Just Needing To Vent!

[kaki-clam]

Since being diagnosed, I have found this website/forum invaluable..but it seems to me that I have acquired a problem or twelve that can't be helped. I have posted on here how sick I have been, what symptoms I have been experiencing and the fact that my boyfriend couldn't handle my illness and walked out....

The problem now is...I can't seem to move on. I think about my ex everyday (he left 2 months ago), I have tried to e-mail him, I have tried to call...all to no avail..he shut the door on me and has no intentions of looking back. I can't seem to find anything to fill the void in my life. I have missed countless hours of work..I feel fine when I am home, but work makes me tense, anxious and then the symptoms return. I have gone to counseling, and although that seemed to help while I was there, it didn't help me be able to cope with life and work. I have considered leaving my job, but the economy is so bad in my area that I just don't have any where else to go. I tired yoga, but i can't relax....I have hobbys but they are things that I do at home..we are buried under two feet of snow here in central Maine and I don't have any outdoor winter hobbies. I just moved into my new apartment and am in a lease so once again...stuck. I feel like I am at the end of my rope and the knot is coming untied. My friends have been so supportive through the entire process but they are even tiring of me too. I cry all the time..my dog is sensing my anxiety and acting out which causes further stress in my life.

I never thought of myself as a sickly person...I never called out from work unless I was truly ill, and now I just can't seem to face the world outside the walls of my apartment. I try to go to work, but always end up coming home. My FMLA time is running out and will not renew until next September...I have got to find a way to get on with the living...I just don't know how.

there are no celiac support groups close enough for me to be able to attend. There isn't a lot of activities in this area, and I don't know how to find out what activities there are. I want to go out, I want to meet people..I want to get back at least part of the life I use to live.......

Does anyone know how to help me? Has anyone ever experienced anything like this...how do I cope with my life, my job, my illness..and move on???

[jackay]

I want you to know I care. I don't have answers for you but I do hope knowing others care about you helps. Keep venting with this forum if it helps even just a little.

[Ahorsesoul]

You have many friends here that care about you.

First are you staying gluten free? This can contribute to your depression.

Guys, yes the move on for reasons we do not understand or accept. If he left, he was not the person for you. Something was wrong with him that he didn't see the wonderful person that you are. Heck even your dog is worried about you more than he is/was. Love up you dog, dogs will always be there for you.

Sometimes we have to pretend to be over someone to get over them. You can and will be able to do this. Once you do your life will open up to the possibilities that will come your way.

Feel free to scream, yell and complain here.

If you like to read (a good stay at home activity while you recover) I suggest reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward. It will take your mind on a vacation from your troubles. Find something, anything that you enjoy, no matter how small it is and do it today.

[mushroom]

Do any of your hobbies have an active group that meets, that you could join? Is there a book club you could join? That forces you to read the book and then get together with a group and discuss it.

Is there a "safe" place for you where you feel comfortable, like a weekend visit to mom, sister, someone supportive, to help get you over the hump, because that's what it is, a hump in the road, and once you get to the top of that hump, it will be downhill all the way. Not to minimize what you are going through, but it will end. Just trying to help you get to the top. You need something else to occupy your mind and thoughts. Is there a local skating rink? Nothing like falling on your *ss a couple of times to focus attention on the present

You sense you need some new activities, and you are right--something to get you out meeting new people and focussing on new things.

In the meantime, know we do care and you can talk to us any old time.

[Salax]

If you like to read (a good stay at home activity while you recover) I suggest reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward. It will take your mind on a vacation from your troubles. Find something, anything that you enjoy, no matter how small it is and do it today.

That is awesome series of books btw!

Moving on.....I know life appears to suck right now, but you are on the mend (right?, your gluten-free yes?) Your ex has to deal with himself and his issues, they are not your issues. Besides who wants a guy that will walk out at the first sign of a hardship? Your better than that, you deserve better than that.

I am going to be blunt and I don't mean to come off as rude, thats not me. But girl, your all grown up. Take a deep breath and keep on moving, if you don't get past the "fuzzies" your not going to enjoy it.

