Spaghetti Sauce From Hell

[Adalaide]

I wanted spaghetti last night, so that's what we had. I like Classico sauce, my husband does not. Mostly because Classico has these things in them called vegetables which happen to be the bane of my husband's existence. He's always just made up a batch of his mother's sauce and frozen it in small single serve containers for himself. Newly gluten free and working yesterday this task fell to me, he handed me a recipe and he was off to work. What I made... words can't even describe. I should be jailed. I almost took the pot, went to the local police station and asked them to lock me up. I will share this recipe because I can not bear the horror alone.

2 T olive oil

3 T Italian seasoning

1/2 tsp oregano and thyme

1 tsp crushed garlic

1 lb ground beef

3 cans tomato sauce

1 can tomato paste

1/2 cup ketchup

Cook first 4 ingredients for 2 minutes to blend flavors. Add beef and cook until not pink. Add remaining ingredients and cook as long as you want.

Okay, so here are the immediate problems I saw with this. Why on earth does this need THREE TABLESPOONS of seasoning? That's crazy! To top that off, oregano and thyme are both in Italian season already, what the heck is the point of an additional 1/2 teaspoon of each? To make sure that it looks like the meat is festive enough for St. Patrick's Day? Also, why am I frying crushed garlic for 2 minutes? That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. I did not even bother trying that and added the spices to the cooked meat. Why use sauce? It's already sauce! Why not use puree, which are tomatoes that aren't all messed with already. Ketchup? This is the one that has me thinking I've committed a crime. What the heck?!?

Seriously this needs love. Like, 1/3 as much spice and certainly not what it calls for. Where's the basil? Three times as much garlic. Pureed tomatoes. Skip the meat for meatballs, or at least use a nice sausage and not enough that you can cut the sauce with a knife. I could fix it... but then he probably wouldn't eat it. But if anyone has any great and easy (must be easy) recipes I'd be willing to give them a shot. (Must not be chunky!) I eat Classico because it's easy and I'm lazy, but if I had a good alternative that could work for both of us I'd be up for at least trying it.

[Razzle Dazzle Brazell]

  On 7/22/2012 at 7:10 PM, Adalaide said:

I wanted spaghetti last night, so that's what we had. I like Classico sauce, my husband does not. Mostly because Classico has these things in them called vegetables which happen to be the bane of my husband's existence. He's always just made up a batch of his mother's sauce and frozen it in small single serve containers for himself. Newly gluten free and working yesterday this task fell to me, he handed me a recipe and he was off to work. What I made... words can't even describe. I should be jailed. I almost took the pot, went to the local police station and asked them to lock me up. I will share this recipe because I can not bear the horror alone.

2 T olive oil

3 T Italian seasoning

1/2 tsp oregano and thyme

1 tsp crushed garlic

1 lb ground beef

3 cans tomato sauce

1 can tomato paste

1/2 cup ketchup

Cook first 4 ingredients for 2 minutes to blend flavors. Add beef and cook until not pink. Add remaining ingredients and cook as long as you want.

Okay, so here are the immediate problems I saw with this. Why on earth does this need THREE TABLESPOONS of seasoning? That's crazy! To top that off, oregano and thyme are both in Italian season already, what the heck is the point of an additional 1/2 teaspoon of each? To make sure that it looks like the meat is festive enough for St. Patrick's Day? Also, why am I frying crushed garlic for 2 minutes? That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. I did not even bother trying that and added the spices to the cooked meat. Why use sauce? It's already sauce! Why not use puree, which are tomatoes that aren't all messed with already. Ketchup? This is the one that has me thinking I've committed a crime. What the heck?!?

Seriously this needs love. Like, 1/3 as much spice and certainly not what it calls for. Where's the basil? Three times as much garlic. Pureed tomatoes. Skip the meat for meatballs, or at least use a nice sausage and not enough that you can cut the sauce with a knife. I could fix it... but then he probably wouldn't eat it. But if anyone has any great and easy (must be easy) recipes I'd be willing to give them a shot. (Must not be chunky!) I eat Classico because it's easy and I'm lazy, but if I had a good alternative that could work for both of us I'd be up for at least trying it.

My super sensitive sense from this tells me that your husband has watched way too many twilight episodes and has a severe fear of vampires. You should try spreading salt along all the windows and buying him a bunch of little wooden crosses. It may ease is mind.

[kareng]

This is my lasagna sauce. I think it would make a good spaghetti sauce. Cooking it for 2-3 hours helps the taste and cooks out some of the liquid. If you want it more liquid, pur a little of the pasta water in with it when ready to serve. A good Ital sausage will be the spices. The can ounces are approx. Get whatever is close.

