I Don't Want My Husband To Go gluten-free But Will I Still Be Safe?

[HS7474]

I was diagnosed with Celiac a few months after my husband and I started dating. He has tried being gluten free twice. The first time were not living together and simply caved into temptation. The second time he tried was just recently. We live together now and it is just the two of us in the house. The problem is, when he went gluten-free, his mood changed drastically. He became quite irritable and grumpy. As soon as he started eating gluten foods, he went right back to normal. I don't know if it was just a mental rebellion against not being able to eat the foods he wanted to or if he did have a chemical response to the lack of gluten. I do know that he does want to go gluten-free for my sake but, in honesty, really doesn't want to and has a ton of trouble with it when he tries; the self control and avoiding temptations.

I guess what I'm wondering is, do you think my husband should go gluten-free just for my sake or is it possible to live safely in a non-gluten-free home?

Thank you for all of your opinions

[Jestgar]

Can't he be gluten-free at home? Just to keep the cc to minimum. Let him eat anything he wants when he's not in the house, but keep your kitchen gluten-free.

[shadowicewolf]

It shouldn't be too hard. Designate an area just for him and tell him he can't go outside that area of food prep. Make him store his gluteny foods elsewhere, having seperate pans and such...

[AzizaRivers]

I second the above suggestion. If that doesn't work...

It IS possible, it's just that you have to be extremely careful, and your husband and whoever else lives in your house, or brings food into it, has to be extremely and wonderfully dedicated to making sure not a single crumb of gluten can possibly get into your food. I'm sure you're familiar with the the usual CC spiel about cutting boards, pots and pans, pasta strainer, etc. And even then, chances are good that at some point or another you will get CC somehow.

People will anaphylactic nut allergies almost never allow nuts to come into their homes, and prohibit the presence of peanut butter and anything else related. That's because they really don't want to risk something bad getting into their systems. This is a little like that. You may not be at risk of death if you get contaminated, like anaphylactic allergic individuals, but if you want to be truly safe in your home, you need to eliminate the source of the problem completely. It's all about what you're willing to risk.

That said, I live gluten-free in a gluten-eating home. The other people in my house are all very careful and vigilant and some of them I would even trust to cook for me, and do on a regular basis. The few times I have gotten sick since I went gluten free 6 months ago, I highly suspect they were not from my home but from food I had eaten while in my college dining hall based on what I recall eating on those days.

[Edo]

I live with my fiance; I am gluten-free, but he does not have to be. The way we keep things safe for me is that no gluten is allowed to come near any place where my food can be. It's usually easier for him to just remain gluten-free in the house, and he's very easy-going about it. But sometimes he buys gluteny treats or bread or whatever, and just keeps them in their own little spot, uses disposable plates, etc, and keeps them away from my food and prep/eating areas. Sometimes he prefers just to eat outside if he has something messy. He's very educated about celiac and cross-contamination, so I trust him not to gluten me. Outside the house, he eats whatever he wants. I've had no issues. He just has to make sure to brush his teeth before he kisses me!

[ravenwoodglass]

Just as an additional note, some of us will go through withdrawl when we stop eating gluten. It is possible that was the cause of his moodiness. If that is the case then he may also need to be gluten free himself.

[rdunbar]

gluteomorphins are highly addictive.

[Juliebove]

Our house is not gluten-free but we don't keep a lot of gluten in it either. I do eat bread on occasion and cereal. But I am careful to avoid cross contamination. Because I have other allergies, it is hard for me to buy prepared foods I can eat. But for my husband I tend to buy him things like sandwiches and cookies. He eats them on paper plates. We have a gluten toaster and a gluten-free one. I do not bake with gluten.

[Takala]

My husband eats gluten free at home, he did this voluntarily. He eats lunches out at work that are not, and sometimes at a restaurant he will order regular food, but he tends to order off the gluten free menu if they have it.

