Kissing (I Know There Have Been Others Like This)

[GlutenFreeAustinite]

So I've been gluten-free for a year and a half, and my boyfriend of five and a half months is not. He is quite respectful of my dietary needs, and will often order gluten-free so I can try whatever it is, but he does eat bread, pizza and things with bread crumbs around me. That doesn't bother me at all, and he's quite supportive, but after he finishes eating, he will kiss me. I've never really noticed gluten symptoms afterwards, and I'm more adventurous than some as I'll eat foods that aren't labeled gluten free but don't have anything in them, or stuff made on shared lines. But I've read enough, and it seems there's a risk of even "invisible" glutening.

Should I have my boyfriend brush and floss after eating? I'd feel insane doing that, but if it kept me from damaging myself, I'd definitely ask him.

[kareng]

Its simple. No brushing, etc no loving.

Seriously, if you have been together 5 months, you should be able to talk about this. If he isn't willing, good to know that now. He can give you a hug or a kiss on the cheek or wherever else but not the mouth with gluten crumbs in there.

[GlutenFreeAustinite]

I definitely get that---the thing is, I don't seem to have any reaction whatsoever. My boyfriend has never made me sick. But what I wasn't sure about was if I could be harming myself without having a reaction?

At any rate, I brought it up to Boyfriend tonight and he said he'd just stop eating gluten around me if it was that big a deal.

[kareng]

I definitely get that---the thing is, I don't seem to have any reaction whatsoever. My boyfriend has never made me sick. But what I wasn't sure about was if I could be harming myself without having a reaction?

At any rate, I brought it up to Boyfriend tonight and he said he'd just stop eating gluten around me if it was that big a deal.

He sounds like a nice guy.

A crumb can be starting the antibodies flowing. Some people get an immediate & recognizable reaction. For me, I think its an acumulation of crumbs that get me.

http://www.cureceliacdisease.org/living-with-celiac/guide/treatment

The gluten-free diet is a lifetime requirement. Eating any gluten, no matter how small an amount, can damage your intestine. This is true for anyone with the disease, including people who do not have noticeable symptoms.

[Celtic Queen]

My husband is a beer drinker. He knows that I won't kiss him when he's been drinking beer until after he brushes. Your guy sounds like a good one since he's willing to accomodate your needs.

[CarolinaKip]

Has anone had problems even after their husband/bofriend brushes? I sometimes feel bad about a hour afterwards and he brushes his teeth. I believed his toothpaste to be gluten-free, I'll ask him again.

[Celtic Queen]

I haven't had a problem as of yet. But I find I'm becoming more and more sensitive each month I'm on the diet, so it may happen in the future.

I hope it's only the toothpaste. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't kiss my hubby

[gluten-enemy]

My boyfriend is sensitive too about my needs. As long as you communicate well about it, it should be good.

[GlutenFreeAustinite]

I definitely think Boyfriend would be willing to accommodate. My question is....is it really necessary? Am I really damaging myself internally, even if I don't get sick, just from him?

[cap6]

a kiss one the cheek is one thing, passion is off limits unless you brush. I don't like it but if I'm sick it's no fun for either of us. Sounbds to me like a guy worth keeping.

[GlutenFreeAustinite]

Boyfriend is totally awesome. I've been letting him keep on eating gluten with me (though he really doesn't do it thaaaat frequently anymore) because I'm going to be doing a gluten challenge/test in a few weeks, and there's no point in having him jump through hoops at this point to avoid it when I'm going to be eating it myself. After said test, I'm going to buy him a toothbrush and toothpaste as a way to inform him that he needs to brush after meals.

[~**caselynn**~]

I'm just going to throw this out there, as embarrassing as it is but here it goes....my ex started out drinking gluten-free beer around me, but when he realized it wasn't a big deal to me he swapped back to regular old gluten-full beer. On more than one occasion, we had eaten gluten-free meals together, that I made so I know they were gluten-free, I had reactions. Now I don't just mean gut pain, nausea, fatigue, I'm talking lips swelling along with the usual. The only thing with possible gluten I came in contact with was his lips that had been guzzling the regular old beer. Haha we laugh about it now....I didn't find it so funny back then, keep that in mind! ?

[goblue2014]

This issue JUST occurred to me tonight. I

[T.H.]

I definitely think Boyfriend would be willing to accommodate. My question is....is it really necessary? Am I really damaging myself internally, even if I don't get sick, just from him?

It's a possibility, yes. You're correct in that some people would get damage from this, and not everyone will show symptoms. It's a very frustrating situation, because some people don't seem to be affected by this - they do this, they feel fine, and their follow up tests are fine as well, as well. There's just no way to know which category you are in until test time.

I'd just make sure that if you allow this, you are being diligent in your follow up tests for the disease that checks if you are healing well, you know?

[T.H.]

Has anone had problems even after their husband/bofriend brushes? I sometimes feel bad about a hour afterwards and he brushes his teeth. I believed his toothpaste to be gluten-free, I'll ask him again.

