More Cross-Contamination Advice

[HonoluluVic]

Hi, fellow travelers,

I have finally been on an upward health swing since being diagnosed in August and also finding I'm allergic to soy, peanuts, all dairy, eggs, pineapple, asparagus, besides of course all things gluten. I recently discovered that high fructose corn syrup will also set off bad reactions.

When I was diagnosed, since I'm the only cook in the house, I turned the kitchen into an almost gluten free environment. As long as I was cooking, there was no gluten; however my BF and his daughter continued to cook gluten pastas, and we shared toasters, microwaves, pans, mixing bowls, et cetera. Things have taken a nightmarish turn this week, and I finally realized why. My BF does a lot of cooking for the holidays, giving away sweet breads to all of this family and friends. He's not the cleanest in the kitchen, and the entire place has been contaminated daily with gluten flour particles in the air, on the floor, on the counters, the mixing bowls, et cetera. When I finally figured out why I have been so deathly ill this week and talked to him about it, he immediately nay-sayed it and said that it was ridiculous to think that his baking has had anything to do with my sickness. Since this is a week that I have only eaten things that I have made from scratch with organic foods, I know that I haven't ingested any other potential allergens.

What does one do when loved ones won't get on board? This is his house and he flatly refuses to consider making a gluten-free area or not using my kitchen ware. (I'm a good cook and I have a lot of special and high quality cookware, et cetera, and he and his daughter prefer to use them over the inferior stuff they owned prior to me.) Nothing I say makes a difference, even though they see clearly that I'm very sick, have lost five pounds this week, they aren't willing to make any changes in the way the kitchen is used. Does anyone have any articles I can show them? Moving out is the next step, but I'd like to try to save this relationship if possible!

Thanks, everyone, and Mele Kalikimaka!

[Roda]

If you can't come to some sort of compromise, do you have a place of your own you can move back to in an attempt to get your health back and still try to salvage the relationship? Also I noticed you mentioned you were sharing a toaster. It is an absolute must you have your own toaster. If you use the old one you are contaminiting your gluten free bread. You also need a new strainer just for gluten-free pasta and may need to replace any scratched cookwear that could harbor gluten. Getting your own cutting boards is recomended too. Yes you can get sick from him doing alot of baking. You could be inhaling the flour particles in the air or once it settles on the counter you could get cc'd that way too. If he isn't all that careful I would be worried about him ccing the other ingredients like the sugar and other baking ingredients. I wouldn't use them.

[Skylark]

Sadly, most of the articles I know of don't talk about sensitivity to cross-contamination. Moving out doesn't mean giving up the relationship, although I have to wonder about a relationship where your BF essentially says "this is my house and I'm going to gluten up the kitchen if I want". You can't continue in a relationship where your partner does not care about your health. I don't know what you call it, but it sure isn't my idea of love. I was in a devastatingly bad marriage and one of the many signs was my ex-husband's refusal to find new homes for his cats when doctors told us both that they were causing my asthma.

[tarnalberry]

  On 12/24/2010 at 11:46 PM, Skylark said:

You can't continue in a relationship where your partner does not care about your health.

This.

Clearly I don't mean "dump him now", but rather, if you can't get him to care about your health, well... does he care about you?

Will he go with you to the doctor? Will he talk to a counselor about the issue? Will he discuss it at all?

[cyberprof]

HonoluluVic, sorry you're having problems even after you figured out this stuff.

I share a kitchen with my gluten-eating daughter when she's home from college. I keep separate utensiles as much as possible. Get your own:

Non-stick skillet (or use regular steel instead of non-stick)

Spatulas and pancake flippers

Toaster

Hide these or keep them in a non-accessible spot when you're not using them. Get them in a different color. For example, in my kitchen anything red is gluten-free.

Use non-absorbing versions of:

Colander - steel

pasta lifter - steel

strainer - steel

measuring cup - glass (instead of plastic)

measuring cup/spoons - steel (instead of plastic)

Mixing bowl - glass or steel (instead of plastic)

Pots and pans - steel

Use glass/pyrex food storage boxes instead of tupperware.

For cutting board, keep your own or use parchment paper on gluteny plastic/wood boards. Don't share wooden spoons, bowls, boards.

For the above non-absorbing things, a good dishwasher and/or hand washing (very carefully) should make you be able to share these.

I can't help you any with the flour in the air. I told my hubby that if he wanted to use flour to make a from-scratch pie, he had to do it in another house but if he wanted to use pre-made roll-out crusts, he could do that at home. (Pre-celiac, we made amazing pie crusts together...he made the crust and rolled it out and I made it look pretty and did the filling and baking. This was a big loss for him. He's not over it and makes a big deal about it each T-day.) He doesn't eat other gluten anymore, other than holidays.

If your BF is only doing this once a year, you may be able to save the relationship by minimizing the amount of time that you spend at home and/or going to a friend's house for the duration.

But it's a bad sign if he sees you sick and doesn't care. Sorry.

[cyberprof]

Oh, and I never put anything in the microwave uncovered. I use a lid, a cover, plastic wrap or something - every single time.

[cap6]

ok - I'm dumb. I clean the micro plate but don't cover stuff. Why should I?

[HonoluluVic]

Thank you all so much! "Our" kitchen is too small to have a dedicated gluten-free area, even a cabinet, but I am buying a big crate and putting all of my things in it and simply removing it from the kitchen. Now they think I'm selfish, and I can't seem to make them understand that there is a correlation between me being sick and their using my stuff to make gluten-filled goodies. One further question, is there any way to clean my good wooden cutting board? My BF was using it to cut his just-out-of-the-oven bread and I'm wondering if I should just let it go and buy a new one?

Thanks for the practical advice as well as the relationship advice. It has been really heartbreaking to have my BF tell me I'm just paranoid or I'm "taking things too far" when I talk about cross-contamination. And no, he wouldn't go to my doctor, he thinks she's going "over-board". Which is, I guess, my next step, pulling anchor and moving to a place where I can be well!

[Roda]

IMHO hun, I would cut my losses with the cutting board and get a new one.

[kareng]

  On 12/26/2010 at 7:17 PM, HonoluluVic said:

Thank you all so much! "Our" kitchen is too small to have a dedicated gluten-free area, even a cabinet, but I am buying a big crate and putting all of my things in it and simply removing it from the kitchen. Now they think I'm selfish, and I can't seem to make them understand that there is a correlation between me being sick and their using my stuff to make gluten-filled goodies. One further question, is there any way to clean my good wooden cutting board? My BF was using it to cut his just-out-of-the-oven bread and I'm wondering if I should just let it go and buy a new one?

Thanks for the practical advice as well as the relationship advice. It has been really heartbreaking to have my BF tell me I'm just paranoid or I'm "taking things too far" when I talk about cross-contamination. And no, he wouldn't go to my doctor, he thinks she's going "over-board". Which is, I guess, my next step, pulling anchor and moving to a place where I can be well!

Bummer about the BF. They have these really thin plastic cutting boards that don't take up much space. And if the gluten eaters get ahold of it, they don't cost much.. I got some 2 for $1 at the Dollar Store. I also use them to put on the counter when fixing food. Might want to get a "camp box" that you can lock.