Ate Out Tonight

[laurelfla]

ok, i need your loving support here. i just got done eating out for the first time in several weeks (at Carrabba's) and i'm feeling sensitive (emotionally, that is!). so far no symptoms, i am keeping my fingers crossed. it was my friend's birthday, so yeah. had to go and be supportive, even though i would've rather gone somewhere with SLIGHTLY LESS PASTA AND AWESOME BREAD!

here's the play-by-play:

i am by no means an assertive person. i'd been dreading the talk with the server. the very few times i ate out after being diagnosed, i didn't know all i know now. so now i was much more nervous. anyway, i'd read someone's post that they always ask to speak to the manager. but i didn't really know what to say to him/her that i wouldn't already be saying to the waiter. so i didn't do that step. i get the gluten-free menu and ask the waiter if he's familiar with that menu. he quips, "i'm familiar with everything on the menu, so yes" (big smile from waiter). i pick out a salad and explain that it can have no contact with croutons and must be mixed in a fresh bowl. he repeats the instructions and doesn't make a big deal out of it. then my friends plied me with questions about what happens if it touches a crouton, what's the name of the disease, how do you spell it... all the fun things i'd rather talk about some other time, but oh well. better to educate them now, i suppose.

so then when we get done eating, the waiter offers to box up everyone's food. now, this man has been handling bread and who knows what all night, and he would've taken it back to the kitchen with him, so i said i'd rather box it up myself, if he wouldn't mind bringing me the box. he looks at me and jokingly said, "you don't trust me?" i smiled and said, "no." so he walks away and comes back with the box and hands it to me, saying with a smirk, "now i can't guarantee that a crouton didn't touch it!" my friends laughed, but i just thought that was rude. maybe i am being too sensitive right now? but who the crap is he to make snide comments about my food-boxing preferences, AFTER I ORDERED OFF A SPECIAL MENU? dude. i know outback and all that family of restaurants does not train their staff to deal with gluten issues, but to me, this is just a matter of common courtesy.

and then, all my friends started joking (innocently, i'm sure) about how i should hand my waiter 5 pairs of gloves to use while preparing and delivering my food... it was hard to laugh at that. i mean, it would be ideal!! -- at least i wouldn't be sitting there counting down the minutes until i know if i'm going to get sick from the whole experience.

this incredibly long, pointless post doesn't even encompass the fact that the bread smelled amazing... and the pasta all around me looked so delicious. i don't think i'll be heading back anytime soon, if only for that reason -- it's too hard to be around Italian!!

if you've made it this far, thanks for reading! i'm feeling sorry for myself. anyone want to play me a violin solo?

[Carriefaith]

I know it's annoying eating out with people who you haven't explained the diet to yet and at a new place. I can automatically assume that I will have to answer 101 questions whenever I go out like that. I still have friends that don't get it.

I actually ate out tonight as well and so far so good for me too I don't normally eat out either, but I didn't have time to go home and cook tonight

[hez]

I also ate out tonight. It is my dh birthday and it is a tradition to go to Old Chicago's (pizza, pasta). He of course said that we didn't have to go. But he has been so supportive and careful I figured he deserved a beer and pizza on his day. Of course there was absolutely nothing I could eat. I knew this ahead of time and ate beforehand. I ordered a side salad. So far feeling good. I did feel like everyone around us was staring at me. Thinking that skinny lady needs to eat something other than a tiny salad! It was sad, no getting around it.

[skoki-mom]

((Hugs)) Laurel. Sounds like more of an ordeal than a celebration. I'm sure your friends and the server didn't intend to sound so flippant, but I agree that it is hard to just keep smiling while you are dying on the inside. I pretend it doesn't bother me (like if I say 'oh that pasta looks good, I'm sure you'll enjoy it") when really I just wonder if I'm being contaminated and not even knowing it. It is weird being on this side of the fence, it's a whole new world. I don't think the crouton comment by the waiter was called for, it was rude.

[nogluten-]

I don't enjoy eating out anymore either. Maybe there will be a strictly gluten free chain restaurant some day. That would be heaven!

[Rachel--24]

Awwww....sorry you had to deal with all that. You're much braver then me though...I haven't even thought about going to a restaraunt yet.

Now that I've read you're post I'm sure it'll be even longer till I decide to eat out. I can't stop thinking about fresh bread and pasta now.

I haven't thought about all that yet...I've just been sheltered in my safe little gluten-free world for the past month. I don't think I could handle all that gluten around me...I LOVE bread!!!! I LOVE Italian!!!! Do you see what you did to me.

