Temper, Temper

[abqrock]

My son has celiac disease and DH. I wanted to know if it is just in my mind or do other kids have problems with anger after they are exposed to gluten? If others have the same problem any ideas on how to speed things though to clear out system or how to handle. I can not allow him to just lose control ( we had to leave DMV he was pounding my leg and he did not even know why) but if you can get him on a time out when he has lost it your a better person than me. When he is completely gluten free we do not have a problem. Sure he is 5 and not perfect but he will go on the time out and then it is not often he needs to.

Information? Advice?

Traci

[emeraldskies]

I used to throw a lot of temper tantrums when I was two. This is how my parents dealt with it--they would make me shut myself in a room until I had gotten it all out of my system. They would ignore me completely, and it's no fun to throw tantrums if no one will listen. Eventually, it would run its course. If it was in public, they would rush me out to the car, so I wouldn't gain the attention of others around me. I was a very strong-willed child, but discipline gave me a great deal of self-control later on in my teens and adulthood.

[gf4life]

My oldest son has anger issues when he gets glutened. He also has severe emotions that swing from extremely angry to crying all the time. He is a wonderful kid when he is gluten free. My son didn't start getting so angry (and even violent outbursts) until he was about 7 and I handled it by sending him to his room. A time out wouldn't work, he had to be alone in his room, in order for him to calm down. There were times where he would stay in there for hours because he was so upset. Occasionally he would get a spanking if whatever he did actually hurt someone else. He would slam doors, scream at the top of his lungs, throw toys, punch or kick his brother, or me. Fortunately he would NOT behave this way in public, I think because he was older he was more aware of other people looking at him.

He would also cry at the drop of a hat about anything and everything (and often nothing). The crying had been going on all his life. He was always extremely sensitive and moody. So was I when I was a child.

I really don't know what to tell you about how to deal with your 5 year old, other than to try really hard not to let him have gluten. Accident will occasionally happen though and it is best to be prepared to leave when he is having a fit in public and just go home. Extra quite time and extra rest is helpful. I found that once I knew it was gluten causing this behavior I was able to handle the situation better. I was more patient with him and would reminded him that he was acting that way because of the gluten and he usually would start to calm down. He often didn't realise why he felt so angry and he didn't like being that way either. But when I would get angry with him, it would make him worse. I try to stay calm and take a break when he gets out of hand. Fortunately he is very careful, since he doesn't like getting sick.

God bless,

Mariann

[abqrock]

Thanks for the reply If I were to put my son in a room alone when he is having a melt down I would need to pad the walls from destruction. This is not a normal I want my way tantrum that is why I wondered about a connection to gluten. I can see him go from fine to furious in 0 to 60. He does not like it if anyone looks at him, attention is not his goal. I believe in firm discipline, which is why I believe we do not have many problems on any normal given day. I do not allow him to get away or profit from his behavior. It could be that the DH is itching him so that causes the loss of control I am not sure but there seems to be a correlation to gluten contamination. I was hoping someone else had noticed, and was aware of a why to help his system return to normal more rapidly.

Mariann, I want to thank you for sharing with me how you guide your son. I did not know if I should make the gluten connection for him. I was concerned he would use gluten as an excuse to explain away his normal 5-year-old behavior. He is not above saying he has a tummy ache to avoid something or invoke other family members sympathy. My Husband has been known to give our son extra treats and soda to “make up for what he can not have.” Your point of helping him know what is going on makes sense. I can tell he is confused and does not feel in control. Putting a name and reason for the unexpected emotions may help him. Thank you, I believe this will help us.

God Bless.

Traci

[Jnkmnky]

Itching can drive anyone a little nuts. My son appears autistic when glutened. He doesn't talk or move a lot or pay attention. He can't focus. He's pretty damned near non-responsive. He even drools with his head hanging over. He's totally spaced out. Just goes to show you how differently gluten can affect each person. When my son is gluten-free, he is the most imaginative, social, friendly, wacky, kid you ever saw. Night and day. Only glutened him twice in four years. Ruined one Christmas....

[Canadian Karen]

Hi Tracy,

I can't give any advice really, just some support!

I am the celiac in the family. So far, all my four children have escaped the disease. But what I can tell you is that when I am glutened, my temper flares like you wouldn't believe. I LOSE IT!!!!

Also, another thing I notice, and anyone who wants to ring in here with possible reasons why, is that I tend to get b*tchy the same time of day, every day. Around 5 p.m., I tend to get really short-tempered, snappy, easily lose my patience, etc. I am at a loss as to why..... Just wanted to demonstrate that even with a gluten free diet, temper seems to often be one of our continuing symptoms..... (I have broken the training wheels off of two bikes so far this summer because I have lost it and just picked them up and threw them through the air into the garage, just because the kids were arguing over them.....) Needless to say, the kids know when they have pushed me too far!!! LOL!

