Aaaaaaaaaack

[aljf]

i just ate a huge stack of cookies leftover from a group lunch at work! aaaack! help! why do i keep doing this?! already feel sick!

[KaitiUSA]

I'm sorry you are feeling bad....not only are the symptoms not worth cheating but the damage it is doing to your system. We all make mistakes but we must be dedicated to feeling better and healing ourselves otherwise you are harming yourself and putting yourself at risk for cancer, osteoporosis. At this point I have no desire to even cheat and when I feel like I want to have something with gluten in it I think of not only how I will feel but the risks really frighten me.

Hang in there...what symptoms do you get when you cheat?

[celiac3270]

Did you purposely cheat or was it the absent-minded thing? I've done that type of thing before (when I started the diet). I found myself just naturally gravitating towards food.....which was, 90% of the time, something I couldn't....I would usually catch myself just in time. Many people in the beginning, if making non-gluten-free pasta for the rest of the family, might try one noodle to see if it's cooked--that type of thing.

Don't worry--I did that sort of thing once or twice and came close to doing it countless times. Eating is something non-celiacs do mindlessly. All you need to do is adjust your habits--this will come naturally--so that you always think before picking up any piece of food.

[tarnalberry]

I agree with celiac3270 - if it was an absent minded thing because you haven't been on the diet that long, remember that it'll take some time to think of food as "guilty until proven innocent" (with respect to gluten content, of course! ;-) ). If you knew you shouldn't eat them, but did anyway...

Let me pull up a couch for you, grab a legal pad and sit in a big leather chair, assume my most shrink-like voice, and say: "Why do you think you keep doing this?" :-) I won't go further, since I'm going to presume that the absent minded thing is the more likely answer, unless you say otherwise!

[pmrowley]

Okay, I'm going to be a little harsh here, so bear with me. Sometimes, a little tough love is needed. I'm not going to whitewash anything here, so if you don't want to hear it, don't read any further.

First off, Let me say, I know how you feel. I was diagnosed with celiac disease 25 years ago, when I was 9 years old. I also have asthma, likely linked to my celiac disease, since autoimmune conditions tend to go hand-in-hand. I always use to think, "Why is all of this happening to me? It's not fair!" I tended to get depressed, particularly at lunchtimes at school, looking at a plain rice cake, an apple, and maybe a can of vienna sausages. Lunchtimes sucked, dinner sucked, breakfast sucked, snacktimes sucked, birthday parties were unbearable, and I could never go to McDonald's and get anything other than fries.

What did I do? I got over it. I realized that this diet was a fact of my life, and I could either live with it, or ignore it and be miserable and in poor health forever. I realized that my condition wasn't nearly as serious as something like blindness, missing a limb, paralysis, cancer, etc., and that tens of thousands of people live their whole lives with harsher problems. Gluten-Free foods are 100 times easier to find these days than they were 25 years ago. (No support websites in the early 80's!) People are far more accomodating now, particularly as this condition gets more attention.

I think you might need a little perspective. I'd suggest visiting a Children's hospital, and seeing what some of these kids have to deal with every day of their young lives. All in all, our diet isn't really such a bad thing, when you really think about it. Yes, it's daunting, particularly in the beginning. Ask for help. Explain your condition to your coworkers, family, friends. Don't keep it a secret! I think you'll be surprised as to how nice people can be, once they understand the facts of the condition, and realize the seriousness of the situation. DON'T be ashamed of it! People with peanut allergies pushed to the point where I can't get peanuts on airplane flights any more! Don't let yourself get pushed around, and don't get tempted to cheat. You really need to ask yourself, and then be truthful, why you ate those cookies. Accident? Do you really think that? You know darn well that those cookies weren't gluten-free. You cheated, and were hoping you wouldn't get "caught." Unfortunately, we always get caught, regardless of whether anyone is around or not.

Gluten is poison to us, pure and simple. You must make a conscious decision to deal with it. If cookies are a temptation, buy a box of gluten-free cookies and keep them in your desk. Absent-mindedness is forgivable for a while, particularly when you're starting out, but if you're going to heal, you need to do this full-force, for the rest of your life. Like Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try."

-Pat

[Carriefaith]

I realized that my condition wasn't nearly as serious as something like blindness, missing a limb, paralysis, cancer, etc., and that tens of thousands of people live their whole lives with harsher problems.

