Dining Out W/ Multiple Allergies

[missy'smom]

I just want to share some thoughts and see what you all think/do since I know there are a number of people here who are casein and soy free in addition to gluten. Dining out for me has been a real comedy of errors lately and has gotten ridiculous. The waitstaff, despite their best efforts get a bit overwhelmed and I just don't enjoy the experience. I get mildly overwhelmed and frustrated too. I have diabetes and a severe latex allergy, which means I can't eat some place due to balloons and others I have to do some advocacy and additional planning/logistics. I've forgotten my meter, my insulin!, had insulin and no needles, ended up with the blandest food, cold food, waiting forever etc. I do call ahead, research online etc. and still these things happen almost every time I eat out these days, well EVERY time for a while.

I went out for Mother's day and honestly only enjoyed the free champagne, the plain strawberries and the donut I brought from home. The meal itself was hardly a meal and not all that tasty. My poor family today had to wait forever and there was cold food and mix-ups. I just really threw the staff out of whack I am afraid.

I've come to the realization recently that it's time for some acceptance and new permanent plan to move forward.

Part of that may mean more effort in the home kitchen. I have sufficient skills but resist a lot because it is so much work and I feel resentful. I'd like to be using my energy for other things and spending a lot of time in the kitchen makes me feel even more isolated from people. I do have many more allergies than just those 3 so even at home it can be a challenge. That's why I am very patient with restaurant staff ;)I don't tell them or overwhelm them with the others, I just watch out carefully, ask for changes and ask ?'s if needed But those oters really don't matter that much in the greater picture, soy, dairy and gluten wipe 95% or more of the menues items off.

Maybe I need to try to invite people over more. I haven't come to terms with serving my meals/dishes to others yet. For potluck style stuff I feel resentful that mine costs so much more both due to specialty products and due to eating larger portions of fresh meat and such and if I bring something I am contributing a huge amount but can't take anything that others bring-it's imbalanced. Serving one or a few in my home might be a better balance. I haven't explored that idea much. I also hesitate to share my food since it is so different from how others eat and so simple. It's just not the type of food that you get excited about eating. It is the type of stuff that you'd pass over if you had a choice, not us here, but most people in that other world. Lately at church there is one lady who is gluten-free, CF so when I make something for Easter or Xmas or an occasional tea time I know she will appreciate it since she doesn't bake much and is somewhat new to living in the US again and gluten-free here.

I need to figure out the restaurant plan too. I tire of steamed salmon and asparagus with no carb. I don't like steak. All the carbs have butter. I could have had blackened salmon and steamed asparagus with no carb today, but the pity party side of me said I always have salmon and asparagus and with no carb it felt like an incomplete meal. Most salad dressings have soy. Today there was a salad dressing that had no soy but I couldn't come up with anything else that went with it well-all the options clashed flavor wise. Desserts are out too. I did get strawberries but I eat them at home and if I get any dessert out, it's strawberries. I need a new perspective on eating out I think because I have realised this year that this soy allergy is permanent and serious so my very limited, repetitive menue options, I am afraid will not change. So my perspective must, unless someone has some ideas/suggestions for menue items.

Today I deferred my expectations/desires because family time was important-it was 2 family member's B'days and my sis is soon to be a mom and I won't see here for maybe a few months.

How do you all manage the practical and emotional side of this?

[Mom23boys]

Well, for starters, we avoid rush times. If we are going to celebrate Mother's Day by eating out, we will celebrate on a different day - a quiet day.

We don't make things harder than it should be by playing with fate. We have an off-the-chart anaphylactic shellfish allergy. We do NOT go to seafood places and expect them to accommodate us. It doesn't matter how much we are longing for the experience. We stay away. That doesn't mean we avoid all places with seafood, just the ones that would make things difficult for all parties.

Get to know the workers and them you. Tip well. Even if they make a mistake but are genuinely trying. Don't be a rude, entitled "me me me" person. A little bit of manners goes a long way.

[luvs2eat]

Dining at home w/ friends is a great idea. We rarely go out to eat because we live so rurally and there are few places to go! We entertain at home often. I did a Mexican feast on Cinco de Mayo that was completely gluten free and everyone was amazed! But it was really simple because everything I made (mexican lagagna, grilled tequila shrimp, a mexican caprese salad, and fresh fruit) was all naturally gluten free! I can do a mean General Tso's chicken too and tonight I'm trying another Mongolian beef recipe.