Yeah, I have before. :-(

Toothpaste sounds like a good thing to check. Another you might want to check is if he uses chapstick or any other lip balm - that frequently has gluten and he might not be thinking about it.

There was a study on peanuts and kissing that had some interesting results. What they boiled down to is that how much protein remains in the mouth is rather individual. A few people had no detectable protein immediately after they ate, without even brushing. Just waiting an hour eliminated protein from almost all the rest in the study. But one person wasn't protein free for 4.5 hours. They also found that "no intervention really removed it from saliva uniformly." Intervention being brushing, chewing gum, etc...

If gluten is like peanuts in this respect, it sounds like sometimes, whether there's protein remaining in the mouth might have more to do with your spouse and how he digests proteins than with you, eh? (Article on the study http://www.webmd.com/allergies/news/20060306/kissing-peanut-allergy-dangerous )

[Asweetgeek]

It's nice to know I'm not crazy. So far I have a wheat allergy and gluten sensitivity (although the sensitive part has been increasing lately)but not five minutes after my bf ate a cookie (I'm gluten-free, he's not), I blew up like a balloon and he'd washed his mouth out and everything. So he's been very sensitive and sweet. He eats 99%gluten-free with me now and only sneaks something (and tells me) if he's going to be away from me for more than a few hours. I've had a few more gluten style reactions since then just walking down a bakery aisle at a grocery (Which is where the goofy people put the gluten-free stuff). It's really strange but you'd be surprised at what swapping saliva (and air) can really pass on. Good luck!

[nomoregluten]

"After said test, I'm going to buy him a toothbrush and toothpaste as a way to inform him that he needs to brush after meals."

Probably better to communicate with him more directly. We aren't so great with hints

[myforest]

I have gotten deathly ill from kissing guys without asking them to brush. - And now i am so sick from it, I am scared to kiss anyone because brushing does not get it all out, so it needs time to digest and get out of their mouth if you are going to be kissing in any passionate way.

I read the article a while back about the peanut allergy and kissing, and I wish they would do more studies about how long it takes to get gluten out of one's mouth. It makes for a very restrictive and difficult social life - especially if you are single or getting into new relationships. most guys find the whole thing off putting, which is sad!

When I tried out kissing without brushing (after 11 years of being gluten free and having always been strict, i threw caution to the wind) - I got so sick (diarrhea and cramps, bloating, fatigue) for many months and am still trying to recover. I was kissing my boyfriend after he'd drank beer or ate gluten containing foods a few times a week.

TRUST me it's not worth the pain or damage.

but its very hard to say no, because you want so bad to be normal and spontaneous and romantic.

[eatmeat4good]

Yeah, I get sick after kissing my man after he eats gluten and even after he brushes.... so I said, "Hey man, did you know that we Celiacs have to replace pots and pans that cannot be cleaned sufficiently enough of gluten in order to keep us safe?" ...after giving this some thought....

He decided to be gluten free 99.9 % of the time.

A lot of people report that they are ok with kissing after their partner brushes...but I wasn't. And we tried the experiment several times just to be sure. It was very obvious.

I let him keep his teeth...but no kissing the days he chooses to eat gluten. He tells me and we just take a day off if he eats gluten. Luckily he doesn't think gluten is worth it very often.

[DandelionH]

Oh gosh! Really?! Yikes. I might adopt the 'brush first' attitude too after reading this thread. I wonder if that explains a few inexplicable CC events as well...
Bother . I don't want to be that person. Even though he doesn't mind. Part of me does. I guess that's also the part that doesn't like clarifying that a waiter heard me and gets that this is serious not a fad... and that part has gotten me sick before. eheh.
Mmm... interesting...
Thankyou thread! (Although now I'm worried that even brushing might not help?! Or scrubbing pots and pans thoroughly. Yikes. It's getting really hard to tell what's me being excessive and just how it is...)

[Chrismark]

You most likely will not have any reaction to being kissed right after a meal.  However, for your own peace of mind and to play it safe, I would definitely advise brushing after a meal before kissing.  If he cares about you, that shouldn't be a problem.  I suppose if you know it was a gluten-free meal, then brushing isn't needed.  Here is another answer:  Eat 100% gluten-free!

[Grlybrainiac]

I recently had a reaction after forgetting that my boyfriend had eaten some ice cream with Oreo's in it just 5 minutes earlier (I react to both gluten and dairy) and we kissed each other lightly. For the next couple of hours, my temperature shot up and I had body aches, chills, fatigue, and gas. He was visiting me for a couple weeks at my place (we're in a long-distance relationship, opposite sides of the U.S. coast) and I was foolishly letting him eat some gluten and dairy in my apartment (I didn't want to sound "ridiculous" to him by demanding he not eat anything unless it was gluten-free and DF).  For the couple weeks that he was here I was frequently gassy, had body aches, chills, and fatigue (one instance was cross-contamination at a restaurant though). He usually tries to brush his teeth and rinse his face off, I'm not sure at this current point if it's effective or not.  I didn't know about the length of time it takes for proteins to break down before I read this thread, that makes a lot of sense!