Convincing Husband To Get Tested.

[Roda]

I think I may have convinced the husband to go and get a complete physical. He has seen many doctors over the last five years for vasectomy complications, chronic sinus infections (had endoscopic sinus surgery last year) to high blood pressure. The ENT is wanting to test him for allergies since he is still getting infections. We know he is allergic just to what is to be determined. All these doctors seems to be treating everything individually and not looking at the whole picture. Never once in this time frame has anyone just looked at him and done a routine physical and blood work. He has always been what I call a moody man but it heightned 5 years ago from the complications from the sterilization. He has even had to be on antidepressants for the pain and depression. He quit taking it back in December after starting vitamin D. I expected him to loose weight after, but he is at the point that I don't think he should loose anymore. He is a very thin framed tall person anyway, but I think if he looses more he will look unhealthy. He does take alot of medications that can potentially wreck havoc on his stomach. He takes neurotin for the neuopathy (vasectomy related), two different blood pressure medications, tramadol and 6 regular strenth ibuprofen a day. He says he does not have an appetite and I have noticed more recently he is taking my prescription zantac occasionally. He also has a family history of mental disorders and bipolar. He has been having a terrible time with adult acne on his forhead that has flared up more than usual also. I mentioned to him, during one of my talks in hopes to get a completly gluten free house, that he should get tested. It is not unreasonable to think that two celiacs could be married. He said he couldn't have it because he does not have stomach trouble. I explained how alot of people suffer neurologic manifestations more so than intestinal. I also recently remembered that his paternal grandfather (side with the other problems) died of stomach cancer. They were not close at the time of his death, so I don't know what symptoms he had. All I know he was diagnosed and he did not undergo treatment and died soon after. Does anyone else think any of this is enough to at least screen with blood work? Well, more so to convince him to get tested? I don't think he would ask the doctor to test him. I know his current doc probably wouldn't and I am working with him to switch to the awesome new one I found. She is pretty sharp and she gets celiac. I don't think he would let me go with him either. I know this new doctor would problably off the bat do a complete blood count, complete metabolic pannel, and lipid profile at the least. Specifically I want him to have his liver and kidneys checked out because of some of the meds he is on and of course celiac tests. I am getting concerned about the weight loss plus he smokes around a pack of cigarettes a day. He is fairly young too he will be 35 next month.

[ravenwoodglass]

I hope he will consent to seeing your doctor. If he will remember that while the doctor can not discuss his medical matters with you, you can discuss your concerns about your husband with her. My going to my ex-husbands routine colonscopy was what got him diagnosed. Since the doctor was doing blood work anyway I suggested strongly that he add the celiac panel in. He did and my ex got diagnosed.

[kareng]

i was going to say what Raven said. You can call or write the doctor before he sees her and tell her all this. Good luck.

[Roda]

I'm just not sure how to convey all of this to the doctor without sounding pushy. Weird thing also for the last month or so both my boys have been complaining of tummy aches. They are not sick, just say their stomach hurts and point "all over." I know that they both have been having alot of gas pain and the youngest is complaining of having trouble going to the bathroom. He has never had a problem before. Both have been complaining enough for me to believe it is not just random. Hubby thinks that they are being just kids because all kids get belly aches. At first I thought the youngest one was just copying what the oldest one was saying until once he hurt bad enough he quit playing and laid down on the couch for awhile. I had both screened after my diagnosis. Unfortunately the lab did not recognize "celiac panel" and only did the IgA tTg and total iga. Both were normal at 1 and 2 with > 19 being positive(not iga deficient). I had the oldest screened again last year with all the tests and all were the same. So I am begining to wonder if I'm just paranoid about it with everybody including hubby. Of course with hubby he has other issues that concern me.

[ravenwoodglass]

I'm just not sure how to convey all of this to the doctor without sounding pushy. Weird thing also for the last month or so both my boys have been complaining of tummy aches. They are not sick, just say their stomach hurts and point "all over." I know that they both have been having alot of gas pain and the youngest is complaining of having trouble going to the bathroom. He has never had a problem before. Both have been complaining enough for me to believe it is not just random. Hubby thinks that they are being just kids because all kids get belly aches. At first I thought the youngest one was just copying what the oldest one was saying until once he hurt bad enough he quit playing and laid down on the couch for awhile. I had both screened after my diagnosis. Unfortunately the lab did not recognize "celiac panel" and only did the IgA tTg and total iga. Both were normal at 1 and 2 with > 19 being positive(not iga deficient). I had the oldest screened again last year with all the tests and all were the same. So I am begining to wonder if I'm just paranoid about it with everybody including hubby. Of course with hubby he has other issues that concern me.

