Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

Funny Rendition Of A Colonoscopy

irish daveyboy

Recommended Posts

irish daveyboy Community Regular
irish daveyboy
Posted

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon,

a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.

I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


MyMississippi Enthusiast
MyMississippi
Posted

:lol::lol::lol: This was soooooooo funny ! ! ! !

Thanks for posting ! :P

missy'smom Collaborator
missy'smom
Posted
:lol: Those gowns, paper or cloth, DO make you feel more naked than if you were really naked! I feel so vulnerable. I've been more comfortable in a public bath house in a foreign country where I was the only caucasian than in one of those! I should have known that it would be Dave Barry writing that. He's funny.
ohsotired Enthusiast
ohsotired
Posted

Oh how timely. I have a colonoscopy scheduled for the 28th of this month (never had one before).

I was already freaked out about it........and now............

I did actually laugh out loud while reading this though. Glad there's a humorous side to it. :unsure:

ShayFL Enthusiast
ShayFL
Posted

That was a riot. You might as well laugh at these types of things......it beats crying. :P

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

"your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food

that you have not even eaten yet."

Oh yeah! :lol::lol: That was hilarious! Yep--we may as well laugh.....

Katsby Apprentice
Katsby
Posted

lol oh man I couldn't stop laughing out loud while reading that because it's all true. I wish I had known what to really expect from that nasty jug before I went through it all. I had my endo and colonoscopy on the same day, and I am so thankful I don't remember a single thing from the actual procedure. The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

Mine was orange flavored and it was a while before I could look an orange in the eye again :D

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted
lol oh man I couldn't stop laughing out loud while reading that because it's all true. I wish I had known what to really expect from that nasty jug before I went through it all. I had my endo and colonoscopy on the same day, and I am so thankful I don't remember a single thing from the actual procedure. The prep was horrible, and I will never forget that faint lemon-lime salt water taste ever :(

I got pills. I'm in Ct though, maybe they have different stuff up here. And my lovely, silly mother decided that she had been constipated for too long and took a laxative the same day I was doing my prep for the colonoscopy. Nice job, Ma. We were both dancing around the bathroom holding our butts half the day.

And I REMEMBER my procedure. I guess the amnesiac effect the drugs are supposed to have didn't work on me. The nurses were laughing at me cuz I was so stoned though. Man, they inject that stuff in the Iv and three seconds later WHooooo!!!!! I didn't care what they were doing to me really, I was having a blast. Except for when you have to swallow that tube, no fun. I do remember watching them take biospies of my insides on that screen. That was interesting.

Live2BWell Enthusiast
Live2BWell
Posted

Omg, LOL - that was great :D

I had a colonoscopy on Tuesday, so that definitely gave me a good laugh. Unfortunately I had to do a few enema's(and didn't get to drink anything, which I would have rathered!) and they didn't give me enough of the verced (the twilight anesthesia) because I rememberparts of the procedure (soooo UNcool) but they did hook me up with a good cocktail, so I was feeling pretty good :rolleyes:

p.s. JNBunnie1, I hear you about watching it on the screen, that part was kind of cool :P

  • 9 months later...
larry mac Enthusiast
larry mac
Posted

Sorry about posting to an old post from a link in a new post. But that was really funny. I miss Dave Barry. He was genius. Thanks Irish Dave.

best regards, lm

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

I always enjoyed Dave Barry, too :)

Amid the laughter, I will always be grateful because a colonoscopy literally saved my dad's life 35 years ago :D

Tim-n-VA Contributor
Tim-n-VA
Posted

Just to clarify for anyone who might misunderstand the past tense of some of the posts: Dave Barry is still alive and writing books. He just quit writing a weekly column.

flourgirl Apprentice
flourgirl
Posted

I've always loved Barrys sense of humor too! Thanks for posting this Dave :lol:

When I had my proceedure I was already in serious trouble with The Big D and nausea! I don't think I got over the Movie Prep for a looooonnnnggg time. I STILL can't abide the very thought of ginger-ale, which I used to mix with. I've never had anything so disgusting. BUTT (heh heh) this very thing saved my life, because it was decided to do an endo at the same time, and so I got a diagnosis!!!! Good things sometimes do come in small (prep) boxes :DB)

