Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):
  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Fiance Had UC/J-Pouch & Now Celiacs, In Over My Head....


learning

Recommended Posts

learning Newbie

Hi, just found out a few minutes ago that my fiance has Celiac's disease. He had UC since he was born and a few years ago had his colon removed and they gave him a J-Pouch. He has been adjusting fine, except he was having accidents while sleeping 4-5 times a week. Completely unpredictable, couldn't tell if it was anything he was eating or not to cause night problems.

Since his night problems kept happening, he went to the doctor and they tested and decided he had Celiac disease and now he will be going to a gluten-free diet.

I am in over my head, I don't know how to cook already, and now that we are getting married, I am going to have no idea what to do. I don't want to do anything wrong or make terrible food for him. He loves baked foods, and pasta and everything like that, and I know he is already pissed enough that he can't eat the food that he wants to be able to eat.

He says that he feels so much better after having surgery for his UC and that he thinks he doesn't have Celiacs because he says he feels fine. Could the doctor have made a mistake?

He already weighs around 215 and he found out that he will probably gain weight after going gluten-free and he's really upset about that too.

This is all so stressful and I guess I dont even know what I am asking or what I want to hear. I am just worried for him and worried for us. I know this'll be hard.

I also read that it's hereditary. Does this mean that 100% our future kids will have it? If my fiance developed Celiac's after his J-Pouch surgery (which i read is possible) does that mean that his case isn't hereditary?

What can I expect from this new Celiac disease in his life? He was already living with bowel problems before. should I expect it to be worse now? I mean, that past years after his surgery he's been eating gluten and everything and nothing really terrible was happening (besides night problems) so why does he have to go gluten-free now??

Sorry for rambling, just thinking out loud and im just worried.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



ravenwoodglass Mentor

Welcome to the board. I know this new diagnosis seems daunting and it does take some getting used to but it is very doable. Celiac is genetic but not everyone who has the genes will develop celiac. When you have children there is no certainty that they will or will not ever develop it but you will know to have them checked if they have symptoms.

In the beginning especially it is good to go with whole unprocessed foods. Fresh meat, chicken, seafood, veggies and fruits (fresh or single ingredient frozen), beans, rice, potatoes are all gluten free in their natural state. After he has been on the diet for a while then go ahead and add in specialty gluten free items such as breads, pizza crusts, cookies etc. It is a good idea to add each new item in one at a time so if the item has an ingredient that his body reacts to badly then it is easier to figure out what is causing the problem. It is a good idea to avoid dairy at first and quite a few of us have issues with soy so do leave those out for a month or two if you can.

If you live together now or later when you are married you do need to take some precautions if your whole home is not gluten free. He will need a dedicated new toaster for gluten-free bread, replace any scratched non-stick cookware, pasta strainers and wooden untensils and cutting boards. This will keep him safe from cross contamination.

Not all celiacs gain a lot of weight, those are usually the folks that were very thin from the malnutrition to begin with. Some of us can be overweight when diagnosed and find we have an easier time losing down to our ideal weight. I was one of those and was at my heaviest in my life when diagnosed but within a short time I went down to the same weight I was in high school and have stayed there.

You may also find he is a bit moody for a week or two when he starts the diet as many will go through withdrawl. That will pass. Good luck and don't let the diagnosis get you down too much. Since celiac is an autoimmune disease since he has been diagnosed there are a lot of problems that he could have develop down the line that now he likely will not.

When the time comes for the wedding do not be shy about asking your caterer about having a gluten free reception and cake. Many are quite knowledgeable and accomodating the diet shouldn't be a huge issue and more likely than not the other folks at the reception won't even know that they are all eating gluten free.

Read as much as you can here and ask any questions you need to.

Googles Community Regular

Hello,

My first suggestion is to take a deep breath. It will take a little while to accept and then change. Mistakes will be made (look at how many posts there are on getting glutened), but it will be okay. There is a steep learning curve, but it will be okay. Take time reading over the board. There are lots of people having gone through this who have a lot of good advice. I would also suggest getting some books on Celiac disease for you and your fiance to read so that you can have the basics all in one place. There are good overview books. I liked Celiac Disease for Dummies when I first was diagnosed. It gave me a grounding and then I was able to learn the details after I had the overview. I was like your fiance and loved pasta and baked items before I went gluten free. However, after giving my intestines a while to heal, I am now able to eat gluten free pasta and gluten free baked goods and don't miss the other stuff as much. That doesn't mean that I never miss some of the foods I can't eat, but I hardly ever notice anymore. I have found new favorite foods.

