over the window with a big image of Mickey Mouse or something? Would she copy it? I mean, if you did something that clearly didn't fit the decor, and was just plain ugly, what would she do?

That's my angle - sort of a psych game I guess. Mess with her head until she's so lost, she gives up. Either that, or take it as flattery, and let it go.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I don't see a problem here, except in your view of things.

If she had seen a picture of your apartment in a magazine, loved it, and decided to copy it (which is what people do all the time, even decorators do this), it wouldn't be a problem, would it?

She was obviously impressed with the wonderful, creative ideas you have come up with--but you don't hold a patent on those ideas! Why shouldn't she prefer her apartment to look similar to yours, rather than what YOU described as a boring, standard apartment?

Why do you expect other people to have the same talent for decorating that you do? And are you so insecure that you can't tolerate someone (who obviously looks up to your sense of style) experimenting to see if they can do something similar? (By your own words, everything she has done is SIMILAR, not exactly the same.)

If I were in your shoes, I would be flattered, not angry. But I think the key here is that you start by saying that you hate her.

That makes it sound like you are looking for an excuse to be angry with her, and you're choosing her decor as the object of your rage.

Don't you have your own life to live? Aren't there more important things to do with your energy?

It really sounds to me like what she is doing is absolutely harmless--and what you are doing is more obsessive than what she is doing. And that's my impression based on YOUR post--I haven't even heard her side of the story!

You wrote that you are seriously looking for good advice. I'm fairly sure that what I am writing here is NOT what you want to hear. But that doesn't mean that it's not good advice.

[The Kids Folks]

I guess I agree with Fiddle Faddle you should be pleased that someone wants to "copy" you. Although your neighbor does sound like she is taking it a bit far. Perhaps next time you find something for your apartment, say maybe something for the outside that she is sure to see, buy two of them and drop one off at her apartment with a note, "Here I knew that you would like this and I thought that I would save you the time from having in to find it" That might stop her since she may or may not know that feeling that you are putting behind it. It sounds friendly enough, but then again....

[OptimisticMom42]

[quote name='Fiddle-Faddle'

You wrote that you are seriously looking for good advice. I'm fairly sure that what I am writing here is NOT what you want to hear. But that doesn't mean that it's not good advice.

[RiceGuy]

I guess I agree with Fiddle Faddle you should be pleased that someone wants to "copy" you. Although your neighbor does sound like she is taking it a bit far. Perhaps next time you find something for your apartment, say maybe something for the outside that she is sure to see, buy two of them and drop one off at her apartment with a note, "Here I knew that you would like this and I thought that I would save you the time from having in to find it" That might stop her since she may or may not know that feeling that you are putting behind it. It sounds friendly enough, but then again....

I like this idea, much better than what I posted. At the same time as acknowledging that you notice what she's doing, you encourage it. If reverse psychology works on her, she won't want to copy you if it is you who suggests it. If she has the immaturity that it sounds like from your description, it could work. Just make sure she knows you got one for yourself too, so it's like telling her what to do (copycat), only with a smile. This sort of psychology works great with kids.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I like this idea, much better than what I posted. At the same time as acknowledging that you notice what she's doing, you encourage it. If reverse psychology works on her, she won't want to copy you if it is you who suggests it. If she has the immaturity that it sounds like from your description, it could work. Just make sure she knows you got one for yourself too, so it's like telling her what to do (copycat), only with a smile. This sort of psychology works great with kids.

I agree with the principal of reverse psychology on kids--but in this case, we have two adults! Why play games? Why not just go about ones' own life, and let the other adult do as she pleases?

As I said before, if the other girl had seen a picture in a magazine and copied it, nobody would give a hoot! In fact, there's even a TV SERIES devoted to exactly this concept: Open Original Shared Link "Design Match on HGTV

Homeowners Redecorate Their Rooms by Copying an Inspiration Room"

I guess I don't like the idea of encouraging Christina98 to be anything other than forthright and honest. Reverse psychology is a kind of manipulation, and I fail to see any reason to attempt to manipulate someone who is doing no harm, and has not broken any laws or even social "rules."