I like to cook... always have... but I do understand your hesitation. The ingredients can be expensive!

(side note... I bought about 10 big avocados for our Mexican feast at WalMart. Avocados were selling at Aldi's for 29 cents each. WalMart was asking $1.25 for each one. All I had to do was mention Aldi's price to the checker and all my avocados were 29 cents each!!)

[Bubba's Mom]

I can't tolerate soy or dairy either. Because of that, I just don't go to restaurants. It seems like everything they make has at least one of my forbidden ingredients? AND I don't like fresh Salmon, only canned.

I know from past history and relatives that have worked in restaurants that Mother's day is one of the busiest days of the year. When people are hurried or stressed, they're more likely to get "sloppy" with your order, or mess something up. I know you were celebrating a couple of other things too, but maybe next time suggest you meet the weekend before, or after for beter service and safety?

If you want to get together and make a meal yourself, grilled meats are easy. Add baked beans, baked white or sweet potato, fresh fruit, grilled asparagus or corn..whatever your food restrictions allow?

[missy'smom]

I usually wouldn't pick Mother's Day either but this is the only chance we hadto get the family together and we had to go out of town to meet up with family, But really the end result wasn't much different from recent experiences at other places during other times. The whole ballon issue is what throws me off and leaves me less prepared for other things-whay I've ended up forgetting diabetes supplies.

I used to enjoy cooking and trying new recipes more, but I have around 20 food allergies now some I hope are temporary and I can get them back after avoiding a long time. But several have told me they are permanent. I haven't had mexican in so long or Italian- no corn, tomatoes, avacado, cheese, cream sauce for me and no alternative dairy either except some coconut milk once in a while.

With diabetes I drink only tea or water. And I no longer enjoy the variety of teas due to allergies. No juices, lemonade etc.

I do try to find and try new recipes regularly but it all ends up tasting the same and isn't much fun to eat or cook. I grow my own herbs but it still gets so repetitive.

I just don't know how to get in a better place in my head about all this, how to accept it and find a way to feel good about it. It was bliss when all I had to worry about was gluten. Just gluten-free is so easy.

I've been in survival/battle mode for the past 2 yrs with all the new DX and just now coming to the realization that some of these things are permanent and need to find a more long-term way of dealing with/seeing it. With the restaurants too I've just been surviving one meal at a time. We don't eat out generally but once in a while, if traveling or others go as a group or a busy weekend.

The easiest way to deal with the restaurant issue is just to have a standard meal that I order everywhere, same thing everytime and have zero expectation for enjoying the meal. I honestly don't have huge expectations about meals out but still have some hope and feeling that I can at least enjoy something different once in a while, even if it's simple, but that's just not working out. My teen(who's also gluten-free) came to me last night and said it was the best B'day meal ever. That made up for my lackluster meal, actually not tasty meal, that I just ate because I needed to eat something.

[missy'smom]

My sis has a baby due any day now, otherwise I would have had her come here and made a meal for the family myself at home.

I'm sorry you don't eat out Bubba's Mom but it helps a little to hear that.

[Bubba's Mom]

My sis has a baby due any day now, otherwise I would have had her come here and made a meal for the family myself at home.

I'm sorry you don't eat out Bubba's Mom but it helps a little to hear that.

I know, sometimes we have to get together when everyone's schedules line up? It makes it hard.

I have a lot more foods than what I listed that are off-limits for now. I'm hoping I'll get some of those back too? So I'm gluten, soy, dairy, peanut, MSG, and yeast free. Tomato and corn occasionally and in small amounts only. The only grain I eat is brown rice. I don't eat breads or baked goods of any kind.

Just wanted to let you know I understand the frustration..and you're not alone.

I have an advantage over you though. I'm not diabetic, so if I can't find safe food when I'm out..I can just go without eating. I can only imagine how hard meals are for you.

(hugs)

I have such a limited diet..it's crazy! I eat the same things over and over. It gets old doesn't it?

[missy'smom]

I know, sometimes we have to get together when everyone's schedules line up? It makes it hard.