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Gads, that was SO funny. "Think missile lifting off" :lol: :lol: :lol:

T'was an experience I'll never forget, but my prep was called something different (but was equally foul). And then I had to do it all again the very next week for a scan!! All that salt!! My ankles swelled and have never gone down since :( :(

  • 1 year later...
jackay Enthusiast
jackay
Posted

I just came home from the drugstore with my Movi-Prep so decided I better google it and make sure this it is gluten free. This is the what I was lead to. Did I ever laugh. I think it will give me the humor I need to get through the prep and procedure. I'm thankful I don't know the person doing it.

I can really relate to this quote of his: "your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet." I feel that way most days without a prep. I can't imagine how bad it is going to be when I actually drink that nasty stuff.

Thank heavens for humor!

cahill Collaborator
cahill
Posted

OMG I laughed right out loud,lol

Thank you for bumping this thread,,,,

** cation ** do not have a mouth full of rice crackers while reading this thread :D **

sa1937 Community Regular
sa1937
Posted

I can really relate to this quote of his: "your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet." I feel that way most days without a prep. I can't imagine how bad it is going to be when I actually drink that nasty stuff.

Just think, jackay...you'll be half-prepped before you start the prep!!! :lol: I was also!

Yes, I can relate after surviving a colonoscopy shortly before Christmas. Maybe it's a good thing I didn't read this hilarious rendition beforehand. Hahaha

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. Mari
      - Mari replied to emily 1's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      6

      Black Pepper Reactions

      Hi Emily, What you described is very similar to what I experienced in coping with Celiacs. I think my first symptoms started when I was about 3 and I wasn't diagnosed until I was almost 70. I got along OK util I was about 30 when I began to have more problems that the Drs thought was an autoimmune problem that they couldn't identify. Then I worked in...
    2. dixonpete
      - dixonpete commented on dixonpete's blog entry in Pete Dixon
      8

      A video with researcher William Parker about Helminthic Therapy

      Necator americanus is particularly well adapted to humans. Personally I don't know of any cases outside of accidental overdoses where Helminthic Therapy self-treaters have suffered harm from NA. Sometimes the treatment doesn't help, and very occasionally side effects are intolerable. In those cases, if desired the worms can be killed off. Regular medical...
    3. Mari
      - Mari replied to dlaino's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      6

      Coping with celiac

      mcg Vit. B12Hi dlaino - You mentioned that you are now feeling sick all the time. If this is making you miserable you might want to go to your health provider, describe what you are feeling and your symptoms so that theySome of the people here can give you useful advice about taking supp;ements and the amounts you could take to improve your overall health...
    4. trents
      - trents replied to Tyoung's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      1

      Increasing symptoms after going gluten free

      Welcome to the forum, @Tyoung! It is possible that you are experiencing some kind of gluten withdrawal but I would thing that would have started to subside by now. There are a couple of possibilities that come to mind. One is the polysaccharide ingredients that are typically found in prepackaged "gluten-free" wheat flour facsimile foods. If...
    5. Tyoung
      - Tyoung posted a topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      1

      Increasing symptoms after going gluten free

      Before my diagnosis I would consider myself pretty much asymptomatic other than a few flare ups of what I previously thought were ibs symptoms. After having iron deficiency as well I had a positive blood test and EGD. I have now been gluten free for about a month but my symptoms have gotten worse. I now have bloating, acid reflux, and pain in the upper abdomen...
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      126,999
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    MrsCake
    Newest Member
    MrsCake
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121k
    • Total Posts
      69.8k
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Who's Online (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Mari
      Black Pepper Reactions