Now, if the other girl were also doing her best to look like a clone of Christina98, and was hanging around her job, husband, etc., then I think there might be something to worry about. But home decor?

[Jestgar]

Well anyhow she copied everything from the same blinds as me to the same outdoor lantern and even the way O placed my flowers in the garden with my decor.

She has bought the same curtains as me......mine are vanilla with a slight pattern of plaid in it.She bought greeen plaid ones.

Lst year I tore up my basic piece of lawn that is in front of my standard apartment and I put bricks and mulch and plants etc, well.......she did the same thing.....she just did upposite colored mulch and bricks.

Since her's sounds like a less-than-great copy of yours, just decide that her sorry apartment emphasizes how fabulous yours is. Keep adding your touches knowing that whatever she does, yours will always have the extra "oomph" that comes creating, not copying.

[Christina98]

I don't see a problem here, except in your view of things.

If she had seen a picture of your apartment in a magazine, loved it, and decided to copy it (which is what people do all the time, even decorators do this), it wouldn't be a problem, would it?

She was obviously impressed with the wonderful, creative ideas you have come up with--but you don't hold a patent on those ideas! Why shouldn't she prefer her apartment to look similar to yours, rather than what YOU described as a boring, standard apartment?

Why do you expect other people to have the same talent for decorating that you do? And are you so insecure that you can't tolerate someone (who obviously looks up to your sense of style) experimenting to see if they can do something similar? (By your own words, everything she has done is SIMILAR, not exactly the same.)

If I were in your shoes, I would be flattered, not angry. But I think the key here is that you start by saying that you hate her.

That makes it sound like you are looking for an excuse to be angry with her, and you're choosing her decor as the object of your rage.

Don't you have your own life to live? Aren't there more important things to do with your energy?

It really sounds to me like what she is doing is absolutely harmless--and what you are doing is more obsessive than what she is doing. And that's my impression based on YOUR post--I haven't even heard her side of the story!

You wrote that you are seriously looking for good advice. I'm fairly sure that what I am writing here is NOT what you want to hear. But that doesn't mean that it's not good advice.

I am looking for advice and what you wrote i donrt necessarily Dont wnat to hear ....at all.I may be stupid for letting her stupid ways get to me because it is a pet peeve to me howver when you say:

that I am looking for an excuse to be angry with her, and you're choosing her decor as the object of your rage. IS WRONG. I am angry with her from her past when she started hating me first and she began tons of trouble behind my back when I had nothing to do with her....so I then in turn resent her ways more because she has created tons of problems in the past with other neighbors (she would lie about me as to turn people against me)

AND yes I DO! You said "Don't you have your own life to live? Aren't there more important things to do with your energy?"

This is my pet peeve and I am sure you got your own.

You also said :It really sounds to me like what she is doing is absolutely harmless--and what you are doing is more obsessive than what she is doing."

You sound like you are a little off line by saying I am being obsessive and she isnt.

I came here to vent and thats what I am doing.....I am clearly the sane one hear and it bothers me that SHE seems so obsessive and competiitive with someone she hates back.

And about your comment with the decor web site: your right there is a channel for that but its not ny channel and I would be embarassed and see a problem with someone who lives 10 ft across from me and there house inside and out mimicks mine.Its a small complex we live in and you do see in when your lights are turned on....we are too close together.

lastly i am petty for letting her urck me but atleast I am sane.

She does mimick everything and not kinda...its all the same just maybe opposite colors.

[Christina98]

Since her's sounds like a less-than-great copy of yours, just decide that her sorry apartment emphasizes how fabulous yours is. Keep adding your touches knowing that whatever she does, yours will always have the extra "oomph" that comes creating, not copying.

I hear ya....maybe I will keep adding my creativity.....but I get sick of the copying .....I like to be unique and i hate competition!!!! Because evrything I do here is the best and I am always complimented.....she has a nature about her where she wants to take that away so she becomes the best....I just ahte stupid jealous Bitches! OOOOOPPSSS did I say that B...... word, can I say that on here?

[Jestgar]

I hear ya....maybe I will keep adding my creativity.....but I get sick of the copying .....I like to be unique and i hate competition!!!!

welllll..... if you do something well, better figure out now how to deal with it, 'cause it'll be happening your whole life. Someone copying you doesn't make you less unique, and it doesn't take away from what you've accomplished. It does show that you are worth admiring, however.