Karen

[Jnkmnky]

Karen, Try counting to ten! Seriously, sometimes we train ourselves to have those tension releasing time scheduals. You could probably retrain yourself not to let it all out at once at 5pm everyday. Maybe think about getting half of it out of your system mid-afternoon when less folks are home? You wouldn't have to actually get mad, but instead, you could sit down with a cup of tea and concentrate on relaxing and breathing to release tension. And as for the bike pitching...well, it happens. Just try to talk your way out of it next time. You may think you look crazy standing there talking yourself out of throwing a bike, but think how you look flinging the thing!

[mouse]

All my life I have had temper flare ups that were a totally embrassament(sp) to myself and sometimes my family. As I was having these tantrums, I would be thinking "what the H was I doing and stop it now". They were totally out of control and I could not stop them. Then I would cry afterwards and the short term depression would hit over how out of control I was. When I went gluten-free, my husband and I noticed after two weeks, how they just disappeared. If I get to the point where I can't handle daily stress, then some small thing can still trigger them. But, they are small temper tantrums compared to the old ones. And they are so far apart that it is a relief to myself and my husband. I might suggest that if you have these about the same time everyday, that you reschedule your life around them. For instance, dinner would be a later time, if that applys. And during the tantrum time you shut yourself away in your bedroom or den and read a few chapters of a book, anything that you find relaxing. Put on music you like and just forget the daily stress for a 1/2 an hour. Teach your family that this is YOUR time to download. Good Luck.

Armetta

[tarnalberry]

Can't say about kids, but at 26, I turn into a witch, with a capital B, if I get a real gluten accident. (Tiny ones make me irritable, big ones make me nasty-angry.) And it takes a day or two to get it out of my system.

I'm afraid I don't have any really good advice. I understand that, at his age, temper tantrums and hitting/throwing things while angry comes in part from not being able to express his anger or why he has it. Unfortunately, I can tell you that, as an adult, in the case of a gluten response of anger, there may not be a reason (other than the gluten) why he feels angry. It's hard to rationalize and admit "that food makes me angry, and I can't do anything about it". It FEELS like someone's injected anger directly into your blood stream - it feels chemical, not just emotional.

As for dealing with it, what I do is to tell my husband "I'm feeling really b%$@#y. Best to probably just leave me alone." And then I spend my time (for a day or two), either doing very quiet/relaxing things (reading, listening to calming music (I've got a great selection of yoga music, and it helps!), taking a batch, etc.) or doing something really active that burns up all my energy for the moment (running, ... (ok, usually running) ..., (yeah, that's the one for me... just the running fast paced, can hardly breath, bouncing, tiring, ... let's me pound my anger into the ground)). Perhaps some combination of quiet relaxing time (I'm going to have to remember Mariann's suggestion about "go to your room" ;-) ) and an approved outlet for getting out his anger.

Oh, yeah. One last one. I would, based on my childhood and now, suggest that you make sure he knows it's OK to feel angry. It's OK to be mad. It's OK to feel all those things. It's just that it's not OK to become violent about it. I mean, even if you've told him that in the past, I find that it *still* helps me if my husband says "It's ok. I understand." whenever I let him know if I'm feeling like the Gluten-Witch of the East. :-)

[tarnalberry]

Also, another thing I notice, and anyone who wants to ring in here with possible reasons why, is that I tend to get b*tchy the same time of day, every day.  Around 5 p.m., I tend to get really short-tempered, snappy, easily lose my patience, etc.  I am at a loss as to why.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Is this relatively shortly before meal-time? Could it be a hypoglycemia issue? Occasionally, my hypoglycemic symptoms wouldn't make me feel nauseous, but would rather give me one of those headaches you don't realize you have until it's three hours later and make me REALLY crabby. (Irritability is a common symptom of hypoglycemia.)

Or is there some other regular part of your day that you may be reacting to significantly before or after the fact?

I like Jnkymky's ideas about taking a few deep breaths. Sometimes if I'm feeling particularly snapish, I'll do a little meditation. It doesn't necessarily make me not feel crabby, but it makes me better able to deal with how I'm feeling without taking it out on others.

[Merika]

Occasionally, my hypoglycemic symptoms wouldn't make me feel nauseous, but would rather give me one of those headaches you don't realize you have until it's three hours later and make me REALLY crabby.  (Irritability is a common symptom of hypoglycemia.)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So, how did you find out you're hypoglycemic? I just googled it and it sounds a lot like me - less so now post-celiac disease diagnosis, but still very familiar. It appears that it can be caused by a "critical illness" and starvation, which could clearly be celiac disease, and that the treatment in that case is to treat the underlying illness (celiac disease, in this case).

Do you treat yours separately? Or are you just aware that it exists and try to eat regularly?

