Online Schooling.

[Juliebove]

Anyone have experience with this? My daughter is in the 8th grade and pushing me hard to do it. She is refusing to go to school. Which doesn't set well with me. So much so that I have threatened to go to the counselor if she doesn't get on the bus. She has already missed 4 days this year. She she was sick. But this is a replay of the year before and things are not going well.

She is not a self started. She seems to need a LOT of help in school. She is in special ed. She has a learning disability that means it takes her brain a lot longer than the average person to do things. She doesn't understand written directions or even spoken directions well and as a result, frequently gets things wrong. So for these reasons alone I feel it wouldn't work for her.

But there are also things I am unwilling to do. Like field trips. I am disabled and can't do a lot of walking. Or drive very far. And she will still have to take whatever test they now take that replaces the WASL. The online school said they would give us the location for the testing and I would have to take her there then. Not something I want to do.

I would also lose any chance of privacy if she were home all the time. It is rare for her to even go in another room when she is home. She needs to be near me all the time. She does take about 12 hours of dance a week. Sometimes I stay there because the studio is in another city. But I do leave sometimes.

I am just torn. I really do not think this is a good idea for her in any way shape of form. She does have a math tutor once a week but if she needs additional help, I am not the one to give it. We do not work well together and any time I do try to help her she just screams at me. Something that should take 10 minutes can take us 3 hours because of all the yelling and often tears on her part. She will not listen. And if she starts to do something wrong and I try to correct her, it all goes downhill. I just have to let her keep going and doing it wrong until she finally just gives up and throws the work down. Then has a fit of tears and finally calms down out of sheer exhaustion. Only then will she listen to me and then most of the time I wind up doing the work for her. Which isn't helping her I know.

From what I have read, it seems like this type of school would be good for a student who isn't challenged in school and can work well on their own. This doesn't sound like her at all.

I have spoken to her teachers. None of them seem evil or in any way harmful to her, except perhaps for the science teacher who had them working with wheat pasta to build a car. I wasn't so thrilled with that.

I do know she doesn't like having to go from class to class or up and down the stairs but... We all went through something in school we didn't like, I'm sure. Except perhaps for my mom who really loved school. I hated school. I got through it. I just can't see this for her.

Does anyone have any input? The only person I know who did it was my friend's grandson who is her age. Due to behavior problems he was kicked out of school after school and he was forced to take this route. But they had no computer. So his mom would drop him off at the library where he would log on to the school then play video games. After about 2 weeks they kicked him out.

[elye]

My son enrolled in an online English class two years ago. He was in grade eight at a Montessori school, and was taking this course at the grade nine level as he is quite advanced in the arts courses and needed the extra challenge. The school ended at grade eight, so the only way to take a grade nine class was through an online source.

Well, he lasted about a month. We pulled him out of it as it quickly became clear that learning through a screen just wasn't for him. It was difficult getting further explanations on any vague instructions -- there usually is a number of teachers that are affiliated with the online course that can be emailed questions and concerns, but it took ages to hear from them, and by that time my son had another deadline to worry about. There were practical problems, for sure, and it became clear that this kid needed a person interacting with him, guiding him, facilitating his learning. This is the main reason we put him into a Montessori school.

So, if it didn't work for my son, and he does not struggle academically, I suspect it would not be an answer for your daughter who does.

I'm not sure where you live, but Montessori schools have incredible success rates with kids like your daughter. I could not believe the success stories that were surrounding my son in the four years he spent at this first-rate school. They are privately run, so there are tuition fees, but often they will subsidize. In fact, that is one of the Montessori principles: any child should have access to this type of teaching and learning, so our school basically charged people what they could afford.

Has your daughter been psychologically assessed? Sounds like there is a lot going on.. . ..is she celiac and gluten-free? Some of her behavior sounds like what my son was going through before he took gluten completely out of his diet.

[ravenwoodglass]

It does not sound like homeschooling with online courses is going to work in your instance. I think the fact she doesn't like going from class to class or up and down the stairs may be a hint that she is being bullied. That is when that usually occurs. Is there a different school she could go to in your city? I live in a small city but we have a Catholic School here that is smaller and better 'policed' by the teachers between classes and the class sizes are smaller. When I worked there many students that were not Catholic went there and some of them were there on scholarships for finacial reasons.

If a different school is not a possibility for you it might be a good idea to see if she will talk to another adult that she trusts or a counselor to try and get to the bottom of what is happening. If she is being bullied then the school can be put on alert to it and perhaps be more observant of what happens between classes. One of the schools I worked at had a rule that all teachers and aides needed to be in the halls between classes to watch out for that type of thing. I hope you can get to the bottom of what is going on. School can be an unpleasant experience for some kids, myself included. When my son was being badly bullied we put him into karate classes to help with his self confidence and give him a way of fighting back if he was physically attacked. It helped him a great deal both emotionally and physically. Perhaps that rather than dance might not be a bad idea.

