Your Most Mortifying Bodily Function Story

[afreeclimber74]

It's good to talk about our embarrassments in life, because it helps us to get over them and stop giving them power over us.

So, I figured there must be other celiacs on this forum who have had embarrassing moments like me, and might like to laugh at mine and share their own.

A really good one for me was last September, while I was on a multi-day camping and climbing trip, with a girl I was totally sweet on, but had not yet taken the step of telling her how I felt.

On the last night of our trip, we ate dinner at a Mexican place and the waitress swore my food was gluten-free. But, apparently it wasn't.

Later that same evening I shared my feelings, we smooched a little to celebrate, and then we went to sleep in her tent. At about 3am or so, I woke up to the sounds and sensations of a waterfall inside me. I barely got out of the tent with enough time to run into the desert and blast myself inside out. I just hoped that she couldn't hear all the noise I was making.

As always, the feelings of weakness, sickness, and lethargy kicked in big time as I walked back to the campsite and crawled into my own tent, to spend the night laying in agony by myself.

My sweetie woke up the next morning and saw that I was gone, apparently from a fear of commitment? She got up, found me back in my own tent and asked me why I had disappeared. She was relieved to find out that I did indeed still like her, but that I was sick.

Just about then, some kids from another campsite were headed over in the direction of my blasting zone and started yelling "eeeeewwwwwwwwww! it looks like somebody crapped all over the place! eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww." I tried my best to ignore them and act like I had no connection to it at all. I hoped my sweetie didn't notice.

I then spent a very uncomfortable several hours in the truck on the way back home, trying my best to enjoy the new romance, but feeling like absolute crap.

Everything worked out just fine. We're still together, and, it turns out that she thinks poop is pretty funny. What a match!

[K8ling]

I had to flee a spouse social because I had "the waterfall". Also, had to wait out a doctors appointment with a specialist that had taken MONTHS to get. I stayed in the bathroom and my husband wrangled the toddler. It was very bad. The doctor was an ear nose throat specialist, not the type that would have understood. That was about a week before my bloodwork, and I had had a bagel for breakfast. BAAAD idea. EEEK. Oh yeah, that specialist? 45 minutes away from home!! Luckily I was just lethargic and feeling sick on the way home, not...ahem...messy sick.

[MagpieWrites]

Now, in my case, this came LONG before the celiac diagnosis - but like many, I've spent my life developing some serious Potty-Fu skills. I'm the gal to ask where the bathroom is - even if I've never been in the building before. Desperation will point the way. (Weirdly, the longer I'm gluten free and feeling healthy, this skill is atrophying!)

I also, by 17 (30 now) had completely burned out any sense of embarrassment or shame in diving for random lumps of greenery if all failed. (If asked which is preferred - Wide leaves in an open field or hay in a private bush? I always say go for the big leaves, you don't HAVE to ever see that farmer again if you don't want to)

However.

One day about 8 years ago, I was driving home from a long day of work and classes and had THAT moment. That... "Oh... crap!" knowledge that will tell a practiced soul they have 5 minutes to make some VERY serious and precise choices in their life.... or have the choices taken away anyway. And ruin your upholstery.

Busy town street. But no stores. Alllllll private homes. Not one with a soul...wait, wait! In the front yard of one was a tiny white haired old lady (if you read British mysteries, think Miss Marple) tending her lovely rose garden.

Into her life fell a squealing of tires and brakes, as my not too small backside dropped my car into her yard (no doubt tarnishing her golden years a tad. I'm 6'2 and built like a 2nd tier Valkyrie) and I pelted up to her in desperation.

All I could manage was a choked out "Ma'am, I SWEAR I'm not a serial killer. Here is my wallet, my mom's phone number is in the front, it's your call. Your roses... or your bathroom, and we don't have TIME to argue about it!"

She weakly pointed up the front steps, murmured something along the lines of "Top of stairs, left door???" before I bolted past her (Positive I would have a few moments of relief before being hauled away by the police.) 20 minutes of being sicker than I can tell (let me put it this way. Jeans - salvagable. Underware? Double wrapped and pitched. I ended up leaving in my emergency skirt I kept in my bag.) all the while waiting for the sound of sirens. I think I practiced my "Hello, officers. Of course I'll come quietly, but you might wish to put some newspaper down on the seat first" speech a few dozen times. I momentarily considered praying for : death/lightening/the Rapture/dimensional travel... but no. If the prayers in the car hadn't held this off, I wasn't going to be in much luck for any of those.