      By Mari · Posted

      Hi Emily, What you described is very similar to what I experienced in coping with Celiacs. I think my first symptoms started when I was about 3 and I wasn't diagnosed until I was almost 70. I got along OK util I was about 30  when I began to have more problems that the Drs thought was an autoimmune problem that they couldn't identify. Then I worked in medical labs in Bolivia for 8 months and returned to the US with more problems such as sensitivities to chemicals and increasing food intolerances. I had always had canker sores in my mouth and nose but have not had any now  since I went strictly gluten free. Before I was gluten-free I became very sensitive to hot peppers and then I could not eat anything spicy such as cinnamon, turmeric or black peppers. I have not eaten any nightshades for years. No corn or soy.  My diet now is lamb stew with rice, squash, green beans, chard, kale, collards with salt. Then eggs , chard, spinach, black beans, summer squash, asparagus, rice and salt. I eat peanuts for snacks. I have been eating nuts but may have to stop. Coconut is OK but too much sugar is not.  I am very cautious about adding back foods to my diet but hope to add back small amounts of turmeric. Take care.
    • Mari
      Coping with celiac

      By Mari · Posted

      mcg Vit. B12Hi dlaino  - You mentioned that you are now feeling sick all the time. If this is making you miserable you might want to go to your health provider, describe what you are feeling and your symptoms so that theySome of the people here can give you useful advice about taking supp;ements and the amounts you could take to improve your overall health. I have increased my Vit. B12  can help you figure out what is happening. Just because you have gluten intolerance does not mean that your current problems are related to that. Some of the people here can give you useful advice about supplements and how much to take for improved health. I recently upped my Vit. D3 from 50 mcg to 150 mcg and now take either 500 mcg or 1000 mcg of vit. B12 sublingual daily instead of once a week.                                    Take care
    • trents
      Increasing symptoms after going gluten free

      By trents · Posted

      Welcome to the forum, @Tyoung! It is possible that you are experiencing some kind of gluten withdrawal but I would thing that would have started to subside by now. There are a couple of possibilities that come to mind. One is the polysaccharide ingredients that are typically found in prepackaged "gluten-free" wheat flour facsimile foods. If you read the ingredient lists of such foods you will usually find things like guar gum and xanthan gum. Their function is to give the product a texture similar to wheat flour but they are hard to digest and give many celiacs digestive issues. I mention this not knowing if you are relying on prepackaged gluten free food items to any extent or are just choosing carefully from mainstream naturally gluten free food items. Another is that your body is just going through adjustment to a major dietary change. Wheat is a significant component to the typical western diet that supplies certain nutrients and some fiber that has now been withdrawn suddenly. Are you experiencing any constipation? Also be aware that foods made from gluten-free flour are typically devoid of nutritional value. Wheat flour is mandated by government regulations to be fortified with vitamins but gluten-free flours are not. It can be smart to compensate for this with vitamin and mineral supplements. Still another possibility is that in addition to being gluten intolerant, your also have other food intolerances. One small study found that 50% of celiacs reacted to dairy like they do gluten. That number may be on the high side in reality and more research needs to be done. However, it is true that dairy intolerance is very common in the celiac community. Another common "cross reactive" food is oats. There are certain foods whose proteins closely resemble gluten and cause the same reaction. About 10% of celiacs react to the protein "avenin" in oats like the do the protein gluten. You might try eliminating dairy and oats for a few weeks and see if your symptoms improve.
    • Tyoung
      Increasing symptoms after going gluten free

      By Tyoung · Posted

      Before my diagnosis I would consider myself pretty much asymptomatic other than a few flare ups of what I previously thought were ibs symptoms. After having iron deficiency as well I had a positive blood test and EGD. I have now been gluten free for about a month but my symptoms have gotten worse. I now have bloating, acid reflux, and pain in the upper abdomen on and off most days. I am pretty positive I am not being glutened as we overhauled our whole house to be gluten free and haven’t eaten out since the diagnosis. Has anyone else experienced a worsening of symptoms after going gluten free? Will it subside? Or is there something else I should be concerned about. Thank you! 
    • RMJ
      Global Food Gluten Free Certification

      By RMJ · Posted

      That is strange.  Other pages talk about testing. The one thing I like about GFCO is that the handbook for their certification process is available on their website.  I may not agree with the whole process, especially the reduced testing, but at least I can see what the process is. I wish the other certifying organizations would publish their processes. GFCO 2024 manual
×
×
  • Create New...