However, if he and I are eating the same meals at home, I have to be careful to carb- load him if we are going to be doing some physical activity and going somewhere. We were hiking several years ago on a cold, rainy day on a group hike and he got chilled from getting wet, and hungry and lethargic, which was not good as we were not near the parking area and had quite a ways to go on the return loop. Fortunately the group guide had some regular high calorie energy bars to give to him because my snacks just were not cutting it. (I had some nuts and a hard boiled egg.... aye yi yi. Gave him this and his body just could not go Oh, Goody, a fat and protein fuel infusion. ) NOW I make sure I have packed some sort of grain product such as a rice cake, corn tortilla, homemade gluten-free bread, or crackers, etc in the food carry bag, and I pay more attention to what he's eating and always remind him to have something in his backpack because I don't want to have that happen again. And you have to be careful with things like raisins, they will spike you up with sugar, but the crash can be hard.

I've seen him go for days gluten free and as long as he keeps himself fed he's fine. I've seen him eat gluten at a restaurant and he's fine. He doesn't seem to be effected either way. But he does not have my metabolism, that's for sure. He eats gluten free cereal and milk for breakfast, for example, I can't do that. But everything else at home, we just converted over to using gluten free ingredients. It actually was not that much of a switch. Food is food. If it's a grain item, either I made it myself or it came from a gluten free bakery or manufacturer.

If you have gluten in your home, you are going to have to be careful to make sure you're not getting cross contaminated with it. I don't think I should be telling your husband what to do, that is more up to him and you and how you live together, and how much work you both want to do, because gluten free is a lot of work but gluten co -existing without spreading it all over is also a lot of work.

[Poppi]

I have a family of 7 and I am the only gluten free one (although my oldest son is getting tested this summer and I fully expect him to test positive). The vast majority of the food in this house is gluten free and we are lucky enough to have 2 kitchens so it is somewhat like keeping a kosher house. We have a gluten kitchen and a gluten free kitchen, gluten pots and gluten free pots etc... I realize this is not practical for most people but on a smaller scale it can still work.

Of course everything I cook is gluten free and the other family members are free to eat gluten food outside the home or even inside as long as it's cooked in the gluten kitchen and not eaten at my table without some serious cleanup afterwards.

[domesticactivist]

I was one of those people like your husband. I decided to go gluten-free purely for my son, because I didn't want to have stuff in the house he couldn't have. Out of the whole family, I had the worst time going gluten-free than anybody!

Here is just a small list of what my suffering entailed:

- constant HUNGER

- constant craving of sweets

- major constipation

- Depression

- Worst Migraine Aura of my life

- Repeated Herpes outbreaks

- SUPER cranky

- very bad attitude

- crying for no reason

- itchy rashes for the first time ever

I'm probably forgetting stuff. It's a good thing I'm so stubborn, because it just didn't make sense to me that doing nothing but taking out gluten (which I *knew* was not an essential nutrient, lol) could be affecting me so badly if it wasn't bad for me and some sort of addiction withdrawal thing!

Anyway, we ended up learning all about GAPS (Gut and Psychology Syndrome) and it made a lot of sense. I think my problems at first were three-fold:

1. Eating "gluten-free" stuff involving alternate flours and much processing

2. Becoming more sensitive to gluten contamination, before we'd really learned to avoid it

3. Sugar addiction

Once we started the GAPS diet, I got much better. I'm still not 100% - I now stutter when I get upset/overwhelmed which is actually a weird new thing. But here are the things that are better than ever before (when I "didn't have a problem with any foods"):

- No more dandruff

- No more chronic terrible breath

- No more chronic terrible BO

- No more bouts of diarrhea when nervous/anxious

- No more migraine auras or migraines (used to have them regularly)

- No more Herpes outbreaks (didn't have them often before, but they've decreased even still)

- Feel full and don't have to eat as often

- Stopped getting up to pee all night long

I can't say whether my mood stuff is better, it's always come and gone, but I am far less anxious.

Anyway, I just wanted to put it out there that even for non-celiacs, dietary changes can be a good thing, and it doesn't always look that way at first.

If he is careful and respectful and supportive, I don't see why he has to go 100% gluten-free to keep you safe. But it is more convenient for shared meals, for sure!

[navigator]

My husband is gluten free at home to avoid cross contamination but eats gluten when he's not in the home. It works for us.