I cleaned the bathroom. Scrubbed it really. And when I couldn't put it off any longer (and realized the window was sealed so I couldn't just scarper) I went out to face the music...

It was a lovely mug of tea, really. And the cake was nice too. She told me my mother was worried and would see me at home.

8 years later and I can't pass a rose garden without blushing flame red... and giggling just a bit.

[sandsurfgirl]

Now, in my case, this came LONG before the celiac diagnosis - but like many, I've spent my life developing some serious Potty-Fu skills. I'm the gal to ask where the bathroom is - even if I've never been in the building before. Desperation will point the way. (Weirdly, the longer I'm gluten free and feeling healthy, this skill is atrophying!)

I also, by 17 (30 now) had completely burned out any sense of embarrassment or shame in diving for random lumps of greenery if all failed. (If asked which is preferred - Wide leaves in an open field or hay in a private bush? I always say go for the big leaves, you don't HAVE to ever see that farmer again if you don't want to)

However.

One day about 8 years ago, I was driving home from a long day of work and classes and had THAT moment. That... "Oh... crap!" knowledge that will tell a practiced soul they have 5 minutes to make some VERY serious and precise choices in their life.... or have the choices taken away anyway. And ruin your upholstery.

Busy town street. But no stores. Alllllll private homes. Not one with a soul...wait, wait! In the front yard of one was a tiny white haired old lady (if you read British mysteries, think Miss Marple) tending her lovely rose garden.

Into her life fell a squealing of tires and brakes, as my not too small backside dropped my car into her yard (no doubt tarnishing her golden years a tad. I'm 6'2 and built like a 2nd tier Valkyrie) and I pelted up to her in desperation.

All I could manage was a choked out "Ma'am, I SWEAR I'm not a serial killer. Here is my wallet, my mom's phone number is in the front, it's your call. Your roses... or your bathroom, and we don't have TIME to argue about it!"

She weakly pointed up the front steps, murmured something along the lines of "Top of stairs, left door???" before I bolted past her (Positive I would have a few moments of relief before being hauled away by the police.) 20 minutes of being sicker than I can tell (let me put it this way. Jeans - salvagable. Underware? Double wrapped and pitched. I ended up leaving in my emergency skirt I kept in my bag.) all the while waiting for the sound of sirens. I think I practiced my "Hello, officers. Of course I'll come quietly, but you might wish to put some newspaper down on the seat first" speech a few dozen times. I momentarily considered praying for : death/lightening/the Rapture/dimensional travel... but no. If the prayers in the car hadn't held this off, I wasn't going to be in much luck for any of those.

I cleaned the bathroom. Scrubbed it really. And when I couldn't put it off any longer (and realized the window was sealed so I couldn't just scarper) I went out to face the music...

It was a lovely mug of tea, really. And the cake was nice too. She told me my mother was worried and would see me at home.

8 years later and I can't pass a rose garden without blushing flame red... and giggling just a bit.

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. I love reading your posts! You write so well.

[sandsurfgirl]

The last one before diagnosis. I was with my kids at the beach and my husband met us after work. We went to dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant and of course I ate plenty of gluten.

I had my 2 and 5 year old in the car and husband was way behind me on the way home. He had stayed there for some reason a bit after us but I can't remember why.

I'm driving home which is only about 8 minutes. We are 4 miles from the beach. But my stomach suddenly just cramps up bad. I'm feeling like I have to go NOW but I have 2 kids in the car. I'm afraid if I park at Wendy's I won't make it while I take the time to unbuckle 2 car seats and carry my toddler. Plus they were both not wearing shoes.

I lifted up in my seat to relieve the pain and pressure and out it came. Jeans destroyed and now I can't sit back down to drive so my thighs are shaking from the pressure and pain of pushing my rear end off the seat the rest of the way home down a street with like 5 stop signs.

When we get home my son starts yelling as loud as he can so all the nosy neighbors on our very Wisteria Lane type street can hear "It smells like poo poo!!! Mommy did you poop your pants? I smell poop bad! Get me out of my carseat. I'm gonna throw up from the poop smell!"

Just then my husband drives up. I say I have to run and can he get the kids out of the car. My son yells to him "Daddy it smells like poop in the car! I think Mommy pooped her pants! Poop Daddy can you smell it?"

By this time I've got the door unlocked and I'm running to the bathroom. Of course hubby flat out asks me what happened. I told him it was just gas. No way was I going to admit the truth, even to him. I think he knew though.

