Most Evil Wife Ever

[Adalaide]

So, apparently I am the world's most evil wife. When we go to the movies we always go to the store and pick up two boxes of candy and two sodas. I can't have pretty much anything at the theater, I can't have the popcorn because the butter sauce has soy. I can't have chocolate. Half the candy that isn't chocolate either has wheat in it or has a manufactured in warning. The rest I'd have to go through and carefully decide if it has some random tyramine ingredient I can't have. Honestly, who wants to pay like $600 for a box of candy anyway? They don't sell Mike and Ike at the theater so I don't bother. And I'm not going to buy some bladder buster sized diet Coke with the outside coated in soy butter sauce because teenagers don't understand the concept of hand washing.

Generally we get in just fine, but sometimes they notice I have a purse and enforce their "all bags will be checked" policy. This results in a you can't bring that in statement. Then I have to explain that I have multiple medical conditions and can't eat literally anything they offer. They stare blankly at me and repeat themselves. This is when I'm done messing around and frankly a little mad because I don't want to miss my previews. "I have a medical condition that is protected by the ADA and requires me to eat only certain foods and you don't sell this here or anything I can eat so legally you can't stop me." They here ADA and back off. I don't LIKE doing this but I frankly don't want to spend all night arguing with some flake about candy. And lets be honest... I was bring in candy.

So, we've gone totally healthy recently. And this is how I became the world's most evil wife. We were excited because The Avenger's was finally at the second run theater. So now instead of $15 we could go for $2, yay!!! (Yeah, we're spoiled.) As we're talking about when we're going to go I finally make my pitch to him. We're not taking candy. I'm making some dip, and not sour cream dip, healthy dip and we're taking that and carrots and all natural sodas with us. This covers two bases. First, we aren't eating candy any more so we aren't changing that for a movie. Second, if they decide to enforce their policy and get all funny on us they aren't really going to question a purse with all natural sodas and fresh veggies the way they would candy.

So yup, I made my husband sit through a movie in a theater with fresh veggies and healthy dip and reasonably healthier than usual soda. I'm officially evil.

[pricklypear1971]

He's gonna start going without you .

That's what mine would say...sorta jokingly??

[kareng]

A movie is less than 2 hours. Even a newborn baby can go 2-3 hours without eating.

We don't usually eat at a movie. When the kids were little, I brought Tootsie pops. I guess I'm "The Most Evil Mom Ever".

[ravenwoodglass]

Is your hubby gluten-free also? If not I would just let him eat his chemical packed junk and keep my yummy treats to myself. And I would slap his hand when he reached for any of mine. But of course then you would be the evil wife for not sharing.

[Adalaide]

Due to ongoing GI issues and other health problems for years I accompanied him to a recent appointment with his endocrinologist. When I suggested he may have celiac the doctor was all over it, when the blood tests were negative and I pointed out our insurance won't pay for a biopsy the doctor said he simply needs to be gluten free. So, yes, he is gluten free. Just another instance of how evil I am.

And yes, I am aware we technically could go a whole 2-3 hours without eating it's always been tradition to have candy or popcorn for a movie. It's just how it is, movie and a snack. Besides, you get in there and all you can smell is a metric butt ton of popcorn. If I didn't have a munchie I'd probably jump some kid and steal his popcorn or candy.

[Celiac Ninja]

Due to ongoing GI issues and other health problems for years I accompanied him to a recent appointment with his endocrinologist. When I suggested he may have celiac the doctor was all over it, when the blood tests were negative and I pointed out our insurance won't pay for a biopsy the doctor said he simply needs to be gluten free. So, yes, he is gluten free. Just another instance of how evil I am.

And yes, I am aware we technically could go a whole 2-3 hours without eating it's always been tradition to have candy or popcorn for a movie. It's just how it is, movie and a snack. Besides, you get in there and all you can smell is a metric butt ton of popcorn. If I didn't have a munchie I'd probably jump some kid and steal his popcorn or candy.

I totally understand the tradition for snackies at the movies. I use to, when single, wear baggy pants and sneak a ton in. Now that I'm married and was pregnant, I just whipped out the whole jar of peanut butter and a spoon in the theater and started munching and nobody bothered me lol They'd have to strong arm me to take my peanutbutter away

[kareng]

I totally understand the tradition for snackies at the movies. I use to, when single, wear baggy pants and sneak a ton in. Now that I'm married and was pregnant, I just whipped out the whole jar of peanut butter and a spoon in the theater and started munching and nobody bothered me lol They'd have to strong arm me to take my peanutbutter away

Now, for the next 3 years or so, you have the best way to bring snacks in anywhere......THE DIAPER BAG!

[IrishHeart]

Wanting to keep your hubs healthy so he will live a good long life?Gasp! Yes, ADDY, you are a walking b---h.

I can watch a movie without food, but in the "old days", I'd have have shared a big ole tubfull of that buttered popcorn with the hubs anyway. Not because I particularly even like it, but because it smelled good.

I have been happier with a tootsie pop, K !

[Juliebove]

I have been known to bring celery to the theater. I just cut it in thick slices and put it in a bag. It's dark. They just see me eating little pieces of something so they would assume it is popcorn.

Actually the big theater here now does have a ton of healthy options. I was really pretty astounded because we hadn't been to the movies in a while. Massively overpriced though. I just can't see the point of going to a theater. My parents love it and they go at least once a week. I don't really like most movies to begin with! So I get really annoyed if I have to sit through a bad one after I have paid enough money to see it that we could have gone out to eat for that price.

I finally broke down and got Netflix for my daughter. I wasn't going to do it. She wanted either that or a Redbox. She has had Redbox twice. And she only got the second one because they gave it to us for free. Redbox to me is a pain. Not as much of a pain as it was in the days when you had to go into like...Blockbuster or one of those places. But still a pain.

My mom was guilt tripping me and said I should at least get her one or the other. I got the Netflix. Best nearly $8 I have spent! Keeps her nice and quite and out of my hair for hours at a time. Heh.

[lovegrov]

Now, for the next 3 years or so, you have the best way to bring snacks in anywhere......THE DIAPER BAG!

But please, please, please don't bring that baby to the movie.

richard

[mbrookes]

And be sure you know what your daughter is watching on Netfliks. There is some wierd stuff out there!

[lpellegr]

I have been known to bring celery to the theater. I just cut it in thick slices and put it in a bag. It's dark. They just see me eating little pieces of something so they would assume it is popcorn.

If I ate celery in the theater, I wouldn't be able to hear the movie!

[mushroom]

If I ate celery in the theater, I wouldn't be able to hear the movie!

Nor would those around you!