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Looking For A Friend Who Understands

freedomseek00

By freedomseek00
in Meet Up Room

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freedomseek00 Rookie
freedomseek00
Posted

Hi,

I'm 23 years old and was recently diagnosed with celiac and a host of other food allergies and health conditions. I was wondering if there is anyone in the Bay Area, California who can relate and would like to be buddies (email, text, chat online, face-to-face). You don't even really have to be from the Bay Area, I just would like someone to talk to (that's what's so great about the internet). Right now I only have my dad (who is sensitive to gluten but no other food allergies) and my boyfriend (who has no food allergies) and they try to help as much as they can but it's not the same as having someone who can directly relate and who will understand my story. Otherwise, I have no other friends because I've been so sick for the past 5 years until they finally figured out it was food allergies a couple months ago. I'd love having more friends I can talk to and we could support each other Admittingly, I need a lot of support right now, I'm really struggling with accepting that this is my new life.

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rosetapper23 Explorer
rosetapper23
Posted

I live in Martinez in Contra Costa County--whereabouts are you located? There are a number of gluten-free folks in the S.F. Bay Area, and we used to meet up every few months at Mariposa Bakery in Oakland....but it's been a while. If you register at Open Original Shared Link, you'll get invited to local gluten-free meetups. You just missed a one-day gluten-free conference in Palo Alto, but one-day events are fairly common in the Bay Area--lots of new people to meet. Please send me a PM if you'd like to meet up sometime at a restaurant that has a reputable gluten-free menu. If you actually live in S.F., there are some great gluten-free restaurants (even one that serves sandwiches!).

Also, there are some great celiac organizations in the U.S. that hold annual conferences. I'm a member of the Gluten Intolerance Group of North America (GIGNA), and I attend their conferences all over the U.S. I have friends that I've kept in touch with through this organization, and it helps me not to feel so lonely and isolated. There is a local chapter: GIG of North Marin, I believe. They hold monthly meetings in Novato, but because their meetings are in the evening and I have night blindness (from celiac), I haven't yet attended one of their meetings. There are also several forum posters here who live in the Bay Area, though I've never met them personally. Perhaps they'll chime in...

Please feel free to contact me--I remember all too well how overwhelmed and lonely I felt at first. It's been almost nine years for me, so it's gotten a lot better. Hope to hear from you!

BeckyW Contributor
BeckyW
Posted

Hi,

I'm 23 years old and was recently diagnosed with celiac and a host of other food allergies and health conditions. I was wondering if there is anyone in the Bay Area, California who can relate and would like to be buddies (email, text, chat online, face-to-face). You don't even really have to be from the Bay Area, I just would like someone to talk to (that's what's so great about the internet). Right now I only have my dad (who is sensitive to gluten but no other food allergies) and my boyfriend (who has no food allergies) and they try to help as much as they can but it's not the same as having someone who can directly relate and who will understand my story. Otherwise, I have no other friends because I've been so sick for the past 5 years until they finally figured out it was food allergies a couple months ago. I'd love having more friends I can talk to and we could support each other Admittingly, I need a lot of support right now, I'm really struggling with accepting that this is my new life.

I don't live in the CA area but I totally understand how you feel. Besides not being able to eat gluten, I have multiple food issues. The main ones are soy and dairy. I also can't eat alot of vegetables or fruits. It sure can be frustrating and helps to have someone to talk to about all this. I am always willing to talk to you!!

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    • cristiana
      My Adult daughter is blaming me for her "possible" Celiac disease.

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      Hi Marie Welcome to the forum. I am so sorry your daughter is pointing the finger at you like this.   I am afraid children of any age can be very cruel to their parents - I certainly look back at some of the things I said to my mother and father in the past, and wish I could unsay them.  Sometimes people just need a safe place to vent, and unfortunately having a go at one's parents is the all too easy option.  If she is anything like me, she will regret what she says one day.  (Oh... if only I had the chance rewind the clock!) I just wanted to add one more thing to Trent's and Scott's excellent posts and that is regarding diet:  I have to say, not one person  (my nutritionist, my gastroenterologist or GP) has EVER suggested that a poor diet was the cause of my coeliac disease.    In all the various clinics I have attended these past nearly 12 years no-one has ever asked if I was brought up on processed food, or questioned if I eat 5 fruit and veg a day.  Sure, unfortunately I am only too well aware that I could do a lot better with my diet and it's a constant challenge for me not to give into what I like (unfortunately I've always had a sweet tooth).   But I know some super healthy 10 fruit and veg a day types who still got coeliac disease, and equally, a lot of people who eat all the wrong stuff and they still have cast iron stomachs. Do encourage her to get checked though - it may be that she hasn't got coeliac disease at all. Come back to us if you need any more support through the process. Cristiana
    • trents
      My Adult daughter is blaming me for her "possible" Celiac disease.

      By trents · Posted

      Welcome to the forum, @Marie70! The first thing to know is that celiac disease has a genetic base. The two main genes that have been identified as providing the potential to develop celiac disease are HLA-DQ2 and HLA-DQ8. About 40% of  the general population carries one or both of these genes. However, only about 1% of the general population ever develops celiac disease. So, we know that in addition to possessing the genetic potential to develop celiac disease, there has to be some triggering environmental or medical "stress" factor (or factors) that switches the gene or genes on such that they are awakened from their latent condition and become active. What may be the triggering factor (or factors) is the subject of much debate. Here is an article that discusses this subject: Second, what will your daughter have to say if her testing for celiac disease is negative? She may have to add crow to her diet. Third, and this is what I really want to focus on because my wife and I are dealing with something similar in our relationship with our own adult daughter: the real problem is not whatever shortcomings you, as the family cook, may have had when providing meals, the real problem is with your daughter's heart/soul/attitude. If it turns out to be true that she has celiac disease, it is likely she would have developed the condition sooner or later even if her diet had been healthier while growing up. She is angry about the prospect of having to deal with the dietary and social limitations that having celiac disease would impose upon her. She doesn't want to face up to the fact that this may be a new reality that will dramatically changer her life and she is looking for someone or something to blame. And she has conveniently turned her wrath on you rather than saying to herself, "Okay, this is what it is. Now what can I do to make adjustments in order to with it the best way I can?"  When faced with a life-changing reality, people will either accept it for what it is, make adjustments and move on or they will become angry and look for something or someone to blame and get stuck. For now, at least, your daughter has chosen the latter option. Don't let her problem destroy both of you.
    • Scott Adams
      My Adult daughter is blaming me for her "possible" Celiac disease.

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of guilt, but please know that you didn’t cause your daughter’s potential celiac disease or your son’s Crohn’s. These conditions have strong genetic components, and while diet can influence symptoms, it does not cause autoimmune diseases. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time, and no parent is perfect. Your daughter’s frustration is understandable, but it’s likely coming from a place of fear and uncertainty rather than true blame. Let her get tested, and if she does have celiac disease, you can support her moving forward. Instead of focusing on guilt, try shifting the conversation toward healing and learning together. You’re not alone, and you don’t deserve to carry this weight on your own. This article might be helpful. She needs to be screened for celiac disease before she can be sure that she has it. Another approach not discussed in the article is a genetic test for celiac disease, which she could do without eating gluten.      
    • Marie70
      My Adult daughter is blaming me for her "possible" Celiac disease.

      By Marie70 · Posted

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