[K8ling]

I love all of you for having the guts to post. I have been VERY very upset over this in the past...I was raised in a very buttoned up family and OH MY no one ever talks about things like this. It makes me feel better about me being a human with celiac lol.

Also, it took having my son in front of my husband to finally get me to the point where I can allow my husband into the bathroom at all when I feel like I am going to die.

[Shannonlass]

A low point for me was a couple of months prior to diagnosis when my symptoms had just accelerated beyond all belief. My husband and I were in Istanbul. We'd had breakfast (laden with gluten of course) and walked into the city center. On the way in I started to feel really nauseous, which wasn't unusual for me at the time. We got seats outside a Starbucks and OH got a couple of bottles of water and I put my head down, waiting for it to pass. Unfortunately the nausea turned nasty and I puked in the corner of the outside seating area, down beside my seat. I was mortified and distraught I couldn't apologize to the staff enough.

MagpieWrites....when I read about your spare skirt it reminded me that there were a few months where I'd a full set of clothes in my bag at all times out of fear. Depressing way to live isn't it?

[luvs2eat]

Now, in my case, this came LONG before the celiac diagnosis - but like many, I've spent my life developing some serious Potty-Fu skills. I'm the gal to ask where the bathroom is - even if I've never been in the building before. Desperation will point the way. (Weirdly, the longer I'm gluten free and feeling healthy, this skill is atrophying!)

I also, by 17 (30 now) had completely burned out any sense of embarrassment or shame in diving for random lumps of greenery if all failed. (If asked which is preferred - Wide leaves in an open field or hay in a private bush? I always say go for the big leaves, you don't HAVE to ever see that farmer again if you don't want to)

However.

One day about 8 years ago, I was driving home from a long day of work and classes and had THAT moment. That... "Oh... crap!" knowledge that will tell a practiced soul they have 5 minutes to make some VERY serious and precise choices in their life.... or have the choices taken away anyway. And ruin your upholstery.

Busy town street. But no stores. Alllllll private homes. Not one with a soul...wait, wait! In the front yard of one was a tiny white haired old lady (if you read British mysteries, think Miss Marple) tending her lovely rose garden.

Into her life fell a squealing of tires and brakes, as my not too small backside dropped my car into her yard (no doubt tarnishing her golden years a tad. I'm 6'2 and built like a 2nd tier Valkyrie) and I pelted up to her in desperation.

All I could manage was a choked out "Ma'am, I SWEAR I'm not a serial killer. Here is my wallet, my mom's phone number is in the front, it's your call. Your roses... or your bathroom, and we don't have TIME to argue about it!"

She weakly pointed up the front steps, murmured something along the lines of "Top of stairs, left door???" before I bolted past her (Positive I would have a few moments of relief before being hauled away by the police.) 20 minutes of being sicker than I can tell (let me put it this way. Jeans - salvagable. Underware? Double wrapped and pitched. I ended up leaving in my emergency skirt I kept in my bag.) all the while waiting for the sound of sirens. I think I practiced my "Hello, officers. Of course I'll come quietly, but you might wish to put some newspaper down on the seat first" speech a few dozen times. I momentarily considered praying for : death/lightening/the Rapture/dimensional travel... but no. If the prayers in the car hadn't held this off, I wasn't going to be in much luck for any of those.

I cleaned the bathroom. Scrubbed it really. And when I couldn't put it off any longer (and realized the window was sealed so I couldn't just scarper) I went out to face the music...

It was a lovely mug of tea, really. And the cake was nice too. She told me my mother was worried and would see me at home.

8 years later and I can't pass a rose garden without blushing flame red... and giggling just a bit.

That's one of the funniest and sweetest (at the end anyhow) stories I've ever heard!

[sandsurfgirl]

I love all of you for having the guts to post. I have been VERY very upset over this in the past...I was raised in a very buttoned up family and OH MY no one ever talks about things like this. It makes me feel better about me being a human with celiac lol.

Also, it took having my son in front of my husband to finally get me to the point where I can allow my husband into the bathroom at all when I feel like I am going to die.

Ooh I don't allow anyone into the bathroom. My kids try to barge in and I hate it. I don't want to see him in the toilet either. We have separate bathrooms!

[Kelly&Mom]

Wow, so I'm not the only one whose stomach randomly goes beserk!? 2 episodes, pre-diagnosis I can think of..... living in a 1 bath apt. shortly after my first daughter was born. Hubby in the shower, suddenly had to go so bad...... ended up using a trash can.......

