Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Can I Vent For A Second?


dkelm

Recommended Posts

dkelm Rookie

I love my child, I really do. I love all my kids. But my baby is the most clingy baby ever. :( I know it's because he doesn't feel good, so I always hold him. But man, sometimes I just want to crawl into a dark hole and stay there for an hour just so I can have someone not touch me for one hour! I'm also tired of being the only one who cleans up the vomit and diarrhea. Yesterday, Matt vomited all over me. The day before, all over the street (cul de sac) outside while we were playing. I'm the one who had to drag in the baby, clean him up and then deal with him clinging to me while I went outside and washed up the puke! All my husband did was get the hose for me. I know he probably is overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do. But I don't want to boss him around either. I just want him to take the initiative and get up and help! Take the baby, even if he is crying for me. I feel like I constantly walk around with a vacuum and a mop in each hand, to clean up after kids. Even when it's not the kids fault, because it never is their fault when they are sick. My house is a mess, I am tired and I have no help!

I'm so tired. I'm way overwhelmed and my two older kids need to go back to school because their fighting is driving me nuts! lol


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



StephanieL Enthusiast

That would upset me too. No Mama should have to do it all.

I hane two suggestions for you:

1) Tell your husband exactly what you need. It would be nice but most of them don't read minds. There are so many things I *wish* my husband just knew, but he doesn't.

2) Wear your baby, it'll leave your hands free.

Hugs to you!

dkelm Rookie

That would upset me too. No Mama should have to do it all.

I hane two suggestions for you:

1) Tell your husband exactly what you need. It would be nice but most of them don't read minds. There are so many things I *wish* my husband just knew, but he doesn't.

2) Wear your baby, it'll leave your hands free.

Hugs to you!

I used to wear him ALL the time. I even made my own sling, which I LOVE. I haven't really thought about bringing it back out since he can't be in the cradle/tummy type hold in it anymore. Hmmm, I wonder if I can figure out how to hip hold him in it.

Thanks for the idea!

weluvgators Explorer

Big Hugs, Mama! I understand some of your frustrations. I have a 2 1/2, 5, and 6 1/2 year old. And they aren't the *only* messy ones in the house either! :rolleyes:

I second the suggestion for trying to babywear some more. It can be tricky with a pukey, spitty baby, but there are strategies for that too. We use prefolds for mopping up those messes, but I like to keep a pile handy for trying to catch it before landing if possible. We have a few different types of waterproof/water resistant pads that we use to protect stuff. When you are outside, I would aim for grass if at all possible, as that should be a bit less cleanup. These ideas should work for diarrhea too. How old is your baby? We used little potties for our kids from the beginning, and we have been thrilled with their use so many times. The two part seats with removable bowls work great for vomiting spells. We have also had to use two little potties at the same time when one of our children was super sick with it coming out both ends. She would sit on one while puking in the other. Have you tried offering the potty to him? I would be happy to elaborate if that interests you. I think getting some stuff in a potty helps a lot with the cleanup side of things.

For babywearing, you may want to look at two shoulder carriers for comfort, like an ergo or mei tai. I can give more specifics on that too if you want.

Good luck!

ravenwoodglass Mentor

You poor thing. I agree with the previous poster that you need to engage Dad in some chores that need to be done and also perhaps an occasional walk around outside or just have him go into the yard with the kids so you can destress or take a nap. Do you have a high school close by? Sometimes you can connect with older teens who could come and help out a bit after school for a nominal amount.

Clingy kids are tough and the idea to wear him for a bit longer is a good one. I wore my son for the first 2.5 years of his life. Hopefully your little guy will be less clingy when he is feeling better.

dilettantesteph Collaborator

At least he isn't nagging you about how messy the house is and how you should clean it up more. That was our house.

tarnalberry Community Regular

I used to wear him ALL the time. I even made my own sling, which I LOVE. I haven't really thought about bringing it back out since he can't be in the cradle/tummy type hold in it anymore. Hmmm, I wonder if I can figure out how to hip hold him in it.

Thanks for the idea!

You might try getting a different kind of carrier. I have a Pikkolo (expensive, but very easy to use), which is a soft sided carrier (like a Baby Bjorn, but with a hip belt so it's not so hard on the back) and a Baby K'tan (still not cheap, but also easy to use), which is like a Moby, but so much easier to use. My daughter rides in both of these forward facing all the time (and has since she was 2 months, since she's got great head control and doesn't like cradle or facing inwards - which is why I didn't go with an Ergo).