That exactely how I feel! When I first found out I had celiac disease for sure, I said well it could have been a lot worse, like cancer or something. I am actually thankful that it wasn't anything extrememly serious.

I'm not perfect though, I do feel sorry for myself somethimes and wish that I could go and order a hudge pizza and indulge! but I just realize that there are people starving in this world and I should be fortunate to be able to eat healthy foods, even though they are gluten and lactose free!

Just my opinion, nothing personal here

[Rikki Tikki]

I agree that there are worse things we could have and that there are so many people that are worse off.

However, that being said I don't think we should downplay the impact this disease has on our lives. It is very difficult, it changes your ability to go out and eat, be with friends, date etc.

It can be controlled with diet but I think we shouldn't forget how hard it is at first to make the changes we have to make to stay healthy.

I think many of us have come to the conclusion that it's not worth the pain, dmaage and suffering we inflict on ourselves if we cheat.

It is also very hard when we get cross contamination, or don't know one ingredent is gluten, it's a learning process.

Now, come on though, you had to know the cookies were off limits

aljf. SO be kind to yourself. I think you will learn you don't want to pay the price by eating something with gluten

[Rikki Tikki]

Aljf:

We are here for you. Remember to take care of yourself. There are a lot of us that are where you are or have been there.

[ianm]

You can deny it all you want but this is not going to go away. You are going to have to start exercising some self control. If you keep eating poison eventually it will catch up to you and by then it will be too late. You only get one body so take care of it. Cheating is fun while you're doing it but there is a price to pay. Is it really worth it?

[Rikki Tikki]

The funny thing ianm is that the couple of times I cheated (long ago) it didn't taste that great. I really don't miss it and really don't miss the symptoms.

I think the one thing I do miss is the socializing that our culture does around food. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I like the way you say things right to the point or the heart. It's good!

[KaitiUSA]

Sally-

I know what you mean...when I cheated a while ago last year it didn't even taste good and a bite into it I threw it away...I still got sick though but it would have been worse had I ate the whole thing.

[ianm]

Sally I have absolutely no desire to eat that junk ever again. I was so sick and tired that I just got sick and tired of being that way. I wasted the first 36 years of my life because of it and just can't bear the thought of wasting one minute more. You can still socialize around food as long as it's gluten-free.

Thank you for the compliment. Life is to short to waste beating around the bush.

[KaitiUSA]

Ian-

I agree..I do not have the desire to eat that crap anymore either..you are so right we only have 1 life and 1 body and we should treat it right.

Once your gluten free and get used to it you won't even want to eat those foods...I get the shivers when I go down the bread aisle at the store sometimes I just despise gluten now.

[aljf]

Thank you so much Pat, Carrie, Sally, Ianm, Kaiti, all of you...

I especially appreciate the "tough love" words. The truth is that I *do* need to just "get real," as Dr. Phil would say. (I just love him.) My stomach IS a lot better when I eat well for a few days, and it is in bad shape when I don't. The truth is that I have been eating a lot of gluten-free junk food (like ice cream and candy) to compensate for not being able to have gluten, and that junk makes me feel sick too. Then sometimes I don't even know WHY I am feeling sick (like today, when I was just finally like f&*(* it and had some cookies). But of course you are all right. It doesn't make sense if you are feeling sick to make yourself sicker! And the mentality "oh, I screwed up today, might as well keep going and be 'good' again tomorrow" is just nonsense-- we're not talking about like a weight-loss diet here, we're talking about villi damage, cancer, osteoporosis, and all the zillion other things.

So, yeah, I really really appreciate the toughness.

I need a little of it!!!!

[mela14]

Getting sick on purpose makes no sense to me. I reserve those times for when I am out and accidentally get hit with something!

My husband threw me a surprise bday dinner this weekend. it was so nice. I made sure I spoke with the waitress and ordered my plain food while everyone else had this beautiful meal. I was so proud of myself for doing so well and happy that I ate the things that wouldn't hurt me and I would feel ok the next day. i was even able to socialize with my friends and had a great night!