I have a lot more foods than what I listed that are off-limits for now. I'm hoping I'll get some of those back too? So I'm gluten, soy, dairy, peanut, MSG, and yeast free. Tomato and corn occasionally and in small amounts only. The only grain I eat is brown rice. I don't eat breads or baked goods of any kind.

Just wanted to let you know I understand the frustration..and you're not alone.

I have an advantage over you though. I'm not diabetic, so if I can't find safe food when I'm out..I can just go without eating. I can only imagine how hard meals are for you.

(hugs)

I have such a limited diet..it's crazy! I eat the same things over and over. It gets old doesn't it?

Good luck to you in getting some back. I tried really hard for 2 years but I still have the same number off the menu, just slight variation from the original list. I become allergic to frequently eaten food too. I got pumpkin back-only once in 4 days but so far so good for a few months now. Reintroduction of brussel sprouts was once in 4 days also but I had to drop it again. If I can get up the will I should try a few more re-introductions after school gets out. I've avoided a few for 2 years now, so maybe?...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I know it but needed to hear it again. Breads are difficult for me now. I lost tapioca, corn and potato I have one pancake recipe with only oats-both meal and flour. I've been pushing it a bit with tapioca lately but it's iffy.

I eat a lot of rice/rice based carbs these days-quinoa is ok but I don't have it as often.

I can skip meals and my blood sugar is generally ok, just dips a little low if I go too long. I am underweight though and really need 3 meals for energy.

I need to get a new picture of life in my head and fill up my time with enough other things that give me pleasure that I don't miss or feel bad about these food issues. Not sure how to do that yet

[mushroom]

I became aware that when we keep developing additional intolerances to foods that it can be because we have leaky gut syndrome, and that until that is healed we will not be able to regain the foods we have lost. And for some of us it takes quite an effort to heal. I am hoping mine is healed now. I have tons of foods I have been avoiding for 2-3 years now, and am testing some little by little. I can now eat some things with some potato starch, for example. For many of them, since it seems to be a lectin intolerance I have, I can eat a little as long as I take some Lectin Lock (no, I don't have shares in the company). It is a life-saver for me when I go out to eat if something is contaminated with lemon juice or tomato and I don't know it until my meal arrives After all, they can't list every ingredient on the menu or every garnish I have some things to get out of the way this summer, and then I am planning on trying out some more of my intolerances on a rotational basis.

[Bubba's Mom]

At Mayo Clinic MN I was told that leaky gut, or bacterial overgrowth can cause reactions to foods.

The leaky gut is pretty easy to understand, but many of us don't get the connection between SIBO and reactions. It was explained that bacteria emit toxins as they eat our foods, which are then leaked into the blood stream. So..it's not just proteins from foods, but toxins that are leaking out and "getting" us.

There are a lot of different bacterias. A person's gut flora changes as their diet changes..sort of why a rotation diet works. If the food keeps changing, one particular bacteria can't take over and cause stronger reactions.

When I was told I had SIBO I told the Dr. I had been taking probiotics for quite a while and that should have knocked out any bad bacteria. Dr. says no. It's like there are a certain number of "parking spots" and if they're already full of bad bacteria..the good ones have nowhere to park. They have to just drive by..and keep going. They are just evacuated along with stool.

[missy'smom]

At Mayo Clinic MN I was told that leaky gut, or bacterial overgrowth can cause reactions to foods.

The leaky gut is pretty easy to understand, but many of us don't get the connection between SIBO and reactions. It was explained that bacteria emit toxins as they eat our foods, which are then leaked into the blood stream. So..it's not just proteins from foods, but toxins that are leaking out and "getting" us.

There are a lot of different bacterias. A person's gut flora changes as their diet changes..sort of why a rotation diet works. If the food keeps changing, one particular bacteria can't take over and cause stronger reactions.

When I was told I had SIBO I told the Dr. I had been taking probiotics for quite a while and that should have knocked out any bad bacteria. Dr. says no. It's like there are a certain number of "parking spots" and if they're already full of bad bacteria..the good ones have nowhere to park. They have to just drive by..and keep going. They are just evacuated along with stool.

