Need Advice, What To Do?!

[Victoria6102]

What are your th

[pricklypear1971]

My thought is you'll get nowhere fast trying to use him as an example of what NOT to do.

People have a very big blind spot when it comes to people in his profession.

You may also consider that his choice to risk cc is part of his job (as weird as this sounds). A person in his profession would risk a lot of negativy by not accepting meals offered from members, etc. He may feel if he declines food and meals he will risk his ability to build rapport.

And he's probably right.

So, in addition to inviting disdain from the congregation for "being mean" to the preacher, you'd probably rub salt in the wound of someone who is struggling with his health and facing a tough career choice.

Perhaps try to approach him privately for a Celiac to Celiac discussion about coping with the congregation, or perhaps he could work the topic into a sermon on his own terms?

[Metoo]

As some of you may know from my other posts, I have many teens at my church who don't believe me about celiac disease. This week we have an evangelist (preacher who travels around) preaching at our church. He has celiac disease. He eats what other people cook if they say it's gluten free, while I would not because I have my own pans and I check on every ingredient by calling the company to make sure it's gluten free. He eats the burgers at Five Guys while I don't because, atleast the one near me, they brown up the buns on the same grill as the burger so there is clear CC. I do eat the fries though he shares sticks of butter and mayo while I have my own of all of those to avoid CC. Not trying to degrade him and his decisions at all, just giving you the facts so you know the sutuation, Anyway, I was talking to his wife yesterday.

She said that he is NOT getting better and is actually having bleeding in his stomach. My question is, this would be a great opportunity to show these teenagers that I am not exaggerating. They think that I should be able to do all of the things that this person does. If I explain to them how he is very sick, maybe they can get an understanding of how I do have to be careful and that celiac is not made up. What are your thoughts? I don't want to bring up the subject and cause people to get madder or whatever...I dOnt want pity or anything. I just think this might be s good example to show how celiac does destroy your body if you don't eat gluten free and that I am not exaggerating. So, any thoughts on this?

I know that you are a teenager. I remember how I was treated as a teenager, and I didn't have gluten problems then!

But for me...as an adult, I think sometimes you have to realize that people just aren't worth arguing with, or trying to show them something. People are just ignorant, and sometimes they perfer to be that way. If they are mistreating you because you are different, then SHAME on them. I don't think though that going out of the way to defend yourself, or your difference in diet/eating because you have a health condition will really do anything to them. They are probably just the type, that no matter what they are going to look for a person to out, so that they feel better about themselves, because it gives them the feeling of being a more powerful group. These are people you probably do not really want to be friends with, so why try to pursuade them? Its a waste of your time and effort.

The very sad part of all this is that its happening inside a church function. I think if I were you, I would talk to your parents about this. At this point I think your parents need to be speaking to the church preacher/youth leader about the actions of the youth with inside the youth group, and how it doesn't really meet a christian perspecitve. They should be teaching love, embrassing others even though they are different...etc. At this point, I think your whole situation shows a major flaw in this youth groups leaders. Maybe they should have a meeting/discussion on how people are different, and how singling them out can make them feel...etc.

[Victoria6102]

Oh no, it's nothing against the preacher at all, you're right, he does have to accept the meals in order to not offend people which I totally understand! And i am happy that I don't have to be in his position where I'd have to trust what other people cook for me! He is truly sacrificing his health for what he knows God wants him to do and I respect that very much! I did not mean to sound like I want to use him as an example of someone who has poor judgement, because he doesn't have poor judgement! Sorry if that came across that way. Just I saw it as proof I guess, that being as careful as I am is not exaggerating, does this make sense better?

[pricklypear1971]

Oh no, it's nothing against the preacher at all, you're right, he does have to accept the meals in order to not offend people which I totally understand? And I am happy that I don't have to be in his position where I'd have to trust what other people cook for me! He is truly sacrificing his health for what he knows God wants him to do and I respect that very much! I did not mean to sound like I want to use him as an example of someone who has poor judgement, because he doesn't have poor judgement! Sorry if that came across that way. Just I saw it as proof I guess, that being as careful as I am is not exaggerating, does this make sense better?

I'm not saying you have anything against the preacher, but if you start using him as an example of what happens if a Celiac doesn't adhere to strict guidelines (ie:yours), your snarky little frenemies and everyone else will go after you for attacking the poor preacher.

I'd try talking to him one to one. You never know, you may be able to help each other.

[Victoria6102]

Your right, thank you for your advice, prickly pear. I wouldn't want to hurt him or be thought of as someone who degrades preachers. Thank you for that insight, very helpful! I guess I was thinking so much about how maybe I could finally convince them that I didn't think about the entire situation....I had better start thinking of others before myself:)

[pricklypear1971]

Your right, thank you for your advice, prickly pear. I wouldn't want to hurt him or be thought of as someone who degrades preachers. Thank you for that insight, very helpful! I guess I was thinking so much about how maybe I could finally convince them that I didn't think about the entire situation....I had better start thinking of others before myself:)

I think you and the preacher should have a nice convo over some gluten-free food. Perhaps you could cook for him? He'd probably appreciate a safe meal. Then ask for his help with your problems with your frenemies. It may help him face a few demons of his own, if you know what I mean??

[mamaw]

I agree with the other posters on this one..Plus some people have little or no reaction with CC.(Yes, I understand this man is having problems) he needs to be the one to make changes far as his diet goes....He needs to address his followers...if he desires change...

In the meantime you have already figured out that some things cause you issues.. But you too are still having CC when you eat the fries when they are fried in oil that also fries breaded foods..so there fore some CC issues may not be a problem for you either since you eat the fries...

You are very knew to the gluten-free lifestyle so you also are still learning....

Do you have a support (gluten-free) near you? If so, this may be a good time to have a knowledged member of the gluten-free support group come to your church & do a presentation about celiac& the gluten free lfestyle...Everyone would learn from this social event. & no one's feelings would be crushed......

[Victoria6102]

At five guys, they only make fries in the fryer....I don't eat fries anywhere else. I am as careful as is possible so I'm very 100% sure I'm not getting any CC, as when I drank out if someone else's water bottle By accident, I got glutened. anyway that's a whole other thing lol!

That's a good idea! Our church is having a potluck tomorrow which he will be here for, and would most likely be glutened if he ate anything. Maybe I'll make some extra food for him, too. That way he can be safe for once. It is super hard for him I'm sure! He doesn't have an outward reaction when CCed, as far as I'm aware, which makes it harder also I bet....tough situation for him.

Thanks for all your advice

[Victoria6102]

And I like that, "frenemies" is a great way to put it! Haha!

As far as support groups, the closest one I'd almost an hour away and it's once a month on nights when I'm busy. So I find it would not work. Plus I get help from this forum and that's enough for me! I appreciate the idea of having a speaker come, although I know these "frenemies" well enough to tell you that would most likely make it worse for me good idea, if the people around me were open to learning about celiac.