[GlutenFreeManna]

Ditto what several others said. My kitchen is gluten-free, but my husband is not. He has tried to go completely gluten-free before (of his own choosing) and he always gives in to temptation. So he just eats gluten when out of the house. When we go to friends houses or restaurants (although rare) or if he is at work or traveling for work, he eats whatever he wants. The only rules are he must brush his teeth before kissing me, wash his hands after eating and not touch my food. I will sometimes offer to share food or offer him a bite of something I order that is gluten-free. He has learned however to let me put it on his plate for him and not to reach over and grab some of my fries when he has been eating a burger with a bun. There are actually a few places we eat out where he will get the same thing as me so it happenes to be gluten-free. He loves getting a protein-style lettuce wrapped burger at Red Robin. However, I have not gotten him to willingly order gluten-free pizza. He will eat my homemade gluten-free pizza crusts (and he says they are good!) but if we are getting pizza from a restaurant I am getting the gluten-free/CF and he is getting a regular one. So pizza for two is much, much too expensive to do very often.

[lovesaceliac]

We keep a gluten free house for my husband, but the kids and I do eat gluten when we're out of the house. We just couldn't manage the cross contamination issues at home (a 1 yr old and 3 yr old were not helpful in that department.) It took six months for me to convince my husband that we had to go gluten free at home, but I know it was the right choice. I didn't want him to be living in a house where he had to ask, "can I eat this?" It's not fair to him. Now Ritz crackers are like candy for my kids when we visit friends houses!

[luvs2eat]

I've been gluten-free for 10 years and my husband is not. I have my own toaster and cast iron frying pans and some dedicated baking pans. We've not had any problems at all.

[John (BBJ)]

Ditto what several others said. My kitchen is gluten-free, but my husband is not. He has tried to go completely gluten-free before (of his own choosing) and he always gives in to temptation. So he just eats gluten when out of the house. When we go to friends houses or restaurants (although rare) or if he is at work or traveling for work, he eats whatever he wants. The only rules are he must brush his teeth before kissing me, wash his hands after eating and not touch my food. I will sometimes offer to share food or offer him a bite of something I order that is gluten-free. He has learned however to let me put it on his plate for him and not to reach over and grab some of my fries when he has been eating a burger with a bun. There are actually a few places we eat out where he will get the same thing as me so it happenes to be gluten-free. He loves getting a protein-style lettuce wrapped burger at Red Robin. However, I have not gotten him to willingly order gluten-free pizza. He will eat my homemade gluten-free pizza crusts (and he says they are good!) but if we are getting pizza from a restaurant I am getting the gluten-free/CF and he is getting a regular one. So pizza for two is much, much too expensive to do very often.

I have tried a gluten-free pizza. It is a decent alternative to nothing. They are not cheap and a $10 10 inch pizza just isn't enough for me. I ordered a gluten-free pizza at a restaurant after a lengthy discussion w/ manager about why my pizza was gonna be an additional $5 for the same type of pizza vs. a specialty gluten pizza. I understand that the crust can be more costly but if I had ordered it as a build my own, it would have been $1.50 difference. Sorry about ramble, but the point was I still received CC and 20 minutes after eating it, I had major problems. It's tempting to almost eat the real stuff and deal w/ consequences anyway.

[sa1937]

I have tried a gluten-free pizza. It is a decent alternative to nothing. They are not cheap and a $10 10 inch pizza just isn't enough for me. I ordered a gluten-free pizza at a restaurant after a lengthy discussion w/ manager about why my pizza was gonna be an additional $5 for the same type of pizza vs. a specialty gluten pizza. I understand that the crust can be more costly but if I had ordered it as a build my own, it would have been $1.50 difference. Sorry about ramble, but the point was I still received CC and 20 minutes after eating it, I had major problems. It's tempting to almost eat the real stuff and deal w/ consequences anyway.

Sorry to hear that in spite of your best efforts you had problems with CC. My son-in-law has also eaten gluten-free pizza because my daughter has celiac. Fortunately they live in Denver, which is a celiac's haven and they have a lot of options. I don't in small town, USA.

He used to be the pizza king and made some awesome gluteny pizza! Can't now. Have you ever tried making your own?