1 Lb Italian sausage

1 lb Ground beef

1 clove garlic (maybe more)

1/2 tsp dried basil

1 16 oz can tomatoes

1 16 oz can tomato puree

1 12 oz tomato paste

2 cups water

Break up and cook sausage in bottom of a tall soup pan. Take it out and drain off grease. Cook hamburger and garlic. Drain off grease. Throw the meats back in the pan. Add everything else. Use a sharp knife to cut up the whole tomatoes a few times. They will cook down to sauce and not be chunky. Simmer with the lid off for 2-3 hours.

[~**caselynn**~]

  On 7/22/2012 at 7:10 PM, Adalaide said:

I wanted spaghetti last night, so that's what we had. I like Classico sauce, my husband does not. Mostly because Classico has these things in them called vegetables which happen to be the bane of my husband's existence. He's always just made up a batch of his mother's sauce and frozen it in small single serve containers for himself. Newly gluten free and working yesterday this task fell to me, he handed me a recipe and he was off to work. What I made... words can't even describe. I should be jailed. I almost took the pot, went to the local police station and asked them to lock me up. I will share this recipe because I can not bear the horror alone.

2 T olive oil

3 T Italian seasoning

1/2 tsp oregano and thyme

1 tsp crushed garlic

1 lb ground beef

3 cans tomato sauce

1 can tomato paste

1/2 cup ketchup

Cook first 4 ingredients for 2 minutes to blend flavors. Add beef and cook until not pink. Add remaining ingredients and cook as long as you want.

Okay, so here are the immediate problems I saw with this. Why on earth does this need THREE TABLESPOONS of seasoning? That's crazy! To top that off, oregano and thyme are both in Italian season already, what the heck is the point of an additional 1/2 teaspoon of each? To make sure that it looks like the meat is festive enough for St. Patrick's Day? Also, why am I frying crushed garlic for 2 minutes? That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. I did not even bother trying that and added the spices to the cooked meat. Why use sauce? It's already sauce! Why not use puree, which are tomatoes that aren't all messed with already. Ketchup? This is the one that has me thinking I've committed a crime. What the heck?!?

Seriously this needs love. Like, 1/3 as much spice and certainly not what it calls for. Where's the basil? Three times as much garlic. Pureed tomatoes. Skip the meat for meatballs, or at least use a nice sausage and not enough that you can cut the sauce with a knife. I could fix it... but then he probably wouldn't eat it. But if anyone has any great and easy (must be easy) recipes I'd be willing to give them a shot. (Must not be chunky!) I eat Classico because it's easy and I'm lazy, but if I had a good alternative that could work for both of us I'd be up for at least trying it.

Hmm okay, so about half the spices, 2-3 cloves of garlic, add some sausage and veggies (green pepper, onion, and mushrooms) and get rid of that ketchup!!

[beachbirdie]

  On 7/22/2012 at 7:10 PM, Adalaide said:

2 T olive oil

3 T Italian seasoning

1/2 tsp oregano and thyme

1 tsp crushed garlic

1 lb ground beef

3 cans tomato sauce

1 can tomato paste

1/2 cup ketchup

Ketchup? This is the one that has me thinking I've committed a crime. What the heck?!?

Seriously this needs love. Like, 1/3 as much spice and certainly not what it calls for. Where's the basil? Three times as much garlic. Pureed tomatoes. Skip the meat for meatballs, or at least use a nice sausage and not enough that you can cut the sauce with a knife. I could fix it... but then he probably wouldn't eat it. But if anyone has any great and easy (must be easy) recipes I'd be willing to give them a shot. (Must not be chunky!) I eat Classico because it's easy and I'm lazy, but if I had a good alternative that could work for both of us I'd be up for at least trying it.

Ummm, yeah. Ketchup? Interesting.

Question: Does your husband smoke or have other stuff (chronic plugged sinuses or something) that might affect his taste buds? Maybe he can't taste well if there's not enough seasoning in stuff. Really reaching for a logical explanation for the need of that much seasoning!

Soo...no self-respecting Italian would use bottled Italian seasoning. I think there are a couple of them around here, hopefully they'll drop by!

We don't use a recipe, we just do by taste, but here's kind of what we do. Oh...and because we are a mix of meat eaters and non-meat eaters, we've gotten in the practice of seasoning the meat separately from the sauce.

