Seriously?

[celiacgirl1982]

As a relatively new celiac sufferer (one year), I'm adjusting to have to explain my new set of dietary regulations over and over. This is a light-hearted review of some of my favorite commentary from others. List some of the funny ones you have heard!

Upon turning down a food item with a brief explanation of my condition, I hear

[Skylark]

Waiter: You can have the white bread, but not the whole wheat.

Me: Oh, really? What is the white bread made from?

Waiter: Flour.

Me: And what is the flour made from?

Waiter: Well you know it's just flour, like you get at the store.

[GFreeMO]

My neighbor A NURSE said...Oh, I could never do that, I love bread too much. :rolleyes:

[Skylark]

One of these days I'm going to find one of those flour trees that people seem to think grow somewhere. I'm curious whether the brand name is already printed on the bags that hang from the branches.

[rosetapper23]

My favorites:

Me: No muffin for me--I can't have wheat.

Server: Oh, then you can have the blueberry muffins--they're only made of blueberries!

Me to yet another server: Do you know what kind of flour is used in your ______?

Server: It's white flour.

Yes, apparently, flour is made of only one thing: flour.

[Adalaide]

I have rolled my eyes and put my face in my hand at people who are like "there's wheat in flour?" as if they didn't know. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?!?! Where do people think flour comes from? Bashing my head against my desk until I bleed would be less painful than some of the conversations I've had with some people.

My favorite will still always be "well isn't there a way you can knead the bread to like... beat the gluten out of it?"

I'm surprised I didn't bleed out of my ears trying not to laugh right in her face and tell her that was by far the most stupid thing I've ever heard in my life. (And I spend a LOT of time on the internet.)

[srall]

WEll, I'm 2 plus years in and have heard all of those over and over.

We were traveling this past week (in New Orleans, 9 year old and me gluten free) and in one restaurant I asked for the gluten free menu. I knew they had one because we had eaten there the day before (server was AWESOME that day). This girl, however, was so confused. She brought the vegan menu. I said, "Well, we're sort of the opposite of vegan." It was very hard to explain to her what gluten free was. In her defense she was very young and heck...I would not have known at her age. But I seriously considered leaving.

Good news: First trip ever without getting one bit sick. New Orleans did right by us.

I also love the one when you tell people you're gluten free and they will say, "Hey, did you know Cub has a gluten free section?"

Pretty much. People want to help. Gotta' love 'em.

[bartfull]

The ones that get to me are things like, "Oh yes, I've gone gluten-free too!", as they stuff a breaded and deep fried mushroom or something similar in their mouths.

[nvsmom]

I have a bunch of friends who are EXTREMELY food aware and really splurge with only organic foods (which is great but expensive) so I had almost no sympathies from any friends. I had quite a few "At least there's lots you can still eat" to even a "welcome to our world" from a friend who has chosen to eat this way, and can afford to without batting an eye.

I'm only one week into this so I'm dying for someone, anyone, to say "oh, that's got to be tough," when I tell them of my recent diagnosis. Anyone!

[~**caselynn**~]

  On 7/6/2012 at 2:39 AM, nvsmom said:

I have a bunch of friends who are EXTREMELY food aware and really splurge with only organic foods (which is great but expensive) so I had almost no sympathies from any friends. I had quite a few "At least there's lots you can still eat" to even a "welcome to our world" from a friend who has chosen to eat this way, and can afford to without batting an eye.

I'm only one week into this so I'm dying for someone, anyone, to say "oh, that's got to be tough," when I tell them of my recent diagnosis. Anyone!

I have just the opposite, they all are very concerned, especially when we eat out. To the point where they will badger the waiter, leaving me saying" wait! That's my job!" Lol gotta love their enthusiasm. My best friend in particular did that exact scenario one day, to the point that I didn't even need to explain how to keep my meal seperate cooking wise. She then, mid conversation, offers me a roll heehee...really? Gotta love her! She's got my best interest at heart, but still talks to me like nothing ever changed haha ?