BTW, if your husband doesn't know what to do, how is it bossing him around to make a suggestion or a request? "Can you empty the dishwasher?" or "Can you run that load of clothes?" isn't bossy, and sometimes, other people aren't going to see the messes that annoying you - including your husband. You guys should probably sit down and talk about the division of labor. Even if you're not assigning chores to different people, you can better communicate about how you both want the work to get done.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



mmcdaniels Apprentice

I would ask my husband if he wanted to hold the baby or clean up the puke. I frequently point out that there are two things that need done immediately by giving him his choice of jobs. My husband is usually helpful when I ask but frequently too clueless to offer without being asked.

kareng Grand Master

This is what my Hub says about these type of situations. Guys like to fix a problem not talk about it. Guys are sometimes afraid to do something that has been your "job". If he gets told he's not doing it right too many times he won't try anymore. Most guys don't mind helping but need to know that you need help. So ask!

brendab Contributor

(((HUGS))) Mama, I understand the feeling of somebody touching me 24/7 and needing just some time by myself! I don't have any advice for you but just wanted to say I feel for you!

tarnalberry Community Regular

I would ask my husband if he wanted to hold the baby or clean up the puke. I frequently point out that there are two things that need done immediately by giving him his choice of jobs. My husband is usually helpful when I ask but frequently too clueless to offer without being asked.

I do this one all the time. "Do you want the baby, or to clean up the dishes?" "Do you want to watch the baby, or make dinner?" Etc. :) It's not even a ploy to get him to do something - I ask that for most times when he's at home and there are two things that need to be done. Maybe he'd rather watch the baby, maybe he'd rather do the work - if I'm good for doing either, why not ask him? (If I'm not, I will totally say "please watch the baby while I...")

mommida Enthusiast

cyber ((HUGS)) for you!

Get those older kids to help! It will probably make them happy to go back to school! Make them do simple things.

Vacuum

dust (odd socks on the hands)

take the laundry to the proper room (put away their own laundry)

sweep maybe mop depending

load or unload the dishwasher

wipe down the kitchen counters

You can keep the time down to a 10 minute tidy. Pre-school's teach the kids to clean-up some of their own mess. You should not being doing all of the cleaning by yourself. You will have to be able to accept a learning curve for the kid's standard of clean compared to your standard. Cleaning the house is a life skill that the kids need to learn.

