I appreciate your input! I just feel like I've gone a little bit insane. No one else in my family has any of this going on so I always feel a little like a weirdo. My dad, I think, had some food intolerances that were never official but he died way back from a non-health related incident. It's hard to know for sure. You make good points on how to handle this...
As a disclaimer, I feel a little like a fraud for wondering if this is the answer. Maybe I'm just complaining too much or it's just in my head. I would be enormously grateful for wisdom.
I have been lactose intolerant since I was very small, around 5. We didn't figure it out for a while but in the meantime, I instinctively hated dairy products generally...