[Adalaide]

  On 7/6/2012 at 2:39 AM, nvsmom said:

I have a bunch of friends who are EXTREMELY food aware and really splurge with only organic foods (which is great but expensive) so I had almost no sympathies from any friends. I had quite a few "At least there's lots you can still eat" to even a "welcome to our world" from a friend who has chosen to eat this way, and can afford to without batting an eye.

I'm only one week into this so I'm dying for someone, anyone, to say "oh, that's got to be tough," when I tell them of my recent diagnosis. Anyone!

Lots you can still eat? A week in I thought I was going to starve to death. It isn't like you can go eat organic wheat bread, how insensitive of them. It's one thing to make a choice to eat a certain way, it is entirely another to have dietary needs thrust upon you. Some people just... grrrrrr, at least we understand it's tough.

[Juliebove]

I got comments from people about how they could never stick to that diet or how they would kill themselves if they couldn't eat _____. Now I am not a celiac but I do have food intolerances. And for me all it takes is the pain and/or stomach or other symptoms those foods give me to know that I will never willingly or knowningly eat them again. I am even so cautious that if I don't know what is in something, I won't eat it.

The thing that still gets me is to go to a place with a gluten-free menu, order off of it and then still get croutons on your salad.

[auzzi]

I did laugh at the woman who exclaimed that she had gone "gluten free" because it was a very healthy diet. So much so that she was trying to put her 13-year old son on it also. He was resisting ..

Was she coeliac/intoleran/allergic or even sensitive ? No, but she knew all about it due to her line-of-work .. which was ? she worked in a Health Food Store for one-day each week ..

Again, I laughed .. My boss was not happy with me laughing at her, but I was amused ..

[~**caselynn**~]

There's a lady like that where I work as well, lol. We have talked many times about how it's not to be a diet fad, that just because it's gluten free doesnt mean it's healthy, theres junk food gluten free too! Haha she didn't listen to me, I tried to explain that even though I'm celiac I don't even eat a lot of the processed things, I eat rather cleanly. She recently said to me, that gluten frees stuff can be just as unhealthy as the regular version...HELLOOO!?!? Haha I refrained from pointing out the obvious, but come on!! Oh common sense, where have you gone....I still chuckle about that when I see her.....

[ravenwoodglass]

I volunteer at a place where we have a table full of different baked goods that people can have. Every once in a while we get potato bread or rolls in. Can't count the number of times someone has plopped down a package and said 'Look we have some bread you can eat today'. Yea right cause that potato bread is made with just mashed taters.

Also frequently hear people say they wish they had celiac so they could be as thin as I am. Oh really you want bone pain, brain fog and constant D so you can get diagnosed and have to change your whole life around, yea right.

My boss gets it though and is always finding or bringing in stuff that is actually safe for me. She keeps me well supplied in chocolate.

[GlutenFreeAustinite]

So a very dear friend of mine from boarding school (who happens to have a peanut allergy) and I were joking around one day at dinner. I had my special food and I was telling the others at my table that you can actually buy powdered gluten in the store. The kid goes, "I'm gonna buy that and put it in your food." I looked right at him and said, "The peanut butter is right over there."

Of course, we were joking, so I wasn't offended at all, and neither was he, but still.

[celiacgirl1982]

Oh, I forgot one! How about:

"So, have you lost weight? Since you started 'doing that'?"

Like it's an arbitrary lifestyle or fitness choice, like I decided to take up roller-blading or try Atkins! No, I haven't lost weight, or maybe I have. It doesn't matter. This is about a serious health condition, not about being thin!

[srall]

  On 7/6/2012 at 6:25 AM, Juliebove said:

I got comments from people about how they could never stick to that diet or how they would kill themselves if they couldn't eat _____. Now I am not a celiac but I do have food intolerances. And for me all it takes is the pain and/or stomach or other symptoms those foods give me to know that I will never willingly or knowningly eat them again. I am even so cautious that if I don't know what is in something, I won't eat it.

The thing that still gets me is to go to a place with a gluten-free menu, order off of it and then still get croutons on your salad.