Celtic Queen Explorer

First of all, deep breath. It will be okay. He's lucky to have someone who loves him so much and wants to help him. To answer some of your questions:

I don't know how to cook already, and now that we are getting married, I am going to have no idea what to do. I don't want to do anything wrong or make terrible food for him. He loves baked foods, and pasta and everything like that, and I know he is already pissed enough that he can't eat the food that he wants to be able to eat.

See if your library has some gluten free cookbooks. There's a thread on here with gluten free recipes. There are a ton of blogs on the internet. See if you have a friend who can help teach you some basic cooking skills.

He can substitute gluten free baked goods and pasta, but be careful because they're a lot more expensive. It's better to try and learn to cook without gluten-free foods as much as possible. Much healthier and easier on your wallet.

He says that he feels so much better after having surgery for his UC and that he thinks he doesn't have Celiacs because he says he feels fine. Could the doctor have made a mistake?

Did he have a blood test or colonoscopy/endoscopy/biopsy? He may feel better because the surgery helped the UC but there may be other issues that he doesn't realize are related to the gluten. He needs to stay gluten-free because if he doesn't he's putting himself at risk for other autoimmune disorders and for certain types of cancer.

He already weighs around 215 and he found out that he will probably gain weight after going gluten-free and he's really upset about that too.

Actually, he might not gain weight. I'm a "fat Celiac" and I've actually been losing weight since I've been gluten-free. And I eat a lot more than I did pre gluten free. But I don't eat a whole lot of processed gluten-free foods. I tend to use those as a treat. I've heard a lot of gluten-free baked goods are higher in calories and lower in fiber and nutrition than glutened ones. So if he eats a lot of gluten-free processed foods, he might gain some. But if he sticks to fruits and vegetables and lean meat, he might lose weight.

I also read that it's hereditary. Does this mean that 100% our future kids will have it? If my fiance developed Celiac's after his J-Pouch surgery (which i read is possible) does that mean that his case isn't hereditary?

It is hereditary, but not all your future kids will have it. If I remember correctly, the number for first degree relatives is 1 in 20, versus 1 in 133 for the general population. His case is hereditary. It was likely triggered by his surgery. Many people carry the gene but don't develop the disease until some sort of "traumatic event" like illness, surgery, pregnancy. If you do have children, you'll know to get them tested early and at that point you'll be a pro at the diet.

should I expect it to be worse now? I mean, that past years after his surgery he's been eating gluten and everything and nothing really terrible was happening (besides night problems) so why does he have to go gluten-free now??

He may feel worse before he feels better simply because it takes the intestines a while to heal and it takes a while for the gluten to leave your system and for your body to repair itself. If he keeps eating gluten, he'll slowly be poisoning his own body. He's already had damage to his body from the UC which was probably related to the Celiac. And his risk of future health issues will be much, much higher. Plus, he might be surprised by how much better he feels off the gluten.

Hang in there. You will get through this. To me going gluten free sounds much easier than having your colon removed.

Skylark Collaborator

Take a deep breath and don't panic. You will be fine.

One of the underlying problems behind UC can be celiac disease. Your fiance was lucky to finally be diagnosed. He must not eat gluten, especially since he's already had so much damage to his GI tract.

The celiac genes are only risk genes. Your kids do have a chance of being celiac but you'll already know how to cook for them and what to look out for.

As far as cooking, there is LOTS of good, naturally gluten-free food. Get yourself a rice cooker right away and consider a crockpot. The rice cooker is a must-have. :) Here's a bunch of gluten-free crockpot recies. Open Original Shared Link You might consider a cooking class where you learn to roast or broil meats, prepare fresh vegetables, and make homemade soups and stews. Don't make the mistake of eating a lot of gluten-free, carbohydrate-heavy, processed food. It's expensive, often has unavoidable traces of wheat, and frankly processed food is not very good for folks with GI trouble.

Di2011 Enthusiast

One thing that will help keep your relationship safe from Gluten Free harm:

Don't eat a big fat piece of pizza or one of bright pink-icing donuts in front of him.