2nd episode, Hubby and I were in Taiwan visiting a night market with fish, snakes, etc. out, suddenly my stomach did a flip and it was one of those moments where you know you need a bathroom NOW. Had to ride the subway back to our hotel and at every stop, we'd jump off the train and find the nearest bathroom. Their toilets are in the floor, usually no TP provided....... Was so relieved to finally get back to our hotel and a normal toilet with TP. Yikes! Thought maybe it was food poisoning at the time although we had actually eaten at Burger King for lunch that day......

I've had others where luckily I was at home and could deal with it, when I was pregnant, WOW, my digestive system was way off, would cause contractions and such.... Sorry all of you have to deal with this too. Hoping things will get better now

[sandsurfgirl]

Prediagnosis it wasn't only D with me. There were times when I just had to pee NOW and if I didn't go, it would irritate my bowel and cause me to run for the bathroom for that too.

When I was pregnant with my daughter my son was 2 1/2 to 3. I would carry a giant cup in the mini van because there were times I had to pee and could not make it to a bathroom with a toddler in tow. It got to be so common, me squatting in the second row seats that my son would say "Mommy are you peeing in a cup again?"

I was also really sick during that pregnancy, like throwing up the entire 9 months. Of course they told me to eat lots of bread and crackers. DOH! I used to have to go to public restrooms to throw up when we were out shopping all the time. One time in a crowded Target bathrooom my son started yelling "Mommy you frow up? You frow up Mommy? Mommy I see you frow up!!" I heard all these giggles in the bathroom and was so mortified to come out of the stall. Of course when they saw how preggo I was they understood.

My son generally likes to embarrass me I guess!

[kareng]

Prediagnosis it wasn't only D with me. There were times when I just had to pee NOW and if I didn't go, it would irritate my bowel and cause me to run for the bathroom for that too.

When I was pregnant with my daughter my son was 2 1/2 to 3. I would carry a giant cup in the mini van because there were times I had to pee and could not make it to a bathroom with a toddler in tow. It got to be so common, me squatting in the second row seats that my son would say "Mommy are you peeing in a cup again?"

I was also really sick during that pregnancy, like throwing up the entire 9 months. Of course they told me to eat lots of bread and crackers. DOH! I used to have to go to public restrooms to throw up when we were out shopping all the time. One time in a crowded Target bathrooom my son started yelling "Mommy you frow up? You frow up Mommy? Mommy I see you frow up!!" I heard all these giggles in the bathroom and was so mortified to come out of the stall. Of course when they saw how preggo I was they understood.

My son generally likes to embarrass me I guess!

Soon you will be embarrassing him, just by your existence.

[OptimisticMom42]

Loving this thread LOL. For me the gas is the worst. I cleared out an entire video game store with one fart! It was silent, but all the customers left and the clerk stepped back from the counter as I walked up. My son's face was so red but he really wanted that game. I will never eat gluten intentionally!

[MagpieWrites]

Depressing way to live isn't it?

Honestly? While I'm thrilled those days are gone (for the most part, the odd stomach bout still hits from time to time), and will be honest and say it certainly wasn't a fun way to have to live... it wasn't such a horrible thing either for me.

I have a WEIRD sense of humor, and come from a family who ALL have one serious health issue or another. After a while, I just learned to shrug it off and try to see the funny in it. There are some other health issues in my life, and I had to either learn early on to roll with it or give up. I don't do giving up real well.

It was hard. It was tiring. But I still managed to live a pretty (odd, granted) good life through it - and it taught me some serious adaptability skills! I'm pretty hard to shake now, and if the worse thing that happens is I make a fool of myself, well. Been there. Done that. Had to throw out the tshirt AND the pants!

There were parts of celiac before the diagnosis that were harder than others, some that nearly caused me to check myself out early. But the stomach issues? Not so bad, even at their worst. For example? Boy scouts look like unprepared flibbertigibbets compared to me. My purse/car/pantry are practical Aladdin's caves of readiness. Someone needs tp? Got it. Spare knickers? Size/cut preference? Advil? regular, extra strength, or generic? It's all worked out in the end, and like I said. It certainly wasn't something I'd WANT to have to deal with, but on the other side, it's made me who I am.

Which, granted, is a slightly off center odd bird, but hey. It works.

[looking4help]

Reading your post a light bulb came on for me. Never did I even put together the fact that with all 4 pregnancies I was violently sick and I was CONSTANTLY eating toast and crackers.