Thanks, that's interesting. I had read about leaky gut a bit but not the rest. I haven't been up to fighting the battle again or researching lately. I thought leaky gut fit me well but my endoscopy and colonoscopy and biopsies showed nice healthy tissue so I don't get it. My GI doc was younger and a Harvard grad and up on current issues and celiac disease I felt, but maybe not so in depth on some. I asked about leaky gut but she said it's too new, she can't dx, no tests available outside the research labs.

What's a person to do?

I did a planned out rotation diet for a while and it worked well to get me to a happy balance but I couldn't stick with it more than 2 mos. maybe. I also read about mast cells just a bit and allergies and learned that stress can increase the activity of allergy cells so I decided a needed a break from dietary micromanaging and work on relaxing. Notice I said "work" on relaxing LOL. I need a personal dietary manager/chef. Let them do all the record keeping/planning etc.!

[Bubba's Mom]

Thanks, that's interesting. I had read about leaky gut a bit but not the rest. I haven't been up to fighting the battle again or researching lately. I thought leaky gut fit me well but my endoscopy and colonoscopy and biopsies showed nice healthy tissue so I don't get it. My GI doc was younger and a Harvard grad and up on current issues and celiac disease I felt, but maybe not so in depth on some. I asked about leaky gut but she said it's too new, she can't dx, no tests available outside the research labs.

What's a person to do?

I did a planned out rotation diet for a while and it worked well to get me to a happy balance but I couldn't stick with it more than 2 mos. maybe. I also read about mast cells just a bit and allergies and learned that stress can increase the activity of allergy cells so I decided a needed a break from dietary micromanaging and work on relaxing. Notice I said "work" on relaxing LOL. I need a personal dietary manager/chef. Let them do all the record keeping/planning etc.!

You might want to consider asking for a hydrogen breath test? It shows if you have a bacterial overgrowth. It can lead to leaky gut. It could explain reactions to foods.

The GI that first DXed me had no idea what I was talking about when I mentioned leaky gut and asked if it could be responsioble for reactions to foods I had previously eaten with no problem. She obviously wasn't reading any of the latest info out there?

Scopes are good for seeing damage if it lies in the areas where the scope can reach. Unfortunately, there's a lot of the small intestine that can't be reached.

I have to "work" at relaxing too! LOL I totally understand.

I wish there was a boot camp type thing we could go to when having food issues. Like you said, let them do the cooking and record keeping..then they could just tell us what to do and send us on our way.

[Juliebove]

I'm a diabetic. I have gastroparesis which also limits what I can eat. Add in the multiple food intolerances and it's just no fun! Gluten is not an issue for me but it may as well be because almost all bread has milk and possibly even egg or cross contamination with those and/or nuts. Bottom line is I never have bread at a restaurant. And if I do have pasta it is the gluten-free at the Old Spaghetti Factory or Olive Garden because I know there is no egg in there. I try not to get that though because it *is* so high in carbs and they just don't have any protein I can eat. I am intolerant to chicken.

My standard restaurant meal is chopped sirloin or a hamburger patty and a plain baked potato. I can have fries at some places because while I avoid soy in some forms I do not have to avoid soybean oil. Soy messes with my thyroid so I try not to consume it but I realize that soybean oil is everywhere.

We try to limit our dining out to a few places. There is always Wendys. Never a favorite but I can have the side salad, potato or fries, chili and if I so chose to, the hamburger patty. But frankly I am so freaking sick of hamburger patties, I'd rather not. Heh.

There are two Mexican restaurants here that we can eat at. We haven't been to one for a very long time because last time we went there the food was pretty flavorless. It is usually very good but I have a feeling that when one guy in particular is there, the food is good. He was not there the last time we dined there and the food was flavorless to us. This happened before and we quit going for a very long time. But... They are super good about food allergies. I can eat their beans but not their rice because it is made with chicken broth. I can have their enchiladas and tacos but... They fry their tacos so they may contain soy.

The other Mexican place is also good about food allergies and the owner's dad is a diabetic so he is good to make special food for us. I almost always have the black bean soup in there. But he has made special salads for my mom when she was on a specific diet. I can't have his rice either because it is made with chicken broth.

There are a few local chains where we dine. They all cook from scratch and one has a book in the back listing the ingredients. We often order a variety of side dishes in these places. Such as a side of bacon, a baked potato, a fruit cup, dinner salad, etc.

