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A Big Surprise Of My Life!

Simona19

By Simona19
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Simona19 Collaborator
Simona19
Posted

Hi!

On Saturday I attendet my Girlfriend's Bitrhday party. She knows me and my medical history for about 5 years. She was so kind and made gluten and casein free dinner for me. I was very thankful for that, but the remark what she told at the end was the biggest surprise of my life. She said: " You need to change your job because all your problems with allergies and intolerances are in your head. Change your job and you will feel better." Other friend agreed to that. I was stunned. What? I made my food intolerances and allergies in my head? How? I explain to them that I'm not depresed and I'm not making nothig in my head. My body is reacting to something - nuts, flour, milk casein, kiwi, fructose and more.

And the worst part from this is that my friend was a nurse in my country for many years and here, in the USA, she is a nurse assistent, or caregiver. She was in school for that. I can't get over that.

I just wanted to share this with somebody who understand.

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CMCM Rising Star
CMCM
Posted

It's really quite amazing how many people (who have no "issues" or at least who think they don't) are totally insensitive and uncomprehending and unempathetic about it. Forty years ago when my mom was so sick and as yet undiagnosed (because so few doctors knew anything about celiac disease), she had a whole string of doctors who told her it was in her head. As for other people in her life, they were of course totally ignorant about celiac disease and its effects, so they often seemed to think my mom was overacting about it all...."Can't you eat just a little bit of gluten?" She should have invited such people into the bathroom with her as she threw up for hours and of course the D that went with it all.

I think you just have to accept and understand that this is how people often are, and how they often don't take this seriously. Nothing you can do about all this, either, but learn to not let it bother you!

gary'sgirl Explorer
gary'sgirl
Posted

Hi!

On Saturday I attendet my Girlfriend's Bitrhday party. She knows me and my medical history for about 5 years. She was so kind and made gluten and casein free dinner for me. I was very thankful for that, but the remark what she told at the end was the biggest surprise of my life. She said: " You need to change your job because all your problems with allergies and intolerances are in your head. Change your job and you will feel better." Other friend agreed to that. I was stunned. What? I made my food intolerances and allergies in my head? How? I explain to them that I'm not depresed and I'm not making nothig in my head. My body is reacting to something - nuts, flour, milk casein, kiwi, fructose and more.

And the worst part from this is that my friend was a nurs in my country for many years and here, in the USA, she is nurs assistent, or caregiver. She was in school for that. I can't get over that.

I just wanted to share this with somebody who understand.

I'm so sorry that your friends responded in this way. I don't know what people are thinking when they say such ignorant things such as what your friend said to you. I come across responses like this too - I'm sure I would more, but I am pretty much secluded from people right now, but they still say really discouraging things.

Try to remember that they have no idea what it's like to have a problem like this and even if they do some times people just can't look past what they are going through.

I wish all of us could have a close friend that live near us who was going through the same thing and could understand and just be an encouragement.

I hope you have some encouragement soon!

~Sarah

lynnelise Apprentice
lynnelise
Posted

I think one reason that people like to think that stuff like this only exists in our mind because to admit that it's real would be admitting it could happen to them. My friends and family act like their whole world would be over without gluten. It's really ridiculous to give food that much power over your life but they do it. Just ignore them. You know the truth. Give them graphic details about what happens when you eat gluten if that is what it takes. Also point out that if your job was the cause of your issues then removing a food from your diet wouldn't make any difference at all assuming you still work the same job!

Dixiebell Contributor
Dixiebell
Posted

I think one reason that people like to think that stuff like this only exists in our mind because to admit that it's real would be admitting it could happen to them.

Well said lynnelise.

This is so true.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I'll tell you another reason people think food problems are all in our heads. When my High School senior was in grade school, peanut allergies were all the rage. I know they are real and immediately life threatening. We had so many kids with supposed peanut allergies eating M& Ms and fries cooked in peanut oil. Kids with allergies to things they didn't like like broccoli. It was nuts! It got to the point that if you offered some of these kids something they didn't want, instead of " No, thank you.". You got " I'm allergic!"

I felt bad for the kid with the real peanut allergy.

Oh yeah! Most of the active boys had ADHD. I said mine just needs a bit of exercise each day.

Katie B Apprentice
Katie B
Posted

This would be in my "time to get new friends" category - but you would know more about the context. Oftentimes you can't force people to understand things even if there are a million sources on the internet (and your friend is a nurse?!).

Fine to still talk to them but it might be nice to make some more connections with people who you don't have to convince.

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Simona19 Collaborator
Simona19
Posted
  • Author

Thank you for the kind words of comfort. It helps to know that I'm not alone. I think it was a long time ago that my friend - nurse gradueted from her nursing school. I wasn't even able to say something. All guests agreed with her. I just looked at my mom and shook my head with disbelieve. I can't get over, still. I'm lucky that my mom is on my side. She was the one who forced me to go gluten free.

Thank you again for all your replies. I hope that ones there will be time when people and specialy doctors would know and understand the celiac disease. B)B)B)

mamaw Community Regular
mamaw
Posted

Why didn't she tell you how she really feels! People are so clueless, even in the medical profession.. Sorry you had to experience that ---- I would ditch the friend & find one that truly understands & cares for you as you are...gluten free & all !!!! The good news is you are not married to her......

sandsurfgirl Collaborator
sandsurfgirl
Posted

I would LOVE it if celiac were in my head. Too bad I have BLOOD TESTS to prove otherwise. EYEROLL. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm sure you would have loved to slap them... in your head of course.

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