For the sauce:

Two quarts of tomato puree or strained tomato (Pomi or Cento brand...no added sugars)

1 can tomato paste

1 24-oz can diced or strained tomatoes (we use Cento or Pomi)

6 cloves of garlic, crushed ( (finely minced with knife is better) (yes, we love it...you can add more!)

1 whole onion, preferably sweet (Vidalia, Walla Walla), finely diced

1 tsp salt

1 tsp dried oregano

small handful (start with 3 or 4 leaves) fresh basil, chopped -- you can substitute a teaspoon of dried

a sprinkling of crushed dried red pepper, the kind that pizza parlors give you

A couple of splashes of red wine (cabernet, zinfandel)

For the meat:

Can't help you much there, we just cook up a bunch of ground meat with salt, pepper, an onion, more fresh garlic, and an Italian Sausage seasoning we get from a local nursery (they do mail-order if you're interested... Open Original Shared Link is really good.

You can also use commercially prepared Italian Sausage but I've found most of the store-bought ones to be not to my liking...too much gristly stuff, too many chemicals I don't want to eat.

Or, you can try Open Original Shared Link...it's kind of similar to what we do, but the recipe is more detailed and better written!

When doing the sauce, put some oil in your saucepan (preferably olive oil, if you have the time and patience to cook over very low heat) or use some sunflower or safflower. Too high of heat on olive oil creates free radicals which are very unhealthy for us.

Add your garlic and onion to the oil, in a cold pan. Turn the heat on low and let it "

As Alton Brown says, if you can hear it in the pan, it's too hot.

When the veggies are soft, we just throw the rest of the ingredients in the pan and start tasting. Let it simmer for a while over a low heat, it can scorch easily depending on the pan you use.

[beachbirdie]

  On 7/22/2012 at 8:04 PM, ~**caselynn**~ said:

Hmm okay, so about half the spices, 2-3 cloves of garlic, add some sausage and veggies (green pepper, onion, and mishrooms) and get rid of that ketchup!!

LOL, you made that very simple! I kind of thought the same thing, but for some reason I have always been such a wordy birdie...{sigh}

[sora]

Puree some of your Classico?

[~**caselynn**~]

  On 7/22/2012 at 8:30 PM, beachbirdie said:

LOL, you made that very simple! I kind of thought the same thing, but for some reason I have always been such a wordy birdie...{sigh}

Well I wanted to be wordy like others have but I don't measure anything when I make my sauce haha do I was just reeling it off from memory! And I just noticed I spelled mushroom incorrectly when you replied to it! Gah, oh well. ? no worries wordie birdie! ?

[JNBunnie1]

HAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

I'm sorry, I have no advice, I just think your reaction to your husband's Philistine tastes in food is freakin hilarious!

[JNBunnie1]

  On 7/22/2012 at 8:38 PM, sora said:

Puree some of your Classico?

Gets my vote!

[~**caselynn**~]

  On 7/22/2012 at 9:11 PM, JNBunnie1 said:

HAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

I'm sorry, I have no advice, I just think your reaction to your husband's Philistine tastes in food is freakin hilarious!

I did some LOL-ing myself, I needed that! ?

[Juliebove]

I never really measure for my sauce. I used to use Italian seasoning but now that my daughter and I know that we are intolerant to some things it contains, I can not. But for that amount of sauce I would have used probably a teaspoon. I would not have added the other herbs. My husband (who is Italian) would like that amount of garlic. I would not. You have to be careful not to cook garlic for too long or it will become bitter. I would never add ketchup. For two of us I would use 2 cans of tomato sauce and a pound of ground beef. That would be enough for two meals. I would only use other forms of tomato if that was all I had in the house. I'm not big on spaghetti and often I only make it because we are low on other food.

[sa1937]

Doctored up Classico gets my vote, too!

[Adalaide]

  On 7/22/2012 at 8:38 PM, sora said:

Puree some of your Classico?

In four years I have never thought of this. I'll run this by him and see if he'll eat if if the vegetables aren't all like CHEW US! Last night I had vodka sauce, I don't think he'd eat that if he had a gun to his head. It was delicious!

Lots of good recipes, I'll probably try them one at a time and see how it all works out. He doesn't have anything medically wrong with his tastebuds, but there is definitely something wrong. I handed him a cherry tomato from my garden, little golden/orangish thing that was perfectly ripe and told him it was sweet as candy and to eat it. He spit it out and told me I lied. But they ARE sweet as candy, I haven't brought a single one in the house yet, I eat them all as I water my plants they're so good.