Get out there and live! Otherwise your not living, your wasting time.

I hope you feel better! *hugs*

[kaki-clam]

you are right Salax...I do need to put on my big girl pants and grow up...it isn't like this is my first break up or anything. I have always been able to cope with life and keep going..I don't know if it is the Celiac's and other stresses in my life that are causing this or what...I just can't seem to move over this hurdle. I am trying to find some groups that offer classes/actives in my area, but there doesn't seem to be much I will be visiting my mom this weekend and will get the books suggested since I do read alot and love to read and am always looking for good books.

Lastly...I have been gluten free for 4 solid months...those of you who are not from Maine might not know about our "italian sandwitches" and our "whoopie pies" but I gotta say, one delicious bite of either of those is trying my gluten free patients...but so far I have staid away.... :S

[Salax]

you are right Salax...I do need to put on my big girl pants and grow up...it isn't like this is my first break up or anything. I have always been able to cope with life and keep going..I don't know if it is the Celiac's and other stresses in my life that are causing this or what...I just can't seem to move over this hurdle. I am trying to find some groups that offer classes/actives in my area, but there doesn't seem to be much I will be visiting my mom this weekend and will get the books suggested since I do read alot and love to read and am always looking for good books.

Lastly...I have been gluten free for 4 solid months...those of you who are not from Maine might not know about our "italian sandwitches" and our "whoopie pies" but I gotta say, one delicious bite of either of those is trying my gluten free patients...but so far I have staid away.... :S

Ahh woopie pies (although I am from Vegas, yes I am a native...I do no what those are) my dad is from back east. So maybe thats the challenge you need? Do you like to cook/create? Try to recreate something that your missing from your gluten filled days?? Could be fun.....

Also, here in Vegas we have city sponsered type classes. For example; the city of Henderson always offers a bunch of classes/activities that you can sign up for (they run about $30 a pop), they range from sports to guitar lessons...Does your city have something like that? Perhaps, on the city website? Could be fun and meet some guys??

Have fun!!

[Ahorsesoul]

There are recipes for whoopie pie that are gluten free. You are not the only one craving them. Not sure what's on your local Italian Sandwiches but I'm sure they can be duplicated. There really is nothing that can't be made gluten free.

So what is on your Italian Sandwiches? I might want that for tomorrow's dinner! Tell me all about it.

[kaki-clam]

There are recipes for whoopie pie that are gluten free. You are not the only one craving them. Not sure what's on your local Italian Sandwiches but I'm sure they can be duplicated. There really is nothing that can't be made gluten free.

So what is on your Italian Sandwiches? I might want that for tomorrow's dinner! Tell me all about it.

Well...you start with a soft sandwich roll..it's like the nice soft bakery Italian bread, only for sandwiches, and you cut it down the middle part way...like a hot dog bun. Then, you put in either ham or salami...not both, and some white American cheese. Add sliced onions, green peppers, tomatoes, dill pickles and black olives..i like mine without the olives. Next you "dress" it with sandwich oil. Sandwich oil is like regular vegetable oil only with some slight seasoning in it....around here you can get it in the pickle aisle. Add salt and pepper and enjoy!!!

I can make the sandwich, but i haven't been able to find the right bread to make it a true Maine Italian sandwich. There is a bakery not too far from here (45 min drive) that i just discovered but haven't tried yet. I will be stopping there this weekend in hopes that they have the right bread.

Thank you for letting me know you are there and that there are other people who care and go through the same things...it really helps!!

[Ahorsesoul]

I can make the sandwich, but i haven't been able to find the right bread to make it a true Maine Italian sandwich. There is a bakery not too far from here (45 min drive) that i just discovered but haven't tried yet. I will be stopping there this weekend in hopes that they have the right bread.

Yum. This sounds like what I'd call a Poor Boy. I'm going to try this on Against the Grain rolls, kind of a cross between a croissant and french bread.