All kids do not get bellyaches. I do hope your husband can get tested and/or that you can talk him into having a gluten free house. It sounds like the whole family could benefit. The fact that you are celiac makes the likelyhood that your children will be also pretty strong. It can take a while for the blood tests to show up positive. We also, as you well know, have a lot of us that don't show up on blood work. I wish you the best, with him being so resistant to testing it has to be hard.

[Roda]

I've often wondered what my DNA analysis would show. My insurance won't pay for genetic testing. I would like to get the whole profile done, not just look for DQ2 and DQ8, but don't know where or how much it would cost. Depending on what genes I have could it give an insight whether I passed them on to my boys?

[ravenwoodglass]

I've often wondered what my DNA analysis would show. My insurance won't pay for genetic testing. I would like to get the whole profile done, not just look for DQ2 and DQ8, but don't know where or how much it would cost. Depending on what genes I have could it give an insight whether I passed them on to my boys?

You could check out Enterolab. They don't diagnose celiac but they can do a gene panel and for your other family members they could do stool testing to see if they are forming antibodies. The kids would have gotten one set of genes from you and one from Dad. I was not tested by Enterolab until 5 years after diagnosis and did it mainly to see what genes I carry. Since I have a double copy of my genes we know the kids got of one of that gene from me.

[Roda]

My husband went to the dentist to have a cavity filled this week. In the last three years he has had so many fillings, a tooth extracted, a crown, and still needs another crown. This last cavity he had filled was just a watch area 6 months ago and upon his x-rays this visit it was discovered to be really bad. She told him that she had to drill really deep and that it would hurt alot and he may have to have it crowned if it bothers him. She put in his chart that he was to have x-rays every visit, which for us is every 6 months. The dentist is completely lost for a reason for why his teeth are decaying so rapidly. He does smoke and drink alot of diet soda, but I don't kow how much that could contribute. Otherwise he has very good oral hygiene brushing at least twice a day, flosses, uses mouthwash and we have florinated city water. Also my boys have had to have quite a few fillings also. Oldest son has a mouth full of fillings that started when he was 5 and thank goodness they are all in his baby teeth. So far all of his permanant teeth are fine. My youngest son had to have two fillings in his bottom 2 year molars at age three and then on the top two at four. This visit I insisted on x-rays and they found four more. Both of theirs are all between their teeth and the dentist says they need to floss better. She also said that without the x-rays the cavities would have gone unnoticed for quite awhile. She said to look visually in their mouths, they have the most beautiful teeth and you would not suspect there was anything wrong. We have instilled good tooth care all along with the boys so it's not a matter of us not taking care of them. I told hubby that there has got to be an underlying issue as to why his and the kids have so much problems with cavities. I know alot of people on here have issues with it. As for me, I guess I am lucky because I only have three fillings and did not get my first one until age 33 and I am 37 now. I mentioned to him when he goes for his physical (hint hint) that please ask the doctor to do tests for celiac. He said he would (he probably will accidently on purpose forget). I told him that by some dumb stroke of fate he ended up celiac it would make life alot easier at our house. He failed to see anything remotely humorous about that and said "that's all I need is something else wrong with me. I don't need some disease on top of everything else." I tried to assure him that at least he wouldn't have to take pills for it. Anyway, I think I am making progress with him. We ate supper tonight and we had pasta. Usually we cook both kinds and he went straight to the gluten free pasta and we all ate the same. I am also going to have the kids retested since they are still complaining with the stomach ache. I know our pediatrician will not order the tests so I have to figure out who will. We just changed allergist so maybe I'll get somewhere with them.

[ravenwoodglass]

Another thing to mention to hubby. Before my diagnosis I was taking a handful of pills every single day. Most of the things I was being medicated for resolved on the diet. I now only need one med instead of 7 and the destruction of my body was stopped cold once I was gluten free. If he really dislikes his ill health and all the meds the diagnosis and diet could take care of the other issues. In my mind the trade off of eating gluten free was well worth the loss of my tackly box full of meds.

[Roda]

Another thing to mention to hubby. Before my diagnosis I was taking a handful of pills every single day. Most of the things I was being medicated for resolved on the diet. I now only need one med instead of 7 and the destruction of my body was stopped cold once I was gluten free. If he really dislikes his ill health and all the meds the diagnosis and diet could take care of the other issues. In my mind the trade off of eating gluten free was well worth the loss of my tackly box full of meds.