I could pretty much give garlic a light fry in some oil and eat it on pasta, he thinks I'm weird. I eat the garlic out of our dill pickles. There is literally no such thing as too much garlic. Well, except for the people I have to be around after I eat it. I'll probably go through the suggestions again and pick the one with the most garlic.

[Takala]

  Quote

1/2 cup ketchup

Sacrilege !

[beachbirdie]

  On 7/23/2012 at 12:27 AM, Adalaide said:

In four years I have never thought of this. I'll run this by him and see if he'll eat if if the vegetables aren't all like CHEW US! Last night I had vodka sauce, I don't think he'd eat that if he had a gun to his head. It was delicious!

Lots of good recipes, I'll probably try them one at a time and see how it all works out. He doesn't have anything medically wrong with his tastebuds, but there is definitely something wrong. I handed him a cherry tomato from my garden, little golden/orangish thing that was perfectly ripe and told him it was sweet as candy and to eat it. He spit it out and told me I lied. But they ARE sweet as candy, I haven't brought a single one in the house yet, I eat them all as I water my plants they're so good.

I could pretty much give garlic a light fry in some oil and eat it on pasta, he thinks I'm weird. I eat the garlic out of our dill pickles. There is literally no such thing as too much garlic. Well, except for the people I have to be around after I eat it. I'll probably go through the suggestions again and pick the one with the most garlic.

LOL! We love garlic at our house, go through 3 or 4 heads a week. Waiting for my homegrown to be ready to pick! I love to get the garlic-stuffed green olives and munch the garlic cloves with them!

But, the suggestion to puree the Clasico sounds pretty good!

[freeatlast]

  On 7/23/2012 at 6:26 PM, Takala said:

Sacrilege !

[IrishHeart]

When I see a thread title like this....and then see Adalaide is the author, well I knew it was gonna be good.

Honey, if'n you were in my kitchen and I saw you even waving a ketchup bottle near my pasta sauce, I'd smack your hand and give you a stern talking to--and sent to your room without dinner.

Better not let Love2Travel see this "recipe".... .....OMG, she'll faint dead to the floor.

( In re: your hub's taste buds and thinking foods taste bad?

I have a thought... when I was very ill before DX, I had this problem. And I am a super-taster, so it was perplexing and frustrating when I could not eat because things tasted awful.....I would spit out perfectly good food and tell my hubs it was "spoiled". I could not eat for a long time because of the metallic taste and severe burning in my mouth. Maybe your hubs has a vitamin deficiency? just a thought)

[IrishHeart]

  On 7/22/2012 at 8:38 PM, sora said:

Puree some of your Classico?

Classic response. The simple one. yaay, Sora!

Hopefully, hubs will not "see the veggies".

[love2travel]

  On 7/25/2012 at 1:57 PM, IrishHeart said:

When I see a thread title like this....and then see Adalaide is the author, well I knew it was gonna be good.

Honey, if'n you were in my kitchen and I saw you even waving a ketchup bottle near my pasta sauce, I'd smack your hand and give you a stern talking to--and sent to your room without dinner.

Better not let Love2Travel see this "recipe".... .....OMG, she'll faint dead to the floor.

My husband just picked me up off the floor after fainting. I didn't respond until now as I did not know what to say about the ketchup! I'll say this - if it happened in my house during the winter you'd be shoveling the driveway. My spaghetti sauce is as authentic and delicious as they come. It will bring tears of joy to your eyes. And it makes a large batch so you can freeze for later. If interested just say so and I'll post.

[IrishHeart]

Me too! I will post mine....but I suspect Love2Travel's sauce (or gravy, as the Italian Bostonians say) is similar to mine?

[love2travel]

  On 7/26/2012 at 12:09 AM, IrishHeart said:

Me too! I will post mine....but I suspect Love2Travel's sauce (or gravy, as the Italian Bostonians say) is similar to mine?

I'm sure it is. Does it have milk in it to plump up the ground beef and make it soooooooooooooooo succulent? Must make some soon! This is making me hungry (as per usual).

[IrishHeart]

  On 7/26/2012 at 12:14 AM, love2travel said:

I'm sure it is. Does it have milk in it to plump up the ground beef and make it soooooooooooooooo succulent? Must make some soon! This is making me hungry (as per usual).

No milk....my meatballs have A SPLASH OF 1/2 AND 1/2 THOUGH

[psawyer]

Ketchup? KETCHUP?...

[kareng]

At the risk of Love fainting again...

I had some God Awful pasta sauce made mainly with V8 juice. 30 years later, I still shudder at the thought! (insert green barfy guy here).