[gabby]

Sorry to hear that you are having difficulty adjusting. Everyone goes through this....because having celiac disease and going gluten-free is a complex thing, and it takes lots of time and effort and energy to figure it out and make it work. Four months is a great beginning. The first year is the hardest because you've got to do all your 'normal' things in a new way. Next year it will be easier. And each year after that will be better until one day you won't even remember what the 'old' days were really like.

In the meantime, it is a great idea to have a few projects on the go to be there for you when you are in need of support/friendship/distraction. I suggest getting several small projects going. None of them should be overwhelming. All of them should have an element of something you like.

There is a great online place that lists excellent and friendly groups of all sorts around the world. Everything from knitting, food prep, hiking, book clubs, dog walking, health groups, art, coffee clubs, and everything inbetween. Go to the site, punch in your postal code or your city and a long list of clubs will show up in your area. Then do a search for nearby towns for clubs that maybe you could be a part of once a week, once month or once every two months. Whatever you like.

As a knitter....I'm going to urge you to join a knitting group in your local area. Knitters are some of the nicest, happiest, most supportive and joyful people I know. Even if all you ever knit in your life is one big long scarf (or a doggie sweater)....the time spent with other knitters will be golden!

Here's the site: www.meetup.com

Good luck!

Hope that helps.

[kaki-clam]

Funny you should mention knitting...I am an avid knitter. I use to belong to a wonderful knitting circle, but the shop went out of business and the group broke up. I have searched and searched for a new group, but they all meet during the day while i am working I do have several knitting projects going along with some other crafts, but they don't seem to help me get out of the house anymore. I have checked out the meetup site and sadly again there isn't anything in my area that isn't over an hour away. I am trying to keep a more positive attitude these last few days and my day at work today was actually good...i even staid the whole day and made over 200 bucks in commission sales!!!! I hope that things will continue to improve from there...all the support from this website is soo helpful..it is always nice to know that one is not alone in what they are going through!!!!!!

[ravenwoodglass]

Funny you should mention knitting...I am an avid knitter. I use to belong to a wonderful knitting circle, but the shop went out of business and the group broke up. I have searched and searched for a new group, but they all meet during the day while i am working I do have several knitting projects going along with some other crafts, but they don't seem to help me get out of the house anymore. I have checked out the meetup site and sadly again there isn't anything in my area that isn't over an hour away. I am trying to keep a more positive attitude these last few days and my day at work today was actually good...i even staid the whole day and made over 200 bucks in commission sales!!!! I hope that things will continue to improve from there...all the support from this website is soo helpful..it is always nice to know that one is not alone in what they are going through!!!!!!

Perhaps you could start a group. You could do stuff like knitting baby and kids hats for donation. You could put up fliers at your local churches and library and one of them might even give you a free place to meet.

[luvs2eat]

You have so much going on... trying to stay gluten free... weak-ass boyfriend... job stress... winter blahs... it's no wonder you're flipping.

I'd like to recommend staying w/ the counseling. I'd stress to my therapist that dealing w/ day-to-day problems and longer-term goals is where you're headed.

Good advice here... this is a GOOD place to vent!

[gabby]

There's a great online knitting group where you can join various groups, go to forums, and ask around about knitting things in your area. It is called: www.ravelry.com I haven't checked, but there could be a celiac-knitters group. And if there isn't one, then you could start one!

There are these things called knit-a-longs where you sign up for a particular project, at a particular time, then get online and knit with others! You can post pictures of your projects, and get feedback on things. Be sure to check out the various groups you can join. I'm on there and belong to a bunch of groups around the world....lots of fun. And they are supportive too! If you are a crocheter, then check out: www.crochetville.com for all things crochet related.

Also, look up charity knitting on google and check out some of the great charities around the country that need small knitted items. Things like preemie baby hats, tiny preemy blankets, afghans for needy children (you don't have to knit the whole thing, often they are looking for squares), hospitals looking for chemo hats for adults, and chemo hats for kids made from fun fur yarn in cool colors, and squares for lapghans (afghans for wheelchairs) for nursing homes...) It makes the knitting you do very purposeful and meaningful.

Best of luck on getting things going!