In fact if you can go Gluten-Free along with him you will be very grateful in the long term and he will be extremely grateful in these first few hard weeks.

Skylark Collaborator

One thing that will help keep your relationship safe from Gluten Free harm:

Don't eat a big fat piece of pizza or one of bright pink-icing donuts in front of him.

In fact if you can go Gluten-Free along with him you will be very grateful in the long term and he will be extremely grateful in these first few hard weeks.

This is GREAT advice!


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



learning Newbie

Thank you !!

lucky28 Explorer

Hi~ welcome to the forum! I'm pretty new here~ diagnosed in august. it is a bit overwhelming at first but don't give up there is a lot of great advice in the posts here! Unfotunately you will~ at least in the beginning have to cook most meals~ but cooking is like any skill you have to learn~the more you do it the better you'll get at it!

You said your fiance doesn't feel bad, just his occasional accident but if he is like me~I didn't think I felt "that" bad (except when I was gorging on gluten before testing-but that's another story). I didn't realize just how bad my symtoms were until I started feeling better on the diet. I guess the symptoms crept up so slowly I was just coping. This might be what has happened to your fiance also, after some time gluten-free he might be surprised as to how good he feels!

I wish you luck! And a rice cooker is definitely going to be your new best friend!

AVR1962 Collaborator

The thing that jumped out at me in your post is your fiances wondering if he had a wrong diagnosis, most likely not the case and infact his other issues may have been from the underlying celiac. Gluten does terrible terrible things to the body. I would be overwhelmed too if I was taking this on for someone else but I tell you, read learn and it will make a HUGE difference for your fiance. It is not easy, takes adjusting to emotionally and there will be alot mistakes along the way. Kind of keep in mind, and you actually might have to remind him, that gluten becomes a poison to our bodies so it is not a matter of finding out how much you can tolerate, it's a matter of having none of it in your diet. Best to you both!

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - DebD5 commented on Scott Adams's article in Spring 2026 Issue
      1

      The Dark Side of Gluten-Free: Counterfeit Labels and Global Food Safety Failures

    2. - Jmartes71 replied to Jmartes71's topic in Doctors
      6

      Second chance

    3. - trents replied to EssexMum's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      2

      Concerning GP advice

    4. - knitty kitty replied to HectorConvector's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      327