WELL DUH!!! No wonder I was throwing up sometimes as many as 20 times a day. With my last one I remember being so very sick that I just laid in the hall throwing up in a bucket that my oldest ran and brought to me because I just couldn't make it to the bathroom.

So, had I been gluten free I may have just enjoyed being a pregnant woman. Your post may just be the key to unlocking my hidden jealousy and hatred for prego women I see that are just "oh so bouncy" and enjoying their pregnancy.

Geeezz if only I had known!

**sigh**

Prediagnosis it wasn't only D with me. There were times when I just had to pee NOW and if I didn't go, it would irritate my bowel and cause me to run for the bathroom for that too.

When I was pregnant with my daughter my son was 2 1/2 to 3. I would carry a giant cup in the mini van because there were times I had to pee and could not make it to a bathroom with a toddler in tow. It got to be so common, me squatting in the second row seats that my son would say "Mommy are you peeing in a cup again?"

I was also really sick during that pregnancy, like throwing up the entire 9 months. Of course they told me to eat lots of bread and crackers. DOH! I used to have to go to public restrooms to throw up when we were out shopping all the time. One time in a crowded Target bathrooom my son started yelling "Mommy you frow up? You frow up Mommy? Mommy I see you frow up!!" I heard all these giggles in the bathroom and was so mortified to come out of the stall. Of course when they saw how preggo I was they understood.

My son generally likes to embarrass me I guess!

[sandsurfgirl]

Reading your post a light bulb came on for me. Never did I even put together the fact that with all 4 pregnancies I was violently sick and I was CONSTANTLY eating toast and crackers.

WELL DUH!!! No wonder I was throwing up sometimes as many as 20 times a day. With my last one I remember being so very sick that I just laid in the hall throwing up in a bucket that my oldest ran and brought to me because I just couldn't make it to the bathroom.

So, had I been gluten free I may have just enjoyed being a pregnant woman. Your post may just be the key to unlocking my hidden jealousy and hatred for prego women I see that are just "oh so bouncy" and enjoying their pregnancy.

Geeezz if only I had known!

**sigh**

I had lots of other pregnancy problems. Bleeding, contractions, preterm labor, the worst most horrible pelvic pain imaginable like someone was gutting me with a knife, joint pain so bad I could hardly walk. My son was a month early and my daughter I was in labor from 34 weeks on. I called my OB after my diagnosis and told her about it. She attributes ALL of it to untreated celiac!!!

I was such a mystery to her and it all made sense in light of celiac.

[looking4help]

Oh I could write novels on my horrible pregnancies. I almost lost all 4 and was hospitalized with everyone of them with preterm labor, dehydration and more. First 2 were early and my son was born and had to be kept in NICU b/c of complications. Last one was the healthiest of all b/c I began to live on rice at the end of the pregnancy. Thank GOD for that.

I had lots of other pregnancy problems. Bleeding, contractions, preterm labor, the worst most horrible pelvic pain imaginable like someone was gutting me with a knife, joint pain so bad I could hardly walk. My son was a month early and my daughter I was in labor from 34 weeks on. I called my OB after my diagnosis and told her about it. She attributes ALL of it to untreated celiac!!!

I was such a mystery to her and it all made sense in light of celiac.

[polarbearscooby]

Wow.

Reading these stories I realize that I'm not the only one!!

I have quite a few stories that will NEVER surface again!! Ever.

But I know that horrible "you've got five minutes" find a bathroom feeling!! and the "To late" feeling.

Thank God! I've never actually pooped myself. But I've come close, and had some horribly embarrassing choice to make...

Thank you for sharing though, showed me I wasn't alone....

[sandsurfgirl]

Oh I could write novels on my horrible pregnancies. I almost lost all 4 and was hospitalized with everyone of them with preterm labor, dehydration and more. First 2 were early and my son was born and had to be kept in NICU b/c of complications. Last one was the healthiest of all b/c I began to live on rice at the end of the pregnancy. Thank GOD for that.

I can't believe you did it 4 times. I wanted 3 or 4 kids but I just don't have the health for it.

After being so sick for the past couple of years before diagnosis, as much as I would love another baby I just can't do it. I'm gluten free now but I'm terrified that I will get really sick during pregnancy again and I just can't take it. I've suffered too much and have only felt good again for about 6 weeks. Then one glutening and I've been down for 4 days.