Then it hit! I did everything right....we even went out dancing afterwards and I didn't even order a drink. i woke up feeling sick. the gut started in and all the other symptoms followed. I spent the next 2 days in bed with vertigo, muscle pain, stomach pain, racing heart and fatigue. I was so out of it the only thing I could do was lay on the coach all day.

It's a good thing I ate all the RIGHT things! Imagine how worse off I would have been if I sat there intentionally eating gluten. I hate having wasted days probably more than the fact that I feel ill. I just want to do so much more and I can't do it if I am feeling sick all the time.

try to stay focused and positive. There's so much more to life than just eating a piece of cake. Eating gluten-free will only help you to feel well so that you can do all the other thngs that make you happy!

good luck,

[Maggie1956]

Hi aljf, We all do these things. It's important to take the best care of yourself that you can. I've been gluten-free since Dec. 2004, and sometimes at the beginning I would 'sneak' something which I knew had glutten. But, it really wasn't worth the pain and the worry that I was further damaging my body. So now I try not to eat anything harmful.

Something which helps me a LOT is to find gluten-free alternatives. There are heaps of good brands around which are gluten-free. I can't give you a list, as I'm in Australia, but I know there are many in America etc. as well.

Once I found the gluten-free alternatives, it seems to stop the binge eating, and therefore, you feel so mauch better, physically and mentally when you know you're doing the best for yourself.

Cheers, and be well.

[Rikki Tikki]

I agree Mel, getting sick on purpose does not make sense. I do however remember being so angry about this, (maybe a little denial going on) that I ate the food. It was only after getting tired of being sick and tired that I decided it was not worth it.

Anyway I think sometimes you have to suck it up and make a decision that you want to live and be healthy. It can cause way too many problems and other illness's like cancer to keep eating it.

In the end aljf it's really up to you.

[luvs2eat]

Yea, I don't get eating gluten on purpose either. I had mild gastro symptoms for a long time and used to think I might be able to "plan" a gluten cheat... a beer here, a yummy piece of homemade bread there... but then I realized that I'd become so sensitive that there are no on purpose cheats for me!

I have that "romantic" craving for gluten. It's like smoking. I know darn well that it makes you cough and feel lousy... but I still crave a smoke. I want to feel it go into my lungs and see it blowing thru my lips. I know... it's sick.

I still don't have all the symptoms I read about on this board, thank goodness. And, from the beginning (loving to cook) I've always said... in the scheme of life and the things that can go wrong with people's health?? Celiac disease is nothing.

[Rikki Tikki]

What a good attitude!

[westiepaws]

Sally is right, it is true that the longer you stay off the bad stuff, the less it tastes good when you eat it.

I am trying (and mostly succeeding) to eat all organic, too, as well as avoiding my allergic foods. The other day I tried a Coca-Cola, and you know? It tasted awful to me! It The thrill is totally gone. I'm just now adjusting to the reality of the diet and have been blue this week -- but realizing while reading this thread that not liking Coke anymore was a good thing -- that gives me hope! So you hang in there, too --

from one person "trying to accept gluten-free reality" to another.

P.S. I do most of my shopping in a market that offers tons of organic foods. I can avoid the processed foods and the bread section, the way it is organized. That helps. Once I was in the bread section and got a headache! They were baking something and the smell permeated the whole section.

[Guest nini]

I occasionally will have a nightmare about eating gluten! I will be dreaming along about eating breadsticks at Olive Garden, or The Garlic Bread at The Italian Oven or Outbacks Whole Grain Bread, and then I will wake up in a cold sweat thinking OMG!!!! I hope I don't get sick!!!!!!!

[Rikki Tikki]

That's funny nini

[Guest nini]

Yeah, and it was so true! When I posted that it made me crave garlic bread, so I had to go make a batch of Chebe Bread! Yummmmmm!

[Carriefaith]

The truth is that I have been eating a lot of gluten-free junk food (like ice cream and candy) to compensate for not being able to have gluten

I know what you mean, I get these werid cravings all the time (I didn't get them before going gluten-free) and hardley anything seems to satisfy them. However, I do find that French fries help me and Thai Kitchen Spring Onion Rice Noodle Soup. I eat Cavendish straight cut fries with Heinz ketchup and Heinz white vinegar. Whenever I get a craving I pop those in the oven. It usually works! But everyone has different cravings... just find the gluten free food alternative that works for you!