Annoying Friends

[Chef16]

I have been gluten free for 2 years so I've gotten pretty good at explaining Celiac (and everything that goes with it) to people, but I have these two friends who just DO NOT get it! They are twins and they come from a household where they don't even think about what they eat. I have tried everything I know; explaining what happens to my body when I eat gluten, how I make most of my food, ect. Even after being friends for over a year, they still don't understand that I can't eat gluten, not 'flour'. Pretty much every day they offer me food, that I can't eat and don't understand why I don't take it. They think that I'm overreacting and I just need to get some pill for it (I wish! ). Does anyone have any ideas? No matter how hard I try, I can't make them understand and they think that I don't accept their food because I don't like them!

[mushroom]

Someone on this forum coined the term "rat poison" for gluten, that every time we look at gluten we see a rat poison label on it, and there is no way we would consider eating rat poison. You could substitute whatever you want, arsenic, Round-Up, dog poop, whatever would completely gross you out or kill you, and give this analogy. Maybe they will get the idea if you can graphically describe the effects it will have on you if you have even one crumb of it, and that there is no antidote for it. If that doesn't get across to them, consider finding new friends.

[summerteeth]

Someone on this forum coined the term "rat poison" for gluten, that every time we look at gluten we see a rat poison label on it, and there is no way we would consider eating rat poison. You could substitute whatever you want, arsenic, Round-Up, dog poop, whatever would completely gross you out or kill you, and give this analogy. Maybe they will get the idea if you can graphically describe the effects it will have on you if you have even one crumb of it, and that there is no antidote for it. If that doesn't get across to them, consider finding new friends.

I use "shards of glass" and explain that that is what my stomach feels like afterwards. For people who just "don't get it" or think it would be okay for me to take "just a little bite", I get graphic. Then they get it.

[tarnalberry]

I would just be boringly repetitious. "Sorry, I can't have gluten. I don't want to be sick for two weeks."

[G-freegal12]

Think of the most vile, discusting, gastrointestinal discription of what happens to you, add a lot of exageration and tell them when they offer you something. It's acctually really, really fun to watch their faces shrivel up in that "Ohmanthatssogross" expression.. Start with "when the vile thing wriggles it's way down my throat it..." then get creative.

[gfp]

Some people will not and never will 'get it'.

Quite a few people here have the same problem and the best answer I can give is "At least you choose your friends".

I lost some of my oldest friends because they just couldn't (or wouldn't) get it.

>>Someone on this forum coined the term "rat poison" for gluten,

That was probably me: However Rat poisons are usually a lot less bad for you than gluten.

Strychnine used to be given as a medical drug where the lethal dose was about 32mg and under 5mg considered safe.

My father takes more Warfarin (a strychnine deriviative) a day than I could eat gluten in a weak...

[Squidge]

Tell them it's like a very sensitive allergy. They wouldn't expect someone allergic to peanuts to eat even regular M&Ms because of cross-contamination. Also, make them do research on it. I'm lucky, all my friends are chemists and chemists really understand cross-contamination.

[misslexi]

I would get snippy with them at that point. Something like "would you shove peanuts at someone with a nut allergy?" obviously, they should say no (or you really need new friends!) then say something like "then stop shoving gluten at me! its the same thing!"

so many people don't get it. I haven't been gluten-free for very long, and I already know its going to be hard. people don't understand how something they eat every day of their lives can make someone else so violently ill.

[Martok42]

How close are you to these friends? Is it not close enough that you wouldn't mind if you stopped hanging out with them? My suggestion, find smarter friends. No offense intended, just saying. That's what I would do.

[Rebecca Madrid]

Okay, I know this post is old but I wanted to comment.

I was away at school in NL and I'm from ON. After 6 months of severe illness following over a year of minor symptoms, I finally took it upon myself to find the problem. eventually I started getting better really slowly, but living off dining hall food was chalk full of cross-contamination issues. Needless to say it has been a slow recovery.

Now to the point, I lived in a house with 100 people who liked to ask questions, make funny faces, etc. This kinda got to be routine after a while, and I got accustomed to the repetitive answers we've all used. But my roommate just wouldnt get it, she was rude and ignorant. She'd get frustrated when I wouldn't split on a pizza, like i was an inconvenience to her.

Usually when I got sick I would spend the night on the bathroom floor so as not to wake her. Next time dining hall got me, I was not nearly as courteous. I stayed in the room that night, and after almost 8 hours of waking up to me being violently ill, she finally realized the severity and stopped acting so oblivious.

Obviously this is not advice in any form, I just thought I would share the hilarious way in which i helped my roommate to understand.

The advice I do have is, try to be patient, its hard to understand if you've never been there, and look for people who have more in common with you. For example, my new roommate has a peanut allergy so she is really respectful of me as I am her.

[stef-the-kicking-cuty]

I've had so many "friends" in the past, that I thought, were really good friends, only to find out, that they "just don't get it". Even though at first it really hurt cutting off the connection, I am now happier and glad, I did it. I was at the point, where I thought, I'd rather have only one friend, but therefore a good friend. So I started saying good bye to some. And guess what, I got new friends, who really understood me. It really hurt at the beginning and you won't forget that fast, but it's worth doing it every time.

[kareng]

It's the annoying relatives that are harder to cut out. They have a way of popping up at family gatherings.

[poiuyanthony]

they're idiot

just say you can't have it

they wont understand about the molecular breakdown in the villi anyways

so when they ask why just say i cant eat gluten

and ask them to please stop offering you food if they cant get it right

maybe one day...

[trilobitian]

Oh my gosh I know what you mean!!!

I have one friend who thinks you can "cook the gluten off" on like grills and stuff. That burning it off "kills it" and that even if someone touched my food after they touched someones bun without washing their hands that it wasn't "like it's that sensitive anyway"

I feel bad that I have to say something so obvious like "you can't just kill off the gluten by raising the temperature because gluten isn't alive. The idea of sanitizing is for things that are alive. Gluten isn't alive or dead, it just is."

And "yes, it is that sensitive. It can seriously hurt me."

I get so frustrated!

[Mike7]

In a situation like this have you tried telling them that you are seriously "allergic" to gluten and that gluten is in most foods. They must understand that if someone is seriously allergic to peanut butter, they can die from eating it. Try that and hopefully it will shock them enough to never offer you gluten-packed snacks again...unless they are are incredibly twisted with understanding the human body.