Now when people say something like "I would die without bread/gluten", I point out that for me I knew I'd die if I KEPT eating it...so really when faced with this dilemma it's not too hard to choose a life without bread.

[Raven815]

I am celiac (gluten-free) AND vegetarian. Imagine all of the fun stuff (not) I get to listen to. Double whammy.

Laura

[SmnthMllrX]

You can have this wheat, it's organic!

And my favorite:

I cooked it...Doesn't the gluten just cook out?

Makes me want to stab myself in my ears... Over and over again.

[ShannonA]

  On 7/5/2012 at 8:18 PM, Skylark said:

Waiter: You can have the white bread, but not the whole wheat.

Me: Oh, really? What is the white bread made from?

Waiter: Flour.

Me: And what is the flour made from?

Waiter: Well you know it's just flour, like you get at the store.

Hahahaha

[gonnabeglutenfree]

  On 7/6/2012 at 11:35 AM, ravenwoodglass said:

I volunteer at a place where we have a table full of different baked goods that people can have. Every once in a while we get potato bread or rolls in. Can't count the number of times someone has plopped down a package and said 'Look we have some bread you can eat today'. Yea right cause that potato bread is made with just mashed taters.

Also frequently hear people say they wish they had celiac so they could be as thin as I am. Oh really you want bone pain, brain fog and constant D so you can get diagnosed and have to change your whole life around, yea right.

My boss gets it though and is always finding or bringing in stuff that is actually safe for me. She keeps me well supplied in chocolate.

Only week one for me....with another month or so of "figuring what's really going on with me".

Have heard the most amazing diagnoses so far:

"It's just your gallbladder you know?"

"It's just your thyroid"

"It's your hormones"

"It's just stress"

"It's fatty liver disease"

"It's just because you stopped taking the pill"

"It's just your ____".

Nope. It is exactly what I have figured it out to be.

You know...because I live inside my body and feel the things I feel and the log the reactions I log. And puke and poop and have gas lots when I eat the things I eat (tis tha wheat).

The GI doctor discredited all my complaints and high levels of everything as:

"it's just IBS. Eat some yogurt. I recommend Activia"....AFTER I told him how much yogurt I eat to try and settle my stomach, along with double strength probiotics.

*forehead smack*

The only person who understands it all is my mom. My husband too.

Mom said it best "You know your body best. If you need to stop eating something. Then stop."

My husband said "Awesome. I can live semi-gluten-free with you. It will be a lot easier than when you were a vegetarian." Bless his heart....he must love me to want to join me.

[nvsmom]

  On 7/6/2012 at 8:58 AM, auzzi said:

I did laugh at the woman who exclaimed that she had gone "gluten free" because it was a very healthy diet. So much so that she was trying to put her 13-year old son on it also. He was resisting ..

Was she coeliac/intoleran/allergic or even sensitive ? No, but she knew all about it due to her line-of-work .. which was ? she worked in a Health Food Store for one-day each week ..

This sounds a bit like one of my friends who "welcomed me to thier world". She was telling me how she had eaten something with gluten the other day, and because she has it so infrequently now, how it caused her knuckle on her little finger to get sore and swell for a day... I nodded as politely and sympathetically as I could. LOL She's a bit of a princess.

  On 7/6/2012 at 11:35 AM, ravenwoodglass said:

I volunteer at a place where we have a table full of different baked goods that people can have.

Oh, that would be hard for me too! I'm still in the habit of grabbing what I want, or starting to nibble of my kids' mostly finished dinners... I do seem to catch myself before it gets to my mouth. LOL

[Darn210]

I often get some form of "Well, that's a healthy diet to follow." and the smarta$$ in me always responds . . . "yep, cheetos and skittles are gluten free."

[Skylark]

  On 7/6/2012 at 11:33 PM, Darn210 said:

I often get some form of "Well, that's a healthy diet to follow." and the smarta$$ in me always responds . . . "yep, cheetos and skittles are gluten free."

My smarta$$ reply to "how do you have anything to eat?" is "Truffles, caviar, and champagne are gluten-free. I do just fine."