[beebs]

The house became gluten free when I and two of my children went gluten free. My husband and other child just had to suck it up - so to speak. Why can't he just enjoy gluten when away from the house? There is just too much risk for cross contamination for my liking...

[seigfriedj]

It is possible to stay safe in your home with your husband eating gluten. Our house is about 80% gluten free. With the exception of my husbands bread and some tv dinners in the fridge, our house is pretty much gluten free. All meals I cook our gluten free, but when we dine out he eats what he wants. I do buy him some occasional gluten free snacks, but we find that most gluten free baked goods I make, we both like and enjoy. My suggestion would be to have your husband eat what he wants when he is not with you, and then find out meals you both love and enjoy, including snacks that you both can eat while at home. This way he can be mainly gluten free with you but without feeling like he is giving up on foods he love. I know my husband never feels like he is giving up stuff, but that is probably due to the fact that I generally bake at least 1-2x a week and cook yummy home cooked meals every night. Have him slowly go gluten free but have him still enjoy his favorite items, just be careful with crumbs and make sure he understands all about CC. No using the same toaster for his bread and your bread.

[Junebug51]

I've been diagnosed celiac and gluten-free for about 5 months. My husband is careful, and I kept his bread and crackers and some canned foods for him. He doesn't use the cutting board and the butter dish is marked "gluten-free" at one end -- I have my butter knife and he has his! We used the same toaster -- I don't know if any of this hurts me, as I seem not to show symptoms as much. He likes a lot of the gluten-free foods and we love vegetables and plain meats and fruits, so we are getting along well, so far!

[violentlyserene]

I was diagnosed with Celiac a few months after my husband and I started dating. He has tried being gluten free twice. The first time were not living together and simply caved into temptation. The second time he tried was just recently. We live together now and it is just the two of us in the house. The problem is, when he went gluten-free, his mood changed drastically. He became quite irritable and grumpy. As soon as he started eating gluten foods, he went right back to normal. I don't know if it was just a mental rebellion against not being able to eat the foods he wanted to or if he did have a chemical response to the lack of gluten. I do know that he does want to go gluten-free for my sake but, in honesty, really doesn't want to and has a ton of trouble with it when he tries; the self control and avoiding temptations.

I guess what I'm wondering is, do you think my husband should go gluten-free just for my sake or is it possible to live safely in a non-gluten-free home?

Thank you for all of your opinions

I'd rather deal with a mixed kitchen than an unhappy husband. It's a bit of a pain sure, but I don't mind. He's careful to stick to our protocols so I can eat safely and that's all I need. Fortunately, a mixed kitchen works for us so we don't need to go more extreme.

The exact set up depends on your home and your situation but in general a storage area for gluten is important. We don't have a dishwasher so we have two sets of visually different silverware, plates, pots, utensils, colanders, etc. The only thing we share are pans which I put foil or parchment on and glass pans because we only have two of them. There are three sets of sponges, all different colors, for gluten, gluten-free and intermediate washing for the sink and shared items. The sink gets carefully scrubbed before washing the dishes and dirty dishes each have their own separate area so nothing is confused. I can tell what's gluten or gluten-free but my husband forgets so it's helpful there.

The only gluten that comes in this house is stuff that is premade and not easily replaced- pizza, pizza rolls, his weird little debbie snacks, etc. All baking stuff was tossed when I went and all of that is gluten-free now. All of that is kept in the freezer or in his own cupboard with the gluten dishes. Our counters can never be properly clean and I wouldn't trust it anyway so i have a bunch of those clear plastic cutting boards cut in quarters and some whole so there's a bunch available to grab if i need prep room. I also have vinyl shelf liner from Ikea covering one counter by the stove where my dedicated gluten-free section is. It's easily cleaned, obviously different than the rest of the counters and can be thrown away if it's too contaminated to clean.

I also try to keep masking tape and a sharpie on the counter to mark everything as gluten or gluten-free. We have separate peanut butter jars since he uses it for lunch with wheat bread but the rest of the condiment squeeze bottles or things that aren't used on gluten.

It does take a bit to get used to the separateness of this but it's really pretty easy to keep up. The worst thing is by far the lack of a dishwasher.