Another mortifying story. I was working at a store in Beverly Hills when I was home on break from college. I was trying to eat "healthy" so I was going to the health food store up the street and getting all sorts of stuff made with whole wheat!!!! Of course my gut was a total mess. I was in an aisle straigtening pillows when I got the worst attack of gas and so much pain. Nobody was in the aisle so I let it go quietly.

I went to another part of the store and I heard someone go to aisle, make a gagging noise and leave. Then another person same thing.

I went back to the aisle twenty minutes later or so and it was still lingering! Thank God nobody knew it was me who did it!!

[looking4help]

I can't believe you did it 4 times. I wanted 3 or 4 kids but I just don't have the health for it.

Well, let's just say I was a fertile mrytle as the saying goes. On 2 of them I was using protection and one of those was the pill AND a condom!

I never put it together that it was gluten issues but now looking back I can see it so clearly! *sigh*

I really believe the only things that saved me on the first 3 were the hospitalizations and living on IV fluids so much. You can imagine that I hardly gained a pound with any of them. All were small and early with my son being the earliest of all. I really believe that my last one was a better the last 3 months due to the fact that I ate rice ALL the time and when I say all the time I do mean ALL the time. I ate NOTHING else for the last 3 months because up it would come.

With the 4th one which happened WITH birth control I had my tubes tied immediately after birth. I just couldn't do it again and my dr. agreed that I was just not fit for being pregnant. Well, now I look back and think how much I could have enjoyed it had I known about the gluten aka POISON!!

[K8ling]

My hope is that my next pregnancy will be VERY different (and MUCH better) since I know what I can't eat now. I want to enjoy the next pregnancy, not just lay around on my bathmat

[Frances03]

I can chime in with stories for both the pregnancy AND the mortification factor. I've had hyperemesis FOUR times and for those of you that don't know what it is, it's extreme nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. I have 3 sons, and the 4th baby we lost in the 2nd trimester. With that one, I was so sick I was hospitalized and given a picc line and fed with tpn (liquid nutrition in a bag that goes in your picc line). I am now pregnant again, after 3 miscarriages in a row during my undiagnosed stage, and I AM FEELING SO GOOD!! I am still sick and nauseous, but I am not vomiting, and I can FUNCTION and actually take care of my family. I'm 10 weeks along today and hoping I make it to the end this time.

As for the mortifying part, my husband once took me and our kids on a trip to some Montana ghost towns. Halfway thru one, I suddenly had to GO, NOW. Now this is the type of ghost town that has earned it's name. There was NOTHING still alive, anywhere and certainly no bathrooms. I couldn't IMAGINE what I was going to do, but I didn't have long to consider it anyway. I had to run off and go, squatting down behind some bushes, while my husband God bless his heart, tore some 1800's wallpaper off the wall of an old, OLD house and brought it to me to wipe with. Neither one of us will EVER forget the time I wiped my a-- with 200 year old wallpaper.

[K8ling]

I can chime in with stories for both the pregnancy AND the mortification factor. I've had hyperemesis FOUR times and for those of you that don't know what it is, it's extreme nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. I have 3 sons, and the 4th baby we lost in the 2nd trimester. With that one, I was so sick I was hospitalized and given a picc line and fed with tpn (liquid nutrition in a bag that goes in your picc line). I am now pregnant again, after 3 miscarriages in a row during my undiagnosed stage, and I AM FEELING SO GOOD!! I am still sick and nauseous, but I am not vomiting, and I can FUNCTION and actually take care of my family. I'm 10 weeks along today and hoping I make it to the end this time.

As for the mortifying part, my husband once took me and our kids on a trip to some Montana ghost towns. Halfway thru one, I suddenly had to GO, NOW. Now this is the type of ghost town that has earned it's name. There was NOTHING still alive, anywhere and certainly no bathrooms. I couldn't IMAGINE what I was going to do, but I didn't have long to consider it anyway. I had to run off and go, squatting down behind some bushes, while my husband God bless his heart, tore some 1800's wallpaper off the wall of an old, OLD house and brought it to me to wipe with. Neither one of us will EVER forget the time I wiped my a-- with 200 year old wallpaper.

As a history major, my heart twinged when I read that HAHAHAHA

Hyperemesis? Over here too!! I threwup all the time, I had a ziplock bag in my pocket "just in case", THey finally gave me the anti nausea for CHEMO that cost $1500 for 10 pills!! Thank HEAVENS we were military so I didn't pay anything. Once I got that it was far better, although on hospital bedrest it kind of came back despite the pills. I am looking forward to my next pregnancy knowing that I am healthy and ready to grow another lil squash!