I really hate it when there is a family birthday or other celebration coming up and the place picked to dine at is a place where we can't eat. For instance I can't have any seafood (fish or otherwise) or chicken and I just can't digest steak as well as some other things. But twice, the place picked was Red Lobster. They don't have a thing I can eat there aside from a dinner salad. Same goes for a local chain called The Rock. Well they do have a hamburger patty. But I seem to be an aytypical diabetic in that I have to have some carbs with my meals. Not too many carbs. But if I don't have enough, my blood sugar will go up to the 300's. And they simply have no carbs I can eat! Their fries are beer battered and that batter incluses eggs which make me violently ill.

So I go to the dinners or lunches when I can. I have decided for the most part I will just not go and have a dinner salad. Unless perhaps the meal is at an odd time which it often is in my family. But given my gastroparesis, a salad is always a risky choice for me. I may or may not digest it.

The big problem for me comes at dessert time. If they are eating at an odd time...say 2:45, then by the time they are ready for their cake, I am ready to eat. And lately I have been having hypos if I don't eat when I should. Even if I have eaten, I have to sit there surrounded by food that I can't eat. Oddly enough unlike most people, I have a severe dislike for cake, ice cream, most pie, cookies, etc. Even the smell of them makes me sick to my stomach. Perhaps this could be my body's way of protecting me from that which I shouldn't eat. I don't know. I have never liked these things. I get particularly annoyed when my mom decides that I should put the candles on the cake, the cake on the table, cut the cake, dish the ice cream or whatever. I feel very resentful that I have to touch these thing. Invariably I will get some on my hands and I must then wash my hands because I don't want to accidentally get any in my mouth. Nobody believes me when I say that a mere speck of that which I can't eat will make me very sick. I don't like being sick. And they make fun of me for it. That just makes me even more angry.

I have decided that for us it is a given that we will have to have lunch and dinner out once a week when we visit my parents. They just LOVE dining out and they do it for almost every meal. I have no clue how they can afford it. I have tried to fix meals at their house for all of us but it always winds up costing me more than it would to dine out. Because my mom doesn't cook much she doesn't keep a well stocked kitchen and I often have to buy everything I might need...such as seasonings. And then of course nobody will eat the same thing as the others and wants something special. So I do all this work and wind up with a ton of leftover food that will likely go uneaten. I have even tried to get meals at PCC (a local chain somewhat like Whole Foods). They label the ingredients on all of their prepared food. But my dad recently complained that he hates their food. Oh fine.

But... I feel that food intolerances aside, it is just better to make the food at home. That way I can control not only what I put in it but the portion size and it is cheaper. Yes, I do like some aspects of dining out. Particularly the part about not having to cook it or clean anything up. But it is getting costly. And with my diabetes and my daughter's pre-diabetes and her being on the South Beach diet...it is just better for us to eat at home.

[Juliebove]

Good luck to you in getting some back. I tried really hard for 2 years but I still have the same number off the menu, just slight variation from the original list. I become allergic to frequently eaten food too. I got pumpkin back-only once in 4 days but so far so good for a few months now. Reintroduction of brussel sprouts was once in 4 days also but I had to drop it again. If I can get up the will I should try a few more re-introductions after school gets out. I've avoided a few for 2 years now, so maybe?...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I know it but needed to hear it again. Breads are difficult for me now. I lost tapioca, corn and potato I have one pancake recipe with only oats-both meal and flour. I've been pushing it a bit with tapioca lately but it's iffy.

I eat a lot of rice/rice based carbs these days-quinoa is ok but I don't have it as often.

I can skip meals and my blood sugar is generally ok, just dips a little low if I go too long. I am underweight though and really need 3 meals for energy.

I need to get a new picture of life in my head and fill up my time with enough other things that give me pleasure that I don't miss or feel bad about these food issues. Not sure how to do that yet

I outgrew my dairy intolerance. But I didn't listen to the Dr. She told me because it had made me so ill, never to eat it again. I tried it. I was fine.

My daughter was told she could have it twice a week. So I had it twice a week. I was fine.

But then the two of us began cheating. We were eating more and more dairy to the point where I was being a pig about it.