Funny you should mention his "ill health." No he does not like it but he now has the mindset that he does not want to deal with it any more. We actually got into an argument (which rarely happens) over it. I was asking him if he was going to give anymore thought to a possible treatment for his PVPD and that's what started the argument. I was told that I don't get it and he was tired of being tossed around. I said "I don't get the physical aspect of it, yes, but the emotional stress is affecting everyone in the house." Even his mother called him out on the mood issues and she never butts in. I told him frankly I couln't accept his attitude of giving up and, that if he is, then he isn't the man I thought he was. It really must have bothered him because he talked to his mom about is a little and has been doing little things that say's I'm sorry. So we'll see. I just don't understand how he can't care enough about himself, it's like I care more. I know he gets annoyed with me at times by keeping on him about things, but if I don't he won't. No, I'm not like this with the rest of my family (brother who I know has celiac and wants no part of testing or knowing) but I'm not married to him.

[GlutenFreeManna]

I hope your husband comes around and gets the tests. I have been working on my husband too. He doesn't have a bunch of illness, but he has had stomach pains on his left side for the last few months (maybe longer, he didn't tell me until he was so bad he was going to a doctor about it). I have tried to convince him this pain could be from gluten (he is gluten free at home but eats gluten when out). I told him it's really easy for him to just ask for a blood test, but he hasn't done it yet. He tried eating gluten free when we went out to a restaurant and got frustrated by how few choices he had. I had to point out to him that I had even FEWER choices from the gluten free menu since I can't have soy or most dairy as well and I'm allergic to shellfish, mushrooms and pork. That shut him up from complaining, but I know he was not happy that his favorite items on the menu had gluten. The next time we went out, we were at a pizza place with friends and I told him he could either share a gluten free pizza with me or get a gluten pizza. He got a gluten pizza, but also tried mine and admitted it was better than he was expecting it to be. So I think my husband will slowly come around. He has been great about eating gluten free at home--he even insisted that if it made me recover faster and made things easier I should cook everything gluten free. But I think he is still struggling with the idea of giving up some of his favorite foods. He would rather deal with a little pain and eat what he wants than have to go to a super strict diet. I think a lot of men feel the same way, which is why we see more women pushing to get tested.

[Roda]

I hope your husband comes around and gets the tests. I have been working on my husband too. He doesn't have a bunch of illness, but he has had stomach pains on his left side for the last few months (maybe longer, he didn't tell me until he was so bad he was going to a doctor about it). I have tried to convince him this pain could be from gluten (he is gluten free at home but eats gluten when out). I told him it's really easy for him to just ask for a blood test, but he hasn't done it yet. He tried eating gluten free when we went out to a restaurant and got frustrated by how few choices he had. I had to point out to him that I had even FEWER choices from the gluten free menu since I can't have soy or most dairy as well and I'm allergic to shellfish, mushrooms and pork. That shut him up from complaining, but I know he was not happy that his favorite items on the menu had gluten. The next time we went out, we were at a pizza place with friends and I told him he could either share a gluten free pizza with me or get a gluten pizza. He got a gluten pizza, but also tried mine and admitted it was better than he was expecting it to be. So I think my husband will slowly come around. He has been great about eating gluten free at home--he even insisted that if it made me recover faster and made things easier I should cook everything gluten free. But I think he is still struggling with the idea of giving up some of his favorite foods. He would rather deal with a little pain and eat what he wants than have to go to a super strict diet. I think a lot of men feel the same way, which is why we see more women pushing to get tested.

He is alright eating most meals gluten free at home since we both feel it is easier to make things everyone can eat. All of my baked goods are gluten free. The only things in the house he eats that are not are bread, crackers, cereal and pasta. Occasionally he will buy doughnuts from the bakery. He eats most of this stuff for breakfast when I am at work and for lunch when I am sleeping. I've even went as far as only feeding my boys gluten free cereal and slowly trying to find a gluten free bread they will like. When I am in charge of the kids breakfast and lunches (except school) I make them gluten free because I don't want the hassle. If the boys want something with gluten usually their dad has to fix it. So he is very supportive for me, just doesn't like the idea that he or the boys could possible have this too. I think if any of them have to be gluten free it will be easier for the kids. They always ask for my stuff all the time. The two biggest things they will have trouble adapting to is not having bread and pizza. I have toyed with the idea of just going gluten free with the oldest, but it would be easier for school if he was diagnosed. I have a lot of soul searching to do.