      Terrible Neurological Symptoms

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      133,642
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Jen Radford
    Newest Member
    Jen Radford
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.6k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):
  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Jmartes71
      Thats the thing, diagnosed in 1994 before foods eliminated celiac by biopsy colonoscopy at Kaiser in Santa Clara  now condo's but it has to be somewhere in medical land.1999 got married, moved, changed doctor's was with former for 25 years told him I waz celiac and that.Fast forward to last year.i googled celiac specialist and what popped up was a former well known heard of hospital. I thought I would get answers to be put through unnecessary colonoscopy KNOWING im glutenfree and she wasn't listening to me for help rather than screening me for celiac! Im already diagnosed seeking medical help.I did all the appointments ask from her and when I wanted my records se t to my pcp, thats when the with holding my records when I repeatedly messaged, it was down played the seriousness and I was labeled unruly when I asked why am I going through all this when its the celiac name that IS what my issue and All my ailments surrounding it related. I am dea6eoth the autoimmune part though my blood work is supposedly fabulous. Im sibo positive,HLA-DQ2 positive, dealing with skin, eye and now ms.I was employed as a bus driver making good money, I loved it for the few years my body let me do until I was yet again fired.i went to seek medical help because my body isn't well just to be made a disability chaser. Im exhausted,glutenfree, no lawyer will help and disability is in limbo thanks to the lax on my health from the fabulous none celiac Google bay area dr snd team. Its not right.
    • trents
      Welcome to the celiac.com community @EssexMum! First, let me correct some misinformation you have been given. Except in the case of what is known as "refractory" celiac disease, which is very rare, it is not true that the "fingers" will not grow back once a consistently gluten free diet is adopted. Celiac disease is an autoimmune condition whereby the ingestion of gluten triggers an inflammatory process that damages the millions of tiny finger-like projections that make up the lining of the small bowel. We call this the "villous lining". Over time, continued ingestion of gluten on a regular basis results in the wearing down of these fingers which greatly reduces the surface area of this very important membrane. It is where essentially all the nutrition from what we eat is absorbed. So, losing this surface area results in inefficiency in nutrient absorption and often to medical problems related to nutrient deficiencies. Again, if a gluten-free diet is consistently observed, the villous lining of the small bowel should rebound. "We was informed that her body absorbs the gluten rather then rejecting it and that is why she doesn't react to the gluten straight away, it will be a build up and then the pains start. " That sounds like unscientific BS to me. But it does sound like your stepdaughter may have a type of celiac disease we know as "silent" celiac disease, meaning, she is asymptomatic or at least the symptoms are not intense enough to usually notice. She is not completely asymptomatic, however, because you stated was experiencing tummy aches off and on. Cristiana gives some good suggestions about ordering "safe" food for your stepdaughter from restaurant menus in Europe. You must realize that as the step parent who only has her part of the time you have no real control over how cooperative her other set of parents are with regard to your stepdaughter's needs to eat gluten free. It sounds like they don't really understand the seriousness of the matter. This is very common in family settings where other members are ignorant about celiac disease and the damage it can do to body systems. So, they don't take it seriously. The best you can do is make suggestions. Perhaps print out some info about celiac disease from the Internet to send them. Being inconsistent with the gluten free diet keeps the inflammation smoldering and delays or inhibits healing of the villous lining. 
    • Scott Adams
      Here are some articles on cross-reactivity and celiac disease:      
    • knitty kitty
      @HectorConvector, Here are some articles about "dry Beriberi" and neuropathy.  I hope you've been able to acquire thiamine hydrochloride or Benfotiamine.  I'm concerned.   Dry Beriberi Due to Thiamine Deficiency Associated with Peripheral Neuropathy and Wernicke's Encephalopathy Mimicking Guillain-Barré syndrome: A Case Report and Review of the Literature https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30862772/ Dry Beriberi Manifesting as Acute Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy in a Patient With Decompensated Alcohol-Induced Cirrhosis https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7707918/ A Rare Case of Thiamine Deficiency Leading to Dry Beriberi, Peripheral Neuropathy, and Torsades De Pointes https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10723625/
    • cristiana
      Good evening @EssexMum You are quite right to be concerned about this situation.  Once diagnosed as coeliac, always a coeliac, and the way to heal  is through adopting and sticking to a strict gluten diet. That said... I have travelled twice to France since my diagnosis, firstly in May 2013 and again in August 2019.   My spoken French isn't bad, and whilst there I tried my best to explain my needs to chefs and catering staff, and I read labels very carefully when shopping in supermarkets, but both times I came away with worsening gastric symptoms and pain. Interestingly,  after the second holiday, my annual coeliac review took place the following month and although I'd been very careful to avoid gluten all year, thanks to that August holiday my coeliac antibodies were elevated,  Clearly I hadn't been imagining these symptoms and they must have been caused by gluten sneaking in somehow. When I spoke to my gastroenterologist on my return, who is an excellent doctor, he told me with a smile that this was a very common experience in France among his patients, and not to worry too much about it! In fact, before we went away in May 2013, which was just after I had been formally diagnosed, he told me not to even bother trying to adopt a gluten free diet until I returned, knowing what France was like, but I was feeling so awful at that time I ignored his advice and at least tried to make a start with it. (I ought to say - both these visits were some time ago, so perhaps things are a lot better there now.) So what to do?  I would say at least try to explain to catering staff the situation - they should be able to rustle up a plate of cheese, boiled eggs, tuna, salad and fruit, and if things like crackers and gluten-free pot noodle or oats can be packed in the UK, those can be produced at mealtimes.    Of course, most larger supermarkets in France do now cater for coeliacs, but when I was last there the the choice wasn't as wide a range as we have in the UK but I think that is partly because the French like to cook from scratch, whereas our gluten-free aisles have quite a lot of dried or pre-baked goods in them/convenience foods, because I think we as a nation tend to use them more. I would be worth doing a bit of research on the internet before the trip, - the words you want are 'sans gluten'.  I've just googled 'sans gluten Disney Paris" and this came up.  I do hope at least some of this is of help. https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurants-g2079053-zfz10992-Disneyland_Paris_Ile_de_France.html  Whatever befalls in France, at least your stepdaughter can resume her usual diet on her return. On a related tack, would you be happy to post any positive findings/tips upon her return - it might be of use to others travelling to Disneyland Paris with children in future? Cristiana
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.