[elye]

Raven, that is a GREAT point that I did not think of -- bullying could be there. My son was also bullied, and this was ultimately why we pulled him out of the school he was in, as the staff were just not getting on it. Like your daughter, Juliebove, my son dreaded school every morning and his marks were affected.

[Juliebove]

My son enrolled in an online English class two years ago. He was in grade eight at a Montessori school, and was taking this course at the grade nine level as he is quite advanced in the arts courses and needed the extra challenge. The school ended at grade eight, so the only way to take a grade nine class was through an online source.

Well, he lasted about a month. We pulled him out of it as it quickly became clear that learning through a screen just wasn't for him. It was difficult getting further explanations on any vague instructions -- there usually is a number of teachers that are affiliated with the online course that can be emailed questions and concerns, but it took ages to hear from them, and by that time my son had another deadline to worry about. There were practical problems, for sure, and it became clear that this kid needed a person interacting with him, guiding him, facilitating his learning. This is the main reason we put him into a Montessori school.

So, if it didn't work for my son, and he does not struggle academically, I suspect it would not be an answer for your daughter who does.

I'm not sure where you live, but Montessori schools have incredible success rates with kids like your daughter. I could not believe the success stories that were surrounding my son in the four years he spent at this first-rate school. They are privately run, so there are tuition fees, but often they will subsidize. In fact, that is one of the Montessori principles: any child should have access to this type of teaching and learning, so our school basically charged people what they could afford.

Has your daughter been psychologically assessed? Sounds like there is a lot going on.. . ..is she celiac and gluten-free? Some of her behavior sounds like what my son was going through before he took gluten completely out of his diet.

Thanks! We had a Dr. recommend Montessori years ago. But there is no way we can afford it.

She is not celiac. She has food allergies. It was her behavior in school that led to her diagnosis. The teacher thought she had ADHD. Her dad does have it and so does her grandpa. She does not act hyper like they do but she does have trouble paying attention at times. I am not sure it is ADD though. But it could be.

[Juliebove]

It does not sound like homeschooling with online courses is going to work in your instance. I think the fact she doesn't like going from class to class or up and down the stairs may be a hint that she is being bullied. That is when that usually occurs. Is there a different school she could go to in your city? I live in a small city but we have a Catholic School here that is smaller and better 'policed' by the teachers between classes and the class sizes are smaller. When I worked there many students that were not Catholic went there and some of them were there on scholarships for finacial reasons.

If a different school is not a possibility for you it might be a good idea to see if she will talk to another adult that she trusts or a counselor to try and get to the bottom of what is happening. If she is being bullied then the school can be put on alert to it and perhaps be more observant of what happens between classes. One of the schools I worked at had a rule that all teachers and aides needed to be in the halls between classes to watch out for that type of thing. I hope you can get to the bottom of what is going on. School can be an unpleasant experience for some kids, myself included. When my son was being badly bullied we put him into karate classes to help with his self confidence and give him a way of fighting back if he was physically attacked. It helped him a great deal both emotionally and physically. Perhaps that rather than dance might not be a bad idea.

A different school isn't an option and bullying isn't allowed. I will try to talk to her about it again. They have "no bullying" signs all over the school and if anything like that happens that child will be suspended or expelled depending on the circumstances.

As for karate, there is no way I would allow her to take that. My husband had to have hand surgery when he took it. She also has no interest whatever in it. He did try to get her to do it before he did it himself and got the injury.

[Juliebove]

Raven, that is a GREAT point that I did not think of -- bullying could be there. My son was also bullied, and this was ultimately why we pulled him out of the school he was in, as the staff were just not getting on it. Like your daughter, Juliebove, my son dreaded school every morning and his marks were affected.

She has always dreaded school and has not always gone to the same school. We move here from NY. I will ask her again about the bullying. She has said it hasn't happened.

She did have an incident in something like 1st or 2nd grade. I can't remember. It was on the bus and a 6th grade boy stole her lunchbox and wouldn't give it back. That is the only thing I know of that has ever happened to her.

I think in some ways she is just like me. She does not put up with immature behavior. And that is a lot of what I see at the school. And she says it happens a lot on the bus. Sometimes the kids just laugh and laugh and laugh for no apparent reason and just do and say silly things. She has commented on this sort of stuff. She has no patience for it. And neither do I.