Merika

[tarnalberry]

So, how did you find out you're hypoglycemic? I just googled it and it sounds a lot like me - less so now post-celiac disease diagnosis, but still very familiar. It appears that it can be caused by a "critical illness" and starvation, which could clearly be celiac disease, and that the treatment in that case is to treat the underlying illness (celiac disease, in this case).

Do you treat yours separately? Or are you just aware that it exists and try to eat regularly?

Merika

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My blood tests didn't come back conclusive for hypoglycemia either, so at best I'm borderline, but my doc listened to my symptoms and said "try this", and that's the key. My feeling, based on everything I've read and heard, is that many more people are sensitive to low-blood sugar effects than think so. But at that kind of "in-between" stage, the only thing you do to "treat" it is to avoid getting low blood sugar by keeping your meals balanced - never having anything that's too high in carbs, especially refined carbs, without it being balanced by fat and protein. A friend of mine had much more severe hypoglycemia, which was affecting her heart rhythm, and had to be even more careful about it, but I hope to avoid that by just being aware of the content of my food.

(I should stress that eating *regularly* actually is a bit less important that eating *balanced*. If you eat a more balanced meal (for me, I aim for at least 25/25/50 (fat/protein/carbs - with plenty of fiber in those unprocessed carbs), maybe 30/30/40, but that's hard), your blood sugar won't spike as quickly, you won't release a bunch of insulin, and then suffer the blood sugar crash. You can go a "normal" amount of time without needing to eat again. If you frequently eat high glycemic index meals, even if they're small, you'll rollercoaster your blood sugar, which - I understand - can make the problem progress over the years.)

[Rachel--24]

Can't say about kids, but at 26, I turn into a witch, with a capital B, if I get a real gluten accident.  (Tiny ones make me irritable, big ones make me nasty-angry.)  And it takes a day or two to get it out of my system.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm the same way. For me thats probably one of the worst symptoms because I have absolutely no control over my emotions. I was never like that before. Well...Graves Disease caused me to get very angry and irritible but that was corrected quickly and I was back to normal. This dragged on for so long undiagnosed that I was pretty much either an angry B**** or depressed and crying every day when I was still eating gluten. It happens very quickly...and since I didn't know the cause it was all the more frusterating. I would cry over anything and everything and when people would ask why I was crying...I really didn't have an answer because there was no reason. I would just get upset and I was constatly yelling "I don't know why...something is MAKING me cry and I don't know WHAT it is." Some people know how to say all the right things and can calm me down pretty quickly but others I really can't be around when I'm glutened because I get SOOO much worse.

Does anyone know why gluten causes these types of reactions? How is it that a grown adult is capable of throwing fits... probably not much different from a child...simply from eating gluten?

[backwoodsmama]

When my 4 yr old daughter gets gluten she often has a really nasty temper tantrum. Starts about 15 mins after she eats it. She says things like "You're not my mommy, you should go away and never come back" and then she'd throw herself on the floor and scream and kick. This from a kid who never lets me out of her sight and always wants to sit in my lap and never wants to leave home because she'd "miss my mommy too much." I think the gluten gives her really bad stomach pains, and sometimes if she seems to be starting down that path if I can get her to admit that her stomach hurts it will help avoid a major meltdown. It also helps me to remind myself that this is not her real self. Hard to do, though, especially out in public.

I don't have gluten issues, but I am also borderline hypoglycemic. I get really short-tempered if I'm hungry, and I also get really nasty if I eat too much sugar. Especially stuff with chocolate in it, which is of course what I crave!

I think the specific style of discipline you use doesn't matter so much as keeping consistent. And controlling any diet-related factors as much as possible. When a meltdown starts which seems diet-related, reminding yourself and the child that this is the food talking, and not the child's real self, may help you both. Good luck!

[ianm]

I have a freind with an 8 year old boy that is gluten intolerant and also has severe autism. As long as he is gluten free he can function on a basic level and is really quite freindly and pleasent to be around. When he gets even a tiny amount of gluten I have seen this kid literally turn into the Tasmanian Devil. He will destroy everything in his path and physically assault anybody who gets in his way. If there is nothing to break or nobody to hit he turns on himself. He will scratch, hit and bite himself until he is covered in blood. This can go on for hours and he has to be put into a straight jacket, no joke there. It was one of the most frightening things I have ever seen.

I used to be quite moody and irritable and could fly off the handle quite easily. Now not much seems to bother me now.

[Canadian Karen]

I'm the first to admit that I definitely have the Irish temper...... fly off the handle one minute, forgotten the next minute......

I am wondering if we have discovered the reason behind the "famous Irish temper"....... After all, celiac disease is common in Irish ancestry. Same can be said for Italians too, who can be known to be hot-blooded/hot-tempered, celiac disease is also common in Italy.......

Just a thought........

Karen

[Canadian Karen]

Also, thought this might be interesting....... Along the same lines......

Open Original Shared Link

Karen