I had signs that it was making me sick but I wanted to be in denial. Then the aversions began. Cottage cheese reminded me of milk, which I hate. And cheddar cheese was hard to take a bite of. I found myself sort of wanted it but averse to putting it in my mouth.

So it came as no surprise when the last test showed me intolerant.

[Juliebove]

I got to thinking of the times I had a hypo in a restaurant and that's no fun either! Once when I was new to insulin, we met at a restaurant. We were all there except for my nephew. My brother called him and he said he was within minutes of the place. So I shot the insulin. And then he didn't come. And then I had a hypo. Turns out he wasn't even in the right city. He thought the meal was at another place. He did this another time at another place but I knew by then not to shoot my insulin until I saw him!

Another time was the time Red Robin kept screwing up our meals repeatedly. We had ordered lettuce wrap burgers with no cheese. They brought us veggie burgers on buns. Then lettuce wrapped veggie burgers. They refused to listen after they screwed it up the first time. Then the manager came to the table and said we had to have ordered veggie burgers because that's what the waitress wrote down! I had gotten my daughter a milkshake so she at least had that. But it was 2 hours before we got our food. I just sat there getting sicker by the minute. They comped our meals and we've never been back.

More recently was at a restaurant that is normally fast. But that night they were not. And I had the hypo before I shot the insulin. I hate the taste of sugar so couldn't bring myself to eat sugar packets. Instead I opted for ketchup off of a spoon. On my! How I do NOT recommend that!

I have been having severe hypo problems recently. So on the days when I am at the dance studio for several hours, I have been eating my dinners there. Otherwise I might have a hypo when it is time to drive my daughter home.

Well... A couple of weeks ago I had packed my meal, had my insulin but no needle! That day was one where I had a freak hypo *at* dinner time. So I had to eat, rush home (which I don't like to do because of the price of gas) then shoot the insulin and rush back to get my daughter.

Tonight I had the food, insulin and needle but forgot my pills! I do keep extra prescription pills in my purse but I didn't have my supplements. Those are very large. They won't fit in my pill case. And because my daughter takes all of her pills and supps with dinner now, I just pack them all in snack bags for us. But time was not on my side tonight and I was very rushed to get out the door. It's always something.

Don't you just wish sometimes you could just eat and not have to fuss with things? I get annoyed with my family because sometimes by the time I have tested my blood sugar, shot my insulin and taken my pills they have all eaten their dinner and are either ready to leave or are clearing the table. This actually happened to me on one Thanksgiving. I had not one speck of food on my plate yet and they were all done eating!

[missy'smom]

Don't you just wish sometimes you could just eat and not have to fuss with things? I get annoyed with my family because sometimes by the time I have tested my blood sugar, shot my insulin and taken my pills they have all eaten their dinner and are either ready to leave or are clearing the table. This actually happened to me on one Thanksgiving. I had not one speck of food on my plate yet and they were all done eating!

Oh, I am SO with you on that Julie!

This scenario happens a lot with me too. Because of the hypo issue you mentioned, and I take Novolog, I wait 'till the food is on the table, whether it is at home or the restaurant, then I do my thing. Sometimes I will wait 10 min. after that for the insulin to start working so that I get better coverage and numbers, but then people are finished or nearly etc. Sigh...

I understand the hypo issue with meal timing too. I am much better off sticking with a meal schedule too. I start to feel really sick if I get too far off. Plus I can go mildly hypo even if I don't have insulin on board, if I go too long without eating. I've packed my meals for evening soccer games too so that I could drive home and not worry about being low due to delaying my meal too long. I brought my insulin but no needle last time we tried dining out-before mother's day. I am VERY blessed that I can still eat a low-carb meal and not have to take insulin so that's what I did and ordered my carb(they had one I could have-sweet potato) and took it home and then ate it with insulin. There were numerous other problems with that meal too.

Seems like even though we have different combos of allergies/dietary restrictions we end up with the same boring, bland menu choices that hardly make a full meal!

When I first went gluten-free I was friends with a group that would eat at ethnic restaurants where the staff were not native English speakers so I would bring my own meals and join them for the company, maybe I need to consider that option again, so long as I have sufficient notification, or order 1 item and bring in supplementation. It's been a while but in the past I never had a restaurant tell me that I couldn't have my packed food.