I think I would be totally unassertive with the waiters....probably have some anxiety about it like you described. I wouldn't want to make a big deal and call the manager over.

I'm sure I would end up glutened.

[Wandering Hermit]

Laurel:

I'm sorry to hear that. The waiter's behavior was not cool. The other thing that sucks is that he would probably not act that way with a male customer. If I was treated like that I would have probably lost my temper. He certainly would have felt the impact when he collected his tip. You should call the manager and complain. Then hopefully the next Celiac that gets served by this twerp will get a bit more respect.

Grrrrrr.

[SharonF]

You should write a letter to the manager of the restaurant complaining about the server's rudeness. Even the most non-assertive of us can write letters, you don't even have to see anyone! That was completely uncalled for behavior on his part.

[luvs2eat]

I'm with SharonF... I'd have spoken to the manager. Would they react the same way if it was a kid with a peanut allergy and the mom was asking those questions? I think not.

I've been super lucky lately. The last several times I've gone out to eat, I've had a waitperson who knows someone with celiac disease! They've been very supportive and helpful...

Sorry your experience was so awful!! Don't give up tho!

[Guest nini]

I'm sorry you had such an awful experience. I too agree that you shouldn't let this slide, and write a letter to the manager or even to the corporate to let them know that you were not treated with simple respect and service that any customer deserves. They are in the business of serving people and if they can't remember their manners maybe these kind of people need to find different jobs.

[tarnalberry]

There's no getting around it, without a strong sense of self-humor (in all circumstances, including embarassing) and a fairly outgoing nature, it can be hard to eat gluten-free in a restaurant. By the nature of the beast, you stand out, and I know that can be very uncomfortable for some people. It does get easier over time, I promise. I've been gluten-free for two years now, and though I still looked longingly at the tasty looking, but not gluten-free, mongolian beef at PF Changs last night, it's easier to pass on it and say "that's just not something I eat" than it used to be.

Hang in there, you did the right thing!

[laurelfla]

you guys are so wonderful!!

thanks for making me feel better. i hate this having to be accomodated... i think eating out will be a fairly rare activity for me.

but you're all right, i think i will write a letter. i was talking to Kaiti on aim last night and we agreed that no one would joke around about the presence of sugar in a diabetic person's food... and if they did, people wouldn't laugh, they'd label him a jackass!

i woke up with a killer headache this morning and super fatigued. but it is most likely sinus trouble and unrelated, because my stomach feels fine.

thanks again for your support. i don't know what i would do without this place to come and vent!

love,

Laurel.

[skbird]

I don't eat out much but I have some things I always try to do when I do. For example, I always try to sit nearest where the waiter will stand (so I'm not yelling to them) or make sure I can beckon them over to me when I order, and I also try to order first, because everyone else is usually still trying to decide what to get. Then the gratuitous joke is usually made that "all the rest of us are FINE with gluten..." etc.

I have called ahead at one restaurant I'd not been to before - turned out the head chef's (who I talked with) wife can't have gluten. So that was easy. But they still put peppers in my mixed veggies and oddly, it was one of the worst steaks I'd ever had. But I didn't get sick...

The only place I feel comfortable eating at is one of the sushi bars in town. I bring my own Braggs and just order rolls and sashimi. I have found even when I'm feeling pretty bad that I can still tolerate this food. All the rest is kind of scary, but I'll still occasionally do it, if someone really wants to go out. But I did find out recently my local butcher shop (attached to the health food store) supplies the steaks, including the filet mignons, to the two restaurants I like the most (where the filet dinner is $25) so lately we've been buying those on occasion instead of going out for a fancy dinner. We still save quite a bit that way and I don't have to worry about gluten.

Anyway, it will get better!

Stephanie

[fisharefriendsnotfood]

I can't believe people would be so mean! I had an experience where, at my sleepover camp, the snack that day was fudgesicles. Fudgesicles aren't gluten-free, so I asked the guy in charge of snack that day if I could have a popsicle from the box the brought for lactose intolerant people, because I could have that kind. I say, "Could I have a lactose popsicle please? I'm allergic to fudgesicles." And he goes, "I don't think you're telling the truth." And I say, "Of course I am! Why would I want a popsicle when clearly fudgesicles taste a whole lot better?" Finally after bugging him for a while he gave me one.

I mean seriously! These people just are so lucky that they don't understand.

-Jackie