[angel-jd1]

I say get over it and move on. Take her using your decorating style as a compliment. Move on with your life and don't obsess over this lady. I am not sure how you are finding out how the inside of her home looks if you haven't spoken in years?? Anyways, take it as a compliment and move past it. It is unhealthy to keep dwelling on things like that.

[Christina98]

I say get over it and move on. Take her using your decorating style as a compliment. Move on with your life and don't obsess over this lady. I am not sure how you are finding out how the inside of her home looks if you haven't spoken in years?? Anyways, take it as a compliment and move past it. It is unhealthy to keep dwelling on things like that.

its an apt cmplex we live in and ride acrioss from each other.....I wonder the same thing how did she see my whole place ????? BINOCULARS plus my blinds are not constantly closed.

Its not obsession its annoyance.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Ummm...how do you know what the inside of HER place looks like????

[codetalker]

Id love to let it go but I got to first learn how to do it cuz me.....by myself....iwill not accomplish much

If you can't let go, then try the opposite: totally embrace it.

My brother taught be something invaluable a long time ago. It had to do with how to fall asleep when there was an annoying, irritating noise that kept you from sleeping, such as someone snoring, a dog barking, a faucet dripping, a neighbor with a noisy party, etc.

The secret is not to try to ignore it. Rather, it is to totally embrace it. Listen to it intently. Notice every aspect and nuance. Make it a part of you and totally accept it. Purge every negative emotion and reaction.

I've tried it multiple times and it has always worked. Perhaps the same strategy can work here.

If your neighbor is copying you, then compliment her on her good taste. If what you have created and done is beautiful, tasteful, original, exciting, then look for, embrace and appreciate the reflection of those qualities in the copycat's handiwork. If the neighbor's apartment/yard is a mirror-image of yours, then imagine you are looking in a mirror and seeing your own apartment/yard.

Regardless, best of luck dealing with what is obviously a bad situation.

[Jestgar]

The secret is not to try to ignore it. Rather, it is to totally embrace it. Listen to it intently. Notice every aspect and nuance. Make it a part of you and totally accept it. Purge every negative emotion and reaction.

hm. Sounds like incredibly simple advice, that would be incredibly difficult to practice.

I really like it. Sounds like something I could use for a lot of aspects of my life.

[celiac-mommy]

I'm sorry, but you did post this asking for other's opinions, not just to vent, so it's really not fair to get on our cases when we present the asked for opinions. I have to agree with Fiddle-Faddle as well. Can I recommend a book to you--The Power of Now--I think you would get a lot out of it. You cannot control the thoughts and actions of others, only your own. I really don't mean that to sound condescending, it's really a good book and has helped me a ton. Sorry to be so blunt, but get over it or move

[Juliebove]

I had this same thing happen many years ago, but it wasn't a girl. It was an older woman. She put up the same seasonal decorations inside her apartment as I did. We had drapes in those apartments and I used to leave mine open so my plants could get sun. I guess this is how she knew what I did.

Then one day she had the nerve to steal my plants!

I had this little plant table that I bought where I worked. It was made of brown plastic and had a recessed well in it so you didn't need saucers under the pots. I had herb plants in it, in the original pots they came in. I put the whole table outside when I left for work. I also put out my Boston Fern. Put them on my front porch so they could get more sun.

Then when I came home, they were gone! I had to pass by her apartment on the way to the mailbox and there they were in her apartment.

I rang the bell. She was home. She claimed she had bought them. I really had no way to prove that I owned them so I just let it go.

Within days she was gone. Totally packed up and *poof*. I don't know if she just moved or got kicked out. She was only there for a few months. That particular apartment couldn't seem to keep people in it for very long at all.

In your case I don't think there's much you can do at all, except to try to ignore her.

I also worked with a woman who copied me. I was living on Cape Cod at the time and the stores we had were limited. So it was inevitable that things bought locally would be rather common to see. But even the stuff I bought online was copied. She went so far as to get the same hair cut and to color her hair like mine. It was creepy!