Mommy needs a time out too. Tell your husband you need a date! Like the other's have said offer the husband a choice of the urgent chores.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      130,621
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Carrie C
    Newest Member
    Carrie C
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.3k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • AnneBSunflower
      I don't have access to the report and don't know which antibodies were found. I can email my doctor and ask her for it. GI Map: It is a fecal, microbial assay. It was done through https://www.diagnosticsolutionslab.com/tests/gi-map I don't consume oats-- because I don't like them.  I am trying to figure out if my Armour Thyroid has gluten in it. It is looking like a likely culprit. Tom's of Maine says that all of their toothpaste is gluten free. I share a kitchen with my son who eats gluten. Mostly, this translates to him eating his own bread. He eats my gluten free pasta and other items when we have a shared meal.
    • Rejoicephd
      Thanks @cristiana I really appreciate hearing all of this... I definitely need to look out better for the shared dishes/pans/ovens thing.  I'm currently not doing a good job of that at all.  But I think I need to make the airfryer a gluten-free only airfryer.  I've been keeping a food diary for these past few days and so far its been interesting.  I think I have 2 issues going on: I get a head/neck/shoulder/jaw ache when I get glutened (as well as feeling fatigued and brain fog).  At least this is what I think are my symptoms from consuming gluten.  I think that the only things I consumed were marked gluten-free, but they were a combination of "certified gluten-free" and "gluten-free", so I think I am definitely worried thinking that the "gluten-free" non-certifieds are not good enough for me.  Also, I feel like the issue of cross-contamination of dishes could be an issue for me too.  But there's also a second issue I'm trying to figure out.  I ate 2 dishes containing chicken this week from gluten-free companies (frozen dish, fully contained and sealed) - one of which had the "certified gluten free" logo on it.  And right after eating, I had bowel movements that I think would be classified as steatorrhea.  I have this type of bowel movement multiple times a week lately, which has become quite miserable. But from my food diary, I can tell that when I don't eat meat or eat fish, I am not experiencing this issue. From my reading, I can see that steatorrhea can result from malabsorption in the gut due to celiac, and I know that I do have issues with malabsorption because I have iron-deficiency anemia (my ferritin was 10 when last tested). I also had low potassium and low Vitamin D when first diagnosed with celiac, but both have come back into the normal range since I started going gluten-free and taking supplements.   Based on what you all are saying, I am now thinking that my iron-deficiency anemia, my steatorrhea, and my head/neck aches may all still be persisting because I'm still consuming this lingering amount of gluten regularly.  I've really got to do a lot to switch over to ONLY eating certified gluten-free products and also creating a clean space within my kitchen that is just for me to use, and probably just skip restaurants completely for a while... Also maybe in the mean time, I might just keep my foods simple.. no dairy or meats (just fish) which my stomach seems happier with. Do you all think this is something I should go into my GI doctor about?  Because when I saw her last, I wasn't having steatorrhea.  My GI symptoms were actually kind of mild, which I thought was sort of strange since I had just got diagnosed with celiac disease.  I was dealing with mostly headaches, etc and so I've been mostly working with a neurologist and physical therapist on these symptoms.. but there's only so much they can do when I trigger a brand new headache/stiff neck every week and I'm starting to think that celiac is at the root of all of this...  Thanks for all your support and insights
    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, @AnneBSunflower! Can you be more specific about the gluten antibodies? Which ones were found? Do you have access to the report and can you post the results? What is a "GI map"? How was this done? Is this a fecal matter test? Are you still consuming oats? Even "Gluten-free" oats? Have you checked all meds and supplements for possible gluten fillers or casings? Oral hygiene products? Are you sharing cooking facilities with wheat eaters?
    • AnneBSunflower
      Hi. I am looking for mystery gluten in my diet due to having a GI map done recently and the results found gluten antibodies. However, let me provide a bit of background. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's 15 years ago. Ten years ago I consulted with a functional medicine doctor who put me on the AIP diet due to gastrointestinal distress. She did not diagnose me with celiac disease, but my thyroid antibodies skyrocketed when we reintroduced gluten after 6 months on the AIP diet. I have been maintaining a gluten free diet for 10 years. I have on again, off again gut issues, cannot lose weight, chronic vitamin deficiencies despite a diet focused on whole foods, and my thyroid numbers are whacky even with medication (my T3 is good, T4 chronically low, TSH low). My doctor diagnosed me this week as having celiac in addition to the Hashimoto's. Again, I have been eating gluten free for 10 years. My doctor says there is something I am eating that my body is reacting to that has gluten and I have inflammation in my gut. I don't buy anything that is processed without reading the label and it stating it is gluten free. I know things like soy sauce, salad dressing, potato chips (I haven't eaten a potato chip in probably 30 years), roasted nuts, lunch meat, etc. can have gluten. What else? Does Armour Thyroid have gluten? Kirkland Almond non-dairy beverage (doesn't say gluten free, but there are no ingredients that would indicate gluten)? Philadelphia Cream cheese plant-based cream cheese says it is gluten free but it contains maltodextrin, could this still be a source of gluten? If the plant-based cream cheese with maltodextrin could be a source of gluten, could anything labeled gluten free but containing maltodextrin still be a source of gluten?
    • cristiana
      I struggled for a long time.   My TTG levels took an age to come down.  I even gave pure gluten free oats a miss, it took 8 years before I could tolerate them.  Removing dairy temporarily from my diet was hugely helpful.  Check your utensils and the oven you use are scrupulously clean, and don't open roast or bake food uncovered in an oven shared with gluten eaters.  Shared grills must be thoroughly cleaned down, too. Our oven packed up a couple of years after I was diagnosed and after that time the top oven became my family's oven, I use the lower oven.  Also our dishwasher - the old one left a residue, and sharing with gluten eaters I think this was an important factor in my slow recovery.  When the dishwasher packed up I started hand washing the plates and making sure they were really rinsed well.  When we got a new one we bought a Miele does the initial rinse with clean water, not yesterday's old water.   I stopped eating out for a while - that's a biggie.  In recent years, in the UK, thanks to Zoe's Law, caterers are having to really tighten up on catering for people with coeliac disease and allergies so I am now finding eating out much less risky.  But I'd advise being very careful with restaurants where flour is thrown about and is airborne (such as pizzerias) or where harried chefs might cook pasta in glutenous water by mistake, as those are the places I've been glutened in the most.
×
×
  • Create New...